FriscoKid

Impressive. You must be quite ambidextrous to be able to manage that all by yourself, The Bob.

You always have nothing interesting to add. Worst troll ever. Steady as she goes.

A beer and then a w*nk, The Bob?

Documentary photo of Bob's wife at work from the book. To imagine she was actually young at one time.

The book is also filled with lots of black-and-white photos. Some of them are pretty atrocious.

The title of this topic says it all. Unless someone creates an anthology of all of Bob Smith’s AN posts, then here’s my entry: My Wife in Bangkok by Rory O’Merry, published in 1990. If you don’t want to take my word for it and still feel the need to subject yourself to literary masochism, you can read it online for free via the link below. May the gods of good taste have mercy on your soul. https://archive.org/details/mywifeinbangkok00omer Literary synopsis: “My Wife in Bangkok: A Romantic Guide to the City” by Rory O’Merry, first published on April 1, 1990, offers an introduction to Bangkok’s sex industry at the end of the last millennium. The book has been characterized as a blend of personal narrative and guidebook, providing insights into the socio-cultural dynamics of Thailand’s sex industry. However, it has received mixed reviews, with some readers critiquing its writing quality and the author’s justifications for his involvement in the industry.

Forced himself to leave his room in Pattaya last night: NEVER HAPPENED—Forced himself to leave the janitor’s closet to clean up vomit in the psych ward. Felt like sleeping all day because he was depressed: HAPPENS 24/7—Not depression, just exhaustion from pushing a mop for minimum wage. Ended up in a karaoke bar: NEVER HAPPENED—Only karaoke he hears is the garbled voices from the hospital’s recreation room TV. Met a 72-year-old guy from the UK with a big smile and positive vibes: NEVER HAPPENED—Only smiling 72-year-olds he sees are the ones reminding him he missed a spot on the floor. Pretended to smile back but secretly resented him: HAPPENS 24/7—Pretends to be normal, but deep down, hates everyone with a life. Guy was from Leeds and worked as a house painter: NEVER HAPPENED—If he did exist, at least he has a real job. Guy visits Pattaya twice a year for six weeks rather than living there permanently: NEVER HAPPENED—But let’s pretend this random grandpa did exist. What a crime that he enjoys life instead of moving permanently into a red-light district. Became jealous and pressured him to sell everything and move to Pattaya immediately: HAPPENS 24/7—Classic move. Tries to convince other people to ruin their lives so he doesn’t feel so alone. Kept shouting “Do it! Do it!” until the old man escaped to the toilet and never came back: NEVER HAPPENED—More likely, he was shouting at his own reflection in the mop bucket again. Would like to compile statistics on old men visiting Pattaya rather than moving there: NEVER HAPPENED—What “statistics”? Guy can’t even count his own work hours correctly. Asks why men over 70 visit Thailand instead of moving there permanently: BECAUSE THEY HAVE A LIFE—Unlike someone who spends his days fabricating sob stories online. Wants to know what these men do back home when they aren’t in Thailand: THEY HAVE JOBS, HOBBIES, AND FAMILIES—Unlike the guy making up these posts between scrubbing urinals. Suggests the only reason they visit Thailand is for sex: CLASSIC PROJECTION—Meanwhile, his closest experience to a real woman is the wet floor sign he dances with during night shifts.

Bob, don’t take your shirt off and get your tits out at the beach. It’s going to be nothing but problems for you. You will end up scaring the natives and causing young children to start crying because they will think they just saw Frankenstein’s wife out on a rampage.

What about "Has no Thai wife/partner so thrives on speaking with other angry, drunk, broke, old men?"

*Thai husband posing as brother.

It's already provided for free by AN. It's the leaderboard showing the most active 5 posters during the last 7 days on every page of the site.

