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Morden
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Posts posted by Morden
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I am sitting here in my parents home in Oz drinking a can of VB and wondering if thailand will ever be the same for me.
I decided that I needed a break and had a short holiday on the coast with a couple of good old mates from Thailand, who have now gone back. Both of them have been in Thailand longer than me(7 years). Both still great mates and seem to have it sussed in Thailand and wouldn't move anwhre else.
Thailand has become boring
When I left college in Oz 10 years ago, Thailand was very exciting - shaggin lots of bgs in Bangkok and the beaches while making heaps of cash(not in legal ways).
This gave me a real adrenalin rush and Thailand was fun! I travelled round Europe and settled for living in Thailand when I was 26.
I have lived in thailand for 7 years, been maried for 5 years with two sons aged 6 and 4 and a daughter aged 1.5 years. My wife has become fat, but I still love her very much, she is 30 yo.
maybe I am just going through a crisis of some sort, certainly drinking a lot more, but really am pissed off with Thailand and worry about the future of my kids, and my wife.
Australia has far better opportunities for career and education. Maybe it is time to move the clan over.
Do you fellows think that after a certain amount of years Thailand loses it's appeal?
Any advice appreciated, especially from long term residents or guys with children.
Your kids are growing up really fast whether you notice it or not. If you are bored then spend more time with your kids while they're still kids. If you don't then you will wish you had....guaranteed. Actually maybe your boredom is a blessing in that it frees you up to be there for your kids....do it....every day....if you do then 20 years from now you will thank me for this advise....guaranteed...
Excellent point, Chownah. How can a father be bored with children of those ages to nurture? There's more to do than show them how to drink beer. As you point out, they are kids for only a short time and only once in their lives so don't blow it Saraburioz!
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My girlfriend is from Khonburi, I think somewhere west of Korat. Anyone know of this place? Is it a very small town? Is it a farming town? What kind of town is it? How far is it from Korat?
I'm thinking of leaving my teaching job of some 14 years here in Los Angeles to come to work and live with her. Are there any quality schools or universities that I could work at and make a decent salary? I'm 48years old and very happy at my present school where I'm also the head basketball coach there too, so am I crazy to even be thinking about such a change in my life right now?
I would appreciate any information on Khonburi and teaching opportunities in Korat.
Khon Buri is not far from Pak Thon Chai where we are building a house. It's just a little way south of Korat town - abput 45 minites by car. I don't know Khon Buri itself but it's probably a market town in a farming area. Korat town is big and will have all that you need in the way of shopping. There are plenty of schools but do you speak Thai. Private English lesson in Korat town might go down well but don't expect to make a fortune.
Don't take advice from others about what it's like to live in that area. Go there yourself, have a look around, get to know people. I like the Korat area very much but I have had to get to know and accept the local ways. It's a good way to find out whether you're crazy or not! In any case, if you're thinking of teaming up with your girlfriend, get to know the family because you will be part of it.
If you want to hedge your bets and own a house in LA, keep it. Rent it out if you have to but don't sell it.
If you would like me to try for more information, send a PM and I'll ask my wife.
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play nicely kids, otherwise Auntie Boo will have to spank you.
You're just encouraging some of them with threats like that!
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I have'nt got any the tattoo's, the wife has them all.
With your apostrophe use, I'd say you were Russian?
1) to form possessives of nouns, 2) to show the omission of letters, and 3) to indicate plurals of letters, numbers and symbols.
That's a bit rude. Your spelling and grammar isn't perfect either. Also, this is not the first time that you have made a comment about nationality.
Are you here looking for trouble? If so, please go away because we just want to have a quiet chat.
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On my first trip to LOS I took loads of pairs of slacks, shirts with long sleeves and collars, a few ties, socks, lace up shoes and, of all things, a linen jacket. Hardly any t-shirts or shorts. Boy, was it hot in BKK! All that was missing was a pith helmet. Now I wear short sleeves in the evening and, depending on where we go, maybe a t-shirt during the day. Sandals (not Roman) but no socks most of the time unless we are heading to a decent restaurant. Also, I now have Thai-style slip-on shoes to speed up my entry to and egress from homes and wats. I wear 'smart' shorts during the daytime if we are just mooching about. I don't like shiny footy shorts where your bits are held in by a string bag or those funny baggy things that look as though they should reach the feet but stop for no apparent reason just below the knee. I just wouldn't look right in tbem but very few guys do. I do like to see the farang dressed Majorca style though because I can turn to her who must be obeyed and whisper, 'Darling, you are very lucky'.
