roo860

Look closely at the one on the Right... I Swear I Can see Kermit The Frog????????????

A drunk is stumbling through the woods when he comes upon a preacher baptizing people in the river. He proceeds into the water bumping into the preacher. The preacher turns around and is almost overcome by the smell of alcohol, whereupon, he asks the drunk, "Are you ready to find Jesus?" The drunk shouts, "Yes, I am." So the preacher grabs him and dunks him in the water. He pulls him back and asks, "Brother, have you found Jesus?" The drunk replies, "No, I haven't found Jesus!" The preacher, shocked at the answer, dunks him again but for a little longer. He again pulls him out of the water and asks, "Have you found Jesus, brother?" The drunk answers, "No, I haven't found Jesus!" By this time, the preacher is at his wits end and dunks the drunk again, but this time holds him down for about 30 seconds, and when he begins kicking his arms and legs about, he pulls him up. The preacher again asks the drunk, "For the love of God, have you found Jesus?" The drunk staggers upright, wipes his eyes, coughs up a bit of water, catches his breath, and says to the preacher, “Are you sure this is where he fell in?"

VID-20231009-WA0003.mp4

Well they stole her money before, scumbags.

A Scottish Soldier, in full dress uniform, marches into a pharmacy. Very carefully he opens his sporran and pulls out a neatly folded cotton bandana, unfolds it to reveal a smaller silk square handkerchief, which he also unfolds to reveal a condom. The condom has a number of patches on it. The chemist holds it up and eyes it critically. "How much to repair it?' The Scot asks the chemist. "Six pence" says the chemist. "How much for a new one?" "Ten pence" says the chemist. The Scot painstakingly folds the condom into the silk square handkerchief and the cotton bandana, replaces it carefully in his sporran, and marches out of the door, shoulders back and kilt swinging. A moment or two later the chemist hears a great shout go up outside, followed by an even greater shout. The Scottish soldier marches back into the chemists and addresses the proprietor, this time with a grin on his face. "The regiment has taken a vote," he says. "We'll have a new one."

Nice shoes