jing jing

Hmmmmmmmm...... I'm wondering if I should join the long list of mail brides to be.

Now why in the world would you wanna do something like that?

Nice pics BTW... thanks for sharing.

I'm almost 100 percent sure you're female now... just a tiny bit more evidence required...

There's a dude from Chicago living up in my neck of the woods in Isaan. Big burly ex-cop, real top fella. He just opened a pizza joint... thank Buddha he's making New York style thin crust pies, not that doughy deep dish "Chicago style" crapola.

Other than the pizza and the baseball team I reckon Chicago's a crackin little town, so welcome to the LOS boichik from Chi-town... and you can leave those sausages at home because once you find your way around here you'll realize they've got some bloody rippin good sausages all over the place. If you don't like the Thai style ones (and how could you not?) you can always go to a German beer garden or (as a last resort) a British pub and find your sausages there.

Hey crazy,

don't mind these guys, most of them are brits and their humor is hard to understand.

Jaidee means good heart in Thai.

I remember those Vienna hot dogs. Nothing like that in LOS.

I live in Pattaya. What will you be doing in BKK, or are you just coming for a vacation?

Barry

jes---us bloody christ barry,

look im real sorry about this,

but cricky's mate ,

if you ever once again compare a true blue aussie champion fella, like my self , with a brit,

your in big frigging trouble mate,

so,

id bloody watch out what i was telling all these punters on the forum.

any way,

i'll have one off your hot dogs, as they sound <deleted> hot to me.

bye bazza.

jeezus h. keerist my top learn'd mate,

if you'd get off your back bottom and put the brain matter in gear im sure you'd agree

there's only a few minor differences 'twixt ozzies and poms

ozzies got better suntans

ozzies know the proper name for that game called soccer

and ozzies aren't overly burdened with brain matter in their cranial cavity, just take our top little ripper donzie for example

glad i could set your crackin ozzie self straight on this important matter

and cheers to your newly edified self old mate

and by the way my top humorous self will be crashing you pissup, if i can find bloody rambutan road from the upcountry bleedin village where my countrified self is currently residing

donZIE! donZIE! donZIE!

2000 posts in just a few short months... you go, girlfriend!!

and not a single emoticon in any one of them (maybe those little critters are just as confusing to the Donzie as the quote function?)

Pretty much spot on, the dude.

There's certainly a 'land's end' aspect to Bangkok for a great many of the foreigners who are drawn here. San Francisco has always had a high suicide rate forexactly the same reason.

People head west, literally or metaphorically, seeking salvation for wasted lives. When all they find there is pretty much the same thing they thought they had left behind, they go off the end of the pier.

RIP

If they DO make it through Bangkok, then there is an extension that leads to the end of the line ... Sihanoukville, Cambodia ... the elephants graveyard .......!

I've never had the slightest indication to go there, but now you have me intrigued. A worse end-of-the-line hole than Bangkok or even (shudder) Pattaya? Man, I got to see that.

You call yourself "Old Asia Hand" yet reckon that Bangkok or Pattaya are as bad as it gets? Methinks a change of handle is in order, 'cause they don't even begin to rate on the list of desperate Asian shyteholes in which a man could lose himself. Sometimes that anti-Thai chip on your shoulder seems so big it's impossible for you to see around it.

People get depressed and commit suicide all over the world. At least in Bangkok you can find what you need to make your last night pleasurable and a balcony high enough to do the job.

Pedo ... nope

Unfortunate typo there... I hope!

But if the OP had simply said "waitresses" instead of "ladies" then I would agree that it doesn't sound like a girlie bar, but as posted the implication was clearly that the ladies did more than just wait tables. I mean if they were just waitresses, why bother to mention their beauty or lack thereof? Sometimes you gotta read between the lines...

I find this a very interesting topic because as another poster alluded to, it's about being human. Succeeding in business is down to the law of the jungle, survival of the fittest, whatever cliche is most appropriate to describe the competitive struggle that takes place when people's livelihoods are at stake.

I get the feeling the OP seriously underestimated the challenge of opening a booze and sex oriented (borderline mafia-controlled) business in a highly competitive area, in a foreign country where he may not fully understand the language or the cultural differences, possibly without having spent sufficient time running or managing a similar business before.

He is being tested by the locals. His initial friendliness, generosity, and compliant nature was probably interpreted as weakness. Now they are taking simple steps designed to make his life unpleasant enough that he will simply give up, turn tail and run. He is getting ridden out of town on a rail.

