fredwiggy

Sex in a relationship, where you treat the woman as a partner and not something that has to give you some, isn't a transaction. In a relationship, if you want it to last, both have to support the other. i didn't have that. Coming from a background of abuse and or neglect, they didn't know their role in a relationship, so only used or turned to silence or anger when conflict arose. I studied relationships, reading many books and articles for the last 30 years, to try and understand the other side. I became a better listener, father and husband, which helped a little, but when the other side reverts to the child in them when inevitable conflict arrives, you don't stand a chance at making things work. It always takes two. The second marriage didn't involve mutual children, but she was addicted to pain killers, and that messed with her mind, and our marriage. She died last year from a heart attack, obviously from the strain of many years on prescribed drugs. The first was a lunatic, and kidnapped my kids and took them to another state until I got them back and had them until they hit 19 and left the house. Her mom did this when she was a child also. I have a nice girlfriend now, who I help out When I need a little cash, she helps me. She cooks most of the time, great Thai, and she comes from a background of abuse and indifference. Husband didn't do anything much, including work, hit her, drank a lot, and didn't help out financially after she went back home with the kids. Then he passed away. She tells me everything, and trusts me because I've always treated her as number one. Arguments come, and I try to stifle them with a good ending. She never had this in her life, and it's alien to her, but she knows my intentions are good. When I move back home with my daughter, I would like her to come, but that's totally up to her. Thailand doesn't offer women over 40 much besides being used and taken for granted. She's younger than I am, but I'm in great shape besides my joints for my age, and no health problems. I understand my role here as a mate, and like everyone else, I'm okay with it.but she isn't near as greedy as others I've seen and heard about for may years before I came here. As far as God's thoughts, I'm always thinking you do what you think is right, hopefully being taught that by your parents, and try and learn as much as you can about things that are important to your life, and those that share your life.Briffaults Law is a theory, which sounds a little true, but in a mutual relationship, both make the decisions and are satisfied with the others desires. Both should get benefits from the relationship, if it's going to work. That doesn't mean money. If a woman is more interested in money, that's the one you stay away from. Leave her to the ones who want to buy her.

Wondering where you get your data from. And actually, there are prostitutes in every country on earth. Texas isn't an exception, unless you were trying to make some kind of point. Being smart and still being a prostitute does happen, but intelligence and sense aren't the same. A person who's smart doesn't hire or become a prostitute. There are other ways to get sex besides buying it, and they are safer. Some here treated their wives badly, and then complained when the sex stopped. If a woman is treated with love and respect, and you end arguments with both satisfied, the sex always comes. Granted, you do always pay for it, but in a relationship with a normal or semi normal woman, it isn't just about sex, but companionship, shared interests, family.

Being a Christian doesn't mean being a prude. I've had many girlfriends and was with a couple of prostitutes in my early twenties, before I realized I could catch something from them that could kill me, as aids was coming into the media back then. Saying lots of women who are bar girls are accepted isn't true. Thailand isn't a country without gossip, and even the best of friends talk about each other here, as in other places. Nobody looks up to a prostitute. In reality, a lot of so called friends here are backstabbers, and if not jealous of others, hateful towards them. I was fully aware of what goes on here more than 20 years before I moved here. There are countless Thai's in America, and I talked to many of them before I came here. A parent who wants their daughters, or sons, to be prostitutes isn't a parent but a poor excuse for a human being. A greedy lowlife that only looks at what they can get from their kids belittling themselves with strangers. Seeing one bar girl marry a rich farang makes jealousy, and you know what comes from that. I don't like to see women, or boys, taken advantage of, even if they seem to be going along with it because of instability in their thinking. Selling your body doesn't give you a better life. It only buys you things. Things that wear out, break or you get bored with. A bar girl doesn't look at their husband as a partner. Just a better transaction they made, for the time being.

Better choice of words would be confidence in your abilities.

