Jeff the Chef

Olaf aka Bricktop, the gang were going in as a "Snatch" squad ????

You're always gonna have problems lifting a body in one piece. Apparently the best thing to do is cut up a corpse into six pieces and pile it all together, and when you got your six pieces, you gotta get rid of them, because it's no good leaving it in the deep freeze for your mum to discover, now is it? Then I hear the best thing to do is feed them to pigs. You got to starve the pigs for a few days, then the sight of a chopped-up body will look like curry to a pisshead. You gotta shave the heads of your victims, and pull the teeth out for the sake of the piggies' digestion. You could do this afterwards, of course, but you don't want to go sievin' through pig <deleted>, now do you? They will go through bone like butter. You need at least sixteen pigs to finish the job in one sitting, so be wary of any man who keeps a pig farm. They will go through a body that weighs 200 pounds in about eight minutes. That means that a single pig can consume two pounds of uncooked flesh every minute. Hence the expression, "as greedy as a pig".

Well, I'd rather F in hell than W in paradise, which to me is all AI is. Q, will AI be able to make a good wet fish smell, with a hint of crap, you know where your mouth is when your nose is in it. lol

If your using steel pots and pans and you start having problems with food sticking to them while cooking it is easy to get them right again, just put a little oil in the bottom and get it smoking hot, the put some salt in to soak up the oil and give it a good scrub while its hot with some kitchen paper towel, but be careful as it will be red hot, ex chef with asbestos fingers.

Like you stole it, same as most of the local pick-ups lol

2014 Ford Focus 1.6 Auto petrol, E20 fuel, 7lts per 100 kms = 14.28kms per litre at 40 kms per hour on average, currently paying around 34.00 baht per litre, so 2.38 baht per km on fuel. Local Ford Main dealer maintains car, on average around 6k Baht per service, including parts, oil change every 7000 kms, had 3 services, one was a cambelt and water pump change. total cost for 3 oil changes/services 18k baht for 25k kms, around 1.39 baht per km. 6500 baht for a years insurance, top tier, in UK I would call it "Fully Comprehensive Insurance". 1650 baht for test for year. Servicing, insurance and test = around 850 baht for a weeks motoring. I do about 5k kms a month on average, which is around 12k baht in fuel. To me a total cost of under 4k baht a week is about right, all in, for the convenience alone its worth it, as I'm out in the sticks.

The Nigerians are lovely people, I'm currently helping one of their Princes get his money out of the country.

Tastes like chicken had a dish of some fried up a few night's ago after one of the locals caught it, know idea what it was but was ok to eat.

Looks good, have you got a link to the seller on Lazada, please.

I've found F/B Marketplace a good source of cheap used cars over here, okay if you know what you're looking at, and know a bit about cars.

When I was a kid a small Trump was a quiet fart, normally brought tears to your eyes :-}

Most of the stuff in the Green shops is hybrid of questionable potency, over priced and for the tourists. For me the home grown naturel weed I get free from the local Thai's that know I enjoy the odd joint now and again is great stuff, I just cut it up roll a fat one and then have a good nights kip. I'll admit is is not the same as I was used to in Europe, strength wise but it does the job for me, I'm 70 and a spliff with me Horlicks, is a great way to end another good day on planet earth.

Yes it has Non O written in pen by the Stay Permit stamp, on the Non-Immigration Visa stamp everything is covered by the big red stamp/seal thing, so thanks Dr Jack, that explains why we had the home visit, is there a thread somewhere on here explaining all the different visa categories and what is needed/expected from Immigration Offices, I'll bet there are many thicko's like me who get confused by it all.

OK fine.

I've no idea, just saying what happened, we did discuss the 2 options of either a Marriage Visa or Retirement, as far as I'm concerned they can do as they please , I'm only a guest of Thailand and am going with the flow.

