Age 1 to 5 mum is best. Age 6 to 20 father is best. Learn to be a man. Guys brought up by single mothers usually aren't much good at anything apart from cooking.
I have seen psychologists say the opposite. The OP is in a bad marriage. Hanging around won't be good for the kid if toxic. He is better off leaving. Thai society favours Thais also.
A 4yo will barely remember that. Most memories are formed from age 5 onwards. I have no memories at all under age 5. I have no idea what happened when I was 3yo and who said what.
In 95% of cases a girl is better off with her mum. You raised an exception. The same sex parent is the best role model unless they are really bad in your example. Boys need to learn how to be men and girls need to learn how to be women.
So you want fathers to teach daughters about periods, bras and being a woman. How ridiculous. Then you want mothers to teach sons about cutting trees down and changing a tyre.
What makes little sense is the ideas people come up with.
Keep moving from city to city. Start in Chiang Mai and go south by train. When you hit Malaysia do a u turn and go north east. Thailand is not boring unless you stay in 1 place.