fredwiggy

Ego rules over common sense and I also see many long haired dogs who must be miserable in this climate.

I agreed with your earlier post to Bob, about the mental illnesses, why some choose hookers over normal women, but here I disagree. Many bar girls are coming from abusive backgrounds where their own relatives did a number on them and it didn't have to do with intelligence. A mental illness, yes, because of the pain they suffered as children, but not because they are dense or lazy. And many are forced into it by sick human traffickers and do it out of fear. Some are pushed by disturbed parents and made to feel guilty if they don't sell their bodies to pay their parents bills. Some very intelligent women become prostitutes because of the former abuses, and stay with it, making their own money and able to afford good cars and condos, not using pimps because they know the outcome, being freelancers and keeping the profits. I've seen this back in the US, where a friend was a friend with a prostitute and told me about her lifestyle. She had a nicer car than anyone we knew, and lived in a nice apartment in NYC.

One of the best predictors of a woman's future is the relationship she has with her parents, and especially her dad. If he's absent, she will always be looking for him in whatever man she meets, and without his guidance, she will find it hard to interact with males. If he was close to her, she will relate better to other males , especially if he taught her how men think and what they want from a woman. Mom can teach her how to be a woman, and also about other men. If her mom was treated well by her dad, she will see this and look for the same when she looks to a relationship with a man. If her dad treated her mom badly, she will lose trust in other men and will carry that into her relationships. As far as schooling, the more education she gets the better chances of her getting a better paying job, which means independence, and not having to rely on a man for his money, but looking for a man to be part of a team together, which will usually lead to a good future. Going through many boyfriends, many of whom are useless drunks, druggies or unemployed, does not work well for her future of course. Getting pregnant by one of these types also doesn't bode well, and is a hindrance to her independence.

People like you who read, and maybe not able to fully comprehend, should try researching more and replying less. I did say I've studied this for over 25 years, meaning with all that I've read about the subject, maybe I picked up some information on it. I never said a person with depression could be cured. There is no cure. People who are contemplating suicide don't get annoyed when others care about them and try to help. People who contemplate suicide are usually suffering from depression. Some are going through a lot of stress and maybe self medicating, either alcohol or drugs, and think the only way out is ending their lives. Some who have depression think there is no way out of the pain. It's a treatable disease, with medication for the symptoms, which with the right medication can help, and therapy, where you can tell a professional your thoughts and how you're feeling, which can give you hope. They feel helpless, and if they are severely depressed, go into a dark place where nothing matters to them. Talking to someone who listens without judgement can help them get to another day, because depression comes and goes, and when they get so far down, they think there's only one way out. Facts are, more than 80% respond to treatment. That doesn't mean the other 20% will kill themselves. A therapist will ask them about their lifestyle, and suggest changes. These can include diet, exercise, removing themselves from a toxic environment if possible, getting enough but not too much sleep, and helping them change their thought patterns. We don't know what this man was thinking, but if he has depression, he might not think there is any help, and contemplated jumping off a roof, at least until he got there and thought about it awhile. In this case, as I and others have replied, this man was seeking attention. If he wanted to kill himself, he wouldn't have waited hours thinking about it. He was supposedly using drugs. This doesn't help with your thinking, especially if he was also suffering from depression. Yes, we are all going to die, but that doesn't mean a person with depression doesn't want to feel better. They just don't know how. If he had extreme stress, and thought taking his life would end it, that would be true, but he wasn't thinking there was a way out of that stress, if only in time. He didn't jump, so he thought, along with seeing others trying to help him, that there was hope. Life is precious, although many are going through hell. There isn't any easy answer and all cases have to be taken individually. You're not going to stop someone who has made their mind up. Sometimes you only get them and extra day or two. Sometimes that's all they need to get to a better place. Yes, I do have a clue. I've lost friends to this disease. Friends who might still be here if they were helped by someone who understood that their symptoms were a warning sign. I wasn't around when my best friend took his own life. Back in 1987, there wasn't near as much information and medications that there is now. After he died, many, including his wife, thought he felt really bad because he was losing his hair. It took awhile, but I remembered he was always sleeping way too much, and always joking around and self medicating. It wasn't out of the ordinary to us, because all of us smoked weed and such, a lot slept late because of hangovers, and we liked his joking. Now I see it as symptoms of depression, but it's too late for him. This man we don't know the story. We can only assume based on what he was doing. If he sees a professional, then they'll know why. He might have large legal problems, lost a family member, bad illnesses, relationship trouble, or something coming up he felt he can't cope with. What I said is that most who contemplate suicide are suffering from depression. Most doesn't mean all.

