123Stodg

Quick update about the cake shop girl, since a few people here told me to stop guessing and actually find out something. I decided to stop overthinking and just ask her out. Nothing fancy. I just said there is a new place nearby that does good iced drinks and asked if she wanted to go after her shift. To my surprise she said yes without hesitating. We met that evening and it was actually really nice. She talks more outside of work, as I expected she might, and she is funny too, she keeps the conversation going, and I definitely felt a bit of a spark. At one point she touched my arm while she was laughing, and I thought that was a good sign. For a moment I thought I had been completely wrong about her being into women. Then things turned a bit odd. When I suggested we grab dinner she suddenly changed. She said she needed to get home early. She looked a bit tense, like she wanted to leave but did not want to look rude. We walked to the BTS station together and she kept a bit of distance. Not awkward exactly but definitely acting different from how she had been earlier. Now I am right back to square one I think. Either she realized I was interested and wanted to keep things just friendly only, or she actually is into women as I suspected earlier and the idea of it possibly shifting into something romantic made her uncomfortable. Or maybe I am just reading the whole thing wrong and she simply had to be somewhere. I like her. I am curious. I do not want to make things uncomfortable for her or for myself though. At the same time I do not want to waste a lot of time on something that is never going to go evolve. So here is the question. Should I try asking her out again to see if she opens up more the second time, or should I take that sudden shift in her behavior as a quiet signal that she is not interested at all in another meeting.

Okay, I need to ask this because I’m genuinely confused. There’s a woman I chat with sometimes who works at a shop where I buy local cakes from. She’s friendly, seems nice, I find her attractive, and so I’m curious. But based on the way she dresses sometimes and some of her mannerisms, I’ve started wondering: what if she’s lesbian and isn't interested in men. Is there a polite way to find out, or is this one of those questions that’s just universally off-limits? We can ask Thai people all sorts of things without raising an eyebrow. Bodily functions, being overweight, even topics like transgender issues don’t usually cause offense. So why would this be any different? I’m genuinely asking because I don’t want to be rude, but I’m also curious. Is there a way to approach this respectfully, or is it better to just let it remain a mystery? Another option would be just to ask her out, but if she says no, I'm left wondering whether it’s because of her sexual orientation or something personal. That’s why I’d like to clear up the question of sexuality beforehand, so at least I know where I stand.

Based on five of your recent topics listed below, and your other two about suicide, one can almost imagine you were recently misled by a Thai girlfriend who took a bunch of money from you for her family, then left you, making you bored and unhappy, and tossed a few bits of advice your way on her way out. 1 – How many women is enough? What’s the point you give up? 2 – Supporting extended family. Do you get asked to support the extended family or know of people who do? 3 – Peace n Serenity. Do you crave it or need action? 4 – How often do you feel bored? I’m bored out of my skull atm. Not sure what to do. 5 – Taking advice. Do you take advice from women?

Back again with an update I didn’t exactly expect to be making when I first posted about my situation on here, but things can change quickly and sometimes life takes turns you don’t see coming. Long story short, I ended up breaking things off with the bubble tea girl. No big blowout, no drama. The truth is I started feeling like I was forcing it. The fun was there at the start, everything felt fresh and exciting, but then I could feel myself losing interest. Hard to explain, it just felt like the spark wasn’t there anymore. I figured it was better to be honest rather than drag it out and waste both our time. We had a pretty calm conversation, bit of emotion but nothing messy. I tried to be decent about it, gave her a bit of money, and that was that. Fast forward a few weeks, and here’s where things get a bit messier. I’ve been seeing someone new… who just so happens to be one of her friends. Yeah, I know how that sounds. Believe me, I didn’t plan it. We’d met a couple of times before in passing, I always thought she was cute but obviously never acted on it. After the breakup we bumped into each other a couple of times in the BTS station, started chatting on LINE, met for dinner, and well… here we are. It’s been casual, low-key, but honestly I’m enjoying it. She’s a bit older than the first girl, a bit more English, bit more laughs, and a lot less of that wide-eyed innocent routine. It just feels easier, more relaxed, less pressure. No talks about family obligations or sending money anywhere… at least not yet. I know some of you are going to say this is a disaster waiting to happen. Part of me agrees. But part of me also thinks Bangkok is Bangkok and these things just happen sometimes. I’m not really sure what kind of fallout I’m heading for. I do not know if I’m setting myself up for headaches, some revenge drama, or maybe nothing at all. I’ve kept things under the radar for now, but it is only a matter of time before word gets back to the ex and I doubt she will be thrilled. So, how bad of an idea is this really? Am I just overthinking or am I basically poking a sleeping snake here? I felt like I got out of the first situation clean, no major bridges burned, but now I’m half expecting a drama bomb to go off when this all comes out. Anyone else been through something like this? Not sure if I should bother keeping it quiet or just accept this is Thailand, circles are small, and things could get messy no matter what. Hopefully I’m not walking straight into a minefield.

GHEY!

