Somjot

Your frustration is understandable; maybe I can offer some explanation: but before I do that, being an employer in Thailand myself, just a few remarks about labor law in Thailand Most Thais don't even have an employment contract, so practically if they want to quit, they just don't show anymore and that's it, which is quite comfortable yet not the reason for the lack of the contract. It's mostly the employers, who do not want an employment contract with the employees as it gives them a lot of rights and benefits: labor law protects them, they have a vacation entitlement, starting with about 15 days per year, have the right for paid OT, after working hours and get even more for that on the weekend, not to forget health insurance. By law the notice period is 30 days, so both sides can quit the contract by telling one month in advance. In real life the employees can just disappear and there is not much the employer can do about it. It is possible to agree on longer notice periods, so if you really want to know the truth, ask her for her employment contract. If it says 60 days, she has been telling the truth yet failed to inform you in time. If there is no contract, she has a notice period of 30 days by law but as mentioned, if she just doesn’t show anymore, there is nothing her employer can do about it, except not paying her wage for the rest of the month. Now back to your “failed” communication: There are 2 huge obstacles, which will always make a free of misunderstanding communication quite difficult: 1. Sex she is a woman, and men and women will never speak the same language. Just to give you one of many examples: Husband and wife are driving on a highway, when she spots a service station and tells him, in case he is hungry they could stop for a snack. He answers that he is not hungry and keeps driving. Sometime later he realizes that her mood has changed to the worse for reasons, he has no idea of. He, being a man and therefore always communicating very directly understood her suggestion, that they could stop for a snack in case he is hungry and assumed that she isn`t, as in that case she would have told him from the start. She, being a woman and therefore always combining communication and emotion was trying to tell him, that she would like to have a snack and at the same time remind him, how much she cares for him, by asking if he is hungry and now understands his reaction, that he does not care for her in the same way she does. 2. Culture Anthropologists differentiate high context and low context cultures. In Low context cultures, like Northern Europe, The US or the UK direct verbal communication is needed to properly understand the message being communicated and it relies heavily on explicit verbal skills. People communicate more directly by explicitly stating what they want to communicate. High context cultures like most African or Asian countries exhibit less direct verbal and non-verbal communication utilizing small gestures and reading more meaning into these less direct messages. They prefer harmony and well-being of the group over individual achievement and tend to be more aware and observant of facial expressions, body language, changes in tone, and other aspects of communication that are not directly spoken. I am far from being an expert for high context communication but growing up with four women (granny, mother and two sisters) was quite helpful to understand Thai people. For example, I was at some office with a friend, where he asked them for a certain service and the Thai employee answered “Khit gon”, which means, “I`ll think about it.” Later I asked my friend where he was going to get that service. He answered: “I`ll wait for the decision of that guy first before looking elsewhere” “But he refused already.” “Didn't you listen? the guy said, he will think about it.” “Which is a clear no.” “No, a no is a no and a “I'll think about it” is not.” It was. This may be the reason why so many of us think, that Thais are dishonest, sneaky or even liars and cheaters. I am not saying all of them are 100% honest – I mean, we talk about Pattaya, the largest brothel of the world - but it wouldn't surprise me, if in many cases the message just didn't get through. Maybe she was trying to tell you that out of some personal reasons she did not want that job but she also appreciated your efforts and obviously caring for you she did not want to disappoint you so typical for her culture she did it between the lines and with respect and consideration for your feelings but you just didn't get it forcing her to make up a story about some two months notion period. And you on the other side would not have put so much effort in finding her a job if you would not care for her but now interpret her behavior as mendacious and see her as a person who cannot be trusted, which understandably hurts you a lot as I can clearly read from your posts. Buddy, for me it is absolutely clear that you both feel a lot of affection for each other maybe even more. Don't be that stubborn Farang. Ask her for a meeting, swallow your anger as it only results from misunderstandings due to cultural differences, therefore is unfounded and talk to her with a low and friendly voice, explain her, that you would be happy, if she takes that job but would not scold her, if she doesn't and that it would be very helpful for your relationship if in the future she would talk more directly to you as you are coming from a culture where this is the only way of communication. Yet I also read between the lines, that you are very motivated to get her into that job in your friend’s restaurant and - forgive me if I'm wrong - it sounds to me like you want to get her out of some other job and into one, where you can control her. So that in her free time ahe is with you and when she is at work she's under observation while you are free to do, whatever you want to - I guess you know what I mean. If that's the case, all I can tell you is, don't even try. In these things they are always much smarter than we are.

Do you believe that die IDF is commiting murder and rape in Israel, Gaza and the West Bank more or less everyday since Oktober 7?

