vreemd13

I personally had no problem with asiarooms.

Indeed, sometimes reply "hotel completely full". Maybe for the cheapest availabe rooms you think. However, once tried to book a more expensive room at such same "completely full hotel" hotel and same asiarooms message appeared. Called this hotel and I was able to book a room with free upgrade to more luxurious room. Knowing this I contacted asiarooms, but they were not able to do this upgrade. But the rate directly given by the hotel was much more expensive as asiarooms did offer online. Never noticed a transcript of such an unsuccessfully bookings. The credit card amount was always unblocked without problem.

BTW: I googled my asiarooms reviews and all of them were still correct and online to be found, even though some reviews had not been very positive. I just noticed that asiarooms has translations of my reviews in different language available. And even the negative reviews have been translated correctly. Was not aware of this translation, it is not mentioned anywhere, as far as I know.

Fun video,

However, I have never seen a closed bottle at a party in Isan.

HiHi. Should be a very secret special thai custom or very secret thai circumstances (for westerner), why the fun contents can not be used at the occasion

Any explanation of the secretly closed lid is appreciated?!?

Are you sure you want to spent money to this (ING) Dutch western bank institution, supposely safe way of life security.

Think about it, save your insurance money (with bigger profit) if you want to live a long happy life.

After reading your lines I was left really worried as I have my "life" insurance (called "retired pension plan") with National Nederlanden (now ING) and Im only a few years before receiving back any benefits. Is my money and future quality of life in any danger with that "Dutch western bank".; I haven't heard of any complaints yet, but your comments left me wandering. Please elaborate your opinion.

Sorry, do not worry, no problem about this specific company solvability.

I tried to express my dislike against the expression "life insurance" and my aversion in general towards insurance companies. Yet insurance companies:

- make big profits (and you as customer have to pay its profit)

- find any excuse not to pay if you claim

- assume your life will be better off when everthing is insured

- omit many negative information about risks or additional costs

However next warning, it may not apply, because I am not an expert at this subject. Some western life or retirement insurances are in fact investment-funds insurances, without you knowing it. You pay a monthly amount of money and after a certain period an amount of money is paid to you at once or this amount is paid in monthly parts as pension income. First you pay a commission fee to effect the policy, somehow this commission fee is charged to you. However, every month the insurance company charge you additional costs too. Purpose is to cover costs as administration, management of the funds, etc. This cost could be a minimum of 30% of your monthly deposit. Thus really you save only 70% of your money. However, when the policy is in fact an investment-fund, it is not certain how much your policy will pay out at the end of the period. It could be a lot less as depicted from the start, while stock exchange funds are unpredictable. You have not saved 70% of your money (with fixed interest profit), but bought shares.

That is way I mentioned "with higher profit". Save 100% of your money at your bank account in case you want to live a long happy life. It gains you already 30%, while these additional costs are your loss and goes directly to insurance company profit.

BTW: the minimum 30% monthly costs could be in fact go up to 80% (last year in the news), depending on your monthly deposit amount or insurance company. Not difficult to figure out that 20% of your money at an insurance company can never profit higher against 100% of your money at a saving bank account (if you last the total period of the policy, which everybody certainly wants).

Any comments on this same old story,

While lonely drinking a beer in Soi4, already 6 months ago, a MB started to talk to me. I did not show much interest to him, finally I sent him away after 2 hours talk. He did the talk, I just listened, because I had not much to comment as usual. We exchanged telephone numbers (who does not these days, but probably my first mistake) and I happily think that is the end of it, because I had other things on my mind that time being.

Result, he is calling me every other day to return his call. He sents me an average of 1 short message every day, for 6 months already. However, this average is increasing lately to 2-3 per day. After 2 months (I became a little bit curious about his assumptions) I met him again during a short holiday. He invited me to his parents home, however this was never my intention. I did pay for this trip and expenses (no problem, seems nice gesture both way).

