old wanderer

I just arrived back to Hong Kong from Bangkok,this was my 3rd trip in and out over the last 5 weeks or so 1st trip 3 days 2nd 20 days 3rd 3 days.Each entry was yellow markered and on leaving tonight the immigration officer wrote underneath the exit stamp 3 days.Would it be to early to think the the officals ARE counting the days as is stated in the new rules??? As a frequent weekend visitor whose wife and kids are living thailand I am worried about the stamp counting procedure that has been talked about.The officals on arrival on friday and leaving this evening had a good long look at the stamps.Anyone any furthers thoughts on the weekend travellers potentional problems with these new rules?

Jumbo

Sure, as I am looking at the same thing working in Singapore and wife in Thailand.

Easy answer, get a Non-im O multi-entry visa....should be no problem for you.

You have all the requirements:

Married to Thai

Marriage Cert

Her ID

You Passport and about $125 US currency.

no ploblem..me thinks

Yeah...how abuot it...what happened??????

If it was me, I would have hired 4 size large body gaurds, and gone personally to the acution, then pushed real hard on the local mafia about bidding. ###### the torpedoes full speed ahead..Made them "an offer they conld not refuse."

Or in the words of "Zorba the Greek" "Life is to unbuckle your belt and look for trouble".

While not exactly on point, however, I have my hat in the ring and on the short list for a job in Jakarta (aviation related)

Salery 360,000/mo (company pays the taxes on top of this)

Housing Paid by company

Driver paid by company

work 4 weeks and then 2 weeks paid time off with a ticket back to Thailand.

So these kinds of jobs are around, just need to pull your head out of the sand to find them.

Sort of was curious also, as I have a 21' dki boat that would be fun on some of the lakes.

Pumper,

(If you are an American, avoid the embassy and LA)

As I am about to apply for a multi entry O visa in Los Angeles, care to eplain this statement??

In my case, married to a Thai, and will be working in Singapore, hence the multi entry O visa. Yes I could get the tourist stamp each time I arrive, BUT it only takes one time when someone turns you around at the airport deciding you are spending too much time in Thailand...Better an O multi entry. Also need the O to open a bank account with my wife in Thailand.

I plan of getting a new passport in March, (Less that 6 months left on mine) and apply in Los Angeles. Since I meet all the rules, I do not expect any hassel. We have reservation for April 10th to go to Thailand for a short visit and sign the land transfer documents. Also might start a house at that time.

Unsure of when my transfer to Singapore might take place, but if not there I have another oportunity in Jakarta, an there I work 4 weeks with 2 weeks off and the company pays taxes and transport to BKK each time.

Pumper,

(If you are an American, avoid the embassy and LA)

As I am about to apply for a multi entry O visa in Los Angeles, care to eplain this statement??

Boy.....one of the worste fights (and one of the very few fights) I ever had with my wife was about the lack of a wai.

Not from her but her sister, (my sister-in-law). We had come from the USA to Thailand and a month before something had happened with her sister that requied I send some money. I did it to help out. When we went to the sisters home, I was treated like I was invisible....No hello, no good-by,,,,,nothing the whole 2 hours we were there.

The next day my wife wanted to return to her (younger) sisters home, and I told her to go alone. I would not return to be insurlted again...I brought up the fact that I am both older and higher than her sister, so expected a greeting and a good-bye....but got totally ignored.

Well for 2 years I refused any social contact with her, but when back in the village visiting her mother , little sister shows up whith husband and kids....I certainly did get what I expected at that time.....I was greeted, (and I watched to see where the hands were placed...I know these things) I was given much respect and courtesy. Her husband went on about about how I am family. My feeleing was and still is I am in Thailand and respect there customs, then they cannot ignore there customs when it comes to me.

Wife defended the sister as just being shy.....I took it as just being a falang that got used to help her out.

Sometimes you just need to take a hard stand.

Got it all sorted out now though.