On the 15th Feb 2023 I moved in with G/F, arrived on a 45 day on arrival visa, first thing we did was go to local Immigration office, Phitsanulok, to notify place of residence, all good, while there I also acquired a 30 day extension, which permitted me to stay till the 29th of March. On the25th March I departed Dom Mueang for Vietnam, returned the following day for another 30 day visa on arrival, no problems, I am 70 years young. Back to Phitsanulok Immigration to declare place of residence again, Where I asked what was needed for a Retirement Visa. Was given a A4 sheet of paper in English of all the requirements. I also informed the Immigration Officer that I had lost my International Driving License and would like to take the Thai driving test, for this I needed a Residence letter for the Test Centre. He said , no problem and after some discussion provide me with 2 letters saying I would need one to open a bank account as well, it cost me 2k baht. Took a week to pass the test, and I was so pleased to pass as I have no Thai, the day I passed test and received my 2 year license I thought now I'm legal to drive my car, phew, dreaded being stopped at a police check. That afternoon thinking I'm on a roll, lets try opening a Bangkok Bank account, into local branch, told them what I was after, showed them my Passport, letter from Immigration, deposited 1k baht and received a bank book. Transferred 22k from my UK bank by Swift for 914k baht on the 19th April. We went on holiday to see friends and had gone on a day trip to Myanmar from Ranong, because of another on arrival visa on our return, back to inform Immigration of the new visa, where I showed them my bank book with the funds in the officer said I would need a letter from the bank dated that day, no problem went to bank deposited another 1k baht and paid 100 baht for a letter, back to Immigration where I was told to return on the 25th May and they would issue me with a Non O with a view to retirement. May 25th back to Immigration and duly received my Non O visa, and a stamp about retirement pending in Thai and a 90 day permit to stay which is good till the 21st Aug. Now the plan is to go with the required Docs sometime in late June when the money deposited has been in my account for over 2 months to get the Retirement Visa as per their office paperwork received in English. We have also had a visit from them at home where everything was very friendly, few photo's taken and our neighbors were interview and signed some paperwork, so all's good here. Hope this helps OP

Thanks for all the replies, very informative. The one I had today was excellent, if I moaned he was a bit more gentle and was very responsive to how I was reacting. My only other experience of Thai massages was in the flesh pots of Pattaya and Bangkok which I found to be more about getting your rocks off than being like anything therapeutic, nowt wrong with that but gone are the days when Jeffers could cum for Britain. To be honest the best massage I've ever had was in Turkey, probably 20 years ago, in one of the oldest bathhouses in Fethiye, a completely different experience to a Thai massage, a 3 stage affair of steam room , olive oil soap body scrub with a soft leather mitten followed by a liberal wash down with buckets of warm water. Then a couple of beers followed by a rose oil massage, all done by men, totally non-sexual but you feel like a million dollars at the end. Takes about 3 hours to do but priceless, including a shave and hair trim it was about 8 quid. I will definitely be going back to this blind guy at least for the next couple of weeks. Again thanks for all the responses.

I'm a 70 year old Englishman, now living happily in Phisanulok out in the sticks with my 55 year old girl friend, she is a devout Buddhist and I have no religion. She is a great believer in having massages on a regular basis and I decided to give it a go out of curiosity. To be honest I was a bit skeptical at first but now after 2 different hour long sessions with 2 different ladies she has put me in the hands of a blind man, from what I can gather he is ex-military and lost most if not all of his sight. I had an hours session on Monday which was completely different to the 2 Ladies both of which have great reputations locally. I have just finished a 2 hour session which while painful in places, I now feel fantastically calm and at peace with the world, is this normal? I suppose what I would like to know is this perhaps a way to a better life and has anyone else on here have any experience of something similar or any advice they would like to share.

So that makes it OK then, it always happens and everybody excepts it. Well done to the Governor for at least trying to bring an end to it.

Would have happily stood on the balcony with Goggle translate on in Chinese on full volume saying "go on then jump you idiot"

The problem with your ongoing process is the damage has been done, Labour or the Tories have between them sowed the seeds to break up the UK, sadly IMHO. Give it another 5 years and we will be a tourist attraction, with a wonderful history of shooting ourselves in the foot.

Now, that I can agree, so what now is the alternative?

As I said previously, Tory Light, aka anything to get into power and not upset the real power in the UK, MSM and the Establishment.

OK, then try this, another good read https://novaramedia.com/2022/07/21/the-forde-report-lays-bare-the-lie-at-the-heart-of-the-medias-war-on-corbyn/

Really, https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=elp18OvnNV0&ab_channel=AlJazeeraEnglish