fredwiggy

Who said I wasn't happy? I'm in a 3 1\2 plus year relationship with a Thai woman who has depression, had an ex who treated her wrong before he died, 8 years after she left him, and had dated a few farangs who didn't want to stay with her for one lame excuse or another. You do know many if not most, professional psychologists and counselors have been divorced yet still know what to teach others? This is because attraction gets everyone in trouble, picking people for mates before we really know them.

I didn't say they didn't like me anymore. I said they still wanted to be with me, as I treated them all better than they were used to earlier in their lives. I took the time to learn what it takes because I know most men won't, most men don't care about trying to better themselves, and won't read up on what it takes to improve themselves. Hence the women's complaints. I always knew how to treat women well. I just got better at it through time. My ex here still wants to be with me, as she's had trash before and after me, and knows what to expect here.

Life is up to the individual. If he and his wife are happy together, they are doing the right things. If the kids are happy because of the parent's relationship, they have done right. Everyone is different in what they want and need in life, and no one can tell others what they should or shouldn't do.

Weak in what way? I like to treat women as equals. and do more than the average man does to help. I had custody of my children back home until they left the house, and have joint custody now, and will bring my daughter to the US as soon as I can re-establish back there. I've been a bodybuilder for the last 50 years, extremely strong heavy lifter, so it isn't my physical part.

That's true, but in a world where finances are easily lost and people end up homeless, people want to hold on to the money, house etc. A woman will take a chance and stray because they aren't being listened to, but will end up only used. A man will take a chance because he thinks his wife doesn't give him enough sex, maybe because he does very little to earn it, so he looks elsewhere, and then finds only a few minutes of pleasure, and , if he has a conscience and isn't a narcissist user, he will feel guilty and hurt his marriage.

A man is supposed to be a higher form of life than a bear, which acts on hunger and instinct. I'm a good guy, and I eat meat.

Anyone who cheats is to blame. The woman who cheats is used, gets very little from the player, as he always moves on to others, even though he might lie and say he wants to stay with her. It rarely happens. A woman goes with a married man, he stays with his wife, you get used, the wife finds out, the marriage fails or is in dire straits. The only winners are the players, narcissists that don't care about anyone but their own pleasure.

It's okay if both aren't already in a relationship. but wrong when one or both are, and players usually aren't in relationships but only go from one to another.

After my first marriage failed,I was in a relationship with a girl I had a child with, and wanted it to work, so I started reading everything I could on relationships, children, families, depression (which she had). I always treated women pretty well, but I didn't understand the listening thing. The problem I had with my little girls mom is that she had severe depression, and got angry at anyone near her. She hit me and our daughter over very little stressors, and I tried to help her. Her mother also tried to hook her up with her ex boyfriend, who was a weiner. She did this because she knew I treated her daughter very well, and was jealous because her relationship with her husband failed because of her own depression. Misery loves company. She eventually just gave me our daughter and went away, becoming a truck driver to this day. She always wanted to come back, but it wasn't going to work because she never tried hard enough to help her depression, and 90% of relationships that have one person in it with depression fail.

I've known quite a few players, and all they do is find a lonely woman, many times a married or one in a poor relationship,and like a predator, they use what works best, listening......................... "I'm sorry he treats you like that, I'm sure he doesn't understand you. You deserve better. I would never let my woman be alone. My woman always knows I'm there for her. You are so pretty, you deserve better. I would always help with the kids, as they are extensions of you both. he should know better. Doesn't he see what he has?" And on and on until he gets her alone, has her, then leaves without even knowing her name.

Women are as special as they act. They are equals to us, and are, and should be, our first and onlys. There are good men and women and there are bad men and women. If you want to be happy, you find someone that thinks like you do. I rushed in too many times because of attraction, and didn't get to know what they really were until later. Greedy users should pair with player men, and good, beta males should pair with good, loyal women who look at men as a partner and not an ATM. That way the bad would drive the bad crazy, and the good matches would last.

I responded to what you said. It didn't go over my head. These are your words..... "I realised long ago that men will never understand women and visa versa. I worked with hundreds of them and the only thing I learned is that I would never understand them. Correction, I did learn one thing- gratitude is just a word to them."................................. Women are attracted to the bad boys, a thing they should learn about themselves because it never leads to happiness but being used. Alpha males are narcissistic users, period. This is why I've said before, a woman can be very intelligent in many ways, and be plain dense when it comes to men. You can't choose what you are attracted to, but you can choose who to sleep with.

That is one of the many things I learned from all the reading. Listen. Attentively. Picking the wrong women, especially to have children with, was my problem. You can't fix anyone is what I learned , although it took me awhile because I like to help.I just re- watched Everybody Loves Raymond, and it shows you just how not to act like a husband or boyfriend.

If you are living together, you already have joint custody, so nothing's needed to be done. You've done the DNA thing, so you'll have that if necessary in the future, meaning if you two part ways. If that happens, you go through what I and others explained earlier. Staying together of course is the best for all.