As I said, respect needs to be earned, it can't be bought by free internet and use of motorbikes. Give things away for free in that environment and you will get chewed up and spit out in a New York minute.

Berate the Thais all you want but it won't change the law of the jungle, and if you think you could open up a similar business in a resort town anywhere else in the world and not get tested in a very similar way then you just don't understand business. It's not personal -- it's just business.

Right... the other option is to tough it out, using a clever combination of business savvy, street smarts, and Thai-style diplomacy to keep the animosity down and the money trickling in. You can't expect everyone else to adapt to your expectations of how they should behave, because you're playing in their sandbox now. If you could somehow manage to make a total attitude adjustment there is probably an outside chance you'd survive, maybe even prosper. In order to do that, though, you'd need to earn people's respect rather than their hatred, jealousy, and scorn.

... The sentence was commuted from death because they had pleaded guilty, judge Sarayuth Busayanawin said.

I believe this is the proper way to handle a guilty plea. As despicable as the crime itself was, there is nothing worse in my opinion than an obviously guilty defendant who denies to his dying day having committed any crime at all. There needs to be some incentive for these animals to admit their crime, save society the burden of a trial, and give the family of the victim some "closure."

JMO, of course.

Mark, your story replicates one in Chaweng, it was managed by a friend.

What did you do prior to purchasing the bar?

It sounds like you didn't use due diligence.

ie: sit in and outside the bar for 3-6 weeks prior to purchase.

*******************

PS, ignore The Donzo, he has spent a total of 6 weeks in 6 months in Thailand and is now an expert on all things Thai, oh, I forgot, he has a Thai GF in Sydney.

Really, what on earth gave you the idea you could successfully run a girlie bar in Lamai in the first place? Had you not heard about the locals' attitude toward foreigners on Samui prior to purchasing this "business?" Are you not aware of the ratio in Thailand of successful farang bar owners to failures?

Of all the businesses to get involved with, and of all the places to choose to start a business, you seem to have chosen the one most certainly guaranteed to come to grief.

I would imagine your problems are just beginning, and are much more likely to get progressively worse than go away.

Sorry for the negative post, but there's not really much else to be said other than cut your losses and get out while the getting's good.

Why is she half naked

my thoughts exactly

*because she knows she is hot and enjoys the attention, obviously*

You gotta love the little farang girls when they are 20, naive and still think the world works in gentle ways.

what does this have to do with being farang?

*because in general thai people (even young naive ones) are more concerned with feeding their own family than curing the world's ills, and in general they have a more fatalistic view of life than do farangs.*

..He is normally a very careful guy and doesnt do anything on a spur i am totally taken aback by him with all this ,,,He just seems like a completely different person since coming back last time ...I dont know whats wrong with him !!!

Thailand fever. Mainly Thai women, who will make a middle aged western male (with a few quid in his pocket) feel like a teenage Superman again... anything is possible and nothing bad can happen because he's a big boy and knows all the scams already (uh-huh ).

Big wake up call coming somewhere down the line... get ready to help pick up the pieces (or not) when the inevitable happens.

Crikey, that's a right bloody shame, especially with a young family and all... always found his show entertaining and his personality most amusing... couldn't help but wonder, though, when his brazen approach to dealing with dangerous animals might have serious consequences.

As others have said he went out doing what he loved, and I reckon he wouldn't have had it any other way.

G'day and RIP Steve Irwin

Get real. There's nowhere in Thailand you can build a large house for 100,000 baht.

Yes you can..... of course you can.

You just need to listen to the Thais.

I listened to "the Thais" and the wall around my property ended up costing over 100,000 baht. I'm not sure what your Thais are saying but cement, blocks, and steel ain't free. I once heard about an emperor who had some very beautiful new clothing, at least according to the people he listened to...

If you believe as I do that, in general, women end up with the wealthiest man they can attract and men end up with the most attractive woman they can afford, then you may agree that this cross-cultural marriage phenomenon is potentially a good deal for all parties concerned. Normally these Isaan lasses, beautiful as some may be, would have little hope of attracting a Thai man with as much funding as the average expat farang, and by the same token the average expat farang would have little hope back home of being able to afford a woman as young and attractive as their Isaan bride. The issue of compatibility is bound to rear its ugly head at some point of course, but that is true of intracultural marriages as well and judging by the statistics it's not such a bad gamble to try the cross cultural gig on for size.