I'd suggest ,as an alternative to the government plans, those home design books available at any Se-ed bookstore. The one I pulled my house plan from was the blue "120" book, which is all single-story designs. Many of the local builders have a copy of it... there are plenty of other books to choose from as well.

I am preparing to build house 37 from this book.....I am waiting on a price at this time. It will be built at a resort in at Wang Keow near Saraburi.

It they wear the cloth of a monk you can wai them - they can not wai back. Normally this is done as they arrive and depart. But they will not be insulted if you fail to do so and your marriage should remain intact.

ok, a few things; as described above the monk not waiing back is because they are considered to be of higher status; so therefore not necessary to wai; which is why even the royal family will wai a Monk but not expect a wai back. So...this even extends to young boys who are in the robes of a monk; they will also command the respect of a monk; irrespective of their age.

Even though they are of very high status, they also are not bound by tradition or ritual, so you can smile and talk to them normally, and often you may learn something in the process. however, as a person, you are lower in status than them, so to show respect, as outlined above there are some things you can do.

The dipping your head is a sign of respect for ANYONE; it surprises me a bit that some foreigners would notice this yet others do not; whenever walking past a group through their line of sight, OR passing behind someone while others are looking; it is customary to at least make the effort to appear to lower the head; remember the head is the highest point of the body in status (i.e. POM) and therefore, you are showing you respect enough to at least appear to lower the head.

For the exact same reason, you NEVER step over people, or even step over someone's back as you pass behind them; better to say 'kor toet' and indicate you wish to pass than to step over someone or even over their legs; this being the exact opposite; that the feet are the lowest status part of the body and thus it is insulting to do so. ANd for the same reason, this is why you do not sit cross legged or with feet pointing at anyone, least of all a monk.

For sitting, typically, as a person of lower status you should sit lower than the monk. If you wish to take a photo, have sore legs or whatever, you can sit at the same level, but best to apologise to them first and wai them to indicate that you are sorry for doing so; they will understand; that's half the point of being a monk is to understand more about what is going on around them. Best to sit on the floor with legs tucked to one side, or sit on your shins (sorry don't know how to explain this). During the ceremony, it is normal to wai at certain times during prayers and it is acceptable to walk in walk out, although generally people will wai each time they exit. Sitting cross legged like the monks is generally not done.

Best to sit nearer the back so you can see what others are doing, although as the owner of the house you may be expected to sit near the front.

During some blessings the monks will also sprinkle holy water over you; during times like this you should wai. It isn't a serious sad time, it is a happy time; so smile and enjoy it; try to think about what is going on, what you feel, what opportunities await for you and your family and business or whatever; feel grateful and good because this is generally the start of a new part of your life.

It is appropriate to assist in preparing the food and serving the food to the monks; let them eat first in peace; again observing not to step over their food, any of their things and certainly not any of them. When serving or passing, the formal way is to use the right hand, with the left hand supporting the right elbow, or both hands. Don't flick stuff to people - actually this is for every aspect of Thai passing things to people in a semi formal situation; I HATE how some people chuck things around, especially books and items of value; if you value it, or if you think the person receiving will value something, then pass it with the respect it deserves!

For repeating prayers, you can try to repeat and memorise, but not problem if you cannot; just saying sartu at the end (like an amen) is enough. If you are a Christian, then perhaps best to understand that (at least IMHO) you are praying to yourself to receive the things that you wish; you are wishing for things to happen, Buddha himself was a man; a role model; you are not necessarily praying to another god. but if you don't wish to do this and are worried about going to hel_l, then perhaps you can go and help prepare food and drinks and whatever to help.

As far as I am concerned, if you are lucky enough to have someone organise the ceremony or have arranged it yourself, you should make the effort to at least have a vague idea of what is going on. Many Thai people are unsure themselves, as it is not a common thing to do, and sometimes the etiquette is a bit unclear. no problem, do your best and have a smile and enjoy!