So, I wanted to post a quick follow-up here rather than reply to my original thread (which has kind of taken on a life of its own). I ended up having a proper talk with my girl about the money issue. I brought up the family support thing and asked where the pressure was really coming from. She got a bit emotional and said her parents have been asking questions, especially about me being older and not meaningfully contributing anything to her life. I guess in their eyes the situation makes me look unserious, uncaring or even disrespectful. We talked it through and settled on something a bit lower at 20,000 baht a month. I’ll explain in a minute why I even pushed for less, when in fact the amount itself really isn't the issue for me. But she seems happy with this figure, her family is apparently fine with it, and honestly, it’s not a big burden for me financially. I would’ve gone for 30K if that’s what it will take, and if it gives her some peace of mind, I figure that's worth something in itself. That said, I’d be lying if I said there isn’t a small part of me wondering if the pressure really is from the family, or if she’s just framing it that way to make the request sound more acceptable. That’s why I attempted to nudge the amount down a bit, I wanted to test the waters, see how she’d respond to a lesser figure, and try to suss out if I'm just getting fully rinsed here. She’s always been affectionate and sweet, and I want to believe it’s all sincere, but this is Thailand after all. Part of me can’t help but wonder if I’m slowly sliding into a situation where I’m paying for affection, but whether I really am or not remains the big question. Maybe I’m just overthinking. Maybe it’s totally genuine. And I'd feel like a complete knob if I was making any wrong assumptions about her. But the thought still creeps in now and then. Does agreeing to this kind of setup mean I’ve already lost my sensibilities and fallen straight down into the rabbit hole? Or is this just part of the deal when you’re a foreigner dating someone younger with a low salary and family obligations? Like I said, I’m fine with the money, I just don’t want to end up being a fool who thought he had something meaningful, when really, maybe I'm just another foreign sponsor in a Thai romance that comes with a fixed monthly fee. Or maybe I should just give her the full 30,000 baht if it simply makes everyone happy. After all, it's not really that much money these days, is it?

Been on here a while now and never thought I’d be making this kind of post, but life has a way of surprising you I guess. So here’s the story. I’ve been in Bangkok for a while, had a few girlfriends in the past, working for an overseas company now, just keeping my head down. I’m not one of those bar scene guys, never really got much into all that. A few months ago I met this amazing girl who works at one of those little bubble tea kiosks in a Skytrain station. She’s in her early 20s, very sweet, doesn’t speak much English and my Thai isn’t great either, but somehow we click. I used to stop by and buy tea from her a few times a week, then eventually we started chatting more and I asked for her LINE. Things moved slowly at first, but now we’ve been officially dating for a few months. And honestly, I’ve been having the time of my life. No drama, no stress, she’s affectionate, fun, and makes me feel 20 years younger. We go out, we laugh, we do things together, and she never nags or causes problems. I’ve read all the horror stories, but this feels a bit special and different in some way. The intimacy is amazing too, which I didn’t expect with the language and age gap, but it just works. Now here’s where I’m looking for a bit of perspective. She recently brought up the idea of me helping her send money to her family. She mentioned around 30,000 baht a month would really help them out. I know that’s about double what she earns, but she didn’t demand it or push hard, just brought it up gently. She’s still working full time at the kiosk and hasn’t asked me for anything else. I’ve never been in this kind of situation before. I always used to read posts on here and think “nah, I’d never be that guy”, but now here I am. And I’m honestly not sure how to feel about it. The truth is, I can afford it, I don’t really care about the money, and I am genuinely enjoying my time with her. She’s made my life feel lighter, happier. I don’t get any sense that I’m really being used, but I also know how brutally honest some of you can be, so I figured I’d throw it out there for some feedback. If both of us are happy and it’s working, is there actually anything wrong with it? As I said, I don’t mind giving her the money. She makes me happy. So I’m thinking, why not.

So just pure hypothetical: say you wander into one of them cheeky massage places in Pattaya for a bit of a happy ending, and instead of the usual setup, you end up with some dude in a dress, bit of lippy on, and a decent pair of bolt-ons, fumbling about with your old chap ’til it shoots confetti. Now, you didn’t touch him, he never got his gear off, and you kept your eyes closed the whole time thinking of Kylie Minogue. Does that make you ghey? Or is it more of a spiritual cleansing via manual relief? Just trying to clarify for a mate, obviously. I is here doing the Lord’s work asking the important questions. 😂

My dad orphaned me growing up in Australia when I was at a pretty young age. It was a pretty rough situation.

The 7-Elevens I buy from are large, like mini supermarkets. I buy fresh and hard-boiled eggs, freshly cut-up fruit, bananas, packaged fresh salads, protein drinks, butter, nuts, unsweetened Japanese green tea, etc. Very little of what I buy in there is unhealthy. They also have a counter with a few chairs where I can sit and eat something. Very convenient and 24 hours. Much preferable to big super markets.

Why is Larry so happy? Anything to do with Mrs. Smith?

????

False. As of January 2025, Thailand’s annual inflation rate rose to 1.32%, up from 1.23% in December 2024.

Are you not keeping up with your bedroom duties? With all that cash you have now, maybe you could hire somebody to do that for you.

Wrong topic.

I couldn't do it.

20,000 would be a bit too tight and restrictive.

