richardjm65

The only way is Ethics.

I like thith.

I'm quite happy to have originated from England. I had a good education that would have been more effective if cricket, rugby, sailing and swimming (and girls) had not diverted my attentions. Perhaps the best part of that was the encouragement to read - a habit which remains to be enjoyed to this day. Every book has something to teach. If you can read and understand what you're reading, you can do pretty much anything you set your mind to.

Military service with the RAF was worthwhile, offering an apprenticeship which combined many lessons which also remain with me. I learned to take care of myself and also the value of logical thinking and problem solving, which I believe to be qualities much lacking in this country. Though I was a technical tradesman apprentice, I also learned to fly gliders and powered aircraft, though I had to come to SEA before being able to afford to do the latter. I have to say that the Air Force was not quite the one I'd intended to join, but without doubt the lessons were well worthwhile.

In SEA (where I've lived since 1972) I've had few days when the basics I derived from a British education and upbringing have not been of practical value.

Would I be interested in going back there to live? I don't think so. Here is where the education I received in England really pays dividends. Here, I'm practically a genius!

One of the several anagrams for the much missed Ian Forbes was Barf Noise!

Those amongst the assembled gentlemen who ever listened to cricket commentator Brian Johnston might be interested to know that the BBC is celebrating what would have been his 100th birthday with a couple of radio programmes that are well worth finding and listening to.

Start by entering www.bbc.co.uk/iplayer/radio# in the address bar. Then select radio. Then select "categories". Then select "comedy". There you should find four pages of BBC radio comedy programmes. Try "An Hour With Johnners", a 60 minute show, then try "Brian Johnston - An Innings With Brian Johnston", which runs about three hours.

It's worth it!

I know how you must feel. In one week in 1997, I lost my company and from personal funds paid off all creditors and staff (except my UK suppliers and Yellow Pages here in Thailand). That was a mistake, but I felt morally obliged. Had it not been for my wife (who was then both an employee and my GF), I should have required an Embassy assisted ride back to the UK and the prospect of unemployment.

She owned some land and had enough saved to build us a small house. Having been in S.E.Asia since 1972 I felt that I belonged here and we started again, up country. I guess my point is that with your own effort, plus the support of your wife, you may find the relationship stronger because of the troubles you've been through.

I hope so, and wish you and your family the very best of luck. I also hope that you're able to find a way of getting back to Thailand. Perhaps you'll stay on the forum and keep us informed?

Give the guy a break you embittered old farts. He's struggled to get a point accross in a foreign language. If you don't like his story or have any constructive comments just pass on.

O.K., I just passed on.

YipYip, You say you live in a house. D'you by any chance have water jars filled by rainwater? If so, you might extol the healthy virtues of washing the hair in rainwater. My much beloved adopted this procedure when we moved up-country. She fills a bowl with water from the jar, squats prettily and washes, then conditions and rinses her hair. No clogged drains!

If you don't have rainwater, what about a hose from your main water supply? If squatting prettily is not an option, raise the bowl to an acceptable height.

You could also, of course, assemble the foursome, look suitably worried and seek their advice as to how to deal with the problem, citing destruction of the pipework by using acid as the reason for your concern.

Give it a shot. Prevention is so much better than cure.

I've used this alum crystal for years. You can deal with the sharp edges with either a file or sand paper then running the crystal under the tap for a minute or two whilst rubbing the crystal in your hands. After that, it's smooth as silk.

I believe a lot of the anti-perspirants use this crystal, ground up, as a base. I've also seen these crystals for sale in up-market shops in velvet bags, at prices you would not believe.

It's also a flocculant which a lot of up-country Thais use for clearing the rain water in those big water jars. Works well, but if over-used adds a bit of astringency to the water when you drink it.

But for those of us that really sweat, and really stink when we do, is it really as effective in the natural form as the better commercial products?

Seems to me there are two issues here, the perspiration and the odour. Now for me, (and some other folk I know who use it), it seems like if you stop the perspiration you probably stop or inhibit the odour too. I thought this was a good find because it did not leave my armpits slippery or sticky, (as roll-ons tend to do, also messing up the shirt armpit), it does not have any smell, artificial or otherwise and most important, I'm not being ripped off by Big Pharma. It has also worked really well for me for many years.

That said, before applying it you do need to have a good scrub of the armpits to ensure a fresh base to work from. Let your own nose be your guide in this respect. I don't think you could expect it to de-odourise a pit that smells like the seventh circle of hell. But why not try it for yourself - it's not like it's a big financial investment - ten bahts worth will be enough for a year of daily use.