When my daughter was born almost 7 years ago, she had very dark, straight brown hair, and looked Thai for the most part. After awhile the hair turned curly like mine, and I hoped it would stay that way. No such luck. It's brown like mine and straight. Her eyes are rounder like mine but darker, and brown, like mine used to be before they turned green, but she has her mother's eyebrows. Light brown skin, and looks very much like my youngest daughter back home. She definitely looks like both families, but more like mine. You can tell she's half farang from 50 yards away. I will eventually take her back to live in the states, as soon as I can re locate . Her going to school here isn't that bad, as they have English class, along with her speaking to me in English every day. She speaks fluent Thai, and is learning how to write and read both at the same time. She will have a much better lifestyle when we move back but is still half Thai, and that's just fine with me. Thai women are among the prettiest women on earth. It could be to her advantage later on being bilingual. I just picked the wrong woman to have a child with here, besides the point that I'm happy she's here. You saying you wouldn't waste your genes with a dirt poor Thai woman is pretty racist. As if your genes are somehow special and superior to Thais? Or anyone else's for that matter. I'm wondering if you are from one nationality. Much of the world's people are from more than one nationality, and if you traced your roots, you might be surprised what is in your history, and might think again. I've seen many half Thai, half farang kids here, and they all look half or more farang.

I based my reply thinking he was suffering with depression, all his behavior suggested it. What followed was all true. I also have studied this for over 25 years, and know quite a bit about the disease, including the fact that it is a mental illness and it treatable, which does not mean cured. I've had two wives and a few girlfriends, along with many friends and acquaintances that have it. People with depression are indeed thinking not rationally, at least some of the time, and if you think otherwise you don't understand the disease and how it works on the human brain. They go through tremendous mood swings, which can alter your thinking, and that thinking a byproduct of the depression itself. People with depression tend to overthink which plays tricks with your mind. You have to learn to alter your thinking when it happens, but it's very hard because you think you know yourself. It doesn't mean you've lost touch with reality, and a lot of the time, you aren't in a depressed mood, which even more makes you think things are okay. It doesn't go away, although that is a big reason many stop their meds. Meds that can help with symptoms, and give you a fighting chance to handle this disease. There are many stages of depression and the severity also. This man, like I said, was under the influence of something, and that something can make you a lot worse, especially if you are taking meds.There are millions of people with health issues that want to live, and don't consider the alternative. Wanting to kill yourself is depression speaking almost all of the time. Substance abuse and extreme stress can make a person not wanting to cope with life, but un diagnosed you can still not tell. And don't bother to add links because I've not only read three books on the subject, but thousands of articles, articles that have opinions that have changed over the years. Sticking with what actually has been working is always a better choice. Suicide is prevalent in every area of the world. It's a human disease, and happens wherever there are humans. The media points things like this out because a lot of things that come out here are there to point out the problems foreigners bring here, the truth being most of the problems are caused and suffered by locals. Most foreigners here are responsible contributors to their society. Prejudice rears it's ugly head in many ways, and this will eventually backfire because everything that's written not only here but everywhere else in this country, is read by all other foreign countries which have Thais living there, and that prejudice comes out there as hate crimes against them.

People who contemplate suicide aren't thinking rationally anyway. They are thinking maybe it's my time to go, and when that feeling comes, they look for the closest place to commit the act, especially if they are under the influence. Many are looking for help, as this one seems to be, because h had time to jump. A person who has made up their mind to end things isn't going to let others interfere. They will go directly to where they can end things, and it will happen quickly. A person who's hurting will do what he did, maybe looking for someone to show they care, which is sometimes all a person who's suicidal needs in their life. When they hit that place where nothing matters anymore, they're very close to the end. All it takes is someone to talk to them, at least until they can get help. My best friend, who I've mentioned, tried to end things once before he was successful, by driving into another car. His wife told me when I talked to her after he was gone, that she didn't understand why he tried that, as he never liked pain, and having a traffic accident, unless you're traveling at very high speed and hitting head on, doesn't always kill, but can leave you very hurting or paralyzed. that's why the next time he chose carbon monoxide. Quick and painless, but he didn't take into account, like most others, how it will affect his wife and others close to him. It's a mental issue, and one that can be treated.

