Chris Daley

There's only one thing better than bumping into an American and that's bumping into a Brit. Jolly characters with ravishingly good looks. They have a rich and diverse range of conversational topics. One of those is immigration. Is immigration really an issue in the UK? If so why has every government promoted more of it for the past 130 years? Uh oh... maybe there's a deeper reason involving global economy and the plight of humanity. I want to let everyone know this is a safe zone. You are all beautiful. Lets go though some of those naughty noodle issues that keep coming up every day. Timmy: I fear that immigrants might take my job. I feel really sad. Hmm.. that's a good point Timmy. Well you see Timmy, humans are the most expensive thing in a company. Sometimes businesses want to save money and they do this by hiring cheaper labor. It's sometimes called outsourcing. Lets look at the numbers! Aged 23 and over: £11.00 per hour Aged 21 to 22: £10.18 per hour. Aged 18 to 20: £7.49 per hour. Immigrant: £5.28 per hour Timmy: I pay taxes. Why do immigrants get free houses? Good question Timmy. Well you see immigrants also pay taxes. So they also get houses. There are pink ones, green ones many different houses. Timmy: Why do some people look different from me? Oh Timmy! You are full of questions today. Well a long time ago the UK stole toys from people and made them work in a process called indentured labor. Those people also fought in wars for the British! Oh my gosh! Those people lived a long way away from us. And their skin pigment is different. As part of this deal they were given British passports. Many of them couldn't make it to the UK but some did! Timmy: Why do people claim benefits and not go to work in the big building? Wow! That's a toughie. Well you see if people don't read or go to big school and they only eat a basic grains and cheap food they are easier to TRICK! This is sometimes called the Capitalist System. Timmy: The man on the TV said I shouldn't play with the other kids. Yes, it's like when your teacher say 'no one can leave until Jack reads this sentence!' It makes every one hate Jack and it turns people against each other. But really, the teacher was the one being mean! A nasty tactic. Don't speak to that man again Timmy.

There is no end to someone who is truly fearless. Tyson will win.

Under the Prussian model of education, the primary purpose is to remove free will and turn people into mindless soldiers. Training men to be armed and violent from primary school to high school. The marching, dehumanization via uniforms and shaved heads, bells, id numbers ''color wars'', flags, ''scout staff'' used as a fake gun, and general animalistic behavior for 14 years. I am not surprised in the slightest that he stabbed someone.

Because men and women Chess Tournaments are separate events.

I'm look forward to cancer. What will come first crumbling bones or lung filling with fluid? So exciting.

I used to take air taxis a lot. They were called BTS Skytrain. Someone sneezed in my face once. She was hot.

Digital Tw@ more like it. They are all on a pension or a some other support. Don't make it sound like work.

He hanged union jacks in his house. Was he one of those ones who wanted less people in his country? Mission achieved.

I haven't seen my girlfriend's face for a year now. I see a glowing face and someone swiping a screen. A taxi cue consists of 40 people looking down at the telescreen. The average classroom is 36 students staring into a device or ''using technology in the classroom''. I am amazed at how quickly these messages spread and when I get to work all the men have the same message 'My wife bought so much milk... it's crazy.' 'yeah, mine too!'. Two is funny, but 8 and 12 people. I have attached an image that shows an example of how to spread a message in a short space of time. How about you? What weird things does your wife say to you?

Cold ''toast'' with American spray on cheese and sugary slice of ham. The entire filling just filed the centre. The rest was dry bleached toast. Absolutely disgusting. 35 baht.

Standing next to him at the urinal wasn't a give away?

His 'ambition' was starting a restaurant. Probably better off in a cage.

He should deport his little African friend Elon Musk first.

Just become a teacher. They literally accept anyone these days. The druggies, the alcoholics, the pedos. CRB checks only do Thailand not the country of origin. Most teachers I know don't have a degree. They want clowns not educated people. Get a job you lazy bum.

She wasn't performing in the bedroom, on the phone all day, winging and whining constantly. Enjoy your car cling.