Got stung about 14 years ago - bit me on the heel through hard skin and the punctures bled. Had intense pain and my entire leg swelled up. I reckon it took a full week before the swelling and pain was finally gone.

Now I kill the buggers on sight. Sometimes a whole nest has hatched and you get loads of the little ones running off in all directions over an hour or so. I kill them all - they're evil bastards. But they do take some killing!

The best deodorant I use is a piece of สารส้ม (sorry don't know the English word).

Ask any Thai Mother or Grand Mother and they will agree.

Can be bought at any market for about 20 THB and will last you up to a year or more

I reckon it's the same crystal stuff that's in the Grace sticks. You wet first, then apply.

Yes wet first. that's the one, but I don't have no clue about the English name, but just a warning, as the only problem with the rocks that they sell at the markets is that they can have some sharp edges, so just be careful on first usage

I've used this alum crystal for years. You can deal with the sharp edges with either a file or sand paper then running the crystal under the tap for a minute or two whilst rubbing the crystal in your hands. After that, it's smooth as silk.

I believe a lot of the anti-perspirants use this crystal, ground up, as a base. I've also seen these crystals for sale in up-market shops in velvet bags, at prices you would not believe.

It's also a flocculant which a lot of up-country Thais use for clearing the rain water in those big water jars. Works well, but if over-used adds a bit of astringency to the water when you drink it.

Mr Chuan, chapter 2. For the same project, we needed a welding machine, which I bought, complete with a welder's hood mask. Mr Chuan, (an experienced man in the use of tools and equipment), managed to come in the following day but with eyes red and streaming, half blind and complaining of a splitting headache and the feeling of hot sand in his eyes.

"Why didn't you use the mask?" we asked. "Chuan no like - too hot and cannot see" he said.

It would have been about a week before he recovered from his arc eyes.

His wife did use the mask and proved to be a better welder too.

1964, and one of my 21st birthday gifts was a two-speed Black & Decker drill. Wherever my tool box went in the world, the drill was in it, ready for use, reliable - almost a friend really.

Fast forward to 1998 and here's Mr Chuan, tasked with building a chicken house for which we used a steel framework, parts of which needed to be bolted, which meant drilling holes. "Chuan, no have drill - borrow can or not?" said he. "Sure", I said, "used one of these before, have you?" Then shrivelled under his withering glance.

About 20 minutes later I'm hearing this weird sound, a bit like my drill, but with a strange, despairing edge to it. Mr Chuan didn't like either of the drill speeds offered and so had set the speed lever between the two. So that screwed the gearbox and that was the end of the Black & Decker and, coincidentally, the last time I loaned a tool to a Thai.

Tool no have? Work no have! Fixed.

This looks like the sort of thread which gravion might have started. You're not related, are you?

I can't help thinking that we may have lost the focus of the original thread - "Thailand needs Cricket". Phuturatica, in an earlier post, challenged us to explain to her the wonders of the game, and we're not doing that. Then there's those Thais, young Somchai and little Lek, eager to learn why it is that Thailand needs cricket and indeed, what cricket actually is, (other than a nourishing snack, that is). We're not helping them with the basics.

We have forgotten that for nine months of our lives, we too, were ignorant of "The Noble Game" but upon our emergence into a world of sporting beauty we learned swiftly and effortlessly and by the age of five could doubtless recite the names of every county player, together with their batting, bowling, wicket keeping and fielding statistics as well as the details of all the famous umpires of their day.

Because we already know most of what needs to be known, we forget that the peripherals now under discussion, such as cheer leaders uniforms and team logos mean little to the new initiates. They need the basics. In my next post, if you think it a worthy idea, I propose to offer a course designed to inform and educate - none of this multiple choice nonsense so prevalent in the nation's education and graduation process today.

Don't mis-understand, I'm as interested in the cheerleaders, their uniforms and personal habits and preferences, as any other red-blooded male, but we owe a duty to those enquiring faces surrounding us, don't you think?

I thought my next post might start with an explanation of "The Ground" - what it encompasses, how it's laid out and its purpose, for without a ground, we are without cricket. It would be a start.

Physically, he much resembled some of the characters you've seen in Pattaya and Phuket.

W G was a Speedo wearing GERMAN?????

Which leads us nicely onto dress codes for supporters...

Obviously sunglasses and an umbrella are de rigeur....

Actually, there are no photographic records of WG in Speedo's as they had yet to be invented. Nor yet sunglasses. He usually appeared in rather dirty, baggy, dishevelled whites bearing obvious evidence of either his breakfast or his lunch and his beard carried similar such souvenirs. He seldom appears in photographs of the time without a somewhat disreputable cap which, some say, may have covered a tendency to baldness. But I doubt if the real truth will ever be known.

