Goinghomesoon

When a person is hospitalised at Bangkok Hospital in Bangkok and their visa renewal date is approaching, the International Section at the hospital arranges the renewal without any need to visit Immigration in person. Perhaps Bangkok Hospital Korat does the same - it can't hurt to ask. Please don't let administrative paperwork hold up seeking medical treatment .

Great American Rib Co in Suk Soi 36 is having a buffet tonight. Something like all-you-can eat for THB 450 and half price for children.

I could only vote once but have 2 children in two different categories (youngest in international school here, eldest in boarding school at home). The eldest was in his last 3 years of high school when we came here and didn't want to swap systems so close to graduation. The cost of having him schooled at home and travel here 4x per year for holidays is the same as the tuition costs at Patana.

I think the others have said it well. Just think of all the Brits and New Zealanders that spend 12 months backpacking around Oz and then migrate permanently to the Gold Coast thinking they've found nirvana. A year or two later many are disillusioned and bitter and head back to their original home countries. Living somewhere is nothing like moving there permanently.

On money, for example's sake let's assume that as a couple you spend AUD80 a day while on holidays - 1,000 baht a day for hotel and 1,000 baht a day for two Thai meals and a pub dinner with drinks and a bit of shopping thrown in. If you intend to live and eat in a touristy area then that's 60,000 baht a month for rent and food without even taking into account transport, phone/electric/gas/drinking water/toiletries, medical insurance, airfares, clothing, visa fees.... And if you have children add a sizable chunk of money for school fees.

I don't mean to sound negative. I love living here, have a great job and will be very sad to leave when my contract finishes. But living here isn't as cheap or easy as people often assume. I'd suggest you research well and don't be afraid to change your minds.

I've added two older children to my family at different times (one was aged 5, one aged 4). Others have pointed out the major costs but from experience I think if you can cover the basics (school, decent housing, basic clothing, healthy sustenance) you can probably scrape through to high school. But once kids get to about 12yo and want to try new things, participate in more [expensive] school activities and go places with their friends then I think you would find it extremely hard on your current salary. Just think of the food! When our eldest (a boy) became a teenager our monthly family food bill doubled almost overnight.

Loong mentioned some of the emotional aspects. Since the child is your GFs daughter (and presumably used to being around you both), you might not experience a lot of the extremes of behaviours. But 4 year olds are not very good at verbally expressing their emotions and can act-out a lot. PM me if you want and I can direct you to some good books on what to expect.

I subscribe to Choice magazine so I got the full article. They only tested a small range of Thai food, mostly those available in every "Thai" restaurant in Australia: green chicken curry, chicken & basil, chicken & ginger, fish cakes, beef panang and pad thai. Personally in takeaways in Aust I try to avoid most of those!

A few weeks ago I had minor surgery at Bumrungrad to remove a benign uterine growth. I have mostly used BNH and been very happy but my doctor left and I was assigned a new one. Upon meeting me she announced that she planned to do serious abdominal surgery to remove the lump and I would need "a few weeks" off work to recover. She based her decision on 12-month old scans and didn't even intend to re-do them to see if the growth had changed in size! Queue one stressed farang woman scampering away from BNH as fast as I could

I felt very reassured at Bumrungrad when the doctor took things step-by-step. He did a variety of scans and blood tests and determined the best (and least intrusive way) to operate. I had an overnight stay and was back to normal activity two days later.

Thank goodness I am a scaredy-cat about being cut open and insisted on a second opinion. Otherwise I might have just stuck with the first doctor!

Interesting ask. I'm 38 next month and have never once - not once - felt the biological urge. I am not remotely interested in babies.

But one day, many moons ago, I was volunteering at an orphanage and a 5 year old boy clung onto me & looked up at me. It was a "KA-CHING" penny-drop moment. I don't like babies, but I do adore older children. Ones that walk and talk! And that's how I came to adoption.