Incidentally, 100,000 baht will barely buy the airconditioning units for my village farang castle. It's a good thing the other villagers aren't comfortable at 22 degrees or I'd probably have lots more guests.

I vote for a prompt closing of this topic. All workable options have been put on the table, we know it was Colonel Mustard in the library with a candlestick, all thats left now as they say is the crying. Tip is a big boy and knows what to do from here, and in any event is not in need of any further advice. It is getting difficult to resist making flame posts at this point.

Cheers Tip -- I hope you find a relatively quick and painless resolution to the situation.

Divulging your arrival date is a big mistake IMO Tip. If possible, tell the wife you're coming at least a month or two later than you actually are, or not at all. It's time to switch from martyr to Machiavelli, toot sweet.

I also wonder about the rationale for leaving a computer with critical business information behind while going on an 8 month business trip, but at this point in the thread nothing should surprise me anymore.

... Qualtrough, I understand where you're coming from. Do you think I've not been there myself? Many times? It doesn't take backbone to feel contempt. It takes backbone to feel love despite it all. That can seem to be the toughest road to take, but it gets easier the more you do it. I want peace of mind. Hatred, contempt, jealousy, anger, spite, vengefulness - none of that will get you there, or at least it hasn't worked well for me.

Besides, it is a good question? Thousands of good deeds cancelled out by a single misdeed? Doesn't make sense to want to do that. Remember the love, the good times, the happiness. Spending time wretching over the <deleted> isn't worth it. Not to me.

Love and hate aren't the only two choices, Tip. The one you neglected to mention is the one that I believe makes the most sense in your situation: indifference. Why keep an emotional attachment to someone who has committed such an egregious act of deception against you? Anger isn't constructive but one can carry the good-guy martyr act a little too far at some point. I suppose that's up to you... whatever lets you sleep easy at night.

Tip, I'm very sorry to read that the worst case scenario for your relationship seems to have been realized. Many of us here on this forum can all say in unison, "there but for the grace of God go I..." This is far from an isolated occurance here in the Land of Smiles, but unfortunately rather more the normal course of events. I don't mean to paint all Thais with the same brush of being deceptive, selfish opportunists but so many of those ladies we farangs have access to are cut from a similar cloth.

I have one child with my Thai partner and another on the way and am planning to build a house on her land, but by no stretch of the imagination would I ever expose more of my assets or emotional capital than I am prepared to walk away from. My kids I will never walk away from, but partner and property - I must be realistic - are one short step away from being written off forever if things go awry.

I will join with the others who have said that the worst thing you can do if all the allegations prove true is to hold out hope for a reconcilation. Please pardon my shouting, but UNDER NO CIRCUMSTANCES SHOULD YOU CONTINUE ANY RELATIONSHIP WITH THIS WOMAN WHATSOEVER, PERIOD, END OF STORY. She has violated your trust in the worst possible way - the same trust that was so important to you that you would actually have hesitated to hire a PI to ascertain the truth - and no matter what good times may have been shared in the past they are but distant memories at this point, overshadowed completely by a major league betrayal.

If possible I would put an end to things without ever personally speaking another word to her (others can do that for you), and without allowing her to have another penny of your hard-earned money beyond what is already lost. I wouldn't do anything malicious -- just a clean, hard cut with no emotions shown and no quarter given. That is exactly what this situation calls for: kick her to the curb. Move on. NEXT!

Tip, you seem to be what our buddy Terry57 might call a real top fella, and I can't imagine you having much trouble finding a much more suitable woman with whom to share and enjoy your life... in fact I'm sure some forum members are probably already lining up candidates for you to choose from!

Cheers mate, and rest assured happier days lie ahead...

Tip, I hope you're getting a decent night's sleep over there so you can formulate a plan with a relatively clear head. It's important not to do anything rash like making a confrontational phone call. You aren't the sort to do that anyhow I reckon.

There've been enough responses now to see a general trend emerge regarding your best course of action, and that is pretty much overwhelmingly in favor of retaining a reputatable PI. It should go without saying that whoever you hire should be someone who comes highly recommended by folks with no dog in this fight.

Without belaboring the point regarding violating the trust in your relationship, remember the wise words: "Trust, but verify." Reagan was no brain surgeon but he did get a few things right.

'Nuff said...