There are some basic language differences in addressing monks and also in describing them; for example they are not kon (people); however even this will be forgiven if somehow you haven't managed to learn Thai; a simple apology that you cannot really speak Thai, then just say what you want to say, and they will figure it out. However, best to make sure they and the people around you know that you are not trying to insult them by referring to them for instance as have those people over there finished chowing down; rather than have those monks over there eaten yet.... like in english if you met royalty or something.

steveromagnino:

Thank you so much for taking the time to explain all above. My wife says you are very good man and your wife should be very happy a falang has taken the time to understand Thai culture.

Some times when I read post from this board to her she gets really angry at "stupid falang" especially about sin sod.

I was unaware about sitting crosslegged like the monks, as I did this at a blessing cerimony before we got married, as it was the most comfortable position and I learned it many years ago doing martial art classes.

As we are building a home, and buying a car, there are 2 ceremonies I know of comming up, so will practice sitting on my shins. Also about passing food.....done that but maybe not as politely as you have described.....If nobody every explains this stuff to you, then you just never know....

Thanks again, (and you have made an admirer of my wife for you understanding).

Elle:

I has amazed me also that so many farrang on the board are so insensitive. Thanks you for speaking out.

My Suay (Thai) wife from Surin was really upset when I read some of the comments by those that posted.

Choke dee mak mak

Why can't they just let you have a 1 year visa and be done with it?!

Did you read the part about NON-IMMIGRANT ]/u]

As long as you are not an IMMIGRANT anything is reasonable.

Otherwise you have a sitiuation like in the USA with 12 million illegal Mexicans with minimum wage skills at best and almost no language skills.

After living in the middle of a mess caused lack of cajones to enforce immigation laws, I will never criticise a country for any immigration laws they might pass.

I see this topic is still one that brings up a load of issues. Here is what I know – I make no judgments on those who choose not to pay sin sod, though the Thai's I know would not look favorably on you for this, and those paying high sin sod for bar girls are pretty foolish.

I have worked in several offices in Bangkok and have had interactions with a middle level to high (not quite in the newspapers) level of people in Thailand – most from Bangkok, some from major provincial capitals – I have no personal experience with close friends or colleagues marrying someone from a village, whom I would be close enough to ask about these maters and expect a real/true answer. So again, let me be clear - aside from drinking out with the buddies, my interaction with Thai's and discussions related to these matters has been with educated, well employed Thai people.

So, here is what I know:

1) Every single Thai woman who I have worked with received a sin sod. In one case, the woman was divorced and had two children from a previous marriage - her sin sod was large, over 750k Baht. I can assure you, I know a couple of the girls in the office who were definitely not virgins before they got married and sin sod was paid.

2) Every single Thai man I work with paid a sin sod – I am excluding drivers and messengers, as I do not have life conversations with them.

3) Every Thai female I work with is horrified when I mention that some Westerners refuse to pay sin sod – they view these people in very negative terms, and tend to state they do not understand or respect Thai culture.

4) Of the Western men I know well (I should say know their story) who have gotten married to respectable Thai women, one paid a sin sod of around 200k, the other did not pay a sin sod – no one in the office thinks the second person did the right thing and really look down on him for it. Another friend plans to get married and there are issues over sin sod – the girl is horrified he will not pay some form of sin sod - the families face is on the line – it will be interesting to see how this plays out.

5) In some cases, the sin sod went toward something, a down payment on a condo or something similar. But with many people, I was not close enough to them to ascertain what became of the money – ie, was it only for show – it is a personal question and Thai's can be touchy, many will be quick to tell you how much was involved, but will shut down completely if you ask them what became of the money.

Though not a "going rate," as some said, the girl's educational background, income, family history, and the man's status all seemed to play a role in the amount. It also seems (though I have only anecdotal evidence) that the Chinese-Thais pay more in sin sod. Why this is, I have no idea.

Again, I make no sweeping generalizations – these are people I know.

This is pretty much right on for how I have understood it. I have previously posted my feeling, and don't need to repeat them.