Most of us spend much of our lives dressed 'for the occasion' or to please others so why not please ourselves in a hot climate when we're not working? The only proviso, I think is to always respect the local culture because it's so important to the Thais. The Majorca style stands out as looking a bit odd because it's relatively uncommon but not so funny as those Thai tops with slogans in English that the wearer obviously doesn't understand.
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SiamOne,
The working class family culture in the UK was once very similar to what I have seen of the country community that I know in Thailand. Family members all lived very close to one another and helped each other when problems arose. This was all finally destroyed in the 1950's and '60's when their communities were demolished, mothers were encouraged to get full-time jobs and the State took over care of children and the elderly. In our quest for a better material standard of living, we forgot about the values that really mattered. Let's hope that Thailand doesn't go the same way.
You've hit on one of the more perplexing aspects of 'modern' society, because there is no solution.
Many mothers now go out to work to earn money for 'luxuries' which they believe they cannot do without but which people were once more or less content without. Kids often come home to an empty house, instead of a nice warm kitchen and the smell of dinner cooking.
But, morally, can we deny an intelligent woman going out to work? Of course not, at least in the western world. So there is no solution, and the family infrastructure is damaged.
In my perfect world I would make a law that one partner can work and the other stays at home to raise the family. They can choose which parent does which.
The country Thai families, at least those that I know in Isaan, share parenting within the wider family circle rather than keep the responsibility for a child only with its parents. This allows the wage-earning parents to work while the children are cared for by grandparents or other non-wage-earners in the family. I suppose that this might make it easier for butterflyman Dad to flutter off completely but it seems a better system than leaving children on their own or in the hands of minders. And boy, do the kids look so much happier than many of the spoilt brats that I see in the UK.
A bit off topic again but lets regard it as about 'Why I'm still with my Thai wife' so that it's at least related to it.
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SiamOne,
The working class family culture in the UK was once very similar to what I have seen of the country community that I know in Thailand. Family members all lived very close to one another and helped each other when problems arose. This was all finally destroyed in the 1950's and '60's when their communities were demolished, mothers were encouraged to get full-time jobs and the State took over care of children and the elderly. In our quest for a better material standard of living, we forgot about the values that really mattered. Let's hope that Thailand doesn't go the same way.
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I learned many years ago not to judge people by their background, education, job or social standing. Many people in LOS are caught in an economic trap and are unlikely ever to be wealthy in a material sense. However, the people that I have met around Pak Thong Chai could teach many of the Brits that I know a great deal about quality of life and family values. My experience is also that a Thai woman will put a great deal more committment into a marriage than many British women that I have met.
Well said. A very enlightened post.
Would be careful re the British women reference tho, will maybe raise some hackles.
As for commitment to a relationship, British men and women are probably both guilty of lack of commitment.(at times)
Point taken, Loong, but I was really just comparing my experience of Thai ladies with the 'available' British ones that I have known. I accept that many other British women are wonderful (but they all seemed to have good husbands!
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you probably right Morden
so where did you meet your Thai wife??
Sorry, SiamOne, this is all way off your topic. We met in BKK through an agency. She's a farmer's daughter from Isaan. I'd booked a holiday and was prepared to walk away from the idea of meeting someone through an agency if it didn't feel right but we just clicked.
I learned many years ago not to judge people by their background, education, job or social standing. Many people in LOS are caught in an economic trap and are unlikely ever to be wealthy in a material sense. However, the people that I have met around Pak Thong Chai could teach many of the Brits that I know a great deal about quality of life and family values. My experience is also that a Thai woman will put a great deal more committment into a marriage than many British women that I have met.
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Saraburioz,
You seem to be a very angry and unhappy man but there's no need to project your feelings of inadequacy onto the rest of us. When you learn to accept yourself you will also learn to be less judgemental of others and to take pleasure in the fact that each of us is different from the others. You and your wife are no better than anyone else and, perhaps, no-one else is better than you.
To be a bit more basic, if you come onto a forum such as this and insult a substantial proportion of its members and their partners, you can expect to get a good lashing.
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i am an irish guy ......... and want to move somewhere and maybe open a small bar ,not to make a lot of money just to have a more relaxed life in nice sorrundings
Why not go back to Ireland? From my experience, it fits your requirements perfectly.
