Old Curmudgeon

Exactly. Thanks @BritManToo for that comment.

Well, thanks anyway, @Hummin, for that thoughtful post, but this thread is NOT about making friends by going kayaking. This thread is about making friends via this forum.

Talking in person with some my fellow expats, long-stay expats, many say they feel sort of lonely. Making friends with local ladies: easy. But finding and making friends with other expats: not easy at all. I aim to do something to fix that ... using the positive benefits of forums like this one. Not going to go into the problems of forums. That would go on forever. Instead just jump right in with positive solutions. How to make friends ... on a forum like this. I am a full-time expat in Thailand 20+ years. Over the years, made a some good friends on this forum. Not a lot, but some. And what is important is those were expats I would never have met any other way except here. Here's how I did it, and so can you. - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - #1. Private Messaging Don't try to have a decent conversation on the open forum. Won't happen: lots of reasons. Instead, do this: When you see a post of interest to you, send a private message (PM) to that poster. Sometimes called a direct message (DM). All worthwhile conversations start in PMs. None on the open, public forum. Yes, there can be worthwhile posts down in the threads on the open forum, but they are overwhelmed by all the garbage posts. And you will notice the more worthwhile an individual post is, the more garbage posts pile on. Don't bother trying to rise above the garbage, just send PMs. - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - #2. Platform Migration Move any PM conversation to email or LINE or Telegram or Signal, etc. My experience is if the other person is NOT willing to move the conversation to email, LINE, etc., then they are not interested, not willing to talk with you. If they won't go to email, LINE, etc., I simply say a polite goodbye. - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - #3. Email Security Use "burner" emails, not your real, personal email. Burner emails are free. They protect against spam, doxers, and other predators. In my experience, if someone is NOT willing to get and use a burner email, or some sort of private email service (such as Proton, Tutanota, Start Mail, Mailfence, Countermail), then that conversation is not worth continuing. I simply say goodbye and move on. - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - To be continued. This is part 1-3 of 9. Topics 4-5-6 will cover selective reading, ignore users and starting topics. I welcome comments and critique.

Thank you, @xylophone for your very helpful comments. Okay I'll ask about dinners vs. lunches. I plan to open a LINE group for these expat meals: will ask there about dinner vs. lunch. Ah, Italian: I've ordered repeatedly from Billy's Italian restaurant (near Tapae Gate) and received excellent food. But not yet gone there to eat in person. Should do that soon. Pictures look like a comfortable, relaxed place for conversation. Small, Italian restaurants usually are, eh?

@Dante99 is on the right track. There wasn't even one person who responded positively. But we knew there wouldn't be, right? Anyone intelligent enough to be interested in the sort of group I described would never respond on this open forum. Anyone who did would be overwhelmed with negative assaults. That's just the way things are here and its not going to change. What I was hoping for ... aiming for ... was a few private messages. But there have been none (so far). None at all. I thought, when I started this thread, there would be a few other long-stay expats interested in meeting in person with others of like mind. The essential here is, "of like mind" ... That means not just anyone who managed to walk in the door. So I did what I could to emphasize the idea of a select few, (along with a bit of imperial colonialism attitude). Plus "meeting in person" was, I thought, important as a counter-point to the wasteland of "social media" today. But there were no private messages about that either. Well the only way to know is to try. And now I know. I will continue inviting a few other expats to small group lunches in Chiang Mai. But any new attendees will come only from word-of-mouth recommendations, not from posts on social media. "Thank you" to all who posted here, including the very large proportion of negative posts. I didn't respond to most negative posts, but I did read and consider every post. And that in itself was a valuable way to quickly get to know some of my fellow expats.

Yes, exactly. That is the "feeling" I was hoping for.

Two old expats sitting at the bar. "I guess you're never too old," the first one boasted. "Why just yesterday a pretty college girl from Chula University said she'd be interested in dating me. But to be perfectly honest, I don't quite understand it." "Well," said the other, "you have to remember that nowadays women are more aggressive. They don't mind being the one to ask." "No, I don't think it's that." "Well, maybe you remind her of her father." "No, it's not that either. It's just that she also mentioned something about carbon 14."

Reply: Pattern is British gentleman's club -- but very informal. Few American men have ever experienced that. Zero "diversity". Zero political correctness. Zero Cultural Marxism. A group where Rudyard Kipling would fit in easily. Is that too much to ask for in today's world? Could be. I aim to find out.

Thanks, @JimTripper for that good idea.

Nope. Give it up, @JBChiangRai, I'm not going to follow that advice, no matter how often you post about it here. The group described on this thread is invitation only. There is a polite "vetting" process before any invitation is issued.

Brief update on this new dining group for expats in Chiang Mai: - Three meals so far: All were lunch (no evening meals). 4 people each time. - Restaurants so far: Sausage King Garden -- best atmosphere for conversation Route 66 -- cooking seems to have gone down slightly. (Maybe new cooks.) Kahm Saen -- beautiful restaurant, but too "formal" for relaxed conversation Next restaurant: still searching. Goal is find 3-5 comfortable restaurants and rotate among those.) - Lessons learned: No Thai women: conversation tone changed when a woman was present. Separate checks, organized by the waitress, not by the group organizer (me). Before group meal, must evaluate restaurant first, not depend solely on suggestions here, or anywhere. Previous lesson learned: No missionaries (Jehovah's Witness, Seventh Day Adventist, etc. Many in Northern Thailand, but not invited to this group.) How to handle problem of vaxxed people: still unsolved. - Important note: This dining group is not sponsored by, not approved by, and not associated in any way with this forum or any other expat group. Posting here is merely a "notice of community event".

