vreemd13

Great story, ............... , I have been in mixed sex toilets where women and men are coming and going right beside me. ..............

Just only in Thailand: mixed sex toilets????? You are kidding.

I visit one at a regular disco in old-fashioned conservative city Dallas - Texas - USA, already over 20 years ago. And for sure, there was much more going on for free, then just a shoulder massage for tip.

Just to warn you with my experience, it can happen everywhere, all the time.

But I agree, well written story, OP.

Sent a short text message (SMS) with reception notification. If recipient telephone is turned off you receive immediately from provider the message "your message with identification number xxxxxxx can not be delivered yet". Your message will be repeated by provider for delivery to recipient every 5 minutes for the first hours, then every 15 minutes for the next hours and afterwards for every hour, during the next 3 days. As soon as telephone is turned on and message is delivered to recipient you will receive a notification. After 3 days failure you also get a notification that your message is not delivered.

Perhaps that works with some services somewhere but it sure don't work with any of the DTAC or AIS PAYG services I've seen. Delivery reports that I get come back when the phone receives the message with nothing beforehand. Comes back undelivered eventually, perhaps after 24 hours ?

OK, let me clarify. Technically all short text messages (SMS) have delivery notification back to the (provider of) transmitter in case (provider of) recipient has received the message. This delivery notification is just not shown automatically by your own provider to you as the transmitter mobile cell phone. This is how SMS works, if transmitting provider does not receive the delivery notification back, it will repeat sending (most provider for up to 3days by default, but can be changed at your mobile cell phone settings) untill delivery notification has been received back. Have you ever wondered why you some-times receive the same SMS more than once, that is because transmitting provider did not receive a delivery notification back from you as recipient (provider), even though you have already received the SMS once or more than once before.

And, depending on your provider, there are 2 ways of using the delivery notification:

-1- turn on "Yes" for "SMS delivery notification" at your mobile cell phone settings

-2- if -1- does not work correctly, then contact your own provider how to receive. Some-times your own provider doesn't support this automatic delivery notification at your telephone "Yes" settings and you need to add some special characters in front of each SMS message you sent, f.e. characters *0# (probably provider dependent)

It works for me to DTAC and AIS recipient providers, with situations -1- and -2- by different providers used by me. A delivery notificatin is free of charge, even though you receive a SMS back. This way you not have to ask receiving party to change any telephone settings.

P.S. now I am just curious about this song thing, whenever calling a mobile telephone which is turned off. Because I just immediately get a voice telling me "the telephone isn't in service", without a song thing. I only hear the song thing just as regular normal dailing tone untill telephone is answered (or just not answered for up to 1minute max.).

I personally never heard of a tune when a mobile telephone is turned off. Just old fashioned out of order sound, not reachable.

Sent a short text message (SMS) with reception notification. If recipient telephone is turned off you receive immediately from provider the message "your message with identification number xxxxxxx can not be delivered yet". Your message will be repeated by provider for delivery to recipient every 5 minutes for the first hours, then every 15 minutes for the next hours and afterwards for every hour, during the next 3 days. As soon as telephone is turned on and message is delivered to recipient you will receive a notification. After 3 days failure you also get a notification that your message is not delivered.

Maybe they simply dont understand ya - I am having a hard time, although the answers look familiar and

annoying. It might simply mean that ya need to ask if they understood the question. If they do and still

answer up to you, move or get new friends.

BR>Jack

Even though I dislike to admit, maybe this is the best reply, so far:

"Move on and get new friends"

Does it fit my first original question blanks .... best ???????

Yes, probably it is best for my future, because the childish whining of my adult thai friend is a horrible experience now.

Have you any other suggestions to stop this childish whining and continue an adult conversation with my thai friend?

They dont seem to be able to say "not sure" or " i dont know ".......and "up to you" is normally folowed silently by " your paying.....

What a coincidence, just 3 days ago I answer "i don't know" on a discussion case with my thai friend. For sure this answer was not accepted, because it was not a clear "Yes" answer as expected for him to hear.

Prove my case: "They" only accept a clear "Yes" or "No" and "up to you" from outsider (i will not mention farang here) is still out of the question for "them", even though "they" use "up to you" as a non-negotiable answer in any case.