I don't think the biological urge is 'required' to be a great parent.

(Hey Boo if you want another, the UK has a Thai adoption program... )

In other words, no - no sinsod has been paid for any marriage of a Thai to a farang woman.

Lots of reasons why not, but at the end of the day money has not exchanged hands.

Well it was only because I refused so vigorously. Like SBK says, it's just not the way I was raised. I had to keep reminding MIL that I was nearly 40 and probably not worth much anyway TBH I still half expected her to show up with a handbag full of money on the morning of the wedding.

My own mother - who's been trying to marry me off for years - came up to Isaan for the ceremony. The fact MIL even offered sin sod for me was quite hilarious to her

Hehe, Bina and I had a good time when she was here recently, talking about what makes our in-laws tick and how we interact with them

To a certain extent I'm with Boo. I don't interact regularly with my in-laws as we only visit a few times a year. However...if I was going to live with them I would definately make more of an effort. Not being close doesn't mean you don't respect them.

Shikon if your BF's parents are traditional older ties they may value a formality and old-fashioned respect more than any sort of friendship that you might aim for.

My husband is the eldest son and MIL was initially adament that they would pay sin sod, just as they did when their younger son was married.

In the end we went the same route as Meme. I had a pile of moolah on the plate but it was ceremonial only and handed back after the bai-sri was finished. MIL saved face and we were happy too.

(The in-laws sub-divided their land shortly afterwards and each sibling, including hubby, scored 10 rai so I don't think we did too badly all told.)

I think the transfer fee depends on the type of title on the land?

My FIL's land is Sor Por Kor (land granted to them by the government many moons ago). Apparently SPK land cannot be sold and must be handed on to the descendents of the original grant recipient. They have now subdivided for the 7 children and MIL was complaining recently about the high cost of the fees aat the Land Office. It was 200 baht per package (total 1,400 baht)!

Anyway let's try to have a chat about it without being too morbid if we can?!!!

Obviously I am ultimately comcerned about my son after I am gone but I am also a little bit scared for myself... like, what's it going to feel like? Will it be quick? Will it be painful? Will I be aware of what's happening?

Oh it's not morbid at all Nampeung. I'm sure we all have these questions but push them to the back of our minds until it is necessary to address them. Do those around you have answers? I'm sure your palliative carers will work their utmost to make sure you are comfortable and pain-free.

Is there anything we here at TV can do for you, after all you have done for us?

Nampeung my thoughts are with you. My adopted 11 year old daughter lived with her first mother while she was sick and came to us after her mum passed away. She suggested

- family heirooms - let your child choose something. It might be an old t-shirt that has your smell or a funny picture. My daughter said it might be a rock that you picked up on a beach together somewhere, or a special photo. It probably won't be what you expect him to choose!

- cards or letters. She thought a card or note for each major event (high school graduation, wedding, birth of first child etc).

- video. She said video is more "real" than a picture because the person can move and speak and makes you remember things better.

- some ritual that your son can 'own'. My daughter writes notes to her mum and then burns them in a candle flame. She calls it sending her wishes up to heaven.

But you know what she really wants more than anything? To have had more hugs from her mum before she died. That one we know you can do. Take care.

Oh Tulipgirl, the bit about your bf is so cute. Now I have a vision of a teensy weensy dark Thai guy with white powder on his exposed limbs wearing cuban heels

We had grilled Tasmanian salmon steaks with teriyaki marinade on mashed potato with blanched green beans. Rocket salad with balsamic dressing on the side. No dessert yet.

A real gourmet dish!

From where you/ve got the Tasmanian salmon from?

Gerd

Mmm, yes Gerd it was very nice, I'm still licking my lips. The salmon steaks were THB 660/kg at Tops Central Chidlom Food Hall. Two medium steaks for the adults and 1 small one for our daughter cost THB 360.

I originally went looking for fillets (THB 990/kg) But they were a little grey and curling at the edges. Yuk.