Two options that I see: #1 - separate tables: vaxxed, not vaxxed. #2 - simply not invite any vaxxed. (Vaxxed can organize their own group.) Any better options??

Model #? Bought where? Thank you.

What is it actually? Model #? Where did you buy it? Thank you.

What bank? And what branch location? ----- Our dear, beloved US of A is planning ahead. Eventually will be a tax on personal assets ... and those 87,000 new I.R.S. agents will depend on bank information to discover what you have and what transactions you make. "Foreign banks," you say? "No jurisdiction," you say? If foreign banks want to remain in the international money transfer system (SWIFT) they will cooperate. Merry Christmas to us all.

Searching for an electric rice cooker with inside pot NOT aluminum. Stainless okay. Glass okay. Ceramic okay. (Found stainless but it is not electric -- designed for camping.) Size: about 1 Ltr. Not huge restaurant unit. Teflon non-stick doesn't matter. "Features" and settings don't matter. Just steam the rice and turn off. Just no aluminum. Where to find a rice cooker with pot that is not aluminum?

Tool box for bed of pickup truck. http://www.bangkokshipping.com/toolbox.php

Well, doing exactly that is an easy and often pleasant way to meet people, especially other expats. Two examples -- hopefully helpful to my fellow expats who are a bit shy: Many years ago, when "Butter is Better" first opened, I went for a meal. Sat down and started studying the menu. Another man at the next table, about my age, appeared to be a fellow expat. Turned to him and said, "This is my first time here. I hope you don't mind me asking, what is that you ordered and how is it?" He explained. So I said to the waitress, "I'll have what he ordered. Same-same." That was all it took to start a friendly and very pleasant conversation. Just the other day, at a different restaurant, at a table by myself, another expat-looking man walked in alone and went past my table to the toilet. Looked like a decent sort. So when he returned, I said, "Good morning. I'm eating alone today. If you'd like some conversation with your meal, you're welcome to sit here." He did and we had a good time exchanging expat stories. I've found that many expats (many, but not all) are eager for conversation with other expats. All they need is the opportunity. Provide that opportunity and it is quite easy to make new friends.

Immediate solution: use an agency. Recently I moved to a new area and needed to find a new maid. Hired from an agency in Chiang Mai with excellent results. (Excellent, not cheap.) In the past I've used agencies for maids, with generally good results. If the first maid they send does not work out (for any reason), the agency will immediately send someone else. No need to spend your time or effort hunting for a replacement, interviewing, getting references, etc. The agency will also provide basic translation service as part of their service. If your wife does not speak or understand Thai, that may not matter anyway if the nannie/maid is Burmese or Hill Tribe or Lao. The agency can provide basic language help for both sides. I simply searched on the Internet and I interviewed the agency, not the maids. First agency I contacted was vague, poorly organized, made all kinds of promises. And spoke (on the phone) with an Indian/Pakistani accent. So I searched for a different agency. Found one that was helpful, realistic, organized. The maid they sent was excellent, and I've requested her to come back again four times already with another reservation for next week. Lesson learned: Interview the agency. Finally: price discovery. I'm paying the agency 220/baht per hour: 880 baht for 1/2 day. That's for maid service. (Nannie, I don't know). Maid told me that the agency takes 20%. Which tells us that (in this case) an excellent maid expects to take home in the vicinity of 175/hour. I hope you'll report back here with your results.

Thanks @TooPoopedToPop for mentioning that ... I'll have to try the whole wheat bread. Just today, for the first time, I bought a bag of JJ's pastry crust "cookies". Crunchy, not overly sweet, perfect with a cup of tea.

Good idea. Recent gatherings were "separate checks": rather awkward for waitress. In future probably only buffets, because fixed price. photo from Auf der Au web site.

Actually don't want more than just digital nomads. Several "groups": exactly "who" is being discussed. I'd post the list here, but the thread would explode with indignation. But one example, just to "test" response. Vaxxed invited?? Or not??

I wish more expats could find ways to cooperate as @Barley has done on this topic. What I appreciate is not just discount price, but that Barley did a lot of research to find a good product and a reputable seller. Would be very helpful to see other ways to cooperate following his lead.

"Price discovery" I'm updating this topic to help others looking for a maid. Above I posted about paying 200/hour for an excellent maid from a service/agency. Just now got new information. A neighbor in my moo-baan, her sister just died recently. The sister had daily maid until her death. Neighbor asked if I was interested in a maid: - cleans - does laundry - does simple cooking (including Western food for farang husband of the deceased). - has motorcycle for nearby errands. - working for that family for quite a few years already, so is "known". 7 days/week (every day). Paid 400/ day (and happy to have work). When funeral ceremonies finished, she'll start here. I will pay more than 400, (but not yet decided how much more). And if @Old Curmudgeon disappears, you'll know hiring her was a bad choice! (Maid almost certainly was vaxxed: could "shed" to me.) But I don't have enough to keep a maid busy 7/days a week. If anyone else interested, well, you know what to do. San Sai area.

Good idea, @Barley. I take you up on that offer. Sending PM to you now.