wildewillie89

12 hours ago, bwpage3 said:

Chaiyaphum area many parents are uneducated and never had much schooling (farmers)

 

Isaan dialect is spoken which is not the same as Thai

 

All farangs that show up around that area are expected to be of some financial means. 

 

If there is no money to constantly help the family, this will never last and the mother will pressure the daughter constantly

 

As far as the farm, that is a region where sometimes there is no rain at all and you get zero crops.

 

Then you make zero money, family takes out loans from local sharks for more seeds to try again for the coming year.

 

Her family will now be the focus of everyone in the village to see what "riches and face" the farang will bring to the family.

 

Expect to have a large wedding and dowry. If you say they family does not want it, I say BS.

 

Marrying a farang and not getting any "face" will make her family the laughing stock of the village.

 

A friend of ours (Thai) got married in that area last week, my father is bitching how there was no cola or whiskey or enough food to eat. The whole village is pissed off.

 

Understand if you cannot financially help them, if you have any money at all, better use that to buy something that they can use to earn their own money.

 

A nice 2 wheeled tractor with a good sized wagon for hauling sugar cane, wood, etc that they can use to make a living

 

Expecting the farm to reap riches is foolishness. 

 

You have to really question a 40+ year old that knocks up a 20 year old? 

 

Not even married, not even far into a relationship and now with a kid on the way?

 

You get what you deserve in this life and I expect the Isaan people will win this one in the end

12 hours ago, bwpage3 said:

 

The large wedding as about the only thing I partly agree with here (especially if the family is well known). If not, i know of 3 or 4 farang here who had extremely small weddings just in the house/village....even the rain i cant agree on, the city just flooded and was closed off for a few days not long back lol. Surrounding areas are still flooded now a few months on. You know, it is Chaiyaphum, has rain season and winter too. It rained so much after the drought (that was experienced by a lot of Thailand) that the dams overflowed and flooded the city (closing off government buildings). Also many times the city was nearly closed off due to the government having to release water from the dams to prevent further overflowing. 

Not all Chaiyaphum people are 'uneducated'. My family consists of mayors, politicians, doctors, lawyers, government officials, teachers, army and police. If someone decides to choose an uneducated girl, then that is their issue, but dont classify a whole region as being predominantly 'uneducated'. If we are going to do that, then lets just classify the whole country excluding Bangkok ( re GDP expenditure on education around Thai). Which, i will happily agree on you with. This point then relates back to the money issue. If the family has decent jobs and are 'educated' they will bypass any want or need for money and will never ask you for it. I have been married for a year now with zero attempts of asking for money, in fact 2 rai of land was given to us to build on with the family always lending my wife and I money to finish off building our house (as homeloans are never enough and he doesnt want to use the money i have). 

This whole idea is the very reason it is hard to hang out with other 'farang' in Thai....they just all bitch and moan about it. Like come on, if you decide to marry a gold digger, isnt that your own fault? There is a hell of a lot of Thai women out there who will not want your money, and theyre not too hard to find. Sin sord now is the real test. Culture has changed ever so slightly with the new generation of Thais. 25-35 years old I have found will go in to bat for you about sin sord. It seems on talking within my circle of Thais, maybe 100-200 people over the last 5 years, that sin sord is the real test of gold digging amongst Thais. Of course, youll get the culture line (Thai guys pay it too bla bla), but the good ones will realise its a different culture theyre marrying into. For example, in my culture the woman's parents pay the wedding....so common sense will win out if the family is of any decency. 3 farang in my village, the other 2 very small weddings. 

Regarding the gossip, it is gossip lol. Thais generally move on from it very fast. Whether it is about a wedding or your hair cut. The village gossiped more about my hair being an inch too long than they did about the other farangs tiny wedding. That is just Thai people. Take gossip to heart and it is impossible to live here. 

I live in Chaiyaphum and am married. I ended up living with the in laws for 3 or 4 months. Just be completely honest, and say where your life is. I made my wife tell the family what parts of the culture ill do and what i will not do. I told her to tell them how much money I had, and the plans i had for the family. Also get a good friend of the mrs who is respected by her family to vouch for you...my father in law, being army, was more focused on if i could protect her or not rather than anything else. Took going down south to Yala to gain his trust, but i wouldnt recommend that haha.

Thai are pretty okay with things once youre in. Cousins, uncles, aunts, the whole family will have your back and help you out with anything, bring you food, take you places, whatever. If money, asking you to pay for stuff or something they can get off you is a focus then you know you have hit gold diggers. 

