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Usually, the situations I hear about like this have the Thai wife living in Thailand while the Farang is away working. Then she gets the "best" of both worlds. She gets money and income and probably a decent place to live, yet in familiar surroundings. However, I do know many that went to live abroad and just couldn't assimilate into the life there. Usually not a neighborhood she was used to or could walk around, such as in a small town like Pattaya or others. Can't drive, few friends etc.

I just urge caution on exiting this. It still sounds a bit off that she would give up room and board and money. Not unheard of, but a bit rarer, especially without some money or assets being involved. In general, get her out of your country ASAP and home. Don't want her filing for divorce or claiming abuse or whatever while in your house. Many times the police or other agencies come and you are out on the street while they "investigate".

Best wishes.

Well, I told her and she agrees that she does need to visit home more and it is my fault that I didn't think of that first. I think she needs to visit home at least twice a year besides when she is there with me.

UPDATE: Now my wife does not want a divorce. she said that she felt I was ignoring her and that I must have found a girl over here. Not likely I told her. She just wants more attention, emails and phone calls and wants to talk on yahoo messenger. I guess she just overreacted. She says she is sorry for acting crazy but is my fault because I don't talk or email enough. I have never been one for small talk on the phone so I guess I have to work on that. Thanks for all your advice and we both will be back in Thailand in September.

That's great news i'm happy for you.

I'm currently in the UK & make some small talk to my misses everyday we talk for an average of 40 minutes a day though we do have business to disuse, i'm not sure if access to long use of the phone in the army is an issue as i would think you would get free use per day but if its of interest to you there's a great VoIP service which for an initial small fee you can call American mobile's & landlines for free with 300 free minutes per week then only 1 Euro cents per minute after that,also she could use the same service to chat for long calls to her family in Thailand & yes you both can use the same account.

The link is attached if you want to take a look, & keep up with that small talk mate she obviously loves you & misses you so keep in touch daily if you can.

I just found that we have something similar to that here on the base called SpaWare for the phone. For $25 you get 10hrs. Also, I asked her to download skype and I think we can talk for free, yes? Thanks for your advice. I promised that I would try to talk to her at least every other day.

Voipdiscount

moral of the story............

dont deal with drugs in Thailand ! period.........

Haven't these idiots seen enough movies and heard enough stories to avoice being this stupid? I think this is how the gods weed out the stupid.

Why did you leave her alone her in the US, away from family and Thai speaking friends?

How do you know that? Did I miss something? I dont remember the OP saying that she had no Thai speaking friends in US.

Yes, there were friends she could talk to but were a ways away by car. We had two asian markets with Thai food that she can go to. Anyway, we both overreacted and she was afraid that I didn't like her anymore. Some of you have great info like this guy here but others are complete bitter <deleted>.

By the sound of it she is well shot of you ,,,,,,,reading your post indicates to me and anyone else reading it with more than 2 brain cells you are married to your work not your wife,,,,,,,,,IF you loved her , which by the casual way you are happy to let her go you obviously dont , then you would jack that poxy job in ad live well within your means with work at home. You ask no help here about saving your marriage ,, just how quickly you can get divorced.. Good luck to your missus ,, sorry no sympathy from me.

Wow, that is rather harsh! People live in different ways, and just because that doesn't fit your notion of what life is like, that does not mean love doesn't exist.

I was married and spent long periods of time deployed in the military, to include a tour in Iraq, and I hardly think that meant I did not love my wife.

A rather stupid reply ( you was a soldier in Iraq ) well done for that ,, BUT you had NO choice about it ,,,,,,,,,,he is working there by choice ,,,,,,, he obviously thinks more of the money he can earn there than his wife , which he is apparently happy to let go so easily

You, sir, are a complete idiot. THIS is my job, to support the military and make their life a little eaier and to improve the lives of the Iraqi people. I believe you are what is most commonly known on this forum as a "troll"? Considering the job market in most of the world it would be rather stupid and selfish of me to quit this one and hope I find one in the states. I'm sorry my income is six times the size of yours and you feel you have to belittle me for it. But I am making a difference in my job, trying to improve the lot of the soldier and average Iraqi citizen that is caught up in this mess. I would not sympathy from you, the only thing I require from you is go bugger yourself. You are pathetic. Everybody else, thanks.