He shows anger towards me, because I stay quiet (not return call) during many days/weeks in last 6 months period. He shows anger too, because I do not return his love talk by sending money to him. He frequently ask for money, which he is not getting for his many "future-be-togeher" ideas. He finished this LDR already several times, trying to upset me with several hurting reasons or his MB past stories. Still, he keeps contacting me with sweet words as his BF. During first 4 months, I told him I did not believe his sweet words. But I stop telling him this lately, because it seems useless. He tells me he quits his rich MB job and lost customers, because he is my first BF in love since we met again for second time and visited his family. When I called back him late at night, he was never surrounded by bar or BKK street noice. 2 weeks ago he left BKK to return to his parents farm.

At the beginning, I was sure he was playing a MB game. Thus I never said a definite 'NO' (probably second mistake of mine) to keep in contact as future friends. He admits, I was just a customer at first meeting. Only once in this 6 months period, I sent some money (probably third mistake of mine). It was just enough money to test if he would do the thing with the money I asked him to do. And of course, no surprise for me, the test result was disappointed. During 2-3 weeks I put pressure on him to finish successfully my test request. Finally, after 4 weeks he admitted why he did not accomplish my request, a test he was not aware about. His reason of failure is very credible to me. I also know he is a good actor. Comes with the MB job, he frankly tells me. And according to him, I am the one who is playing a game.

I am feeling ambiguous now after 6 months. In LD friendship credibility and honesty is difficult to believe. Seems a lot of effort or unexplainable attraction of him towards me, which I do not understand the reason in my case. Probably I have to learn from my own mistakes? However, I sure do not want his feelings to be hurt, jus in case it is ....

Who of us is the actor at this point? How long does a MB show interest, without money exchange?

Strange name "life insurance". It might insure opposite, death.

Are you sure you want to spent money to this (ING) Dutch western bank institution, supposely safe way of life security.

Think about it, save your insurance money (with bigger profit) if you want to live a long happy life.

Threesomes ...... and soon you will experience enormous jealousy between 2 thai partners. The ones led by the wallet have to split the bill 50/50. That is not 100% value anymore in future. Just mathematics.

I am surprised to read this topic about breaking up. Not long ago this relationship showed only positive sides, reading your own reports. But maybe I missed a part.

You have trusted a person for 3 years and supported him each month with a reasonable amount of money. In the past you have shown enough respect towards him to maintain this relationship for the long future. If you wish to finish this relationship, it is finished. In my opinion: if you are paying a last amount of money you are not finishing the relationship right now, but wishing to continue the relationship whenever he wants (as a friend or boyfriend). Therefore I disagree to act noble and pay a last time amount of money. Pay more at this moment is not showing him to say goodbye forever. Furnishing him a financial compensation to finish, is telling him to keep in contact, whenever it pleases him. Him is your partner you are still in love at this moment. Are you sure you want to finish this relationship completely? If you are 100% sure, stop the cash flow right now! Life is hard for everybody, including yourself.

Wish you good luck, with a difficult decision how to break up nicely.

Thanks for your train information,

I made the trip Nakhon Pathom to Hua Hin in 2.5-3 hours. No problem (train did run only 20 minutes late), just one-way for 33 baht and a nice experience travelling 3rd class (no reservation necessary). Hua Hin, clean nice city to relax from busy life, however many westerns. I should return sometime for a visit, but better not alone. Returned by 3rd class dieseltrain (this time no hard seat) again to Nakhon Pathom several days later. If you exit N.P. railroad station the Pagoda is straight in sight and is just a few minutes walk. BTW: Good tip for a short visit. However if you want to continue your journey by taxi at N.P., that is difficult. N.P. shows only a few taxi's on the main roads out (some 10 minutes walk fram RR station), not one taxi is waiting at RR station.

Train time table SOUTHERN LINE: http://www.railway.co.th/English/Time_HTML.asp is pretty accurate. However, when I called the RR station in Hua Hin an additional (not listed) dieseltrain runs back to Bangkok in the afternoon.