I've been married 3 times, and they weren't successful because I married three with mental illnesses. Depression, narcissism and former childhoods with parents of the like. If you're an adult, you understand what you're attracted to isn't a choice, but what you stay with is. They were not normal. My problem was not getting to know them longer before I made a commitment to them. It wasn't personal to you, it was made from what you've been saying over the years here, and I took it as being truthful. Maybe it isn't.

Unlike most farangs here, when I came here I helped out on the farm with my now ex's family, being stronger than any of them even at age 62, and they always were telling their neighbors who never saw this themselves. Outside in the heat, 8 or more hours, planting, fertilizing, cutting cassava and rice, loading bags of rice, and putting them on the tractor. I did this until we divorced last year. Before I came here, I worked both in a sporting goods store, in hunting and fishing, and also helped a cousin build decks outside in Texas heat, so I fully understand what it's like. I'm an outdoors person, and understand reality full well. Hard work as a farmer isn't a dream. It's a necessity for those who haven't the education of knowledge to do another job, like Tesco, 7-11, Car dealerships, offices and the like. A kid that doesn't want to be a farmer has many choices here. The wages are low but that's the norm here, and millions live with it for years. No one wants or has to sell their body to survive.

You do realize, with your habit of purchasing women, that your opinion is even less valid than most. Anti sex propaganda? Who is against sex? Not normal people. This isn't normal sex. It's a transaction, where it's mostly the man who has pleasure, and some that are involved get beaten or killed. Thailand's rate of STD'S isn't propaganda. Statistics come from hospitals and clinics, who report these incidences. People who are pro prostitution are those that need to buy a woman, or boy, for sex, those who make money in the act, and those who make money trafficking young girls and boys. Having not caught anything, that you know, because many are asymptomatic, means so far you've been lucky. A bar girl will never live a normal,married life, and if you think so, you're completely clueless. The problems with sleeping with many men, for money, are passed down into her future relationships, and I'm sure you've seen some of this with yours, even though you might not admit it. Kids from former prostitutes don't look at their own sexuality as normal, because mom did it skews their thinking about their own.

Which explains what you do and don't understand about mental health. Why she did it is coming from her childhood. Bad first experiences from sex, rape, abuse, no role models to guide her. When you ask someone, you need the whole, true picture.

And risk her life and health for a bit extra money, much of which goes towards renting and living in a city. And there is always work here, for those that want it, and aren't too lazy.

Actually, yes. A much safer occupation where pride comes into the picture, as well as helping the family, getting exercise, and not exposing yourself to some dirty pigs who like to use, and sometimes hurt young girls and boys, and might leave them with a disease they can't get rid of.

Should have chosen an occupation better suitable for you, because a social worker has a risky job. Danger to themselves in places they have to go, exposing themselves to many underprivileged people. Seeing some of those revert back to bad habits that might kill them. Putting a child back into a dangerous situation or taking them out of a safe one. Some social workers have been killed, and if you take the job, as in the position of a police officer, you are risking your and others lives. Not willing? Try another line of work.

X is a 12 year old girl, clueless to what's right or wrong about her sexuality or others, and has a mom who thought working in a bar was a better choice. It's not. It makes you a whore and X has to live with that, and sadly might think it's okay because "mom" does it. X hears from other clueless children that what some, some meaning a very tiny part of the population, other really messed up children have done to make money. X knows from hearing from others, that life is hard in Thailand. What X doesn't understand, is that, except for some very well off people, most people have a hard life, and you have to work hard to be secure in life. X thinks there is little work, although jobs are plentiful here, especially if you finish school, or better yet, go to college. X has heard you can get an STD from improper sexual activity. She's dead on, with Thailand being a country with a high incidence of STD'S. What Confuscious doesn't realize, is that some things are facts, and some are opinions, and opinions mean nothing.

Pictures aren't the act. Might want to research awhile before posting. Prostitution isn't normal behavior, even though you might partake in it, seeing you know where to go to see underage girls.

