smo

It's just strange that there has been no movement since it cleared customs last week. Usually even in transit there would be additional scanning/update when going onward from one location to another. 

Thanks Joe for the tip. I just looked up on Thai Post page. Last update was that it arrived at JFK airport on June 21.

I sent mine via  thai post registered mail route on June 14. It arrived in New York a week later and cleared US customs the next day on June 22. That was the latest update and it's been "in transit" ever since . Has the letter gone astray? What is the quick/best way to inquire:  US Post, SSA Manila, SSA USA? Thank you in advance for any advice/input.

Back in my -at the dawn of craigslist-dating days, there was one hunky guy I remember whom after several laborious attempts I had to let slip away, simply because the deal-breaker was for when he showed up at the door, I had to present myself as a female (CD as the term used in the States.)  We liked each other “merchandises” (ie body parts), he agreed to all various practices that I proposed. But mentally he could not see himself having sex with another guy! So if I could bugger him while donning woman attire and make-up then we’d be all set! 

I think  in general, the spectrum of human sexuality is so wide-open (pun intended) that some labels kinda help in sorting things out at first; though  whether that would help clearing up or adding confusion later on, depending on how hardcore things are going to get, is another matter. All my Thai (female) friends, invariably after my coming out to them, whenever we walk past a woman underwear stand would pause and throw me a questioning look; or get all excited when they found me a rather effeminate  (“queenie” in gay parlance) acquaintance whom they think would make a good match. When pressed - meaning no laughing matter - they really wanted to know if I am a “king” or a “queen.” The answer to this (had to be either/or for it to make sense to them) laid to rest all that they ever wanted to know about me in the realm of gayness. 

In my realm of gayness, as a homosexual male, I’m indifferent to most thing pertaining to the female body (except for one, more on that later) even though personally I bear some feminine traits as found on most gay men at one time or another. The thought of having anything to do with woman genitalia is, speaking in the context of sexual intimacy, not repulsive, but simply an idea that I feel strongly averse to, similar to adding palaa to my somtam. (Same could be said for a straight man if he happened to think about what he would do - or rather not - with another guy’s penis.)

That one female part that I take exception to, even with a passion, is the chest/breasts area. I agree when someone earlier on this thread says that majority of gay guys don’t care for tits. But to me, a guy with a nice smooth ample chest (suitably adorned with suckle-able areolas) is lot more desirable than if he simply has a huge dick (which, truth be told, always makes me pause with trepidation - another area I know I’m in the minority of.) One time I hit the jackpot, when a guy let me take off-shoulder pics of his bouncy “buxom”; which when shown to my then 3 female housemates, of various ages at the time, became instant object of envy : “Oh, look at that, I wish mine'd (still) look like those!” 

                                       [“Those were the days, my friends…”]
 

21 hours ago, harrry said:

The wat is better known as Wat Phra Non..as it has a reclining budah.  It is very near me so PM me if you want any further help.  The driveway is near one which goes to a tutoring school.

The YMCA is one of the better courses of Thai.  Either at the city location or north of the river.  Be warned.  Learning thai will help you but older people here do not speak it well as they still speak Northern Thai.

 

Thank you Harry, for being helpful without being condescending.  People like you unfortunately are rare on this forum, as this thread has proven so far.

I just sent you a PM

3 hours ago, Sheryl said:

Hua Hin Hospital.

 

It is the only government hospital there.

 

http://www.huahinhospital.go.th/

 

https://www.google.co.th/maps/place/Hua+Hin+Hospital/@12.6081509,99.9458614,17z/data=!3m1!4b1!4m5!3m4!1s0x30fdaa7d4e721e81:0x6a4c915bc88991fd!8m2!3d12.6081509!4d99.9480447?hl=en

 

 

Thanks SheryL for the info and the prompt reply, as always.

I will definitely check it out once I get to Hua Hin (which btw will be first time there for me;-)

1 hour ago, gamini said:

There is an excellent government hospital InHua Hin, with very reasonable charges. With. a special facility for foreigners to pay BT 200 and get seen straight away and taken to the top of the queue at the pharmacy and check out. it's radiology department is probably the best equipped in Thailand with the latest MRI imaging and the radiologist is quite the nicest doctor I have ever met anywhere. She speaks perfect English.