Thanks Allane for train travel information,

But reading your answer, I wonder if I need to make reservation (2nd class seat will do for this short trip) and how much time/days in advance (if applicable to make reservation or buy tickets in advance).

Or is it possible to buy a train ticket just before departure (still seat guaranteed)?

Taxi is to easy of a choice, alternative is a minibus, how about train connection BKK-Hua Hin?

Any information available about price, travel time (if I am correct about 3h45), departure station BKK, departure schedule by train? Would it be possible to leave the train at Nakhom Pathom and to catch the next (later) train there with the same ticket, because I want to stay about 2-3 hours in Nakhom Pathom area.

I have no idea what to expect of thai transportation class in trains? No class difference in trains where I come from. Any info about this?

Thanks in advance

HiHi, dumb blonde. I am not into movies, but I get the picture. Do I have to change my colour hair-cut now? No comment on "bend and snap => scream". BB, you are so close to (my) reality, Your view-point and my long distance helps me. This makes it so to easy to dump that ass****.

Who can be completly happy with such a situation as I described. It so happened I met a person, which I like to be around. The sequential situation is not to be forecasted from the start. I meet someone who I finally like to know better and he eventually turns out to be such an easy money case. Only this money question does not make the situation ideal and makes it obvious suspicious. No other major screw up yet to be discovered. So I only remember the fun (illegally blonde, hihi).

BTW:

-1- according to my best friends-colleague's, I am number 1 in meeting extraordinary persons or attracting extraordinary situations (it has proven in the past they turned out very well for me, so give me some slack, thus why should I immediately quit this situation)

-2- /BB/ it is not going to be my funeral (in which way do you mean BB? Mentally or financially! No way and not possible. Trust me, I died already 7 years ago and not because of age or stupidity, I just forgot my funeral)

-3- /PB/ even by western standards "I think too much" and keep silence (not many people are able to understand me, just a few appreciate my company and I can stand only a few people around me)

-4- /PB/ we are both free to do something else, this is so true (but whatever different objectives, for the moment we bear with each other as occasional friends)

-5- /BB/ true, my friend can take care of himself (whatever happened else, if I had not shown up in his path, thus I certainly do not worry about this)

-6- /PB/ "UP TO YOU, MR ......" (I returned this cliche sentence to my friend and get only the word "Puh" and silence back, thus end of conversation, however a few days later he called me again)

Update, to whom it may concern,

Just returned visiting Thailand. First some comments on your previous advice. Thailand is still a rich country to my opinion. I do no need much to life myself, I am not showing wealth to anyone. I am the one who is living in cheap jeans and worn cheap t-shirts in this so-called "rich" western life-style. I am not impressed by poor circumstances Isan people are living. Eating sticky rice in Isan country does not make me smitten. Money makes life easier, but does not give quality to life. I have the experience myself you should work for your own fortune. I succeeded by hard work and study. Nobody gave me money in the past.

My BF's sister and friend invited me to their student apartment, they tribute as much money as possible for our 10 day Nong Khai trip. Despite my denial for any financial tribute to their future benefit, they were willing to meet me. Camping with their Thai friends in National Parks gave me more happiness than the stays in 5-stars hotels in BKK, or beach resorts at Phuket or Samui. Camping is back to basic, I like it, I am used to it during my western holidays. I have no problem to go cheap camping (expect for the leeches, which is the only thing I am not used to).

Back to my topic. My BF is really a materialistic person. Television gives a wrong impression about western life standard. But for sure, I am his only possible "rich" money resource. I should dump him, because he is just asking me for money each time when I meet him. However, he does not ask me for cash money directly anymore. He starts talking to me with the sentence "I will make you angry when I tell you .... (about my money problem) ...... etc. etc." and he shows me his empty wallet. I only reply to him "what can I do about your problem". Each time after this reply, no further continuation of this discussion. Obvious of course which kind of help he wants and it bothers me.