Try to stand in front of a white wall with nothing else to be seen except your face. Never had a problem.

Assuming your lady is hot so that you want to perform the good old "mattress sport" at least once a day, and even if not, at least her "garden of joy" is reserved for you only, that's 10 Million divided through 7300 (365 days x 20) = 134,- Baht per ride. I mean, I don't know, I am not a native speaker, but I always thought the expression “story of my life” is usually followed by a description of a yearlong streak of bad luck. 134,- Baht for some hottie keeping the bed warm for me every night sounds like a very good deal. Just kidding man, I have been married, for 17 years and I wish it was only 20 million I lost. And as she didn't want the divorce in order to keep her cash cow she sent me a bullet in a little envelope a few days before the court hearing with a little letter stating “if you don't withdraw your divorce petition, the next bullet will not come in an envelope.” I went straight to my lawyer showing him the letter with shaky hands. “That is great” he said with a smile “keep that as evidence” “how is this great?” I answered. “Well, if you get shot, we know who did it.” “Great, I feel so much safer now.” “Told ya”

And what happens then? She will find the next gullible guy and suck him dry. That's their game: Meet – greet – cheat – repeat! The saddest part for me is what I read between the lines of the OP, especially between the last two lines: Danny is not here to take legal action and get his money back. Danny wants her back.

Thanks God those foreigners who take a girl out of the bar, promising her eternal love , would never even think about cheating on her with another bar girl.

@spidermike007 criticized Israel indirectly by writing “finally Israel has done something beneficial …” and is accused immediately as being ungrateful, disgraceful, bigoted and anti-Semitic and even when he informs us, that he actually is a Jew and his comment was not meant to be anti-Semitic but only to criticize the actual government of Israel, he still is ridiculed and confronted with a “proof” that Jews can be anti-Semitic too. I'm not interested in partaking in this discussion, but what happened to “what makes you think that Israel hasn't been doing anything beneficial in the last years?” or “can you prove this statement?” or even prove him wrong by giving counterexamples? Is that all what is left from respectful discussions where we would use arguments based on facts and proof and at the end of the day maybe even agree and if not, at least understand the position of our opponents? Anti-Semitism is rightfully criticized but if you nip any discussion about or criticism of Israel in the bud by screaming “racist” or ”anti-Semite” you are actually creating anti-Semitism which makes you part of the problem.

Guys, show a little compassion. Most likely he had just walked out from the family court after the divorce from his Issaan wife, who is looking for another perfect future-ex-husband right now.

You have to understand that the problem is not you or the product you ordered, it is the customs. They are well known for that. About 10 years ago, when I was arranging my dental lab, which produces all the dentures like crowns, bridges, dentures for my dental clinic in Pattaya, I ordered a milling device from Germany. The price was something around 8000,- €. I had done my homework and knew that any medical device used on humans needs a special import license, but this was a milling unit which clearly was not used on the human body. It fabricated telescopic crowns which would later be glued to human teeth, but no direct contact between the milling unit and the patients. I don't know the actual regulations but at that time all you needed was a certificate of free sale from the manufacturer but no import license for medical devices. So I got the certificate and the manual and an additional letter from the manufacturer, had all that translated in Thai, notarized and certified by the Thai embassy. And I did not choose one of those big shipping companies but a smaller and much more reliable one called SCHENKER. And my contract with Schenker said “door to door service”. Guess what? Customs kept it anyway. Reason: that was a machine used on the human body and needed an import license. No matter how many times I showed them my certified and notarized documents, they said we do not believe it. I told them to unpack it and show me how it could be used on a human head or teeth. They refused. Of course, they knew I was right. They just didn't care. I told them to send it back. They refused again. They told me, if I could not get that licence, they would keep it for some time and then sell it on some auction. I said, then why don't you sell it to me directly, just name your price. Guess what? They refused again, laughing and telling me that whatever happens to the device I would have to pay for the storage, as long as it stays with customs starting from day one since they keep it. I was devastated and had nightmares of me paying for that storage until my very last day. Well sometimes God really works in mysterious ways and the whole problem was solved by coincidence, although my late mother used to say there is no such thing like coincidence. Trust me, more than once things happened to me in Thailand that made me think, maybe she was right. However, being a German dentist in Pattaya I know a few businesspeople and one of them used to invite friends for dinner in his villa every Friday. It was 2014, the military had just taken over the country and most big companies had sent all their managers and CEO's back home, leaving only the less important employees behind. And one of those guys left behind by his company was that handsome young man sitting next to me with a pale face scared for his life as he was sure it will come to a violent end in the next days. “Aww” I said “is that your first coup? Yes, that's bad. In these third world countries you never know when this happens but as soon as those revolutionaries have won, first thing they do is execute all their opponents and after that they will torture and execute all foreigners from countries which were good friends with their opponents”. He stopped eating as he had lost his appetite and stared at me. I continued: “Well, you might be lucky though, maybe some warlord thinks you are pretty and keeps you as his personal mistress”. Everybody else burst out in laughter while the poor guy looked more and more miserable with his jaws dropped. I said “buddy, you're in Thailand, things work differently here, there will be some mobs, a few fights maybe even a few people get shot, but not intentionally more likely because of collateral damage and that's it. That's how they do it here and they do it all the time. So don't worry, no need to write down your last will or say goodbye to your family just relax and enjoy the show. And besides, you're lucky, as you will have a story to tell. You're not the one with problems.” He looked at the others, everybody was nodding, and he relaxed instantly. “What bothers you?” He asked me and I told him the whole story about that very important lab device and my problems with the customs. “Which shipping company did you use?” “Bloody Schenker” “Well” he answered “then maybe both of us are lucky today because as fate would have it I am the last manager from Schenker, who is still in Thailand and I have a good friend at customs, or better a friend with a taste for good wine. You will have your device by next week.” I had to pay for a few bottles of expensive wine plus 30,000 baht storage fee for three months But finally got my milling machine. So my advice, thank you for reading my long story by the way, to you is: either you know somebody, who knows somebody at customs or if your wife has a certain level of education and is not afraid of authorities, she could talk to them, show them how much you paid for that device, convince them that was a single deal and you won't do it again and somehow agree on a reasonable price. Do not go by yourself. They don't negotiate with Farangs. I live here for some years, I speak, read and write Thai on university level, they still would never negotiate with me in such situations. If that doesn't help, consult a lawyer who again could talk them into some deal or at least tell them to destroy (aka keep) the device so that no further storage fees will have to be paid by you. Doing nothing might result in very expensive fees and never forget they are one of the most powerful authorities in the Kingdom.