My greatest reason personally to pay sin sod was to make my wife happy. We did not negociate, and I think she was a bit worried I would be keen yow, so the night before we married she gave me 100,000 baht to add to what ever I was going to bring to the wedding....Her eyes werer pretty big when I showed up....I had to make a last minute run to buy another gold platter to carry all the money on.

My biggest worry was not the money, or what would happen to it, but being a farrang in a small village with enough sin sod to buy the whole village sort of invited some bandito to make a try...that is why I refused to disclose how much until the wedding and the public counting of the money, gold, and jewlery.

Looking back 4 years ago, what would have been different in my life if I did not offer any sin sod??? Well for me personally,,,,I would have pissed the money away on something else. As it is I have a very content wife, and village that give me a lot of respect as well as that of my wife.

My feeling is talk to your GF and see how she really feels. If she is a bar girl....well some have chi dee, and some have chi dum, and some are in between, as all women.

As I said in an earlier post if I was offered a refund of 30x of my sin sod, I would refuse it.

I have flown the route more than 25 times in the past 10 years. My favorite is Cathay Pacific Buisness or 1st class (been upgraded from buisness to 1st twice).

I have a buisness class ticket on JAL for my wife and myself in April...1st time on JAL

Flown NWA a bunch, did not like Korean.

My wife is re-locating to Thailand and bring me along... I have some favorite motorcycles I really would love to have in Thailand.

Has anybody sucessfully imported into Thailand a used motorcycle or car??

if so what were the steps you went through.

Am I the only person that is willing to list exactly what was paid for my Thai marriage?

For those that believe sin sot is a total rip off, let me give some perspecitive of a rip-off:

I was in Reno trophy hunting one night when I found this eurasian singer with her own band (Spanish/Okinawin). I took that little trophy and married her....big mistake....2 years later when I decided to divorce her, I drove all night and got to the town she was playing in at 10AM. The desk gave me a key to her room (they knew I was her husband), and I went up and into the room. Up jumps some jerk from her bed and he was going to kick my butt....well I karate kicked him in the chest just to sit him down, but he went through the window. Someone came up and hit me accross the back of the head with a lamp and without thinking I grabbe a fist full of black hair and threw her through the window....

I went down stairs and out into the snow (this was a 3rd story room), and both were laying naked in the snow. I encouraged her to sign my papers.....I was divorced the next day in Reno....

BUT I got sued by her and her friend and they got a 5 million dollar judgement against me....

There was nothing wrong with either of them but a few little broken bones.....

My 5000 acre ranch that was almost paid off went bye bye

Now that was a rip-off..

Sin Sot......nit noy....mai pen rai.

In the past two years I have attended at least 10 weddings in my village/town, every single one had a sin sort display of money and gold, the values have varied between 40k and 500k and every single marriage was Thai to Thai.

This is not an old tradition reserved for scamming farangs, it's an old tradition that is respected by every single Thai national I have ever met.

Tradition or no tradition, let's just think about what this concept results in. With such a monetary basis (requirement) for marriage, it is highly probable that many matches are made soley for money and not love. What about the poor Thai guy who can't scrape up enough cash and what about the Thai girl who is "marketed" and sold off to a Farang, just beause the family neeeds money. This is a common scenario here. Unfortunately, love is often NOT the primary factor. I recently know of one 20 yr old lady who cannot marry the Thai guy of her choice, because her Mother wanted 100K. They bargained it down to 50K, but he still cannot pay. SO, she likely will be "sold offf" to whoever has 100K. This is not the makings for a future happy marriage, in my opinion.

Would you want your daughter to marry somebody that was so broke he could not come up with a little money. And look at the culture...family are tight...they help one another, so the son would have the help of his family....Again would you give permission for your young daughter to marry a bumb with nothing???

Second point, in western society, how many engagements have gone on the rocks when a $5,000 or $10,000 engagement ring could not be provided??? Sin Sot but by another name.