Now my friend is whining like a little child, because he not accept my "No" for an answer.

(Please understand quotation marks around "they", it is not used to generalize by me)

The B/F said something to me an hour ago, in fluent English, that I didn't understand. I ignored him and he walked off, happy.

???????

And you really don't want to know what he asked you?

I would want to know if it was a sarcasm remark or something else ... I would want to know what was going on?

And I don't accept an easy answer like: "you think to much". If some-body is able to back-talk about me, without knowing or asking my point of view of the subject, it is useless to continue.

Like Ballpoint quote:

" Isn't that the sort of generalisation you were warning people about on another thread? "

Lack of communication. Why, you give up return communication? Just to keep peace, PB? Or just to make BF happy?

They dont seem to be able to say "not sure" or " i dont know ".......and "up to you" is normally folowed silently by " your paying.....

Oooh, some recognition, however not always the case.

But "they" are often able only to expect back a clear answer from you. If "they" ask something, it often has to be a clear black/white answer: "No" or "Yes", and "they" will repeatedly ask you same, until you answer "No" or "Yes". In "their" case an acceptance of "Up to You" will be out of the question.

IanF:

Probably true, it can't be changed,

When people change their mind at the last moment without any notice: it is annoying, irritating and makes you upset, this make you feel you are not important for anything.

It just shows sellfish and chauvinistic behaviour.

What about communication prior to the last minute change?

Jungian:

My OP -8- STEP's are very clear for over 3 years to my non-native English speaking friends, BTW they speak and understand Englisch for over 10 years. Thus, talk slow english, will not solve my problem.

Thanks to make clear to me again any differences:

Start Quote:

In Thailand it all has to do with "face". Thais do not like to give a direct "yes" or "no" answer. If you are their superior, they will lose "face" by criticising your decidion

End Quote

I explained (by word and action) my friends extensively for years:

- I am a friend and NOT a superior

- I not care about face (no-one face lost, both way, to admit doing wrong, because we now say "sorry" and "thank you" to eachother)

- Talk direct and clear (because I can't read mind)

As much I hate "up to you", I hate this standard phrase "lose face". Because it not apply to friendship.

However I get your drift in general

Best Regards, Jack

But answer "up to you" can only be replied to simple questions, to which I certainly not have to ask again "if they understood the question".

F.e. "Can I visit you to have food/drink together". Clear to answer "Yes" or "No" to that question.

Some-times I think the word question and answer are not even understood, even though I explain question mark "?" and the meaning of "yes" and "no".

Just Silence Reply

What about: "I am on strike" Reply

Happened to me one time few years ago, however not lasted long time. 555

I know some thai friends for many years now, but still:

You ask a question and their reaction is:

-1- No reaction at all

-2- long time silence

-3- "up to you", whenever if you insist on answer

-4- a reply what you want to hear, whenever you insist further for more clear answer

Never a clear "Yes" or "No" at first. And for sure, my friends know my actions, if their answer is "up to you", it equals "No" to me, and therefor they gain nothing and surely not gain my full joy/fun to the party (bad me, I am always suspiscious).

But otherway around, if they ask me a question, my thai friends demand a clear "Yes" or "No" on the spot.

I still have no clue, don't you feel so insignificant if their next action is:

-5- Do, what they want to do, and not tell you what is going on to be done. And for sure, the action is different as the compromise you had in mind.

For me, I have:

-6- Always a little disappointment, because compromise is not held

-7- Enjoy time, because of happiness and .....

-8- Less joy as outsider, because of .....

Please, can you fill out the blanks ..... for me

Why not stop farang sin sod forever, it is not done in western culture (and everybody know why, because you can't buy people). Why deny your own culture above others, just to buy face and ..... whatever .... in Thailand?

I have been offered to marry an issan daughter and to marry her brother too (yes, just for sin sod money he could do), they both have asked me themself to marry me. I deny marriage (because it is just a piece of paper), but both brother and sister are still my friends for many years now.

One year after daughter proposal to marry me, which I denied, I go visit back home, with her brother, her thai wedding with a local thai man. Incredible to see how a thai wedding can be turned into a money making party.

