tomazbodner

A girl comes to the dentist, sits on the chair visibly frightened and says: Doctor, I am so afraid I would rather deliver a baby than have my tooth drilled into.... Make up your mind, so I know how to adjust the chair!

Husband is comfortably sitting in a recliner, watching TV... Wife asks him to fix the kitchen faucet, as it's leaking. "I'm not a plumber!" A few days later, she asks him if he could replace the light bulb in the living room. "I'm not an electrician!" A few days later he returns from work and notices that tap is fixed and light bulb replaced. "Did you hire a technician to fix them?" "No, Frank our neighbour fixed them both" "And how much did he charge you for it?" "Nothing. He asked me to either bake him a cake or have sex with him" "And, did you bake him a cake?" "I'm not a bloody baker!"

A cop walks up to the theatre ticket counter and asks for 2 tickets. For "Romeo and Juliet"? No, for me and my wife...

Johnny was very bored in Heaven so he complains to God.... How is it possible that it's so boring here?! God thinks for a moment and says, maybe that's because I have no sense of time. One minute or a thousand years is all the same to me. What about 1000 Dollars? Pittance. Like 10 Cents, I don't have sense of money worth either. Great! Can you loan me 1000 Dollars then? Sure! Just a minute...

Husband watching a health related TV show all of a sudden blurts out to his wife: Darling, if I am every in a vegetative state, depending on machines and liquids to keep me alive, please promise me you would unplug them all and let me go.... Without a word, wife stands up, snaps beer from his hand and turns off the TV...

Blonde journal: A year ago I bought these superb windows with some special coated glass. They quiet the noise from outside, keep the heat so well I've saved a lot of money on bills. They are just awesome, and all would have been great if I didn't get the call from the company that installed them, telling me a year has passed and windows still aren't paid for... I had to remind them that when buying the windows, their sales rep told me that these windows are so good they pay for themselves within a year! A year has passed! I may be a blonde, but I am not stupid!! There was just silence from the other end... The man must have felt like an id!ot...

What's the most beautiful feeling in the World? asks the teacher... Being in bed with a beautiful woman, says Johnny. Aren't you ashamed of yourself, you dirty minded brat! I'm informing your father! Next day, teacher asks Johnny... so what did your father say after getting my note? He agreed with me, says Johnny, but he also said that if you disagree with me, I should be very careful around you!

Young stork is crying in the nest and mother calms him down by saying that father is bringing joy to the people, and he'll be back soon. Next day, young stork is crying again, and father calms him down by saying that mother is out, bringing joy to the people and she'll be back soon. The day after, young stork is gone. Parents frantically try to find him without success. Finally, in the evening, the kid returns, glowing of happiness. Where the hell were you?!!! Flew past monasteries, scared them to death....

Arriving at Millennium Residence towers, delivery guys found out that the closet they were delivering to top floor won't fit in the lift. So they decided to take it up by the stairs. After nearly an hour, the older man says to younger man at the front to go up and see how many floors are left to go... Nearly sooner than he left the young man is back and says: Well, I have some good news and some bad news.... What is it? We're nearly at the top of the building, only 3 floors left... What's the bad news then? We're in the wrong tower...

2 cops talking..... I just bought a toilet brush... And? I don't know... I still prefer toilet paper...

An American bloke sets off to buy a castle in Scotland. After the tour of the premise, he asks the seller if the place haunted by any ghosts... Absolutely not, reassures the seller. I haven't seen a single one of them in 500 years I live here...

If J&T is a problem for you, better never try Ninja Van. My package was sitting in their warehouse for weeks, finally after countless connects to seller and platform, the box was delivered, all banged up. I now cancel order if I see they are delivery partner or rather ask the juristic not to accept the box and send it back to seller, whatever penalties I need to pay.

He got it all wrong. That were the numbers on his prisoner uniform...

SunExpress Airlines - https://www.sunexpress.com/ Used to fly with them. Didn't get any snakes in meal and thought they weren't bad at all. It's a joint venture of Lufthansa and Turkish Airlines.

Found something about fuel pump related recalls late 2021 from US, and it was a part manufactured by Denso, so it affects many different brands of car, not only Mazda. However seems car is even worse off after replacement than before it. See this: https://www.torquenews.com/1083/advice-mazda-cx-5-owners-about-deal-fuel-pump-recall

Usually backwards compatible but not necessarily supporting bands you need for your telecom.

OK, so all done is useless. Let me recommend that the bent cops get rehired into immigration. Joe Ferrari would be great in charge of annual extensions.