Women, and mostly girls, and some boys, are sometimes forced. Others are pushed by their idiot parents so they can get more money. Some more are abused sexually as children, many times by relatives, and think the behavior is normal. Normal behavior, thinking, doesn't get women into prostitution. There are always jobs they can work. Though it might get you more money than others, it's not the choice of a normal thinking person.

Guess you've never been there, or used a computer to see that the US is the most advanced country on earth. But prejudice and ignorance betrays such information.

The only way to let others know they are in the wrong is telling them. Honking your horn lets others know, and it doesn't matter that some think Thai's are never wrong. This is why bad behavior continues. Mai pen rai doesn't work all the time like many here think it does. If I see someone going very slow in the lane, hugging the line, I'll pass them and pull over far to the left for awhile, letting them know it's what you do if someone wants to pass safely. Of course, many won't care nor understand what you're doing, but some will, and then it'll be a habit of theirs from then on, to show respect for others on the road. Something millions here don't yet have. If you drive like many do here in the US, you'll pay a lot of money, and that's the best teacher. As far as others having a gun, yes, that happens and people get shot at. If someone pulled a gun out at me while passing and pointed it at me, they're going down, and then to jail, because no court system on earth allows that behavior.

What is true is that a lot of parents , especially here with dads, are missing. A child without a father around grows up with only one for guidance, and a woman can't teach a boy how to be a man. What she can teach, if she's not in Bangkok while the kids are with grandma, is respect for elders, other's property, animals, and other's space. Being very strict doesn't work, nor does being too lenient. There's a fine line between discipline and not caring enough. Locking a child in his room is abuse. It shows them you are out of control, and controlling a bad situation is a parent's job. It's abandonment instead of teaching a lesson. Time out's are always good, if they are a teaching tool and not just top shut them out because you don't want to let them learn what they did is wrong. If a fire happened, not that there would be such bad timing, and they were locked in, it might be a disaster. As far as it being very bad in the US, that's also false. This happens everywhere there is poverty. dads leave, and moms think they have to go elsewhere to work instead of being a parent. leaving the kids with others, many of whom are illiterate, too old, or not caring teaches the child that this is normal behavior. it isn't. If you're going to be a parent, do it. It isn't anyone else's job. Teaching respect for others is priority one, and as we see here, it's not being taught on even a basic level. What they did was wrong from the start. First of all, a scooter can't compete with a car. You always lose. Not wearing helmets and trying to pass on the wrong side is why thousands die each year here. Of course, not enforcement of laws already there is the police not doing their jobs, which leads to more doing the same daily. All that driver had to do was turn slightly to the side and two are on the ground, either very hurt or dead. The stupidity of scooter drivers amazes me. Lastly, the breakdown of the family is the root of all problems worldwide, which is what I agree with in your statement. Not having any kids leaves you totally clueless on the dynamics of raising them, and that's not a putdown. You think it's do this or that, because you saw it growing up, or heard it from others, and it doesn't come close. It's the hardest job on earth, and is why so many fail at it and walk away. Parenting isn't for cowards, and kids having kids, especially here and other poor countries, leaves the next generation in the dark.

All information about the parents is needed in the US. Name, proof of address (2), SS number, marital status, age, dependent info, work place (income), child's birth certificate, immunization history, school transcripts.