Looks like I spent more than most here on this board, but as I have said before the rewards, and prestige I gave to my wifes family will be repaid many times over.

orlandoiam:

Thanks for writing out all the details.....In each part of Thailand tradion are a bit different. When my father-in-law died last year, it was a bit of a shock to have 400 people show up over 4 days. I never knew he had so many friends and relitives. Certainly the wedding and party my wife and I had a few years ago made the family more visible. But we only had about 200 people there.

I would guess it cost about 200,000 baht for the funeral, and this is for a poor Issan family farming about 40 rai.

I cannot belive how cheap some sound on this board. Me thinks that there is way too much welfare where you come from and let the government be responcible for everything.

I had replied to this in an earlier thread today on the board but since you want to keep stirring the pot I will be specific:

I was married to my wife for 6 years before we finally had a village wedding. Why did I do it?? It took a while to sink in how important this is in my wife's society. She is from a ethnic group call "Suay" near Surin. They have thier own language and customs that are unique. Nobody knew before the wedding cerimony how much Sin Sot I would give, not even my wife. (She hated that part, but I like suprises).

Her mother had to go to a mahdooh (fortune teller) to pick a date. We arrived a week before the wedding and I hired my regular driver and van in Bangkok for the time, to make pictures and video's and be my translator. (1800 baht/day plus lodging, food, gas and tip).

We 1st went to Pattonam and bought wedding cloths for both of us.....(about 10,000 baht)

Then to Surin and booked hotel for a week.....

To village and make arrangements for wedding and party....(Here you party 1st and get married at the end) Needed to buy food, pigs, ice cooler for beer, talk to Monks at the Wat in the next village to bring BIG sound system to family home., contract Muhlomb music group (marching band) for time just before wedding, and buy presents for each guest. Also arranged an 7:00AM cerimony for 11 monks to bless us prior to the wedding day. A hair dresser that started to do my wifes hair at 4:30 AM on the wedding day.

All the above was proably 25,000 baht (don't remember as I was drinking and parting for 3 days before wedding and people just kept comming).

The wedding: 1500 baht for the hair dresser, a present for the monks 6000 baht, I had 300,000 baht in red (the color for good luck) 100 baht bills. 5000 baht for the marching band (about 25 people playing instruments and drums with a electric keyboard and speakers mounted on a pushcart that rolled along. ). We had the cerimony which was an old couple instructing us in the responciblies of husband and wife, then the flowers, and I presented the Sin Sot which had to verified by about 6 people....1st the money was counted.....and anounced over the loud speaker system so all could hear, then the gold was counted 16 baht, then the wedding and engagement ring was presented along with the reciept of what I paid for it (very important) ($11,855.23), The other jewlery we had bought over the past years at Conburi cosisting of diamonds, rubies, and saphires in 24k gold. Each piece was inspected, the reciept of the cost read, and held up so he crowd could see..

Finally we recieved gifts of money from the guest and good luck strings were tied around our wrists by the guest placing the money under the good luck string.

Then we had to read the pigs head and what it foretold of our future....and went back upstairs inside the house for another blessing from the monks plus I got to give them some more money (2500 baht), and serve them food.

Lastly we went to a little monument and prayed to the ancestors and told them of our marriage. By 11:00 AM were married and thing returned to normal in the village.

Was it a rip off.....well not in my world.....the amount of prestige and happiness it brought to the family was not measurable. As I watch now when we return to the village from the USA my wife prosides over a bunch of people that all sit at her feet and listens to her stories of travels and life outside Issan. I call her Than Puk, as I strole through this little village everybody wai's me and greets me in Suay. It brought what had been one of the poorest families in the village to being the most succesful. (Her mother still prefers to cook over charcoal rather than light the gas stove I bought, but she now leaves the refig plugged in when she leaves).

What happend to the money to the family, well her father was very sick and most went into his health care until he died 6 months later, and then a funeral with about 400 people that came to pay respects. (But the mother had to provide food and drink for everybody). We will have a party next year for her father where I will hire a Lao moolumb group to play and sing, while I get drunk and dance with all the pretty ladies. Not too big maybe 200 people.

So there you go Cpt_M0ney_Sh0t with a detailed account on what I invested into my future happiness.