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I am certainly not the best husband in the world: I work very long hours, I come home late and drunk sometimes after a night out with friends or colleagues, and I take after my father in being rather remote and aloof. If that's not bad enough I have had dalliances with a demimondaine on occasion, although *very* infrequently in comparison to most other married guys I have met, and I have never admitted to anything (and yes I feel sh!tty about that).
She asked to come back, I said give me all the stuff and we'll talk, she said no way because if she gives it back we've nothing to talk about. It's all a bit Catch 22, that's why I am looking at the legal options and asking advice now
Could it be that she is hurt or hacked off by your behaviour and is either trying to teach you a lesson or get to you to listen to her and change your ways? If you want the relationship to end, then do it decently and recognise that she has been your partner for several years. If you would prefer to give it another chance, allow her the bargaining chips, stop feeling hard done by and listen to what she has to say. Get a lawyer on the job now and you can say goodbye to her, your money, to either her or the lawyer, and the friends that you have made around her. You're in a life changing mood so think carefully.
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Try The Mall in Ramkamhaeng Road (north side, not Mall 2) and the little shops and kiosks along the road between there and Big C.
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Geeez ! Why dont the two of us just get a room already ?.........7ish good for you ?
Would that make you a normal couple?
No one is normal here.
Except Saruburioz and his wife, allegedly!
Yeah, and they're the odd balls here.
Which one of them has them, do you think?
The wife.
I think he's the one that got conned.
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Geeez ! Why dont the two of us just get a room already ?.........7ish good for you ?
Would that make you a normal couple?
No one is normal here.
Except Saruburioz and his wife, allegedly!
Yeah, and they're the odd balls here.
Which one of them has them, do you think?
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Geeez ! Why dont the two of us just get a room already ?.........7ish good for you ?
Would that make you a normal couple?
No one is normal here.
Except Saruburioz and his wife, allegedly!
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Geeez ! Why dont the two of us just get a room already ?.........7ish good for you ?
Would that make you a normal couple?
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Ollie,
Congratulations and good luck.
Things look clearer after you've met the inlaws, family and rest of the village, don't they? I thinks that it's important to remember that you are becoming part of a family, not just running off with their daughter. Your wife is probably part of the wage-earning generation in that family and so, now, are you. Your prime responsibility is towards your wife but you also share her responsibility for helping the family. This is true at least in the case of poorer families.
It's also important to respect their traditions, even if you don't fully understand them. If you watch closely, you will see similarities between many Thai customs and western ones. The issue of sin sod vexes many farang and you have dealt with it very well. The family has acted honourably in finding a way around the problem and you were right to hold back until you were comfortable with what was going on. I also think that you are right to say that you will help further when it's right for you to do so. Be prepared for surprises , though. For example, if an aging relative needs hospital treatment that costs money and the family is strapped for cash, as husband of daughter you will be expected to help. If they don'y ask, consider offering something anyway.
Buying or building a house is a whole new adventure. Many farang will point out that you can't own the land and so, in the event of a divorce, you can whistle goodbye to the money that you have put into it. But wouldn't the little lady be morally entitled to something if you split up? Hang on to your property back home and then it's not an issue. She would have hers and you would have yours. Rent out the old home and release equity to fund the Thai one if that works for you. Providing a good modern home for your wife will make you the most popular man in the family and your wife will feel that you've made made her a queen (although no Thai would utter such a phrase, of course!). If you don't think that she deserves it, stop now!
Again, good luck to both of you.
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After watching the replies to his post, Saraburioz has signed off. Perhaps the smell of all us Isaan loving types was too much for his delicate constitution.
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What I can't understand is all the guys who live in Thai villages. How on earth did they all meet their wives?
More importantly, why do they want to get married with this type of uneducated girl? Fair enough the guys who can speak Thai, but how many times have I seen a married couple speaking in sign language. Are these guys not embarassed to have been conned by such uneducated girls. How can they travel in Thailand, don't they know that all other Thais are laughing at them? Especially the ones who marry Isarn girls who are 10 years younger than them.
I met my wife when travelling in Italy.
Thai people can tell a mile off when a foreigner is with an ex-hooker. That is why us normal couples get such a bad time in Thailand, due to these idiots that get conned by farmers daughters.
Welcome to the Forum, Saraburioz. Not a great way to make friends but perhaps you can redeem yourself by sharing with us your definition of 'normal couple'.
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My wife was friends with a girl who ran an introduction agency and was hanging around her office. Her friend asked her to make a video just for fun. She did, just walking up and down. I visited, saw the video, arranged a meeting.