16 hours ago, iancnx said:

fair comment ww89, as I mentioned his juvenile approach would divert the less than avid viewer.  You are absolutely right about entrance exams and the woeful level set.  And I know of at least five English (Thai's) teacher who cannot speak a single word of English; they teach grammar out of a book.  I also happen to know they were not tested in English during recruitment.  They jumped through the multiple choice 'hoop' so why on earth would an HR department consider more is needed.  Non English speaking HR I might add!  Its a complete joke.

The issue is timetabling, the 'no fail' policy and, amazingly, education being teacher focused rather than student focus. I work as a teacher (not many jobs you can do here), and both my co English teachers I cannot communicate with/teach incorrect grammar. Timetabling is an issue as not enough hours is spent teaching. The kids will forget their 50 minute or 2x50 minute classes almost instantly and there is no time to revise, as you must move onto the next topic. Also, maybe 30% of classes the students dont even show up (due to pointless school events).  No wonder after 13 years of study, all students can say is 'My name is'. 

The no fail policy is just to hide how dismal scores actually are. 90% of students receive a fail score but to make the school look good it is changed. Dont people wonder why students average 80% for English in schools, but 28% on the entrance exam for uni a month later lol.

All funding is directed towards teachers. All schooling is directed towards teachers. The very basic idea of education is students i thought. So why instead of buying books, are teachers going on funded trips around the country? Work trips is just code for holiday. Naturally, like most things in Thai, it is also pure laziness. Open a book, get the kids to copy the page, without actually reading it or comprehending what the page is saying. If you finish you get full marks, if you cant even copy you get a grade less. Now schools are also banning private tutoring with the threat of low grades....so the only hope of actually learning something is starting to disappear also. 

There is supposedly meant to be a test being introduced for teachers to sit...however, the tests are always take home tests lol. So the teachers just all work on it together to pass them. Bangkok students do better because the government spends something like 8 times more on each student there. I guess it's that idea of class and elitism again. 

I think it is only 3% of Thai teachers who can speak fluent English. And from memory about 40% who are of an acceptable standard to teach English (rules etc). So what's that? 57% who have absolutely no idea what they're doing. No wonder the university entrance exams for the English part is an average of 28%. His point is relevant, but he does seem like a big knob. Make the point and actually make it useful/get the message across, rather than being a dick. They learn grammar mainly to pass a test. Tests like entrance exams, police, army, government official etc etc, are all stupid. Multiple choice questions with 3 correct answers or 0 correct answers. But the way the kids are taught is based off the tests. Conversation is only relevant for the super rich who can throw money around to have their children tutored purely in conversation. The one or two hours per week teaching at school or language centres doesnt mean anything in terms of conversation. 

Congrats to the Op on such a click-bait thread.

Cant remember if its been done it before but yes, this will be a 30+ pager for sure.

In the end it will be the " I paid nothing" crowd against the "my girls different"

I think the only way of judging a winner will be in those few who can admit they got a 100 baht birthday present, shortly after donating 10,000 to the latest family/debt/ worthwhile cause.

I still can't agree with you. I lived in a village for 2 years and as you say wonderful people. I'm not talking about black hearted bar girls setting blokes up in Pattaya. I would say most single girls I met were all hoping for a bloke to come along, maybe settle their debts and support them and they're family. I'm not saying they were bad people. That's just seemed to be their expectation / culture. Like I said not saying they're bad people, just the way it is and from what I've seen I feel I can generallise. I don't think many guys here would have experienced what you are talking about in a rural village. Refuse payment for work? And who works on a farm for 100 baht a day? You can go and cut Aoy or rice...pull casava for 300. I'd be wondering where you live?

300 baht is minimum pay in thai. Even most phone shops don't pay 300 per day. Maybe you're not talking about poor people at all lol. Well poor by our standards but not thai. They stay in the village for their families. 300 a day is 6000 a month, a government official secretary is on 7000 and to get that you need a degree and pass a test. Maybe you haven't fully got into thai life, once accepted thai are very generous people, continuously offering food and alcohol. Also I think my age makes a big difference, I'm 26 and also my family (her father being the mayor). But in my 5 years of knowing many thai people in both thai and Melbourne my experiences have, yes, been very different. 7 times out of 10 it's the thai person paying if we go out, not from me trying not to pay but them not letting me. Like I said though, comment on your experiences but don't generalise all thai like that as others have other experiences

