Goinghomesoon

The rules about single adoptions have been relaxed in the past 12-18 months. I have a single colleague who has gone through the paperwork process and is now awaiting allocation of a child. However singles are apparently required to adopt an older child or those with special medical or developmental needs.

A friend visited DSDW a few weeks ago to enquire about adopting after her emails went unanswered. The social worker she met with they admitted they don't answer their emails but are happy to talk to people who call or walk in. The first step after your initial inquiry is to complete an application form (which they will provide you) plus provide a bunch of documents. Our friend was told single parent adoption is very limited and you may need to be open to a special needs or older child. Chances of adopting a healthy baby as a single are apparently quite low. You do not need to speak Thai.

I wonder if the standard of hospital means different preferences? Aussiebebe's package sounds great but was more than double what my sister in law and her husband could afford. For under 15,000 baht it was really hard for them to find to find a doctor that would support their choice.

My Thai sister in law had a baby just a couple of weeks ago in suburban Bangkok. She changed hospitals twice after she could not find an ob/gyn that would even consider a natural birth. At the third hospital she was able to give birth naturally but was not able to have her husband there, despite her best efforts to have him allowed in.

We were there mid-afternoon Sunday 25 Jan and it was open.

Make sure you use the right email address [email protected]

I buy mine at Villa supermarket, it's wrapped in clear plastic and has a very basic small label, so it's easy to miss in the freezer section.

The National Stadium has a 50m pool. Right at a skytrain station (next door to MBK). No medical certificate required.

Well, one week away from our ceremony we have finally moved beyond the craziness into full-blown preparations. We gave up on trying to ensure set guest numbers but there will be limited food and when it runs out...it runs out. Hubby has been instructed to 'get home' ASAP to help with the spring cleaning and decorating. I'm staying well clear of that, besides I have to work up until the wedding. MIL helpfully chose cream as 'my' colour but after trying a few outfits hubby and I made an executive decision that we liked blue better. We haven't told MIL yet though, thought we would save that one for a surprise The food sagas continue and I imagine will be an issue right up until the event. I have done my bit by buying some nice champers for Mum and I and cases of red wine and whisky for everyone else. I'm surprisingly relaxed at this point, maybe because we have already done the legal marriage back home. I'm ready to enjoy a good party at this point.

Hey Peace, who you calling a baby machine I simply have no maternal desire to create babies myself. I'm not seeking to change Thai culture. I just want ideas on how to get the in-laws to lay off without being rude.

Hi ladies

I'm sure many of you will have been through this. Meet nice Thai man, marry and WHAMMO the first question on everyone's lips is "pregnant yet?" In my heart I know it's considered a natural progression in the Thai village and I'm not insulted by it. But how to explain gently that the two of us - hubby and I - are happy with the two adopted children we have and are not bearing any extras?

Reminding them hubby and I are in our mid to late-30s didn't work (MIL and FIL bore kids until she was nearly 50). Praying for early menopause is possibly an option. Explaining that I have a career and don't want to take a break doesn't cut it (the old example of MIL working in the fields 2 days after childbirth is trotted out). I tried lying and telling them I had medical troubles, they offered to get the local medicine man to make up a special potion. I know they they want to help but it's driving me batty. Poor hubby is constantly trying to explain to them that this is not a negotiable issue and that YES, he asked me to marry him knowing that children were not on the cards. They just don't give up.

So tonight I actually told the truth. I admitted that I don't like babies. Stayed as far away from hubby's 1-day old niece as possible at the hospital. Said the idea of childbirth makes me feel ill, that I've never wanted to give birth and that I'm too old. That I'm happy with the 2 children we have. It was like hubby's 3 older sisters had seen an alien descend. Then they figured the silly farang was joking and guffawed loudly before continuing with lots of ribald jokes about how hubby wasn't doing his manly business often enough. Cos clearly it's his fault I'm not up the duff yet.

Okay, so now I accept that they simply won't take no for an answer. Is cotton wool in the ears the best solution? Do I need to sacrifice a small child to convince them that babyhood ain't for me? Anyone else going through this drama with the in-laws? I am seriously considering having my tubes tied to shut them up .... and we've only been married 9 weeks!

Edited to add the length of marriage & spelling.

I found the collection of girlie mags quite early on in our relationship. Hubby was very surprised that I was not remotely upset. Then again they were just titty mags, and pretty tame ones at that. To be honest I do sympathise somewhat with the OP, as hard core material would probably make me a bit squeamish too. Serious porn is just one of the few things I don't deal with very well.

Can you get a doctor to encourage her back onto her meds while she's still in hospital? Obviously that's a good time to get her some additional medical - and perhaps psychological - support for her mental health.