Could you give out the name of this hospital? Thanks and much appreciated.

8 hours ago, Flustered said:

I can't believe this is a serious post as it only took 30 seconds on Google maps to pinpoint your location. The Wat is very well known and that should have given you the start place.

 

Assuming you are genuine, the address is Nhong Boor Rd and the temple is Wat Chetawan.

 

The hot springs are at Pha Soet and about a 20 minute drive form this location.

 

Try easy study Thai in Jedyod Road.

Wow, just because I didn't possess same 30-second google maps skills such as yours and had to ask for help therefore my post was less than serious/genuine? If you were not in such a rush to judgement you might,  just might with a bit of luck obtain some insight into my inquiry which is where I was in relation to the general layout of the town (shopping, school, farang hangouts, etc.) - not the location per se which is easy enough to read on my HERE app. Keep in mind that the three days I spent in CR were among the non-English speaking people and it was hard enough to get intelligible info from them when your Thai is at bor song level (year 2 in elementary education), let alone knowing which Thai street names correspond to which English translation.

If you "can't believe" and had to "assume" then why wasted your time? I trust TV forum members in general to be smart enough to know a troll when they see one. I myself would be better off without your negative comment, which unfortunately you couldn't keep to yourself, and which has nevertheless stunk up my thread. Have you thought first what if my post is indeed genuine and serious, before soiling it with your casting doubt upon? This is totally uncalled for.

I declared myself a newbie didn't I, which I thought would allow me some slack in not knowing what is where/where is what. I'm not asking for a warm welcome from local expats, I only hoped for some common COURTESY and GENEROSITY such as one can expect when asking another fellow human being in the street for direction: "How far am I from the bus terminal? the clock tower, etc?" I guess such inquiry when put forth to your school of behavior would elicit this kind of response: "Oh gosh, can't you read your google map?"

Just spent three days in Chiang Rai with my group of Thai friends. We stayed in town at friends house in a lovely jungle like closure just off the main(?) street. The morning before we left for the airport to go back to BKK I asked the host couple if there is any housing nearby, they took me to one HB residence about 50 yards from their house and there the manager told me there might be one room to be vacant next month. When we got back to the house she called and said yes, it will be and would I like to put down a small deposit. I said yes and gave the bank note to my host to give to them later.

My impression of CR is I like it! Friends took me to the White Temple and Singha Park both bore me to tears. The last day they took me to the thai-Myanmar border market which also bore me to tears (except I had no tears left to shed at this point.) On the way to these grand destinations we passed  numerous signs to this waterfall that hot spring which to my friends were as exciting ( or maybe less) as the next pit stop. However we did visit a relaxing after-harvest lychee farm and a delightful afternoon open market in Mae Chan and I was telling to myself, patience, patience, we will be seeing more of this in the future. Yeah, we can make it happen!

This morning before I booked the plane ticket to go back to CR I called and confirmed with the manager (husband this time, who spoke some English) He said yes they would have the room cleaned awaiting me on the 1st of June. The total I will have to shell out upon taking the room =One month rent+ one month deposit- minus the  reservation deposit I had  given earlier.

Here are a few info I would like to ask from TV member ChiangRai residence if you could take the time to answer I would be very thankful:

a) where in town was/am I? Below are some pics of the surroundings. pics 1+2+3)the driveway leading to the house from the main street.
4+5)The school across the street from our driveway.6)standing at the house entrance gate facing the street, looking to the left is this 3 way intersection and a supposedly famous wat at the opposite corner 7) looking to the right is the school and going further in the direction of HB residence my new home a few houses down the street. If you continue on in this direction the street will get more busy and turning right at the next big intersection (on the way to the airport) will be a street full of restaurants eateries coffee shops and what not and this I figure will be my new neighborhood hangouts.

b    )I learned that there are 5 universities/colleges in town? A friend connection works in one that is specialized in education, but that lady didn't seem to warm up too much to my further inquiries. What I would like to know is which learning institutions offer courses in Thai language learning (such as the Phayap University in CM)? Not to get a degree necessarily, but simply learn to speak read and write.