That's right I am commenting on my experiences. Are you telling me in the bush people are working for someone else for 100 baht a day? That's simply not true. There are some paying under that minimum but they are struggling to get anyone to go picking season. The norm where we were was 250+ lunch and lao kao after work. 7000 for a government worker isn't true either. Maybe a trainee. I know many work in local government, schools and on farms and your information is wrong

I still can't agree with you. I lived in a village for 2 years and as you say wonderful people. I'm not talking about black hearted bar girls setting blokes up in Pattaya. I would say most single girls I met were all hoping for a bloke to come along, maybe settle their debts and support them and they're family. I'm not saying they were bad people. That's just seemed to be their expectation / culture. Like I said not saying they're bad people, just the way it is and from what I've seen I feel I can generallise. I don't think many guys here would have experienced what you are talking about in a rural village. Refuse payment for work? And who works on a farm for 100 baht a day? You can go and cut Aoy or rice...pull casava for 300. I'd be wondering where you live?

300 baht is minimum pay in thai. Even most phone shops don't pay 300 per day. Maybe you're not talking about poor people at all lol. Well poor by our standards but not thai. They stay in the village for their families. 300 a day is 6000 a month, a government official secretary is on 7000 and to get that you need a degree and pass a test. Maybe you haven't fully got into thai life, once accepted thai are very generous people, continuously offering food and alcohol. Also I think my age makes a big difference, I'm 26 and also my family (her father being the mayor). But in my 5 years of knowing many thai people in both thai and Melbourne my experiences have, yes, been very different. 7 times out of 10 it's the thai person paying if we go out, not from me trying not to pay but them not letting me. Like I said though, comment on your experiences but don't generalise all thai like that as others have other experiences

I think her comment that her living with you is worth something means she doesn't actually like you.

Considering this, you can't really blame her for anything else.

No I don't think that's true. We've been together for 4 years and I'd be pretty sure if she didn't like or love me. She certainly doesnt get any financial incentive to live with me apart from supporting her on a day to day basis and i assume she wouldn't have wanted a child together if she wasn't thinking long term. No supporting her family, no buying houses, cars in her name etc.

It's quite possible her attitude stems from these things. Isaan girls 100% measure the success of their relationship on what financially they can amass, not how much love or happiness. Before anyone jumps down my throat..I'm talking poor village girl here. Many different castes here. I often wonder about the guys on here that do have wonderful relationships if they are forking out. I mean if the farang is supporting the whole family in a manner they are satisfied with I imagine there would be a lot of pressure on the lady to make sure her man was happy and the golden goose didn't fly the coop. Generally we enjoy being together and have a good time. It's more her skewed up idea of a male / female relationship ie: she takes and man gives and beleive me she's not the only isaan girl with that attitude whether with a Thai or farang guy. I assume a thai guy knows how to handle her better or he moves on. There has been a huge amount of improvement in her attitude but early days. Seems to be the way. They're good as gold and you live in hope then they do a u turn and run off the rails again

100%? What kind of people are you mixing with? When I got married many villages came to visit us to show their support. And by poor we are assuming on less than 100 baht a day work or no work at all. These people were very generous, always willing to help and even giving gifts (not much to us but a lot to them). To this day are willing to help us if we need it on the farm etc and when we offer payment they always refuse. Yes, a percentage of poor Issan people who hunt farang for money exist but to suggest the most populated region in thai are 100% like that is ridiculous. You just seem to be looking in the wrong areas. There are good thai out there. Poor or rich, there are many with good hearts. The problem is the ones who make themselves available to farang are usually not the good ones. Of course thai society goes off how powerful, rich or how good you look but I know many people to have started to go against this tradition. Make a claim about your situation by all means, but don't generalise a whole region on thinking that was present 20 years ago. Cross your T's and dot your is before marrying a woman, cos I can promise there is many who just want a normal relationship. And if the guy is stupid enough to fork out for someone who doesn't respect them then that's their own fault, so they shouldn't complain about it.

The move to marry and live in Thailand was made easier for me as she could provide me a car, a motorbike, a big house and quite a bit of land for me (me being 26 with no money, her 28). But there is really no point comparing oranges or dick sizes as no matter what you get there will always be someone richer, more powerful or better looking. You'll live a life of stress and what ifs otherwise. The best gift to date is my daughter. Just be happy guys with whatever you get, how has this post caused so much bitterness. If you want amazing gifts why move to a country where the majority of the population aren't on a lot of money? In saying that a small token of effort is naturally expected sometimes on both sides.