Hi Michelle, I'm a misplaced Melbournite too. Gotta say one of the biggest lifesavers here for me has been Monday night NETBALL! Honestly, I hadn't played in 20 years and I was sooo sore, but it's so much fun. A great way to meet mostly Aussie women with a smattering of Kiwis and others. Not all of them snobby expats, many really normal people. I know a couple of christian missionaries play, quite a few teachers and lots of stay-at-home mums. If you're interested just let me know.

To be honest the closest thing to DJs or Myer that I found is Central Chidlom - get on the skytrain near your house and get off at the Chidlom station. It just has the same kind of layout, strikes me as quite like the Melbourne Myer store (before the fire!) and isn't too extravagently priced.

If your kids will come here for holidays there's plenty to do, and quite cheaply. Our eldest is 18 and comes over from boarding school for vacation. They won't be bored. Hope you won't be either.

Update, if anyone cares:

All 4 missing have been found amongst the dead.

Dissolution my condolences on your loss. I hope you are able to give your brother and friends a beautiful farewell.

Oh yes, fleecy blankets go down a treat where my in-laws live (northern Thailand) too. It is very chilly there at this time of year. I saw them on sale in Tesco for 99 baht a few days ago, in all the lollypop colours that MIL loves.

The other thing my MIL loves is a small soft neck pillow. The pillows in their market are so hard, she was amazed by the softness of the one we bought her.

To be honest my country in-laws don't eat much western food. Chocolate or candies would probably be thrown away. Smelly creams are stored away in a special corner to be admired but are never, NEVER opened. One thing they do appreciate is a nice big metal tin of cookies they can share with visitors. Then they use the tin later for storage.

Apart from cookie tins they prefer their gifts highly decorated. The more gilt or lace the better. If it has a practical function that's a bonus. We recently returned from Australia and all the gifts for hubby's family came from a touristy gift shop. $5 t-shirts that we could hand out to all and sundry, cheap and colourful pens on strings that kids hang around their necks. A bunch of cheap small cars and super-high-bouncy-balls (which they have in Thailand of course but it was still fun). MIL and FIL don't wear t-shirts so we bought them a clock in the shape of Australia. One of those gifts I would normally roll my eyes at. They loved it and showed it to all their friends.

I agree with Bina, one of the best things is photos. Oh, and take a digital camera. There's nothing better than taking photos and being able to show them to people on the spot, everyone from the oldies down to young kids loves that. It's a great ice-breaker.

Thank you for that response. I very much want to get hold of this. Please give me any details on the bottle that could help in my (helpful) pet shop getting it for me - that will be more practical than my going to Bangkok (I live in Chiangmai.)

(I hesitate to ask you for a pic of the label, but of course that would be the best - especially of it is in thai.)

There's a picture of the label on this website, it is made by a company called Cat Lover - www.ozpetshop.com.au/product_info.php/products_id/1150 The product is Australian-made. I have no idea where to get it in Chiang Mai though...sorry.

My Thai husband was issued a 12-month multiple entry tourist visa too.

I have a serious problem with my (several) cats shredding the fabric or scratching the wood on the furniture, and urgently need to deter this behaviour. Is there anything available - in pet shops or elsewhere - that I can apply to the furniture that will help?

Would be mostgrateful for helpful suggestions.

We use "No Scratch Spray" which is a herbal formula and smells okay to humans. Costs 280 baht a bottle at the pet shop in the parking lot of the main Villa Supermarket in Sukhumvit. I spray it on our couch and also on our silk covered dining chairs and it doesn't mark, so it gets my 'thumbs-up'. Our cat HATES it and runs away when she sees me coming with the bottle. Sounds expensive but we've been using the same bottle for about 6 months.

We order their sausages by the bulk box when we have BBQs and have never had a problem. Maybe the guy is away for Christmas?

Well I dunno...I'm a female and walk around with my handbag when I'm up there...sometimes Thai hubby might even carry it for me...

Also check the Ladies Forum as this has been covered there too. Sorry I can't help, I'm here on my own contract & visa so haven't been through this process with my Thai hubby.

Men with an enthusiasm for life are great. At work I once came across a cameraman for an international news agency. His was a behind-the-scenes, no thanks job and he occasionally put himself in great danger to 'get the story'. Despite this his face literally shone when he talked about his work and how privileged he was to be able to learn so much about events around the world. I could feel his infectious enthusiasm just rubbing off on everyone around. For a moment I nearly forgot he was only about 5 feet tall, his enthusiam for life was huge.

It's non-fiction but I've just finished "What's Happening to Our Girls - how kids are overstimulated, oversold and oversexed". It's a brilliant account of how girls and young women are shaped by modern society. Really good book, although very confrontational for me, who has a young daughter currently hooked on a particular brand of clothing. www.maggiehamilton.org/booksandaudio/ourgirls.htm