According to my BF I am talking to much (ask to many questions), which he does not like. To many of my questions he gives me silence. But he is now my happy study case, which keeps me busy (in a positive way) and which of course rises a lot of questions towards him. He is very resourcefull, he calls me at the right time (often precise at the minute) whenever I arrive at BKK airport (and I arrived 3 times in Bangkok in October, btw no problem at new airport).

Ooh, did I tell you my BF was a waiter. Yes, this was his second job, beside his regular full-time work. He has found a new full-time job and quit the second waiter job. Now he started a 2 year study, which he takes very serious too. In both cases (job and study) he is not willing to skip attendance. Despite my visits, which could get him free travel trips as I offered several times. He is completely committed 7 days a week with his own regular job and study life. Good point for him.

And he jumped my bones several times during the night we met each other for the first time again. Unexpected experience, full french kissed by him too. I did not need the attention too, I just wanted to sleep. Would not it be easier for him just to go to sleep too, if he is just a regular MB who is not interested in me? Or even easier, just say good-bye after the evening out and sent me back alone to my BKK hotel by taxi? Remember, where he lives it is one hour taxi drive to BKK centre during non-traffic hour. He does not want to meet me in BKK centre. This night together was certainly his initiative. It is sufficient for me to have a fun evening out at a local bar. I do not expect any favours in return for checking the bill during the evening out.

After all, I have seen my MB/BF 3 times in October, between my travel trips in Thailand. Every time he did call me to meet him at his apartment. I only give him a slight clue when I will arrive at BKK airport. Really nice to see him again, always some fun little news to pick up. Last time I met him before going back home, I only spent 200Bat on diner (including 3 bottles of beer with 2 joining diner room-mates of him). And it toke him a long time to admit to me he could not afford the money for the diner and beer. Even though I told him twice I was hungry one hour earlier.

However, he is also asking me why I am not paying him the amount of money he is asking for. To his opinion it seems standard that farangs do so on a regular bases. He tells me frankly I do not like him, because I do not pay the money other white foreigners will do. I tell him I do not like the feeling to buy affection/friendship with my easy western money. He replies, I do not buy him. And truely, I have to admit, he is showing this by his actions towards me. If I do not fit into his schedule, I hear little of him. Finally though, I gave him some money for one busstrip to his home town. For the first time he says thanks and gave me a shy good-bye kiss at a public main street. The case (as he is telling me for months) he should make final arrangements with the bank to mortgage his parent's house on his name for the next 10-20 years. Do not tell me this is another buffalo story too! Because he could have changed it for a different sad story during the last few months, while I did not believe it before without prove from the bank.

For sure, I am very suspicious if my MB/BF is sincere and if it is not only for his financial gain. I am not even sure if he likes men, because he does not confirm that question in words. And yes, he told me he is very upset that I wrote to him he is just interested in me for the (possible) money. Still I consider my BF as a MB, even though I am not spending much cash money towards his benefit. For the moment he is a nice friend with money shortage. He could be just shy or not willing to admit (towards his friends and family) he is in for a gay relationship. Or is not sure about me for a LDR. Or he is just waiting for the big money, by telling me a sad story. Or he is already happy with any little money, which is usefull for him at the moment. Maybe I am just too suspicious. I do not know! I am still confused by his real objectives. Why are Thai people so reserved to express themself? Even when you tell them to speak frankly, they tend to avoid discussions/confrontation with silence. Sorry, I am not a mind-reader.

What is sincere about my MB/BF? Any advice? Your view-point is appreciated.