He was a corpulent man, much given to bombast and a love for strong ale - hence his similarity to his latter day Pattaya and Phuket lookalikes.

There's no evidence that he behaved as a sex tourist though, and it's doubtful that he would have accepted coffee on field, (iced or otherwise), and there are no records of him ever accepting doughnuts.

Yes, a man much to be admired!

There is one rumoured likeness to those in Pattaya and Phuket in his inability to walk.....................................................

That's quite true. He apparently was clean bowled in one fairly minor match, replaced the bails and batted on stating "the crowd have come to watch me bat, and not the bowler". Given out on another occasion he remonstrated "shan't have it, can't have it, won't have it!" But you'll have to have it!", was the riposte, and back to the pavilion he went.

There, that's another piece of cricketing folklore for phuturatica to tuck away to bring out for admiration when she's with her peers.

Physically, he much resembled some of the characters you've seen in Pattaya and Phuket.

W G was a Speedo wearing GERMAN?????

Which leads us nicely onto dress codes for supporters...

Obviously sunglasses and an umbrella are de rigeur....

Actually, there are no photographic records of WG in Speedo's as they had yet to be invented. Nor yet sunglasses. He usually appeared in rather dirty, baggy, dishevelled whites bearing obvious evidence of either his breakfast or his lunch and his beard carried similar such souvenirs. He seldom appears in photographs of the time without a somewhat disreputable cap which, some say, may have covered a tendency to baldness. But I doubt if the real truth will ever be known.

He was a corpulent man, much given to bombast and a love for strong ale - hence his similarity to his latter day Pattaya and Phuket lookalikes.

There's no evidence that he behaved as a sex tourist though, and it's doubtful that he would have accepted coffee on field, (iced or otherwise), and there are no records of him ever accepting doughnuts.

Yes, a man much to be admired!

phuturatica, thank you for your gracious response to my post. I might have expected sulking and pouting, but no, you're made of sterner stuff - just what the chaps here are looking for. You do realise that the quest for knowledge, understanding and, ultimately, enlightenment will be a hard path, fraught with danger and the possibility of estrangement from other members of your sex.

Records show that cricket first came to Essex in the late 16th - early 17th century, where it took root and flourished. For your homework, I suggest you interest yourself in the history of WG Grace (1848 - 1915). The WG stood for William Gilbert and he was an astonishing character as a batsman, bowler and fielder. You'll be interested to learn that his best batting score was 170 against the Australian test team of 1886 at The Oval. Physically, he much resembled some of the characters you've seen in Pattaya and Phuket.

So now, with your first bit of historical knowledge, you're off and running. Not many ladies know what you've just learned. Try to concentrate your attention on the 3 - day county matches and the international 5 - day test matches, for that's where you'll learn to appreciate tactics. Forget all that 20 - 20 stuff - though briefly entertaining, it's similar to sea-front amusement park crazy golf compared with, say, the British Open.

Once again, welcome.

It looks as if rain has stopped play for today. Even if it stopped now there's an awful lot of standing water which I don't think the ground staff will be able to budge. Never mind, it provides the opportunity to examine some of the reasons why brit's maid seems to be unresponsive to his demonstrations of stroke play. First, a couple of personal questions - is she young or old, married or single and has she shown any interest in cricket in the past?

My guess would be that she has not, (shown any interest, that is), and it could be that she has simply not had a good enough introduction and therefore lacks understanding, rather like that other lady who was here. It's important, I think, to get them whilst still young enough to learn and patiently teach them the rudiments. Maids, especially, can be stubborn - you have only to think of the difficulty of getting her to clean any higher than eye level. You need to get them sat down (on their day off, perhaps) and get them to watch video recordings of test matches. Not too much at first - say 4 or 5 hours only a session, whilst you explain, through your partner as interpreter, exactly what is happening on screen.

Don't concentrate too much on the batting business - she needs to understand bowling too and for coaching in this art I would recommend a study of Jim Laker's style. What a spinner he was, eh? You'll remember his personal best was 10 for 53 against Australia in 1956 at Old Trafford. Once she understands the fingerwork, the bit will be firmly between the teeth and she'll be eager for more. It just takes a little time. Remember, what seems perfectly natural to us, born to the game as we were, may come as a complete surprise to Thai people. And speaking of surprises, my wife was aghast when I slipped in the information this morning, just as she was waking up, that in 1960 Trevor Bailey was able to persuade Jim Laker to join Essex to play three more seasons of county cricket, although, of course, his test playing days were over.