We had grilled Tasmanian salmon steaks with teriyaki marinade on mashed potato with blanched green beans. Rocket salad with balsamic dressing on the side. No dessert yet.

My local Tops (in Bangkok) has lamb shanks for about 180 baht each as well as fresh salmon and celery. Don't know the prices as I don't eat either of the last 2 items. But we cooked lamb shanks in red wine and tomato sauce a week or so ago and I remember that price clearly

I also don't see farang women with Thai men.

Is it fair to say that it is practically impossible for a Caucasian woman to find a nice Thai man who is seriously seeking a relationship (despite the fact that the Thais are obsessed with white skin). I often read that Thai men aren't the best spouses in the world anyway. So girls, how many of you have found real love in Thailand (with short or tall men) and are not supporting your Thai men and their families financially?

Actually Tulipgirl I originally thought there weren't many foreign woman/Thai man partnerships out there either. But in the course of of my work now I come across couples regularly. And mostly they are long-term-married-with-kids so they are not 19 year old bar boy/backpacker couples. They are out there, living their lives in the suburbs like everyone else.

I'm one who found a fabulous, mid-30s, single Thai man & we are now happily married. I don't send money to his parents but do occasionally pay for things. I also occasionally send money to my own mother back home. Why should anyone begrudge me the right to spend my salary as I see fit?

Oh...and he's taller than me by a smidge

MIL is getting on in years and was finding it hard to bend down to her little vegie patch. Hubby and I plan to construct a raised garden bed for her when we visit next month.

The patch we are building on is about 3m x 3m and in full sun until early afternoon. She usually grows a variety of herbs, a few different types of chillies and some green vegies like beans. She tries to harvest enough to decorate a plate of laap or two each day.

MIL's usual method is to throw everything in together in a big mish-mash and forget about anything that fails to grow. She usually ends up reaching around the taller plants to get to the lower ones while means a sore back for her (and sore ears for us when she complains).

We are hoping to plot things out so she can reach things easily. The back of the bed will next to a fence and no access needed behind it, so we can put some mesh or trellis there to tie climbers onto.

Realistically if we plan carefully, what sort of plants do you guys think would do well in this space?

Yum, pity we've already had dinner tonight...I see most of my favourites already here:

French - Indigo, Convent Rd

Romantic dining at a reasonable price - Le Cafe Siam, off Rama III

Brunch and cakes - Kuppa, Suk Soi 16

Where to take a teenager with a big appetite - Coyote, Convent Rd

BBQ ribs - Great American Rib Company, Suk Soi 36

Fancy Thai - Ruen Urai, Surawong

Italian - Antonio's, Suk Soi 31

Hahaha too funny about the baby business. I KNEW that question was going to be high on your relatives *must ask* list.

Wanted to bump this up because someone asked me for a recommendation. Like other doctors, try and try again until you find the right one for you. I had a great, young gyno at BNH but she left and I wasn't comfortable with the replacement. We then moved to Bumrungrad and have been very happy with Dr Chartchai who is one of the endo/laprascopic specialists. The variety of treatment options I've been offered at Bummers is much greater than at BNH and I feel the diagnostics have been better handled. I have thrown a lot of questions at Dr Chartchai and he has patiently answered all of them.

Incidentally in my case the pill made absolutely no difference in my fibroid growth. Apparently there are some people that the hormone treatment just doesn't work for.

Well the pressure has eased up. One of hubby's siblings had a baby so that's taken the focus off us for the moment. Also I've come to better understand MIL's point of view. Some of the happiest times in her village are when a new baby is born and all the older women band together to help the new mothers. She just expected we would want that too.

Well I was in there again last night (bought 2 bottles of traditional but really would have preferred the mushroom). They only had 6 bottles of traditional on the shelf. Either it sells really well or for some reason they only put a few bottles out each time. Yes please use my posts to help get a greater range on Tops shelves.