After rereading the emails they really don't ring true based on the other background info you've shared, Tip. The question remains -- who would write them and why? Obviously whoever it is wants you to believe them and act upon them. I'm thinking, from a psychological point of view, it might be advantageous to respond to the effect that you don't believe them, trust your wife completely, and will not do anything at all based on anonymous emails. This may have the effect of prompting them to provide more information as proof of their veracity.

Just a thought...

Hi Tip,

First of all, sorry to hear about your predicament. We've never met but from reading your posts I get the feeling you're a real good fellow -- definitely not deserving of the sturm und drang going on at the moment.

At times like this it can be difficult to approach things from a purely logical point of view. Nevertheless I am wondering why you have this aversion to the idea of employing a private investigator. I mean, it's one thing to spy on your woman when there has been no reason whatsoever to suspect any wrongdoing, but ferchrissakes, you've just gotten the mother of all wake up calls over here and the next best thing to (or maybe even a better thing than) showing up yourself unannounced or having a close buddy check things out for you is hiring a pro to do the job properly and eliminate all doubt once and for all.

You've indicated that your plans for the future revolve around this individual and you've already made what sounds like a substantial investment, both emotional and financial, in the relationship... in my opinion it's a no-brainer that at this point there's really no better alternative than hiring a private eye and getting the truth ASAP.

When all is said and done, if it turns out to be a hoax but your wife learns you hired a PI to check her out, certainly after she sees the emails she'll understand why you had to do what you did.

Serious stuff, man... I sure hope you get to the bottom of this mystery and she comes up clean. Cheers Tip, and I wish you all the best.

Thanks, jing jing. Since it hasn't been 24 hours since I received the emails and since deciding to post my predicament on TV for advice I've still much to digest before I make any concrete plans on what my next step will be. I will call her first, though I'm not sure what I'll say yet, to see if there's anything unusual that I can ascertain from a phone conversation.

I'll give a little time to allow the sender of the emails to respond to my enquiries. If there's no progress or new developments then I tend to lean towards a PI or some of the offered help I've recieved via PMs. I'm also still waiting to see whether or not an IP trace can yield any results that might help me determine further the identity of the sender.

Once more, my heartfelt gratitude goes out to all you folks who've bothered to reply on this thread and via PMs and expressed your concern and/or offered assistance.

Sounds like a prudent course of action although I doubt there's anything you can learn through a phone conversation without arousing her suspicions, especially since you can't be too subtle in your probing due to her limited English.

If this story is true - and based on the information you've shared so far I wouldn't hazard a guess either way - time may not be on your side. At the very least you could begin to gather some information on prospective PI outfits, posthaste.

I can understand the Aussies problem-they are only 120 years old and still learning,but the rest of you!

That would be "Aussies'"...

Hi Tip,

First of all, sorry to hear about your predicament. We've never met but from reading your posts I get the feeling you're a real good fellow -- definitely not deserving of the sturm und drang going on at the moment.

At times like this it can be difficult to approach things from a purely logical point of view. Nevertheless I am wondering why you have this aversion to the idea of employing a private investigator. I mean, it's one thing to spy on your woman when there has been no reason whatsoever to suspect any wrongdoing, but ferchrissakes, you've just gotten the mother of all wake up calls over here and the next best thing to (or maybe even a better thing than) showing up yourself unannounced or having a close buddy check things out for you is hiring a pro to do the job properly and eliminate all doubt once and for all.

You've indicated that your plans for the future revolve around this individual and you've already made what sounds like a substantial investment, both emotional and financial, in the relationship... in my opinion it's a no-brainer that at this point there's really no better alternative than hiring a private eye and getting the truth ASAP.

When all is said and done, if it turns out to be a hoax but your wife learns you hired a PI to check her out, certainly after she sees the emails she'll understand why you had to do what you did.

Serious stuff, man... I sure hope you get to the bottom of this mystery and she comes up clean. Cheers Tip, and I wish you all the best.

The other thing to look out for is on the paperwork you need to submit to Fidelity it's specifically stated that funds can't be transferred into passbook savings accounts. I discussed the issue with a branch manager and we went ahead and filled in the forms anyway. I use Bangkok Bank, which also has a New York branch, and gave both the ABA number of that branch and the Swift code for my Siam Square BB branch in Thailand.

I still haven't tried to make a transfer from Fidelity yet because I only pay $3.00 to make internet transfers from Bank of America to Bangkok Bank...