I get a bit annoyed when most won't accept the fact that I know quite a few Thais who are earning monthly from 150,000 to 500,000 a month and expenses.

Needless to say they don't work in 7/11.

On this thread, we're mostly talking about Thai women in their mid-to-late 20's to mid-to-late 30's (the demographic group most foreign men end up in romantic relations with).

Please tell me what occupation someone in this demographic group might be engaged in which would allow them to earn 150,000 to 500,000 baht a month in Thailand, or for that matter afford to buy their boyfriend a 265,000 baht motorcycle.

Here are some examples of income I am familiar with. A rural general practice physician 30,000/month. My female dentist who has been professionally employed in a private hospital for 15 years proudly told me she earned 60,000/month. A female electrical engineering graduate who "hoped" to earn 40,000/month after 5 years on the job. A female student who recently graduated with a hotel management degree who expects to earned 15,000/month. A 35 year old male oil and gas engineer who earned 45,000/month. A 50 year old female primary school teacher (who has taught for 20 years!) reported she earned 40,000/month. A pork vendor husband and wife team who does a brisk business 6-7 days a week told me they earned 30,000+/month. A 50+ year old woman who worked in a Bangkok office, has travelled abroad on business, and headed up a team of about 15 people claimed she made 100,000/month.

None of these well-educated and professionally employed women could afford to purchase a 265,000 baht motorcycle for her boyfriend's birthday. So I guess that's why I too am wondering what line of work RayK's girlfriend is in that allows her to afford such a lavish, (even by Western standards,) birthday gift for her boyfriend.

Private engineers, generally working in thaiz overseas or even I know someone working as an engineer in Laos on 150k month. Someone I tute earns 10k an hour in Singapore as an engineer. But usually it's from starting up their own businesses or working for family businesses. My Mrs school friend (Chula Uni dux) gave up everything to open a fashion business and is on more than any figure mentioned a month. Another friends family owns a soccer club in England and her family gave her 6 restaurants in bkk to run. There are people out there. But really why are we discussing it. What difference does it make if your wife gives you a motorbike or a pair of shorts. It's the thought that goes into it. Mine spent all night every night learning knitting to make me something. I would prefer that to a motorbike that took 5 minutes to sign for. It's not the gift it's the thought and appreciation.

I get a bit annoyed when most won't accept the fact that I know quite a few Thais who are earning monthly from 150,000 to 500,000 a month and expenses.

Needless to say they don't work in 7/11.

They must work in the private sector. The 'official' salaries of government workers are quite low. The Chief of Army officially gets 110,000 Baht per month. A top official, school director or other position is about 95,000 Baht per month. A 25 year teacher at the top of the pay scale get about 55,000 Baht. Any professional in government service might expect an official salary of up to 60,000 Baht after 15 - 20 years service (in today's Baht).

All depends on the circles you hang out with. My family is not rich but don't need to be, army, police and government. Also worked hard. Whereas my friends, yeah of course. Thai is generally very poor or very rich. If living in thai and socialising with new people it is not difficult to know people worth a bit. But really why does it matter. As long as you care about each other then who really cares. Money is irrelevant. For me, generally I will choose to hang out with the 'poorer people' as they're more down to earth. Not saying a the rich aren't of course. Also I feel bad for my friends paying for me cos they want to go to expensive places lol

What a stupid post. Yes, many are about money but naturally not all. Before making the move just dot the Is and cross the T's. Who is paying for everything? Does she want to move to your land or is she happy to stay in Thailand? I'm 26, naturally don't have money. My wife and I now both work for the government 5 days a week and together on weekends. The land is hers originally and the homeloan is her name. Until I found work it was all on her salary. So what has she married me for and had our first child for? My lack of funds? She's young and has an amazing job, she doesn't have a shortage of people she can choose from. From my interactions and I guess that Durex survey results I think 40% of thai are who they say they are. To suggest all thai can't feel love is moronic. Get out and meet real, hard working thai and you may just find some love.

They should be giving you gifts. Even thai friends will give you gifts on your birthday. My thai friends back in Melbourne even bought gifts for my dad on his birthday. My wife will generally knit something. She's a government official so works during the day but will try and show her care and stay up all night knitting. She's knows I won't wear it as it's so hot here but also knows I'm fussy so won't bother buying something. A present, cake, dinner party, all the norm. Just like they do with their own families.