c) Hopefully he local Thai hosts will be my first and foremost guide to settling down in CR (right now I'm thinking of just coming up from BKK for some breath of fresh air once or twice a month, thus my renting a room long term). But eventually I would need to break out on my own. I was told that taxis are the only public transportation in town, songthaews would take you out of town, so what else is there for one to get around (I don't want to drive neither 4 or 2-wheel) except on foot? I think I will have to spend sometime at BigC, Central and the like to get a feel of local farang life. I think we passed a BigC quite often when going around for various sundries, and a short drive  would soon take us past Qhouse, Like and D condo buildings which have all been mentioned on this CR forum. In the same token I think we also passed Central shortly after BigC. They are all near my neighborhood by car

d) last but not least what waterfall/hot springs are easy to get my feet wet at first so to speak without demanding too much long distance driving from my host/guide (I will be paying for their services and gas expenses of course.)

Thank you in advance for any inputs, which will be very helpful and much appreciated. See you soon!

5 minutes ago, Khon Kaen Dave said:

smo. This post was so long ago, that i have no intention of reiterating,or going back over it. So, we will have to agree to disagree. But i aint been married for 30 years yet. But it seemed to work for my mum and dad, god bless 'em.

No Khun Kaen Dave, I'm not disputing anyone point of view, and no one has to agree or disagree with any one, this wasn't what I asked for. Various points of view what I wanted and got. I was just putting yours and what I thought a different angle from another member and try to see if I can reconcile the two schools of thought in my head, kind of thinking out loud if you will. And hopefully my  follow-up summary would put the thread to rest.

For now, again thanks.

5 minutes ago, smo said:

To sum things up from various inputs/observations of all and sundry: the husband has abdicated responsibilities sometime ago as the breadwinner and left that role to the wife. She begrudgingly took it up, having no choice and wearing herself down in the process. Moreover, the whole family is not doing well partly because the children are not helping but still living off the household means ie they still weigh the parents down. Love/intimacy or whatever embedded as such in our farang concept is no longer part of the discussion, money is. In the meantime each of the couple is left to find personal peace/contentment within him/herself and whatever strenght it takes to carry on. The outlook seems like the wife's health will run down and she collapse on the job one day, only then will there be some (major or minor) decision to be made. But right now, life as it is goes on.... 

 

(At my local mall, on an empty floor, if not for one Fuji restaurant branch, one middle-age still looking strong man in nice clean uniform stands guard outside the restaurant entrance, half of the time leaning on the balcony trying to prop himself up from falling asleep. That is his post, not more than 3 square feet of real estate, where he would spend the major part of his work hours. I could never understand how one can work as such job day in day out. But now I think my friend the husband is the type that would handle such occupation splendidly!)

Sorry for the accidental double posting (clicking quote instead of edit). the edit here was from 10 to 3 square feet

To sum things up from various inputs/observations of all and sundry: the husband has abdicated responsibilities sometime ago as the breadwinner and left that role to the wife. She begrudgingly took it up, having no choice and wearing herself down in the process. Moreover, the whole family is not doing well partly because the children are not helping but still living off the household means ie they still weigh the parents down. Love/intimacy or whatever embedded as such in our farang concept is no longer part of the discussion, money is. In the meantime each of the couple is left to find personal peace/contentment within him/herself and whatever strenght it takes to carry on. The outlook seems like the wife's health will run down and she collapse on the job one day, only then will there be some (major or minor) decision to be made. But right now, life as it is goes on.... 

(At my local mall, on an empty floor, if not for one Fuji restaurant branch, one middle-age still looking strong man in nice clean uniform stands guard outside the restaurant entrance, half of the time leaning on the balcony trying to prop himself up from falling asleep. That is his post, not more than 10 square feet of real estate, where he would spend the major part of his work hours. I could never understand how one can work as such job day in day out. But now I think my friend the husband is the type that would handle such occupation splendidly!)

On 5/16/2017 at 6:45 PM, Thaidream said:

When you have been married for 30 years or more- sex is not the primary preoccupation. In Thailand, it's easy to find a new partner- but after 30 year there is a bond that ties people together; children; and the highs and lows of life.  Most young people will never find out as their divorce rate averages around 50% .

