Aust24R

TandG that really resonates. Yes her mother has a huge influence. As mentioned now (and I write from Samui as it's Chinese holidays and I wanted to face her with this, is that she now admits, and her friends i know concur, that she's been going out for months to meet other farangs and go back to their hotel with them. About the same time as the debt demands came, so did you suspicions grow. She wants a divorce, first I wanted to confront her have to face as her husband of 5 years with this, and I've just read @BritManToo 'advice of not agreeing to a sobriety divorce too soon and making her sweat. I've only 4 days on the island, but I've told her all monthly financial support has stopped. This work contract ends in 4 months time and my plans were an early retirement in the kingdom with my wife. Then everything quickly turned pear shape. I had my suspicions and came down a few days ago

Thank you Dolf

TandG thank you. I appreciate you took the time to write

Garry thank you, I'm grateful to learn from your post

Thank you mate, I just feel I must

Thank you OMF, I will take your wisdom onboard. This is what I have noticed too. “I’m under so much pressure with this heavy debt” she said more than once to me.

Xylophone your thoughtful words are a gift thank you, I'll keep them with me,

How do you walk away when you're married in Thailand, is it up to her to start a contested divorce? She has no grounds to seek one, I've been a decent husband. Right now, walking away seems the only option though, it's the only situation I have available now. She's broken all contact

Kinnock yours is exactly the support I need to read at the moment, thank you mate. It is painful yes, I'll keep your post on hand when I need a bit of extra support. She says she wants a divorce, but she has no grounds for a contested divorce when it's only her that wants it, I've been a good and decent husband. Should I just walk away as many are suggesting?

That's what will need to happen EK, I know. I can get my own visa

Dolf I think it was the mother trying to add some sort of credibility to the demand, suggesting I give it to the wife, and that she'd silently give it to her mum. Something like that. I don't know. But I didn't do it.

Unfortunately RS, I would have preferred the last 5 months to be happy and peaceful rather than absorbing wife's constant anger from 6000kms away and her mother's cold demands. But I am learning, better now than never. Regards from a late lunch in China. I'll go down next week

I will follow your wisdom Dolf, no more to them. Below is a small sample from a cold and demanding mother last week. I didn't send anything to her

Thank you Dolf, there won't be. With retirement planned for August I won't be throwing it away to her or them anymore

Thank you mate

Your choice RS Thank you mate, I'll head down next week

I know Marin, now I know

Thank you for that Northern. It's good advice I know

I read, I try to learn mate

I don't know either OS360, at first I was a bit nieve but I learn fast. I have always been steadfast in saying I won't pay her mother's debts. It's not right and I didn't incur them. I'm flying down to Samui next week in Chinese holidays. I have a right to see my wife, not just be passively accepting of all this from 6000 kms away. I'm a nice guy you know, I do my best, but I expect this to be confrontational. But she's my wife, I have a right to see her and talk

Marin thanks, I only found out the truth last night, although I've suspected it. It was a pretty awful video call I can tell you. You are absolutely right, all has stopped now

I wanted to say thanks again to those replying with constructive help thank you. The mother's demands to help pay off her debt has almost become a moot point overnight. I'm working in China until July, my wife went back to Thailand in November as she wanted to try a job. I've been absorbing her anger for months from a distance. Overnight (after I started this post), I managed to talk with her on video. It wasn't good. She admitted she'd been with other men in these last months on Samui since she left here. Again, the mothers demands have almost become incidental compared to the bigger picture. We are still married. I have a right to see my wife and talk. But now it'll be limited to knocking on her door as she's refusing to talk and has blocked. Yet she still happy took this months salary a few weeks ago. No more i can tell you. I'm trying to keep my head above water with it all. Regards

Thank you all

Thank you mate, I appreciate it