My wifes attitude (she is pretty outspoken on this) "If Farrang don't want to respect Issan custom then better they just stay in hotel room and chuck wah, and leave Issan ladies alone"

Yes they are second class according to Thai people.Never heard of one Thai person ever paying a sin sot if they married a divorced woman with kids etc. On;ly farangs would pay this IMO,which is fine if that's what they want to do.

Read my post above, my brother-in-law (Thai person) paid 2 baht gold and 50,000 baht for a divorced wife with one son.

So now you have heard of it...I was there and saw the whole thing....

Thanks Old Wanderer, some people think if they didn't hear of it, it never happened....

Great story about your Suay woman, I wish I would have been there at the wedding, must have been very impressive

More than impressive,,,it was memorable.....

When the day comes that all you can do is sit in your rocking chair and drool with this stupid grin on your face, all you hve left are the memories....make the best possible.

We will be having a house warming (blessing) party in a year or so for a new house in the mountains outside of Saraburi, you are welcome and see how I throw a party....(There will be Suay, Lao, Thai, and Farrang people there. ) Hopefully this does not go on for more than a day. But you never know??

When I went with my "wife to be" she comes from a very small village. I had proposed to marry her in the USA. All the relitives came, and we had a BIG meeting about this. Finally it was agreed she could come to America with me, but we had to return and get married in her village also.

Well it took 6 years to fulfill that part of the deal, but it did get done.

Do yourself a favor, and eat a lot of Thai food from various sidewalk vendors, see what you like and what you do not. Looks bad to take a mouthfull with 30 people watching and just spit it out in front of them..

Practice a few Thai phrases as well.

Most of all be aware your GF is going to be very proud bringing you there, do not allow her to loose face...Just go with the flow, and if something you did not like, save it for later. She is also going to be nervous about you, suck it up, and quit woring about yourself.

Drink with the men, but don't allow yourself to get drunk...as it could compromise your reasoning, and you never know what might come out of your mouth. This is your GF time, make it special

How many of relatives we must to meet at first date with our Thai woman?

I do not know what the custome is, but I had 2 other women that worked for my wife come to a restraunt and have dinner on our first date. (All here relitives mostly live in Issan, and she had a little company she started in Bangkok).

I met my wife of 12 years in a Thai resurant. When the waitress could not understand my Thai, my wife was sitting at the table next to mine with 2 girls that worked for her. (She was in the area picking up a sewing contract to take back to her company).

She asked in very broken English...."What you want". I told her in Thai and she repeated it to the waitress....I said..."That is exactly what I said" (pom poot jing jing) and all the girls laughed at my Farrang accent.

I had a girlfriend at that time from Sukhothai, and had built a house outside of town over a little lake for us. I did not have a flight till the next day to Sukhothai so I asked if my wife to be would come and translate for me at dinner as well. (I was going to a very nice resturant that the girls knew about....She refused...but I handed a little taxi money to one of the other girls and invited all of them...All 3 of them showed up (later naturally as that is Thai style). She reaslly did not want to come, but her workers convinced her to just come as they had never been to such and expensive resturant as this. This was the start of a 2 year strickly plutonic friendship.

Several years later I was at my home in Sukhohthai when I noticed a cell phone bill tucked way back in a drawer, my girlfriend (who I had met in a bar in Pattaya, and was drop dead georgeous) was gone. I noted 7 calles to England, 3 to Germany and one to me in the USA. I called the numbers and found out she was engaged to both of them and they were sending her money to pay off the house and car that I had fully paid for allready.

I left and returned to Bangkok, because somehow my house burned down that afternoon??

I called my wife and told her what happened and she started crying....saying "I don't know why some Thai ladies that way". I went home thinking I would never come to Thailand again.

Well I did return and did not return to the bars and disco however. I already had a friend, and fortune smiled on me as my wife had gone to a mahdoo (fortune teller) and he had told her that her "quan tah" would come and take her far away, and she would have all her dreams, but everything would happen slowly.