Talking about material gifts,

The best true gift I can give to some-one is the presence of myself. When spare time is limited to your busy life, this being presence at the occasion is more worth to real friends of mine as any (expensive) gift. I never buy gifts, I just give my presence of time to people. All my true friends understand this view of me. I never transfer material gifts to people anymore, because it is an easy way out for me to show gratitude. It is very easy for me to buy expensive gifts. In fact, I might as well give cash money (which is so unpersonal). But it is difficult to find a very cheap small gift, which fits exactly to the receiver needs. A gift, which is from your heart, which suits the occasion. You all try this very cheap gift thing to some-one you care about and you find out it cost you a lot of time and headache to make the gift perfect. Eventually you will get to know who are your real friends! If they accept your very cheap gift as perfect, you know. If they accept you without a gift, but just your presence, you really know it is allright. Who do you rely on in difficult times? That is my experience. The same way around, I do not want to receive material gifts. Material gifts are crap!!! Material gifts just tells the receiver you buy his attention and the giver/donor expect something back.

Indeed, lasting yellow gold is very ugly to my opinion. Easy to buy (for giver) and easy to exchange (for receiver).

Yes! Send your cards, non-lasting fresh flowers, personally little teddy-bears, etc...! It tells so much more about your personality and feelings to the receiver than any other "great material" gift. Even these gifts are still over-done for my make believe. It is the thought which counts. Do not over-kill people with your material gifts. Your presence should be enough to express feelings to the other person.

Just being able to spent time with eachother is the best gift forever!

I have been reading several topics at this forum for the last 2 weeks. Reading these items gave me peaceful knowlegde how to deal with the situation. Especially together with above viewpoints.

Many thanks, to all of you.

BTW: I am still planning a visit next month to Thailand. If you are interested, I could update you to my story afterwards (if any story available)

Trouble, I completely agree!

(BB) honesty and truth straightforward posts is appreciated by me. I enjoy his comments too!

I agree too, there is nothing going on at my home. I should go out and have more fun, whenever I am around at my own house! The problem is I do not know a safe driver to the city (and back to home). The lifely city is far away from my home village. Public transportation or taxi can not be an option during nightlife.

Sorry, too bad for me?!? I just do wishful thinking. But any real friend can drag me over my domestic lifestyle. Coincidentally this will happen this weekend at my own country. HhipHhip, I am happy for the short moment now! Who knows my future will change?

Trouble: Stay open-minded! Forget standard old boring homely people's daily business. No problem to behave different! Keep up with the younger one's! It gets you energized and up-to-date, which is possitive.

Soo much for marriage!

I do not see any advantage of marriage. There is none! It is just a piece of paper or a stamp in a passport (and stamps will go out in near future use, because of electronic passports).

I am even living in a more liberal country. We do not talk about marriage, but relationships. I can even have the same marital status (and same marital economic benefits) with my brother, sister, mother, father or anyone else who I would call a friend to me. It is just paperwork at the notary. Done in 1/2 hour.

What is the benefit of marriage if you can have a good relationship without paperwork?

BTW: 3million THB? I thought the permanent Thai visa for foreigners was just a bargain for 1million THB.

A lot of partying is going on, if I read this.

You make me jealous (BB), work 10am-7pm! I do work 8am-7pm and additional 150km (including 20-30km traffic jam) each day. At least if I am at my home country. Otherwise I work 8am-9pm internationally (6-7 days a week).

Mardi Gras, New Orleans? I take each year 3 days leave of work to enjoy this festifiy at my home village. This gives me rest, not 3 days sickness (in spite of the alcohol abuse).

Spare time at home? I am happy to be at my own home (alone). Making my own diner and watch TV tube, watch only late night news or a movie. That situation makes me domestic, I guess (which is back to the topic again).

I am happy (but above all, happy to have energy left) to meet someone who's willing to take me party out during the weekend. And know what! Somebody did take the effort for it this next Saturday.

Generalization == Stereotypical

I told this already by myself at my own comment (between brackets) at my post.

I did not read any special Thai charactirization "To like ..." in this post, except Thai speak Thai.

Keep this topic running! Who knows .... what turns up.

By the way, the easy way out is to dump and move on. Good affirmative advice. Like IJWT: it is not worth the trouble. I completely agree.

But this was not my topic, which is: help to understand Thai .....