I asked if your maid is married. If so, this gives her a wonderful and unique opportunity to step into her man's world and discuss sport with him on equal terms over a nice meal and a glass of wine. However, it might first be as well to establish that they both support the same county side rather than argue and fight over the better qualities of, say, Essex, over Yorkshire or Somerset.

Anyway, once she better understands bowling, the better able she'll be at making the decision, (when at bat), to play off the front or back foot. That's when your lessons with the broom, brit, will really pay off.

In response to phuturatica's posts #1478 and #1490.

Ah! dear, dear phuturatica, pardon, but your slip is showing. You scrambled to the top of that wall at the Old Trafford Cricket Ground, (almost holy territory, some might say), not once, but often, then peeped over, your little face flushed with the exertion of the climb and the anticipation of what might be revealed, but lacking the knowledge required to fully appreciate the loveliness of the scene below you, you failed to be amused. That is so, so sad. Had you no helpful brothers?

And of course, by posting in this thread you are once again peeping over the wall. Go on now - let the tears flow - it's safe to admit it here. But this time, being a bit braver, you're subconsciously seeking to be admitted to cricket's hallowed halls, to meekly bow the knee and seek the very knowledge you were too scared to ask for when you were but a little girl. How fortunate that you happened on this thread, for here are the very finest of the men who would lead you out of the darkness and Into The Light!

Welcome, phuturatica, you have taken a very important step in life's journey - one that you will never forget!

... Excellent narrative deleted for the sake of brevity and focus... (can I say 'focus' on the internet?)

It's diligence like this that changes a middle order batsman into a great opener. You are to be commended for seizing an opportunity in life's duller moments to improve your stroke play and provide an example to us all. I applaud you!

It would have been perseverance of such a nature that enabled Denis Compton to rise to the occasion when he scored 278 against Pakistan at Trent Bridge in 1954 - a match I remember well as, I expect, do most of you. Though Denis was not to be honoured by his peers by having a cricket bat named after him, (unlike the great Walter Hammond), history shows that he learned his stroke play when sweeping his father's yard. It was noted of him that "he exhibited an untutored artistry on an exalted level that had to be seen to be believed". I'm sure we'd all agree with that. It was also said "that his sweep, often played brazenly late, was his trademark, although he possessed a sublime cover drive and was an accomplished stroke player all around the wicket". So there's proof, (if proof were needed), that your witches broom could take you to great heights sir.

As a complete aside, I thought the members might be interested to know that in November 1955 his right kneecap was surgically removed and placed in the Lord's museum where it resides to this day - a greatly revered relic which draws pilgrims from all over the cricketing world. Despite this surgery, Denis was able to play his final test against the Old Enemy the following year, scoring 94 and 35 not out.

I was just remarking in another thread the contribution that Cricket could make to the virtuous diligence and perseverence of our host nation.

http://www.thaivisa....75#entry5355302

Although Dennis Compton was never honoured by having a cricket bat named after him, his name his celebrated on the fronts of bin lorries throughout the land.

Surely all of us would be proud to visit Dennis Compton's kneecap at Lord's

SC

TV Cricket

Honouring the knees

Thank you for spreading the word

I am trying to work it into the Soy Yoghurt thread but feeling a bit stumped

Ah! Well if memory serves, that's an unforgiving lady and the logic and commonsense which prevail in this rather beautiful cricket thread would be lost on her. No offence - but she is French, and that puts her at a double disadvantage. Best left alone, I think. She certainly would have no understanding of that "Offside Rule".

I hadn't realised that a whole range of garbage trucks had been named after Denis, and I think he would probably been slightly doubtful about that accolade, even though, in a way, it refers (in a rather oblique manner), to his early training in his father's yard. How many Thais realise this, I wonder? Could it be another Denis they're referring to?

It's getting on in the evening and I've been testing the taste benefits of the 500ml Chang Draft against the 330ml Leo up here in the boonies and have not yet come to a useful conclusion. This became obligatory when bad light and rain stopped play for the day. I'll press on regardless, though, and try to have something useful to offer at tomorrow's discussion, when I'll have some words to say about brits efforts to train his maid.

Sorry for my absence but Mrs Ploppy has kept me quite busy lately. However, today's chores got me thinking about you all on here.

It has been quite stormy here recently and I was tasked with sweeping up around the huts and along the blocked water drainage trenches and was handed one of those Thai witches broom sticks..y'know the ones I mean...oft seen in Tom and Jerry cartoons..Anyway it wasn't long before I started thinking of various cricket strokes to make my tasks more interesting..