UPDATE: Now my wife does not want a divorce. she said that she felt I was ignoring her and that I must have found a girl over here. Not likely I told her. She just wants more attention, emails and phone calls and wants to talk on yahoo messenger. I guess she just overreacted. She says she is sorry for acting crazy but is my fault because I don't talk or email enough. I have never been one for small talk on the phone so I guess I have to work on that. Thanks for all your advice and we both will be back in Thailand in September.

i keep reading on here ,guys saying that their wives are lazy,or are only interested in talking with their mates ,watch thai soaps all day ect ,ect. well ime worried that my wife is not a normal Thai .she gets up early ,is constantly cleaning and doing the garden never ever watches Thai soaps and the only Thai programs she watches is the Royal news at 8pm.

she has Thai female friends but rarely sees them because she doesnt like the fact that they" just talk about rubbish" her words.

ime starting to worry ,is she normal

p.s she isnt some ugly old crone either,so its not that .

My wife is the same, and all the women in her family are the same way...constantly cleaning every bit of the house. She does like to watch Thai soaps even though she admints they are the same and end the same. Poor thai girl falls in love with rich thai man, poor thai girl gets slapped around alot by mean rich thai girl, poor thai girl and rich thai man end up together.

I am afraid I have seen this sort of thing in the UK over the years. My conclusion is that farang guys just don't consider that Thai women will be like fish out of water in the west. Just consider how your home town differs from Thailand, the food, the weather, and everything else. Also bear in mind nearly everyone is happy in Thailand. In the UK especially misery is the order of the day not happiness. I would never seriously consider bringing an Asian lady back to this depressing hole.

Like I wrote earlier, we were going to buy land and build a house in her home province. Heck, I was going to expat myself there. I think she wants to live like a young girl again.

The easiest way is an Administrative Divorce, and takes only a few minutes if you both agree. All you have to do is go to any district office in Thailand. Take the marriage certificates, her ID card, and your passport, and voila! You are a bachelor again.

Good luck. Have some well earned time off when you get the chance and enjoy ...

I think the good luck part has been thrown out. Yes, she may have to wait until September. What a terrible way to spend my vacation time. I thought of avoiding Thailand for awhile but if I fly there for the paperwork I guess I would have to stay. Just have to find something to do. Have never been much of a manwhore, god knows I could make good money if I did, so maybe see some of the sights I haven't seen yet.

Dont mean to be harsh but leaving your wife alone for many many months at a time is bound to lead to problems no?

This is what I do. I get paid rather well to work in crap-holes. She knew this when I married to her and I explained that this was our life for the next several years.

It's quite common for Thai husbands and wives to be separated by work commitments, but then the wife is usually amongst friends and family in a Thai village.

I hope thinks work out ok for you.

We shall see. One of my friends who works in Saudi says he will call her tonight and explain that he could never contact me on yahoo messenger because of downloading problems or blocked by the military server.

Doing the papers through the mail sounds like a good idea but what happens if she spends all the money you give her then tells you she wants more before she files the papers. I think better to hold back funds and go to Thailand and finalize divorce before giving funds. Give her a few bucks for living on till you arrive in September with the understanding she will get more when papers filed.

Don't give up on Thailand but do learn from your mistakes. Next time around don't marry someone you haven't lived with at least two years. Also forget about having a long distant relationship with a gf or wife.

We knew each other for almost a year before we got married. All my relationships are long-distance considering where I work.

Sound like there should be more to this story, "she think you are cheating on her"(??) I wonder what's really up with her>

Maybe she feels she is missing out on her life as she doesn't get to do much where she is in the states. Maybe she wants to go to discos and party with her friends and misses that life-style. She wants her own food, her family, ect.

Dont mean to be harsh but leaving your wife alone for many many months at a time is bound to lead to problems no?

Not necessarily

I am working offshore and get home twice a year.

I was doing the same thing when I first met her 15 years ago.

She knew what I did then and understands that is the way some people work.

I know of many people, Farangs, Thais, Filippinos who do the same and have done for many years.

Most of us are lucky but some sadly are not.

Besides which the divorce rate in western countries is high even when there is no family separation.

Maybe I should visit the Phillipines? Again, she understans this what I do. I am lousy sitting behind a desk in posh cirucumstances. If there ain't a chance for mortars than I get bored.

I will probably have to stay away from Thailand for awhile, which is a shame. Oh well, to be a bachelor again. Don't know what I would do there just being by myself.

Erm.. i think you'll find that most single men have no trouble finding things to do...

Jokes aside, sorry to hear your news. Guess the only way to think though is how lucky you are that you hadn't invested even more time, money and emotion into something that wasn't rock solid. Lucky escape i say. Best of luck to you.

I thought it was rock-solid. Maybe she is just too young, I am 38 she is 25, and feels trapped, losing her youth whatever. While it might be fun to live the bacherlor's life again, I kinda wanted to start a family. I don't know if it such a good idea to have one with a thai wife, maybe I am just to Farang for them....