That's why I said, if that's indeed true. If he's just another troller, then what I've said doesn't belong.

You, like many others who are wrong, assume you know someone from a posted message. I never look at things as just black and white. I don't have depression. There are always gray areas which must come into consideration. There are a few personality types, and all fall into one of them. There are women who want love more than money, and those that will go with anyone if they're rich, and everything in between. People can make small changes in themselves , but after that age of 30 or so, change is very hard, especially when it comes to character. When you read another's post, and must reply because your opinions don't match others statements or facts, you must read, and be able to comprehend, with an open mind, what others are saying. If you are someone that's married a hooker, your opinions are going to be skewed towards that woman, no matter if she's a good person or not, because you like the sex you're getting, at least for now. People who get into prostitution, and we're talking about are "into" it, and not a temporary thing because grandma back home pushed them into it because they want money, have deep rooted psychological problems, and this is not my opinion. People that marry hookers like what they see, and can have, without thinking of what they're getting into if it's going to be a permanent thing. Okay, so you want sex with a gorgeous Thai woman, who doesn't? There's a difference in lust and wanting to settle down with one, and yes, there are many variables if you look at 100 bar girls and think they're all the same. If they are truly pros, there's a reason for it and they think differently than the ones that have done it a couple of times before they realized it was wrong behavior. I never said it wasn't possible to have a good, permanent relationship with a former bar girl. It's just very hard to expect them to change from something they were into something they can't be. Time always tells in every relationship but the bottom line is, people who have been damaged from childhood are very hard to be able to have successful relationships later in life. They hurt others because others have hurt them, and one who looks at relationships as transactional will never have someone with them that is happy because of what they bring into it besides money.

That seems odd, assuming you treat her mom well, and provide, unless she looks at you as one who pays for her mom because she's a former bar girl, and she knows what kind of men do that, and doesn't want to end up with someone that also looks at her as a transaction, but as a partner. She's educated now, and independent, and hopefully she will choose wisely. If the only knowledge she has of westerners is the lies told here, comments from friends who have been with tourists and been used for sex and them dumped, and a dad who found her mom in a bar, a place where tourists go to have sex with women, and who looks at women as transactions, then she might have trouble finding the right man, especially here with the local men's reputation. Also, if you love and treat your Thai daughter well, she should be looking at you as a role model, at least as far as you treat her, and think that since you are a farang, she would think she could find a farang that will treat her well, especially again, hearing the rumors how the local men treat their girlfriends.

From what little we read here, if that's indeed true, Bob found a real woman who pays her own way, which means she looks at him as a partner and not an ATM, like much else that men find here. If he treats her with love and respect, which is what almost all women want, it's no wonder she wants to stay. A main rule of relationships is, when you find a good man, one who doesn't cheat, abuse or neglect you, you stay, unless you're very damaged goods or unstable. Good men, and women, are the hardest find a person has, especially if he (she) is a good person also. Good belongs with good. Users, cheaters abusers and greedy belong with the same, so they can drive each other crazy and a good person isn't hurt. Most women in the world will never know real love. They might have financial stability, with all that brings, but not have love, trust, honesty, romance and familial stability. A bar girl might stay where an independent moral woman might leave, no guarantees. With a bar girl you know what you're getting in a few ways. She will never look at you as special, because sleeping with many men for money and the unstable life that brings, especially emotionally, will never allow her to open her heart to you and trust that you will stay. Unlike some here believe, all relationships aren't transactional, but with a bar girl, that's always the case. With a true partner, a man is looked at as the provider and not an ATM, a protector, lover and father to any children they have, the leader in the house, and someone she can rely on in any event. A bar girl, with her mentality hurt by childhood experiences, has lost faith and trust in men, and just looks at them as a means to an end, to give her money to survive another day. When they marry a man, they're still looking at the same things, hoping they will last but never believing it will. All woman fear losing a man, especially if he's a good one. Difference is, when a woman lives a bar girl life, for a long time, and not one who has made a mistake and does it for a short period, when she loses a man, all she has to do is go back to the bar and find another one that's willing to pay her way, at least for awhile. I know there are some here that will disagree, thinking they're woman is different, and that all women are the same, but that's plain BS and they themselves know it. Some can't get a normal woman, and resort to buying them, thinking that if it fails, all they have to do is, like the bar girls, return to the bar to find another. Some are happy with this arrangement, as there's no commitment, unlike a real marriage has. It's just a transaction, and the man always wins, because , true, all woman cost money, and a bar girl will not give you any headaches, and if she does, you're gone. In a marriage, if you want it to last, you both have to do the work, and it is work, but if both want it, and do what they need to do, a marriage is the most comforting thing you can have. When one or both can't communicate where both win , a marriage can be a disaster, as most of us have learned. You can grow old together, and be happy, or grow old together and be miserable. I'm hoping myself for a real partner that's willing to do the work. Ex's didn't. Girlfriend now for over 2 years came from a hurtful background, where she was never treated with respect, and that continued with her marriage. So far, it's going well, because she's learning there is another side to men besides cheating, lying, abuse and neglect. And she's not greedy like most here, but helps me when I need it, and does her share.