Seems like she already got her wish

I lived in America for 62 years, and never came across any Americans that didn't know the difference between the two words. When you say, "I know that you know the difference', who are you talking about? How many Americans do you actually know, so you can pass judgement on what Americans think? As far as the original post, why is it your business to ask what others do or fantasize about with other women? Are you trying to put others into your type of thinking, hoping others will admit to what they actually fantasize about? Isn't sex between two people supposed to be personal business? At least after you pass teenage bragging thinking. Then this statement,."Once you have had your fill here, after several decades, you naturally become somewhat satiated." There are many farangs here I'm sure, and I know quite a few, who are happy with their wives and aren't here for just conquests like many tourists are. I myself came here and got married, to the wrong Thai, but I was willing to stay if she didn't go wrong. A person who looks at women , meaning plural, as something to get your fill of, is a user. No matter how bad a woman treats you, there are others that won't. A lot of women here look at us as money, because they don't know any better and are greedy, both for things, and a life different than one with a local man who either cheats, doesn't help with the kids, contribute to the family or just leaves. Many have had their "fill" of those that look at women as objects, like the farangs that do the same that come here. Everyone thinks about their past loves, and asking if they do is a normal question. What they think about with them and what positions? How old are we? What you assume about others might be right on, but is it your business? Better to send it to Penthouse, where others think the same, and where the answers are as impersonal and true bu**<deleted>.

Yes, sadly there are many whores here that will take money from one, who are mostly unaware, and have sex with a pathetic loser that will not satisfy her anyway, and be with another the next day. Those same women end up alone on a farm, or with a house that was bought for them, with a sad reputation that even their close "friends" will talk about behind their backs. When the farang dies, if he does before her, she will look for sex from those same kind, who are too busy to bother with a woman that sleeps around, looking down on her after the act because not many men, even players, want whores for very long.

It is, along with research for 50, which I stated there as you can see, and talking to many others along the way. Disagreeing to form your own opinion is never as good as actual research

You're looking for others to give you advice on something you already know the answer to, and no one here feels or understands what you do. If this woman treats you well, and isn't causing your family a lot of money , you have to decide for yourself if this is what you want for the rest of your life together. A lot will tell you to leave because women have hurt them in some way and divorce is the easy way out, especially if you have no children, and the property means little. You do only live once, and if you came here asking others what to do, you're looking in the wrong place for a answer. A person who drinks a lot is either suffering from depression, the drinking has become a habit for a long time, either because of that depression or abuse in their earlier life, or starting out young and drinking with friends to fit in (most of us). Either way, it's a habit for her and she only feels right when she is stoned. Substituting one drug for another can work, as one mentioned about weed, because at least with weed you won't drink drunk,and are usually mellow and in control, but it's still swapping one habit for another. trying to get her into AA here is probably impossible, and if she has friends that she drinks with, you can't get rid of them or she will be mad at you, and that won't stop the drinking anyway. You only can give her an ultimatum, stop or you have to go. I love you, but I can't see you this way, we don't do anything together because you're always wasted, and it's going to kill you eventually, although it can take a long time. Life IS way too short, and she can only help herself. You can give her a push, but she has to do this herself. As far as the divorcing, if by Thai law, meaning you went to the US embassy, them amphur, you registered it, meaning the US will recognize this as a legal marriage, so you wouldn't be able to marry again until you finished this one here. Of course, if you have no intention to marry again, I guess you could just leave, because there isn't any alimony here, and you have no children to pay for. Think of what YOU really NEED, then decide, after talking to her when she is sober, what she will or won't do.

I had 2 dogs and 5 cats here in the country, 250 meters from the road and the nearest house. Some local scumbag poisoned my 2 dogs, a family's dog, others in our village and two others that came after and squatted because I like dogs and they know,so they stuck around, because he (she) thought the dogs were running through their cassava fields and knocking down some plants, a loss of maybe 20 baht. The local dogs, not mine, killed all the cats. I wish I could have cats but they would have to stay indoors and I don't like the smell anymore.

Vodka, gin and tequila have the least calories. I like tequila and drink it when I can, but haven't found it here yet around where I live. I always drank wine, not much, but now it's beer and some whisky, which I normally wouldn't touch. I kept my weight around 80 kilos, ripped, from age 18 to 62. Since I came here, I couldn't find a gym close, 30 kilos away, until recently and it doesn't open until 14:00, so it's kinda inconvenient. You definitely do not need near as many carbs as you age, especially if you aren't training as frequently. I try to keep the beer low because of that, because drinking any calories leads to a surge in blood sugar.