If she has your address she can send the divorce papers to you, you can (once translated and comfortable with the agreement) sign and send back. Job done.

That might be the way to go. Marriage #2 down the drain. Christ, I'm like my dad now.

Why can`t you continue to visit or live in Thailand I don`t see why it should be like that?

I don't know if I want to get involved with another thai woman. Sooner or later that would be an issue, I think. Just something I have to ponder I think. Kinda depressing building a house and only me to live in it.

It will depend on where ou live, where you divorce. If both of you continue to live in the US you will probably have to divorce under your US state law.

If your wife returns to Thailand, you can probably get a divorce in Thailand. The easy part about Thailand is that you can get a divorce if both parties agree in no time. Then it is just signing the papers at the ampur and you are divorced.(You will need to bring both original marriage certificates).

Any arrangements you make can be registered and made official when you register your divorce. No lawyers needed. If theree are assets to be split I would recommend to use a lawyer.

If your wife wants a quick divorce you will have something to bargain with, as unless you both agree to the divorce you can only get a divorce in Thailand on the grounds mentioned in the law.

Yes, she wants to head back to Thailand. She kind of made the comment about finding someone else...ouch, eh? I will probably give her money so she isn't penniless and will fly her back. I have to figure another place to vacation to in September!!! I was going to expat my self in Thailand but might have to find another loca....maybe Rome?

You dont need a lawyer. Just meet your wife in BKK and go to the Amphur with passport and marriage docs and sign some papers and viola..its done!

Make sure those papers are translated into english (unless you read fluent thai) before you sign them. You will need a good friend who can translate or a lawyer. The amphur will not tell you what you are agreeing to. Exercise caution.

Good luck

I have a canadien buddy who speaks thai and reads it somewhat well.

Dont mean to be harsh but leaving your wife alone for many many months at a time is bound to lead to problems no?

This is what I do. I get paid rather well to work in crap-holes. She knew this when I married to her and I explained that this was our life for the next several years.

Mate, I would be making sure she hasn't got her eye on any of your US assets.

For a Thai women to be asking for a divorce just before she was going to get a house built for her sounds very strange.

Of course I don't know anything of your circumstances but I would be making sure my flank was secure before moving forward.

Good luck dude.

She was never like that and always did well with our money. Besides, she can't touch my assets unless I give the bank permission and I have all the passwords in me head.

Believe me, I have left reserves to my rear ready to double-time and have pickets on both flanks. My calvary is trailing the pickets....

You dont need a lawyer. Just meet your wife in BKK and go to the Amphur with passport and marriage docs and sign some papers and viola..its done!

That would be easy except that I can't get out of work until September, our first allowed vacation. Plus, getting out of here without manifesting way can be a bit tricky.

...And, no, I wasn't cheating on her. If you have ever worked in Iraq you can see how that would be hard to accomplish. She thinks I was yahoo messenging someone. Tried to explain that our computer sytems uses a military server and that any type of chat or iming is blocked. Again, I just thinks she wants to part ways.

I just found out by email last night that my wife wants a divorce. I work in Iraq while my wife, she is Thai, is living with my father in the U.S., she was working on her permanent resident card. She thinks that I am cheating on her but I think she is using that excuse because she wants to go home or is tired of me. Oh well not much I can do from The Sandbox. I tried to convince her by phone and email but to no avail and she knows that I can't leave work now.

My question is this: we were legally married in Thailand, paperwork and all, and so can I use a thai lawyer to draw up divorce papers? Any ideas on that from anyone? I am flying her back to Thailand next week so I would like to get this ball rolling. Any ideas about where I should look for such a lawyer. Any advice is welcomed.

We were going to buy land and start building a house in September but that idea seems to have been shot down. I even wanted to own a small business there in the future one day. I will probably have to stay away from Thailand for awhile, which is a shame. Oh well, to be a bachelor again. Don't know what I would do there just being by myself.

Again, I will take serioisly any good advice and only half-seriously bad advice. Thanks

LOL not related to anything bad Thaksin did (except pay his protestors) but too funny.

Well, if you are going to get professional protesters you have to pay them...otherwise they are amateurs...or play in college...one of those.

Can someone explain, please?

it is KFC versus ?????

KFC (the always popular finger lickin' good choice (BTW, had a girlfriend once that I called KFC ...)) is of course using chemical warfare with their secret ingredients.

But who is their opposition McDonalds, MK, or the guerrillas of the Barbecue restaurants (their colour is Heineken green and their frontline troops, well .., I must admit wanting to fraternise with the enemy!).

My wife says she likes McDonald's chiken better!!!! But, again, I love those chicken pita thingies. So, are my wife and I on opposite sides of the conflict?