By my standards I immediately would have dumped a friend with this appalling money intentions. But small sincere actions made me weak to make this decision definitely. F.e. invitation to his home-town and family, show me around local places I would have never seen being alone, etc...

Some way along the line I have made the decision to invest (one-way)energy in this friendship. Sadly to read it is unlikely to change this friendship circumstances (IJWT). According to E.: ask advice to BB to deal this situation. Tell me truth BB.

Thanks IJWT for your clear broad reply. Especially about point -1-, which makes me feel really at ease for my October visit. But I still hope for the best.

In general all the replies are the same old advice, which I figured out by myself and even was given by western: Dump. That would seem the easy way out. And I regret to admit that I have done that more or less by April. But I do not like myself with the easy way out. For sure I am not sure.

That is why I was asking explanation about point -2-. I have great suspicion towards mother's influence for his obligation to support his family. Is somebody capable to have priority of this obligation in very short-term period thinking, above more long-term friendship?

I compare my viewpoint to a living in a straight western world. Thai men behave mysterious of what they like. Is he gay, yes or no? I am used to get a straight answer. I kind a like this type of mystery of thai men. This is not a specially response to Thai gay, but to Thai men in general. The softness of men is the difference between thai and ..... culture (uhm very stereotype). Probably everybody's viewpoint depends on the way of living in each culture.

First I give you some background of the story. I had many opportunities to visit asian countries the last decade, because of my international job. I always refused to go to Asia, non-western countries did not attract me to visit (I am sorry to say this, now I finally experienced Thailand). But last January I had no choice. I had to visit a project in Thailand (one-hour car drive from Bangkok). I never had the intention to get close contact with Thai people. Strangly enough, one thai waiter did reach my attention after three weeks, while I was visiting this restaurant regularly with my colleagues. During the last week of February he invited me back for Thai New Year to his home (Nong Khai). I did not accept immediately. However, I came back to Thailand to visit for holiday in April to meet his family in North-East Thailand. He arranged the trip. Since April it turned out he is mainly asking me for money, even though this was not the case when I met him the first visit in January/February. He speaks reasonable English, but is not able to communicate by e-mail. He never answers my questions by ShortTextMessage or written mail (probably because of his lack of English writing). He is almost completely silent (even during my visit back in April), accept for the money requests. I noticed he observes my actions in the company of other people and nothing seems to dislike my european behaviour to him. Even though he communicates little to me, he arranged afterwards with his younger sister to have contact by e-mail. She and her boyfriend are asking me to return and visit Thailand again to their home-town, next month October during university holiday. I made it very clear to them, I was taking their invitation seriously and they should not expect any money in return of the favour for their hospitality. In spite of this notice, they keep on asking me to visit (which was going on for months). I am still waiting for their reply, once I finally agreed to visit for holiday in October. By the way, just received short reply (took three weeks). Excusing to me, they have a busy time with final tests and reports at university.

After this experience I have some questions:

-1- What do thai people really mean if they invite you at their home to visit again? Is it for real or just for friendly gesture, i.e. making conversation?

-2- Are Thai rural young people still very much under mother's influence to earn money for their parents? With his job he is not able to support his parents. But he recently stopped asking me for money, after he got several "NO's" on his requests. Though he has invited me back for next year Thai New Year to meet again.

-3- Why this Thai silence towards me? He is not always the silent one towards his friends. He avoids answering my questions. But in the same way he does not ask many questions. Seems like a lack of interest towards me. Normally I am the silent person, in this case it is the otherway around.

-4- Is only the money talking to him? Or was it just his curiosity? He gave me only one instruction when meeting his family and local friends back home. "Do not tell he is gay". Could be an obvious explanation after all? However, this instruction was only given to me after my question what to expect when visiting his home.

Should I continue communicate? Which way to make questionable situation more clear to me? Many questions, I have no clue how to act.

Any explanation and-or suggestions are welcome!

P.S. could take a few days to be online again, because I am going abroad for a few days. Working international job, you know.