1. Seperating needed plastic bottle tops from unwanted dry leaves...This is indeed a difficult stroke and needs only the lightest of touches from the bottom of the brush and the touch has to be very precise as you either end up with dry leaves amoungst your pile of bottle tops or you send the bottle tops spinning away for an easy catch..

2. Those stubborn wet leaves. This needs a much stronger stroke and because of the weight of the leaves you have to be committed to carry the stroke through otherwise one or two may sneak under the brush.

3. The lateral sweep. This can be done either side if you are skilled enough. The brush is held at 90 degrees to the body and a swift action can guarantee picking up maximum leaves in one shot.....

4. The water trench sweep..or as I call it the Geoffery Boycot sweep.This needs a stubborn, gritty, no frills sweep. If successfull everybody will ignore the fact that you haven't actually swept any leaves up but wonder how long you have been out there sweeping up.. This sweep is all about feet, knees and body position. The only way to shift the built up slurry in the trench is to get your back behind it man. Get those feet on good ground not on the slippery sides. Get those knees bent and brush upright and put your whole body into the stroke. There, thats it..slowly..inch by inch, hour by hour, day by day, slowly move that shit to the end and let your neighbour deal with the problem....

It's diligence like this that changes a middle order batsman into a great opener. You are to be commended for seizing an opportunity in life's duller moments to improve your stroke play and provide an example to us all. I applaud you!

It would have been perseverance of such a nature that enabled Denis Compton to rise to the occasion when he scored 278 against Pakistan at Trent Bridge in 1954 - a match I remember well as, I expect, do most of you. Though Denis was not to be honoured by his peers by having a cricket bat named after him, (unlike the great Walter Hammond), history shows that he learned his stroke play when sweeping his father's yard. It was noted of him that "he exhibited an untutored artistry on an exalted level that had to be seen to be believed". I'm sure we'd all agree with that. It was also said "that his sweep, often played brazenly late, was his trademark, although he possessed a sublime cover drive and was an accomplished stroke player all around the wicket". So there's proof, (if proof were needed), that your witches broom could take you to great heights sir.

As a complete aside, I thought the members might be interested to know that in November 1955 his right kneecap was surgically removed and placed in the Lord's museum where it resides to this day - a greatly revered relic which draws pilgrims from all over the cricketing world. Despite this surgery, Denis was able to play his final test against the Old Enemy the following year, scoring 94 and 35 not out.

brit1984 said "There is in fact only one problem with France". I'm intrigued, brit. As a wild, wild guess, could it be that the French are crap at cricket? I bet that's it!

Ooops! Quick! Back on topic - I've looked too but havn't found it so far. Villa seems to have the best choices - perhaps there?

Hey Boss...have a look at this...maybe you could incorporate this into why

Thailand Needs Cricket"

http://www.thaivisa....99#entry5349899

Nose picking?... I can't say I have noticed this to be an issue in Thailand. Your first post in that other thread, where you mention private vs public nose picking is the key for me. Public nose picking is clearly not cool, but in private I think it is fine. Anyway, if nose picking in public is indeed an issue here (although I have not noticed) then again Thailand Needs Cricket.

No batsman (or wicket-keeper) has ever picked their nose with their gloves on. While, in theory, it is possible to pick your nose while fielding, the risk of ridicule from one's team mates in case of being hit on the head by a ball that could have been caught, while having one's fingers otherwise occupied with bogie sourcing activities, should be enough to teach anyone to do their nose picking in the privacy of their own home.

Similarly, umpires could pick their nose but, from my experience, they do not. I think this is because the finger they use for signalling a wicket is also their natural nose picking finger. Therefore, picking their nose during a cricket match could lead to them inadvertently giving spurious a wicket decision when in fact they are just trying to shake a sticky bogey off their finger.

I have to agree, in general, with brit1984's comments on the subject of nose picking. It's a personal thing, best attended to in the privacy of one's home. Certainly, I never saw any of the Essex cricketers resort to such personal entertainment, (for that, surely, is what it is). I do recall there was some suggestion during the '56 tour, when, you'll remember, Barbados was trouncing Fiji, that some of the fast bowlers were "slicking" their balls to achieve a better, unpredictable delivery, but it was never proved. Best to leave the subject well enough alone in my opinion. We can do without "gamesmanship" in our noble sport and further discussion might corrupt the very people we hope to attract to the game - the Thai lads who, with just a little encouragement, could very well rise to world class.

As for the suggestion of lady wicket keepers, I find this quite preposterous. I've never yet met a lady prepared to crouch behind three stumps to capture a ball. Women at cricket, I've noted, are far too busy with their makeup, finger nails and hair to make a serious contribution to the match. Trevor agreed with me on this.