It actually took place on her birthday. She said little, I thought she wasn't much interested but asked for a second date anyway, and she said yes and brought the friend along as a confidence booster. Her friend was much more outgoing and got my wife into the spirit of the evening.
We married two weeks to the day after meeting, and are in our 14th year. She worked in Tokyu at Siam Square at the time, but immediately joined my on my trek around the world as a tennis reporter, beginning in California.
After 18 months she got tired of the constant travel, and it was getting expensive, so we based ourselves in London for a year. I decided that wasn't fair on her while I was travelling, so we moved to Bangkok. No regrets about that. I hadn't lived full-time in the UK since the mid-80's anyway so I didn't miss anything. Except decent fish and chips and twiglets.
BB,
That's got to be the best story so far! Congratulations on 14 years after such a short courtship. We met in much the same way and got married after 2 months. That was 8 months ago so it will take us a while to catch up with you.
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Thaipwriter,
Thanks for your reply. I'll PM you.
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Although this thread has little direct relevance to Thailand there is a connection through friends and relatives there and with the pain of loss suffered so recently by so many people last December. The ripples of grief and anguish have spread far from London. Perhaps, therefore, the Administrators will allow the thread to continue for a while for those who would like to contribute their thoughts and experiences.
I was one of many lucky ones but the events of that day have affected me and mine deeply. My train into Kings Cross station was late and so I was on a tube train a couple behind my usual one. On a straightforward morning journey I might well have been on the train that blew up at Aldgate.
We were asked to leave our train at Barbican because of a major power surge that had caused an explosion ahead of us. I heard the truth later in my office after I had walked past the cordons, police and firefighters at Liverpool Street and Aldgate. The street outside the office was closed because of an abandoned car. We could not leave except by a rear door and the police eventually suggested that we go away from the area. I started walking at 3.30pm in the direction of Finsbury Park where I might get a train home. The route was crossed by large cordons at the same stations that I had passed in front of that morning. The atmosphere was strangely calm. Some people walked, others were in cabs, some stood looking and others were in the bars and cafes. But there was no laughter, no smiling and no hurrying. It felt as though the whole world was dying so it was OK to do whatever we wanted. Eventually, I found a free cab and was taken to the 300+ queue at Finsbury Park where I managed to catch a train.
So, so lucky but I still think about the distress caused to those who tried to contact me. My son was in a meeting in Germany when he heard the news. Apart from me, he has 15 good friends from his schooldays who work in the City of London. Mobile networks were inoperable for most of the time and he was at his wits end before he got through to everyone. The boyfriend of an ex-work colleague of his is still not accounted for. My daughter too was beside herself with worry for 2 hours. Friends have 'phoned and emailed since to make sure that I am safe.
My wife is in LOS just now. I decided not to call her because I thought that she would not hear the news so soon and a call from to tell her that I was OK would have started her worrying. I was so wrong. She did see the news on TV and could not contact me until after 5pm when I was in the taxi. She and her family had tried all day to contact me and feared the worst. It was at that moment, safe and relaxed and hearing her distress that my feelings finally erupted through tears.
We plan to build a house in LOS and I have to decide whether to stop work early and live on a much reduced income over there. My own mild experience and lucky escape that day has added a new dimension to the equation.
I can't know for sure how people who did suffer loss and injury that day feel. For my part I have not, perhaps suprisingly, felt any anger towards the bombers. I do feel some anger towards those who were behind them and towards the political and other world leaders who have created the fearful situation in which we now live. The bombers must, I think, have been brainwashed in the proper sense of the word. It is the only explanation that I can see for their ability apparently to live double lives. So, I cannot even find it in myself to blame or hate them.
So often I tell myself and others that we must each make the most of each day because we don't know whether we shall have tomorrow. Perhaps it's time for me to put my preaching into practice.
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I'm looking for a lawyer to help with land purchase. The one that we know struggles with English and it's driven me up the wall and half way round Laos trying to understand him and get answers to my questions.
So, if any member can recommend a lawyer who knows his stuff, speaks English well, will take care of farang's interests and is in or close to Korat, please let me know.
Ta,
A Little Dark Blue Booklet
in General Topics
Posted
And remember passport, a few baht, everyone who lives with you, bottles of water, a book to read and a cushion to put between you and the wooden seat. It can be a long wait in there on a slow day.
Keep the book safe. It's very important!