On 5/16/2017 at 9:21 PM, Khon Kaen Dave said:

Your rationale is more along the Western lines, when husband and wife worked together to make a better life for them and their kids.Many couples made a success of it, many didn't. But win or lose, they loved each other, and that was what held families together, win, lose, or draw. The emotion of love, or compassion,, is not an emotion felt by Thais.They do not understand love as we know it. Love to them is feeling secure and safe in a relationship, when the rest of their friends are not.

Seems like we have two opposite view points as above...or are they not?

On 5/16/2017 at 11:41 PM, whaleboneman said:

Seems silly to try and get a house when they are having trouble making car payments. More debt will definitely not help this couple.

You're right whaleboneman in this aspect, the couple seems to have money management issue (especially the wife - thus explainiing the husband having his own atm card.) I myself have to be aware not to let myself treated as a walking atm for them sometimes as (some of us) farangs are so eager to open up our wallet.

On 5/20/2017 at 6:54 PM, snooky said:

Here is a poem by (I think) Susan Spaulding that I found many years ago that will fit in with your post.

 

-

Two shall be born the whole wide world apart;   And speak in different tongues, and have no thought   Each of the other’s being, and no heed;   And these o’er unknown seas to unknown lands   Shall cross, escaping wreck, defying death,         5 And all unconsciously shape every act   And bend each wandering step to this one end,—   That, one day, out of darkness, they shall meet   And read life’s meaning in each other’s eyes.   And two shall walk some narrow way of life         10 So nearly side by side, that should one turn   Ever so little space to left or right   Their needs must stand acknowledged face to face.   And yet, with wistful eyes that never meet,   With groping hands that never clasp, and lips         15 Calling in vain to ears that never hear,   They seek each other all their weary days   And die unsatisfied—and this is Fate!

Wow, now I just want to lie down and die... a different version  of "Les Miz" shall I say? By the way has anyone seen "Sliding Doors" which gives viewer (dis)safistaction to know both outcomes, should one be so curious... starring Gwyneth Paltrow.

Wow, it must be the rainy season! ie when it rains it pours. My original post went on board the 1st of May, immediately fell into oblivion which made methink TV members are not interested in non-inter-racial marriage therefore me barking up the wrong tree. Then 10 days later, in the last 24 hrs a torrent of replies comes in like the downpour, and still is as I type....

YES - in regard to:

1) money - wife holds the purse strings; they are not the stingy type, probably due to remaining habits from their once affluent gone-by era; at present time, after/before any so-called frivolous expenditure ("let's go to Santa Fe upstairs (at the Mall) for a quick bite!") there is always some quick under-bated-breath discussion. The husband occupies himself with counting pennies, or in this case, satangs.

One post here, I think from Thaidream, really hits the nail on the head = money => the house. Case in point, the reason they took me to their village over Songkran was to see if that's the place I think I can see myself retire to (on their plot of land and therefore would  "fork out" to build "our" house where we can all get old together!) Being a veteran TV member I of course demurred! The wife seemed quite disappointed but being a good sport, got over that pretty quick. The hard blow for her was when the bank turned them down. It seemed to have caused a big fracas between the two of them that luckily I was spared of, but did notice the fallout effects nevertheless.

2) sex - I'm not sure their sex live is still salvageable. She has passed her sell-by date and no effort, though not for lack of trying, to "redo" herself would bring about any improvement except into sharp relief the hopelessness of it. The fact that she doesn't see it/herself realistically is one common human foible (most of) us (still) hold dear until someone tells us to take a good hard look in the mirror. As for him, yes I agree with one previous reply that their interaction/respect for each other (mainly him) or lackthereof might have esmasculated him to the point where sex, or more importantly, intimacy has gone out the window.

On the other hand, I can imagine, as some posts here have also mentioned, that in a 30-year plus marriage sex no longer plays an important role - but where do we go from here? Giving up sex altogether? Never having gone down that road before (hmmm,... more on that later) I myself wonder how any married/partnered male could go without sex for any long(ish) period of time (loud disclaimer here:****no offence intended to anyone****) and not becoming a timebomb of sort. 