Men can understand women very well if they want to, and are concerned with having a relationship where both are happy. Takes two, and that means both sides. Women can understand men if they realize he just wants to be appreciated for what he does. This means communication, which is the most important thing in a relationship. No communication means resentment, and a woman is less likely to give you what you want, which for a man means sex, good food and time with friends and hobbies. For the woman it means being heard, understood , cared for and knowing she has someone who will be there when she needs him. This means she comes first, no other women in the picture, help around the house and with the kids, and letting her have time for her friends and self. You can't fake listening to a woman because they will see it immediately. You drop what you're dong, and put your attention to her 100%. A little time each day lets her know she's being appreciated for all she does. Mismatches happen all the time, and some people just don't belong together. Some don't belong in any relationship, because they bring baggage from childhood that hinders any chances of having a mutual relationship where both are happy. A lot of men think just because they are bringing home the money that this is all he needs to do. That would make all rich men the best husbands, and history has shown they are among the worst. A woman who looks at men as cash will never be happy, because that pot will never be filled enough. Greed destroys all relationships. If you do what you can for a woman, and you listen to her when she needs it, and are loyal and honest to her, and help her when she needs it, she will be glad to give you anything you need, unless she is damaged goods from childhood, greedy because she wants to impress others, has depression not treated so can't relate normally, or has been with so many men she'll never look at one as special.

Your first answer is right, as far as all the women I've known, been with, and read about. The second one belongs to the crowd with low self esteem, narcissists or those that need constant admiration. A secure man needs nothing but to feel appreciation for all he does. A father wants to see his children do well. Narcissists come in male and female, and they are everywhere. A covert woman will love bomb you until she gets what she wants from you, then treat you like crap , give you the silent treatment or cheat. A male narcissist will do anything he can to get your sex, then toss you aside like trash, thinking all women are to be used for his pleasure. Malignant narcissists, like most world leaders, will promise you everything to get into power (office), then go along for the ride afterwards, feeding you crumbs to hopefully stay there. Women can also have a huge ego, thinking they can have any man, and many good looking ones can. The thing they don't realize is, that men who end up with these princesses will also use them and leave, so the women hasn't won anything, and is better off dropping that ego and end up with a beta male that will take better care of her and the family. Can't use a man for sex. Only for money or things, unless he gets sex, and then he also wins, even if it costs him cash. Everyone really wants to be noticed, and appreciated, but with all the users worldwide, many relationships fail because of bad matches.

Thai courts will almost always grant custody to the mother. Prejudiced against men of course, and behind western thinking that men are sometimes the best parent for the child. The only ways you might get custody are proving she is into drugs, has a bad gambling problem or is doing indecent things with the child. You will get visitation, and that can be negotiated, but should be at least weekends and school holidays. You will be told to pay child support. The only other alternative is the mom granting you custody, and that happens if you offer money or she is smart enough to know that the child would be better off with you in a western country, which they are. If you are staying here, moot point, and you will need to get a dependent visa. Lawyers aren't really necessary if there isn't any argument over joint custody. A translator might be needed, especially if the judge can't speak English, which many can. Most lawyers seem to charge the same, unless you can find one in your area, which would cost less because they won't have to travel. You can always talk to a lawyer, for a fee, and they'll let you know what you need to do. You haven't said anything about property, so I'm guessing you rent. If you're married, that will be another thing you'll have to change, unless it's just a Buddhist ceremony. If there's more children, the same thing will happen, unless she will let you have the other one.

Don't tell me, let me guess, is it GG?

Just so you know, many of us have been there, or are still............ ston·er /ˈstōnər/ noun noun: stoner; plural noun: stoners; suffix: -stoner 1. informal a person who regularly takes drugs, especially marijuana. "I was a real stoner when I was a teenager" 2. British a person or thing that weighs a specified number of stone. "a couple of 16-stoners" .

You were an experiment? That would surely explain some things.

You're describing a large percentage of farangs in Thailand. You can never tell about a persons demeanor by their look, although sometimes they do look like criminals. Still has no bearing. Look at Ted Bundy, one of the most prolific serial killers of women of all time. The way he got women to believe him, to get in his car, was he had a normal, everyday look and a smile. The same with Jeffrey Dahmer. I have know a few guys that were good getting women to go with them, and they were just users, but they had a way that worked for them, and it was that they listened to the women, made no judgements and knew how to charm their victims, which a player's target are. The same goes for fooling children.

You say you're from Australia, and I'm guessing a born English speaker and schooled that way? Then saying you're an "academic and much intellectuallly gifted" doesn't sound like it. Part of a higher intelligence is correct grammar and spelling correctly, besides typo mistakes. You can usually tell if a person is intelligent after reading their posts over a time period, so that last post, along with quite a few more, leaves a lot to be desired.

True, and what you see daily on the news is the endgame from those absent fathers.

Tops in Central, or wherever you might find them, have some pretty decent tomatoes. yellow and red cherry tomatoes, which aren't too bad, especially in a salad. I'm from New Jersey, so I've had the about the best you can find. The local ones aren't great for salad, but most are used for somtam so the heat makes most of it taste the same anyway. I've been finding more farang foods but mostly online, like Villa, Paleo, Tops, etc, but they do cost. The cukes aren't the greatest either, but not that bad.

Had mine at 60, same with me. She's a very bright kid. Speaks fluent Thai and pretty good English, for now. Her mom wasn't the most honest kind, and took her 4 times from me until I had to file for a divorce to get her back. Now she's with me more of the time, as her mom seeks another farang in Germany. I can only hope. Kids need their dads, especially the girls. They don't have that, they spend a lifetime looking for that daddy that's perfect, and never find him in a mate.