Medical cost is an important issue as you mentioned. But that is something you would have to consider no matter where you live in the world, unless of course you have free or inexpensive government healthcare provided to you in your home country. 55,000 Baht sounds like kind of a lot to be spending to live in a rural part of Thailand, especially if you don't go out drinking on a regular basis. I think a lot of people probably do it for a less than 55K. But I guess two people, and if you have rent to pay and other fixed expenses, then maybe that's what it costs. Golf and restaurants 2 to 3 times a week up country shouldn't be that much extra in terms of cost though, would it? I probably spend about that much on average every month myself and I'm just one person. Expenses just seem to happen. But as I said, I'm not really on a budget.

Thank you, Charlie. I agree with everything you said. I just want to add that it’s not necessarily required to live in a rural area of the country to keep costs down. It really depends on your setup. If you own an apartment in the city, don’t have a car, and don’t have a family to support, you can probably live quite affordably in an urban area as well. But that requires a that requires an initial investment as well. Food and many basic necessities in Thailand are still relatively inexpensive though. I probably spend more than I need to, but since I’m not overly concerned about budgeting, I don’t think too much about it. That said, I believe others could also live affordably in the city if they manage their expenses properly I don't live in an expensive apartment. The biggest costs in Thailand are usually accommodation and owning a car. Beyond that, most expenses come down to entertainment and luxury purchases. But if you live modestly, food is still very reasonably priced and would likely be your biggest regular expense.

A friend of mine who lives overseas and is retiring this year sent me an email asking if I think Thailand is still a good place to spend long periods of time if you are on a limited fixed budget. Specifically, he wanted to know if it is still possible to enjoy life here without spending much on bars, restaurants, women, and other luxuries. I could not really answer his question from that perspective since I have never had to watch my spending in Thailand too closely, but it got me wondering. For those living in Thailand on a tighter budget, can it still be enjoyable, or has the cost of living, especially with rising inflation over recent years, made it much more difficult to be happy in Thailand?

For decades, Thailand has been labeled a “Third World” or "Developing Country", laden with corruption, etc, but in many ways, it now offers a better quality of life than some so-called developed nations. So how do we measure the comparisons? While many Western countries struggle with rising costs, declining public services, decaying infrastructure and increasing social tensions, Thailand quietly provides an alternative that many find more appealing. Affordability, safety, public services and overall happiness, has Thailand already surpassed the West in the most important aspects of daily life? Cost of living is an obvious advantage. In Thailand, one can enjoy high-quality food, affordable healthcare, and comfortable housing at a fraction of what it costs in many Western cities. Healthcare for locals is accessible and inexpensive and dining out is not a luxury but a daily norm. Public transportation, especially in Bangkok, is efficient, modern, and inexpensive compared to the overpriced, outdated, aging and often unreliable transport systems in many Western countries like the US and UK. Crime and public safety are also worth noting. While no country is without crime, Thailand generally feels safer than many urban centers in the West, where violent crime rates have also risen a lot in Western cities in recent years. Community cohesion remains strong in Thailand, with people still valuing social interactions and respect for others. Inequality surely exists, but it doesn’t feel as stark or socially divisive in daily life as it does in some Western countries where there is a higher percentage of poverty and homelessness now than in Thailand. Lifestyle in Thailand is another factor that seemingly sets it apart. The balance of work hard to enjoying life is often better in Thailand, with less emphasis on the constant grind and more appreciation for leisure, family, and social life. Culture and a sense of happiness contribute to an overall quality of life that many Westerners also find refreshing. So, is Thailand still really just another “developing country,” or has it quietly outpaced the West in many important aspects of daily life that most people heavily value? While some will argue that Western nations still lead in technology, quality of life isn’t measured by GDP alone. More and more people might be thinking Thailand now offers a better, freer, and more fulfilling way to live than what used to be considered the dream of life of living in a developed Western society.

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Never

Why does anything in this world matter? Why does a dog lick his own nads? Because he can.

One of the most awkward language habits I often see in Thailand is when foreigners refer to other foreigners as “Farang” while speaking with each other in English. Sure, it’s a term that some Thais still use to describe Westerners, but when used by an expat or tourist, it comes off as awkward and often just pretentious. Are these people trying to sound more integrated into Thai culture? Is it an attempt to flaunt their (often very limited) Taxi-Thai language skills? In most cases, it seems to be short-term visitors or those with only a surface-level understanding of the Thai language who use “Farang” instead of simply saying “foreigner” or “Westerner.” They may think it makes them sound more in tune with local culture, but to many long-term expats, it just sounds unnatural and even cringy. Most foreigners who have lived in Thailand for a long time don’t use the word “Farang” when speaking with other foreigners. They understand that in an English conversation, words like “expat,” “tourist,” "Westerner", or “foreigner” make more sense. The only real reason for a foreigner to even use “Farang” is when speaking Thai with a Thai person, especially if that Thai person doesn’t speak much English, but even then there are better words in Thai which don't carry any kind of negative stigma. So why does this habit persist? Maybe some foreigners enjoy peppering their English with the small handful of Thai words they know, hoping it adds a bit of local flair to their speech. But to others, it just sounds forced, unnatural, noob, and in poor taste.