Farang sin sod is just about money for short time being .... nothing else more important in thai "poor" society.

Amazing! Thnx.

Amazing foreigners, know first what you buy or how you invest. Get local knowlegde first.

I once sit in airplane beside a thai woman (years ago), she claimed to receive 70kTHB/month from Belgium friend and even she thought this was a little bit high (and did not deny accepting less), but 30kTHB/month support should be normal, according to her. She ran a pig farm up north. Yeah, for sure I can start a one person business without initial investment (zero start-up cost) very good too, if somebody also support me a 4-10x month salary each month. This Thai woman even claimed her Belgium friend gave her 100kTHB cash pocket money. Because our airplane was delayed she used my mobile telephone to call her Belgium friend in car when he returned home after dropping her at airport. She calmly asked him for another 100kTHB to be sent next week to keep everything running up north. I still wonder myself why I not called back this poor/rich Belgium foreigner to tell .......

Business as usual

Have Thai people ever told you: "Sorry, I did wrong to you" or "Thank you, you were right after all".

It is no problem for me to admit I am wrong or apoligize.

However, reading about this "loosing face" thingy, I just wonder if it is the same for Thai people.

What is your opinion, when Thai people say "sorry" to you?

My wife says sorry if it is appropriate, other members of the family just look sheepish and stare at the ground, or disappear for a few days.

I have experienced "look sheepish and stare at the ground, or disappear for a few days". I do accept this kind of teliing "sorry". Let it pass, let it go, don't mention and problem solved in short-time period forever.

However, this short-time "sorry" solution does not explain (thai) people motives for telling "sorry" after 6months.

Don't know about sorry but our Thai contractor who is remodeling our condo, quite often says he does not know something and will find out the answer. That I really appreciate. Is that common?

Is that common? I don't know? That is kind what I am asking here for explanation to understand!

But I certainly would appreciate his honest answer at the moment, as long as he does return with an answer in the near future.

a certain group use :

sorry / hate / pity / brother / sister without sense

i am sure i am missing some

I understand what you mean with people who are using "sorry / without sense" (most probably quick apology, in case individual parties don't know eachother),

However, please, elaborate "hate / pity / brother / sister without sense"

Especially "brother / sister without sense" I don't understand in this case. Is there any example to explain to me why this could be mentioned?

You have to be wrong first!......what's that like?

Sure, in that case everybody would immediately answer "Sorry, I don't understand you"

more thai bashing i see!

thais i notice r quick to apologize. im no talkng bout spouses, regular thai people.

Neither was I am talking about bashing Thai, nor spouses, nor "regular people" (which you have never met before; f.e. who bump into you on skytrain and friendly apologize) thus nor quick innocent apology mentioned by me.

I was talking about people as friends (in this case Thai people), who tell "sorry" by themself, even the occasion has occured many months before and I never pushed (or had the intention) to receive an apolgy.

I am looking for cheap flights BKK-HK too, just like to visit HK for a few days in April,

I found cheapest now: Emirates BKK-HK-BKK return ticket about 7.000THB

However: one-way BKK-HK could be more expensive and there are many more expensive 2-way tickets (up to 2-3 times) in April.

I have not decided yet, which date I will go in April. Just want to plan visit one day ahead. Will late booking be more expensive (like the 2-3x seat offers)? Is booking in advance necessary or are the cheaper flights still available whenever late booking?

Is it possible to have cheap flights BKK-HK-BKK without early reservations. What is your experience?

Have Thai people ever told you: "Sorry, I did wrong to you" or "Thank you, you were right after all".

It is no problem for me to admit I am wrong or apoligize.

However, reading about this "loosing face" thingy, I just wonder if it is the same for Thai people.

What is your opinion, when Thai people say "sorry" to you?

I resent some of the easy replies "just give her 100k". Replies without good arguments, maybe stinging arguments as: "you had fun, so 100k is nothing to pay off this situation".

Reconsider this: would you ask 10-20 times your monthly earning? That is a lot of western money.

My opinion: 100k is a lot of money in any situation, especially OP's personal situation.

Wow, talking about global warming

What goes up, has to go down.

Just wait