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kevjohn

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    A Beer For One Penny

    in Jokes - Puzzles and Riddles - Make My Day!

    Posted · Edited by kevjohn

    A man walks into a bar one night. He goes up to the bar and asks for a beer.

    "Certainly, sir, that'll be one cent."

    "One cent?!", exclaimed the guy.

    The barman replied: "Yes!"

    So, the guy glances over at the menu, and he asks: "Could I have a nice juicy T-bone steak, with fries, peas, and a salad?"

    "Certainly, sir", replies the bartender, but all that comes to real money."

    "How much money?", inquires the guy.

    "Four cents", he replies.

    "Four cents?!", exclaims the guy. "Where's the guy who owns this place?"

    The barman replies: "Upstairs with my wife."

    The guy says: "What's he doing with your wife?"

    The bartender replies: "Same as what I'm doing to his business."

    • Like 1

    And "why Not?"

    in Jokes - Puzzles and Riddles - Make My Day!

    Posted

    A man leaves a bar, gets into his car and drives away.

    A mile down the road, he's stopped by a police officer.

    The officer walked up to the driver's side window holding a Breathalyser and said:

    "Good evening sir. We're testing for drunk driving. Would you please blow into this machine?"

    The man says: "Sorry officer, but I can't do that. I have asthma. If I blow in that machine, I will get out of air."

    "Okay, fine. I need you to come down to the station to give a blood sample", said the officer.

    "I can't do that. I have anaemia and if you stick a needle in me I will bleed to death."

    "Well, then we need a urine sample."

    "I'm sorry officer, I can't do that either. I am also a diabetic. If I do that I'll get really low blood sugar."

    "Alright... then you'll have to get out and walk 5 yards along this white line."

    "I can't do that either, officer."

    The officer was getting irritated... "And WHY NOT?"

    "Because I'm dead drunk."

    • Like 1

    Worst Joke Ever

    in Jokes - Puzzles and Riddles - Make My Day!

    Posted

    A man walked into a bar and ordered martini after martini, each time removing the olives and placing them in a jar.

    When the jar was filled with olives and all the drinks consumed, the guy started to leave.

    "Excuse me", said a customer, who was puzzled over what the guy had done. "What was that all about?"

    "Nothing", said the guy, "My wife just sent me out for a jar of olives."

    • Like 1

    Bad Dreams

    in Jokes - Puzzles and Riddles - Make My Day!

    Posted

    Priyanka was taking an afternoon nap on new year's eve before the festivities.

    After she woke up, she confided to Adil, her husband,

    "I just dreamed that you gave me a diamond ring as a new year's present. What do you think it means?"

    "Aha, you'll know tonight," answered Adil as he smiled.

    At midnight, as the new year was chiming, Adil approached Priyanka and handed her a small package.

    Delighted and excited she opened it quickly.

    There in her hand rested a book entitled, "The Meaning of Dreams!"

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