Another point left out, which came to my mind after reading a few of the last posts: "would love to live in Pattaya, but just can't because of wife/family/lack of money/ mama does not let me out of the basement so to feel less miserable I belittle others who actually can by accusing them of being whore mongers without even knowing their life circumstances".

I may be able to share some insights: First of all, it might not be the best idea to leave a gap, caused by tooth extraction, untreated. The lack of visibility especially in the molar area is without doubt a point, but keep in mind that teeth are not only there to give us a charming smile, but they also have a function. And while the incisors and canines are there to bite chunks of food off the premolars and molars have the job to chew it and make it swallowable and digestible. Now the loss of one molar might not seem to be very tragic but there might be unpleasant consequences: The adjacent teeth might tilt towards the gap, causing a small space between them and the next tooth which again might lead to food impaction and future periodontal problems and bad breath. They might even tilt so much over the months and years that they have to be extracted. The antagonistic tooth might grow into that extraction gap causing the same problems in the opposite jaw. Not to forget, that we might automatically and without realizing it start chewing mostly on the other side which will sooner or later lead to problems in the TMJ (temporomandibular joint) and before we know it we suffer from head and neck pain and swallow tons of painkillers ruining our stomach or liver, depending on the kind of painkiller, believing that we are suffering from a migraine never realizing the real reason. About implants: implants replace the roots of natural teeth. They are mostly made of titanium or ceramic and the difference between them is the ability to “osseointegrate”, which means to stimulate the bone to grow on them. Implantologists use the terms primary and secondary stability. The primary stability comes from the outer taper of the implant which is designed as a self-tapping screw and which allows the implant to stay in the bone without any mobility. This is extremely important for the growth of bone on the implant as bone only grows when there is no mobility, otherwise you get connective tissue which is useless when it has to withstand chewing forces. Once the bone has grown on the implant surface, which takes about 6 to 12 weeks, the implant stands firmly and strong in the jaw, (= secondary stability) and is ready to withstand chewing forces for many years. Now here is the difference between those many implant manufacturers: the strength of the bond between bone and implant surface dramatically depends on the design of that surface. It took scientists many years until they found out that bone does not grow on precious metals and also does not grow one smooth surfaces, they have to be a bit rough, Now there are many ways to get the surface of a titanium implant rough, like etching, sandblasting, light bow and so on and depending on the concentration of the acid you use, or the granulation when you sandblast or the energy of that light bow and the time you expose the implant to the process, you will get a different kind of roughness. And there is such a thing like the perfect roughness. The big companies with the huge funding did years and decades of research until they found it and they guard that secret same as Coca-Cola does it with their recipe. The smaller and cheaper companies produce only copies of those implants which look exactly like the originals but not if you look at them in the microscope and definitely not when it comes to Osseointegration. Unfortunately, it might take years before you know it. Now let's say, the implant has perfectly grown into the bone, and you want to get your supraconstruction, which can be some kind of denture or a bridge or a single crown. Depending on what kind of supraconstruction you need you will get a different kind of abutment, which is some kind of intermediate piece and will be screwed into the inner taper of the implant. Here comes the next catch: the longevity and durability of your super construction depends on the precision of the connection between abutment and implant. Again, to my experience, cheaper manufacturers use cheaper ways of production and as everybody knows the more precise your product has to be the more difficult it is to manufacture it. Many of those companies will give you statistics saying that after five years 96% of their implants are still in the jawbone of their patients. True. But what they will not tell you is that only 75% of the dentures or crowns are still in their patients’ mouths. Another thing that you must know before getting implants is that every implant manufacturer has its own tools and parts and sizes and there is no US standard or DIN norm, meaning you cannot use the screwdriver of manufacturer A to fix an abutment from manufacturer B which again will not fit into the implant of manufacturer C. Why is that important? Well, imagine you get an implant with a single crown on it, and everything goes well. Years later you lose one or more teeth next to that implant and now you want to use that implant to fix a bridge. All you have to do, actually not you but your dentist, is to exchange the abutment by another one which is made for bridges and fix that bridge on it. But what if your implant manufacturer is just a small local one in your home country and does not distribute worldwide but you live in Thailand by now? That will cost you many phone calls and extra money to get not only the abutment for your implant system but also the right tools, which are normally very expensive. Worst case scenario, and trust me this happens every day now with all those no name cheap implants from China: What are you going to do if your implant manufacturer does not exist anymore? Jackpot! No more spare parts for your body. All you can do then is explanation and insertion of another implant system, which is not only very expensive but a real mess too. I've done a few explanations and every single time my treatment room looked as if they had just filmed another scene of “Vikings”, as you have to cut a lot of bone around the implant in order to get it out. I hope I could have been of some help and I apologize for my horrible English - I am not a native speaker.