I haven't read much of Stickman besides what he mentioned about women here and what to expect, which as I've seen and heard years before I moved here, is right on.

They can't. and go by what they're feeling at the time, which sometimes leads them into bad situations or a final one. My best friend , who had a great wife, nice rental house, job, hobbies, playing drums, hockey, dog, nice family, many friends, put a hose into the back of his van from the exhaust, and went to sleep, forever. He was always the class clown (Robin Williams), and tried to make people laugh. When I would go to his house at midday, his mom said he was still sleeping (major symptom if done a lot). He self medicated, like a lot of us, but for him it was to take away pain at times. This was in 1987, when there weren't a lot of medicines for the symptoms, and we didn't understand it , nor the counseling one can get. It's impossible to understand how bad they can feel, even though we all get depressed at times. This is a dark hole they get into, where nothing matters anymore, and they think there's no way out of. Support from a loved one is the most important thing they can get, although 9 out of 10 relationships fail because of it. One can't function and the other doesn't understand why, and they leave. With medication to help some symptoms, and a partner that understands and supports them, it can be handled, but not always.

Look up a few articles on depression, since it's obvious you don't understand what they go through. Even I, who have been studying it for the last 25 plus years, still can't put myself in their shoes to understand how they're feeling. It's not something you want to have, and it isn't their fault. They're not trying to get attention if they're depression is hitting them, but trying to end the pain, and some are still wanting to live, so they're caught in the middle. Over thinking is a huge symptom and it has you do things you wouldn't ordinarily do. This appears to be the case here. He might have more than just depression also. His wife hasn't the slightest idea what's going on in his head, as he probably acts normal much of the time. It's an inner conflict that sometimes you lose.

Sugar is addictive, and the companies that sell it of course have known this for years. Not advertising junk food might stop impulse buying for some, at least for awhile, but it won't get to the root of the problem, which is parents teaching their kids nutrition. This is a problem everywhere, including where I'm from in the US. My parents always cooked healthy food, although some of it was ethnic and has a lot of fat. We got ice cream and snacks after we ate, until we were teens and had our own money. We played everyday, riding bikes, sports etc, so we burned off many more calories than the kids do today. Here, the problem isn't only parents not teaching nutrition, which they know little about anyway, but the daily, every meal use of white rice. This is a main reason diabetes runs rampant here. Farmers, which comprise the majority of people living here, work many hours daily, and burn that food off, but when they retire (so to speak) they start gaining weight. Part of this is the introduction of sugar drinks, sugared coffee, snacks, high fat cooking and rice. The obesity level in the US has been high for ages, and in Thailand, the introduction of junk food and drinks has seen the obesity level rising yearly, and it won't stop. No education by parents, who don't know nutrition, advertising of junk, which brings impulse buying, easier lifestyles out from the farm, which means less calories burned, parents who want their kids to "shut up" (so to speak) and give them snacks, along with giving young toddlers junk for the same reason, schools allowing kids to leave to buy snacks at recess, children haven been given money for snacks by their parents, who don't know better. and store selling junk because, it sells, will let this problem just increase until the obesity level matches other countries. Only a matter of time. Junk sells, and no one is going to stop it, because people like eating junk. Putting sugar, unnecessarily, in noodle soup, is something someone started one day and others copied it, just like all other addictions. White rice is a staple here, and rice itself isn't a big problem, but having it every meal is. It's cheap, which is why it's always used, and it keeps the energy level up, but it isn't meant to be eaten every day, every meal, and in the quantities Thais eat it. Basically, this is a problem not easily solved, as other countries have shown. It's up to the parents to teach children much about life and living, and this doesn't happen a lot everywhere, as most of the world's problems are started at home, with the breakdown of the family unit. My ex wife here gave (gives) our daughter snacks all the time, until I recently put my foot down. Shes living with me for the last few months as her mom has gone to Pattaya to work, and had her mom bring over snacks a lot until I had to tell her that she needs to learn what healthy eating is (she's 6) so she can take that into her adult life. My ex, her mom, and others in her and my family have diabetes. She's lean so didn't understand why she got diabetes, until I told her about genetics and rice eating. Hopefully it stays.