She laughted at him and told him "I 29 years old I never have husband, never have boyfriend, how you think I have quan tah?" Her girls that worked for her asked then about me....."He not boyfriend, he just farrang friend". The next week I arrived, and it was as though fate had told us what to do.

We got married in the USA 6 months later, and as they say the rest is history.

My wife sez..

Far out away from the village or town no water maybe 30,000 baht per rai

If close in or maybe have water then 60,000 baht per rai

Joe

Yes they are second class according to Thai people.Never heard of one Thai person ever paying a sin sot if they married a divorced woman with kids etc. On;ly farangs would pay this IMO,which is fine if that's what they want to do.

Read my post above, my brother-in-law (Thai person) paid 2 baht gold and 50,000 baht for a divorced wife with one son.

So now you have heard of it...I was there and saw the whole thing....

You haven't the slightest idea about thai culture and tradition. Culture is NEVER garbage. If you can't respect it stay away, Thailand can do without you. We farangs are guests in this country, who are you to call thai tradition garbage?

Girls asking for 1 million baht? You are talking a different language! If money is paid it is on a voluntary basis, nobody asks for it, and certainly not the girl!! Read my earlier posts and those of others, it's not buying your wife, it's showing respect to her parents and the money is somehow flowing back to you.

A nice and valuable social thai tradition, not suitable for culture nono's.

seconded!

It is part of the tradition/culture and is handled differently in different areas. I paid 200k and this paid also for the party that the whole village and extended family attended.

I also had my doubts, but an extensive research on Thaivisa (and there is a lot in here to that subject!) convinced me that it is the right way to go. Might be that without this board I would not be married, and this is maybe the right moment to say thank you to all your contributions pro and con who made this possible!

And I Third you thoughts.

I married a Suay girl from a small village outside of Surin. When I met her she had never been married or even had a boyfriend and was 29. (How rare is that??)

When I had known her as a friend she owned a sewing company in Bangkok and after a disaster with one of the "trophy queens" I had a talk with myself and thought I should look at the quality of the woman rather than the exterior desirability. I proposed to my wife, and it took a village meeting to decided if it was OK. Got a list of conditions I had to agree to.

Well she came to the USA with me and we got married here. For 6 years everytime we went to her village I got asked 50 times.. "When you get married??" I had started with the idea that sin sod was just a rip-off. That slowly changed after I went to a cousins marriage (Thai/Thai) and observed what went on. Also was there when her mother negociated a sin sod for her younger son with a divorced thai lady. (It was 2 baht gold and 50,000 baht).

Well it took 6 years for me to come around, but I did it. I gave 300,000 baht to the family, 16baht gold, plus an engagement ring/wedding ring ( 400,000 baht) and assorted jewlery we bought at Chonburi over 6 years, (about another 400,000 baht. We then had 200 people, 4 or 5 pigs, truck loads of beer, some Thai whiskey, 11 chanting monks, a Khmer marching band (To bring me too her mothers house and anounce my arrival) 20 Kg of Som Tum, and more fun than can be put in words...Oh and the clothes as well, wife, had to have a wedding dress, and I had a Jo Ko Bahn plus a wedding jacket. In short I proably went through over a million baht. If you were to offer to refund my money, I would not take 30X the money in exchage for the memories and the prestige I brought to my wife and her family, through that 4 day party.

I feel pretty strongly. If you want a Thai wife, do not try and change her to a Farang. If you want someone with your values and customs, go marry and another schrivilled up bad attitude farrang woman. (For you old guys, try and get some young sweet thing in your country??) One of the things that makes my Thai wife so special is her values and customs.

Gentlemen you are not buying a piece of meat and negociating a price per pound. Marriage (if it is to last) is a pardnership, not an owership. If you are fortunate enough to find your Quan Tah, there is not price that can pay for that.

To quote my wife,,,,,"If you Farangs cannot respect the customs of Issan people then go set in your room and chuck wah, and leave the Issan ladies alone.