Attacked by monkeys in Lopburi and reported it to police: NEVER HAPPENED—The only primates he interacts with are the ones staring back at him in the bathroom mirror at work. Went back to talk with the monkey that attacked him: HAPPENS EVERYDAY—It’s called morning shift at the mop station. Walked down Soi 6 in Pattaya and every fat tatted bar girl ignored him: NEVER HAPPENED—Hasn’t walked down any soi since the only “trip” he ever takes is from the janitor’s closet to the break room. Ordered a comfort car from Bolt and they sent him a utility vehicle instead: NEVER HAPPENED—His last comfort ride was a mop bucket with wheels and the shopping cart he nicked from behind Coles. Sent 43 complaint emails to Bolt about the car: NEVER HAPPENED—Has no email access, unless you count scrawling complaints on toilet stall doors. Probably just scribbled “NOT HAPPY” on a square of toilet paper and flushed it. Is taking happy pills prescribed by a local doctor: NEVER HAPPENED—Copied a Bob Smith post from a week ago, unless you count sniffing industrial strength toilet cleaner when no one’s looking. Repeatedly goes to Pattaya for a month and hates it every time: NEVER HAPPENED—The only bars he visits are the ones on the windows of the institution he cleans. Left Australia to visit Thailand: NEVER HAPPENED—Only thing he’s departing from is reality. Whines like a pig and has mental health issues: HAPPENS 24/7—You’d think someone at work would have referred him for treatment by now. His real therapy session is posting these attention-seeking sob stories. Stayed in his hotel room all day feeling unlucky: NEVER HAPPENED—Stayed in the janitor’s closet all day sulking about how no one believes his stories. Feels depressed because “there is no sun” in Thailand: NEVER HAPPENED—Probably just forgot to take his sunglasses off indoors again. Girls in Soi 6 welcomed other tourists but gave him blank stares: NEVER HAPPENED—The only blank stares he gets are from his co-workers when he starts talking about his imaginary adventures. Evil Keel is driving across America and unable to help him up Jomtien Hill: NEVER HAPPENED—The only “hill” he’s struggling with is pushing his mop cart up a wheelchair ramp. Will never come back to Thailand because there is no happiness: NEVER HAPPENED—Can’t return to a place he never visited. Thinks Pattaya is full of people who just want money: TRUE—He read that on the internet because that's how businesses work in tourist traps. Asks ‘what’s wrong with me?’: HAPPENS 24/7—A question we all stopped trying to answer a long time ago. Posts nothing but windups and trolls on AN: HAPPENS 24/7—When your job involves scrubbing piss off floors, fantasy writing is a natural escape. People read his posts on AN and believe there is any truth in what he posts: HAPPENS 24/7—Apparently, gullibility is alive and well. Is becoming a serial AN pub pest and needs to go to get a life: HAPPENS 24/7—Unfortunately, no Bolt service can ever take him there. Is broke, lonely, depressed, has nothing to do and is stuck in Australia: HAPPENS 24/7—If only he could send himself 43 complaint emails about it. But at least he’s still got his mop and a dream.

Bonus track: “The Ballad of Gammaglobulin” Verse 1: Oh, there’s a man in Chiang Mai town, A keyboard king with a thorny crown, Gammaglobulin’s his name, they say, A troll who types his nights away, With a passive jab and a smug little grin, He sneers at the world and the mess he’s in, A god in his mind, so high and so fine, But the forum just groans at his every line, Chorus: Oh, gamma, gamma, what a show, A bigot’s heart in a troll’s shadow, Bragging loud with an IQ so grand, A lonely pest in a far-off land, Spam and nonsense, childish flair, He craves their love but they just stare, Gammaglobulin, the forum’s blight, A petty king in the digital night, Verse 2: He loathes the West, he scorns the Thai, A secret hate he can’t deny, But still he posts, day after day, For scraps of praise in a twisted play, “Beneath me, all!” he cries with glee, A high-IQ myth, pure fantasy, Yet the threads he floods with garbage bold, Are tales of a soul both cruel and cold, Chorus: Oh, gamma, gamma, what a show, A bigot’s heart in a troll’s shadow, Bragging loud with an IQ so grand, A lonely pest in a far-off land, Spam and nonsense, childish flair, He craves their love but they just stare, Gammaglobulin, the forum’s blight, A petty king in the digital night, Bridge: Ludicrous rants, a childish spree, He types away in anonymity, A passive jab, a low-key slight, He stirs the pot with grim delight, But deep inside, the truth is plain, A hollow man in a troll’s domain, No god, no genius, just a bore, A pest they wish would post no more, Chorus: Oh, gamma, gamma, what a show, A bigot’s heart in a troll’s shadow, Bragging loud with an IQ so grand, A lonely pest in a far-off land, Spam and nonsense, childish flair, He craves their love but they just stare, Gammaglobulin, the forum’s blight, A petty king in the digital night, Outro: So here’s your song, you forum fiend, A mirror held to the mess you’ve weaved, Keep typing trash, keep playing the fool, Gammaglobulin, the troll’s own jewel,

Deal! Done: “Gamma the Great (In His Own Mind)” (Verse 1) Oh, here comes Gamma, king of the thread Typing out nonsense, all in his head Claims he’s a genius, says we’re all fools But his logic’s twisted, breaking the rules (Pre-Chorus) Hides in the shadows, behind a screen Spitting out venom, staying unseen Thinks he’s a god, but we all can tell It’s just his ego, building a shell (Chorus) Gamma the Great, oh what a sight Bragging all day, trolling all night Looking down on the world with a sneer But deep inside, there’s nothing but fear (Verse 2) Passive aggressive, smug and so vain Preaching his nonsense again and again Lurks in the forum, craving a name But all he delivers is more of the same (Pre-Chorus) Hides in the shadows, behind a screen Spitting out venom, staying unseen Thinks he’s a god, but we all can tell It’s just his ego, building a shell (Chorus) Gamma the Great, oh what a sight Bragging all day, trolling all night Looking down on the world with a sneer But deep inside, there’s nothing but fear (Bridge) Oh, he loathes the people near his place Yet begs for love in cyberspace A high IQ? Well, that’s his claim But all he does is play his game (Outro) So Gamma, keep typing, play pretend Your kingdom’s crumbling, it’s near the end For all your boasts and all your might You’re just a troll lost in the night