I'm guessing this is sarcasm, as weed doesn't have you do things like this unless you are also suffering from some mental condition. Depression can do this, where some lose care about everything and can do some very strange things. I, and hundreds of others I've known, have smoked weed and never did anything like this. On the contrary, it makes you relax and think good things usually.

Thailand leads southeast Asia with suicides. Almost 5000 a year. And one psychiatrist per every 250,000 people doesn't help much.

There's that assuming again.

One of the many who assume things here.

Actually you're wrong again. Feelings mean very little. They can change with the wind, and aren't always legitimate. Moods change constantly, as do perceptions. Saying Thai people are very perceptive means you know people's thinking, which you don't. Anyone can be perceptive about things and be wrong or right. Saying Thai's are more perceptive than westerners means nothing, and isn't true. Many people are perceptive and can be right, but this is about smiles and the smiles here have been known to be deceptive many times, not only to me but to others I know. I, and many others, have had gut feelings about something and haven't always been right. To put it bluntly, you can not always tell what someone is thinking by their facial expressions. You can only guess. It would have to be put to a test, with the other person's responses proven true. Smiles, especially here, aren't legitimate because like I mentioned before, people will do much not to let others know what they're thinking, to save face, to detract, and to fool. I've played poker thousands of times, and mostly won, although not for high stakes because I'm not a gambler or like to lose money .Perceptive people, and I'm one, can tell more than the average person what someone is thinking, but not always. No one can.

Again, outward expressions can mean little or nothing. People are very good at hiding feelings. Here especially to save face, although they don't practice what they preach most of the time, as the news shows. The best way to hit someone who deserves it is to smile at them, get close by soft talk, and then strike. It's been done countless times. Telegraphing a punch is how you lose fights. Just an example.

When I said a smile means nothing, I meant you can't tell what they are thinking from just a smile, not that it has a meaning to them, because it does. The meaning can be friendly or not. Yes, a smile can mean they are being friendly towards you, or hide that they are prejudiced or have hatred. Only way to tell what a person is thinking is to ask them, and hope they reply truthfully.

Knew that when I was a teenager. Just like in a relationship. One can make the relationship better acting "as if" things are going okay, and they will with this thinking. It catches on, just like a smile. Going into a place with a frown on your face isn't how you attract others. They avoid you, especially if they are feeling a little down already.

No, no one can tell. It's a guess invented by someone who thought they can tell a person's thoughts by their facial expressions. I consider everything, as psychology and what makes people think is a hobby I've studied for over 35 years. A person can cry and be happy, and have a scowl, and also be okay in their thoughts, but not want to let others in. A smile means nothing. A lot, meaning most of people will smile to hide their real feelings. Just because someone makes something up that makes sense to them doesn't mean it makes sense at all. People follow others who they believe in for many reasons, power, money and status being some examples. They mean nothing. Narcissists have been fooling people for centuries, and these are the people many vote for in politics. Politicians smile because they know it makes people believe in what they say. At least some people.

Best answer and the most true. Lived in US 62 years until 5 years ago, and when I smiled at people coming my way, (usually), they usually returned with a smile. Here it's like many foreigners are hiding from something and don't want to make contact. The friends I have here I've either met in a gym, were introduced by other friends, or a store, and reciprocated when I tried starting a conversation. One farang started talking to me and his wife immediately dragged him away, giving me a dirty look. Guess she didn't want him to have any friends who might tell him how things really are here, and what to be warned of. Thai's here return smiles about half the time, but you'll never know what they are thinking. As far as the nonsense about recognizing the supposed 13 smiles, you can't tell. People are all different, and what might look like a friendly smile, might hide hatred or prejudice, or it might be true. Depends on that person. Smiling to others here shows them you respect them, and that's never a bad idea, as it's hard enough living here with all the scams, prejudice, greed, dishonesty and jealousy, and wanting to make friends in a foreign country is always a good plan.