Very good advice. You clearly know Thai mentality well. If the guy is no army general or similar calling the police might help.

What if she's real? Polydactilism is well known amongst medics. Imagine the handjob she could give you. Ok, I admit, pervs are quite common amongst medics.

Just a general thought: Many of us are siding with Israel, because we're used to. Because for decades we've been told that Muslims are bad and evil. Because we're used to being lied to by our governments, that a few 1000 terrorists are hiding in one country, or the leader of another country is producing weapons of mass destruction. And this gives us the right to attack these countries, kill hundreds of thousands of their civilians, who don't know who is hiding in their country, what their leaders are up to not to mention, that they could do nothing about it, if they knew. We call them insurgents, kill them by the Thousands and deny the captured opponents any rights, because we declare them as combatants, not soldiers, which again gives us the right to torture them. And we applaud our soldiers, because they are “out there” for all of us, forgetting that “out there” is another person’s home, where he lives, works and raises his children. We condemn Putin for his attack on the Ukraine, where within two years about 500 children have been killed, while at the same time Netanyahu is getting standing ovations in the US Congress for lying in their faces by saying - just to name one example - only 2 dozen civilians have been killed in Gaza, despite everybody in the room knew that his army has murdered more than 14,000 children in less than one year. What is wrong with us? There is one fundamental truth: There can't be any double standard in justice Whenever you apply double standards, it will lead to aggression and sooner or later to catastrophe - on both sides. This is inevitable. It is understandable that some people feel comfortable and safe with double standards, as long as they are on the side of the oppressing group. But this is a very dangerous Mindset. Because once the oppressed group has been eliminated, the oppressing group will look for new victims and sooner or later will do so within its own ranks. And before you know it, you end up being some kind of “Palestinian” yourself. Happened in Nazi Germany all the time. There can be only the same justice for everybody.

This is simply not true. The reason they're dying is because the IDF is flattening their country and killing everyone living there, 2/3 of them being women and children, while at the same time the Palestinians have no place to go. Would he make the same choice if his parents or his children would be held hostage in Gaza? Would you? This was never about freeing the hostages. I don't know if you've heard about the Hannibal directive: if a IDF soldier sees an Israeli being taken hostage by a Hamas member, he has to shoot them both. According to your “legal logic”: If a huge guy grabs a girl by the pussy and she slaps him and in return the guy rapes her and breaks all her bones, the girl is to blame for her broken bones? If she wouldn't have slapped him, she would never have ended up in coma. Right? I mean sure, it wasn't a good idea to slap that big guy. But I guess we both know, who belongs into jail. 7th October was a horrible act of terrorism. No question. But the response of Israel … sorry but I just don't see the proportionality.