3) the children - again I agree with one reply here that they need a good kick in the butts. The eldest girl has recently found work, or rather her boyfriend has found some office supply delivery work that she can accompany him and help out, though that does mean taking the family SUV and leaving the parents to take bus/taxi to work/shop at Makro.

4) ***last but not least*** the 3rd wheel ie yours truly - I think I have become the surrogate child to both of them even though I'm older than both. The fact that I'm gay a) and farang seems oddly enough/or thereby to be the novelty they need to spice up their humdrum life - b  )takes away any sexual tension that (western) observers might see this as a potential menage a trois! (she does joke that I might want to take him out for a date, "see how it goes...") Thus I agree with one previous reply saying that I might be of help to their strained circumstance: like a court jester, I injected much needed levity and cheerfulness into their seemingly no-exit situation which might just go on until?(=the original question/topic of this thread).

Please keep more coming - I appreciate/enjoy all brain-storming, butt-kicking inputs so far.

Two additional scenarios I've seen in Thailand:

a) At water parks/swimming pools mothers would stride into men's locker/changing room with their little boys and help them in bathing/changing matter just as they would normally do at home. Nobody screams...(personally I find this rather endearing, "Mama's love!"). I can't tell whether the opposite also happens? (Fathers stride into women's locker...)

b  ) this is more in the "Is that a gun in your pocket?" category. At my local BigC, there is the security personnel at the entrance and exit after payment. One senior lady posted at the exit, one of her jobs is to make sure that the general staff (usually one generation younger) would not sneak out store items when they leave the store on their break. Her expedient method is what I would call light groping over their body - from chest to groin areas - on both male and female. Nobody screams either....

One piece of relevant background info I forgot to put in: they're not the Isaan dark buffalo country pumpkin type (not meant to be derivative), they both have spent most their adult lives in Bangkok - wife used to be an accountant, husband worked in the hardware industry. One day he threw in the towel, quit his job and as a result the couple lost their cherished house where the kids were raised and now it seems the wife has taken over the ship's helm (husband is content to be washing 200 dirty dishes a day).

Maybe that's when they started down the slippery slope?

This is really not my business but it concerns my friends, thus somewhat of my concern. In a nutshell, my close friends, a Thai  couple, is drifting apart. They are working class, in their mid (her) late (him) 50s, running a chicken rice stand on campus canteen where I frequent. They don't talk normal to each other anymore, any exchange in close quarter quickly turns to bickerings (with her usually having the last word, in high pitch; the husband is pretty passive, left to sulk.) Two of their 3 all grown up daughters, still live at home and chip in (whenever they can) with living expenses, car payment etc.

Last time I (closely) looked, they both appear resigned. I usually come around at the end of business day, to find her sit sleeping at the table and him glued to his mobile. During joking moments, when asked why she looks tired and unhappy, among many practical reasons (lately the bank turned down their loan to buy a house which they desperately want to own, car payment is breaking their back, their kids are not working, etc...) she let out that he hasn't touched her for several months, now. When we spent Songkran together in her home village, the whole gang sat around drinking and on more than one occasion everybody (including the husband himself) joined in the joke, "he is sleep(y) but not (sleep)ee!" The wife's explaination was that he no longer does it riep roy, therefore she doesn't want it (sour grapes?) I half-joked to her that it's time to get him a mia noy, or let him have his occasional "sexcapades" to the girlie spa, then all would be well again. She says no, if it comes to that she would leave.

Recently I got a jolt when we joked about her appearance (too skinny and what not- the reality is she is turning into an old hag), the husband slyly showed me a pic on his mobile phone, the bare chest of an old female (I sincerely hope it wasn't hers) and asked, "do you want that?" - which I translated as "do you think I want that?" I catch him occasionally throwing a quick glance at other women (younger... with more meat on their bones ...) which I'm sure doesn't escape her either.

They spend all their waking moments together (due to the nature of their job selling food, after work I sometimes accompany them to Makro to get stuff for the next day) never take a day off except for Songkran and family ritual (got to do with the departed) days. My showing up is usually taken as a welcome diversion to both of them and sometimes I feel as if I was acting like a buffer between the two. I wonder how long it be before one of them slashes out at the other with a meat cleaver? In the West, actually I should put it this way, if this were a western couple, this would be time to call on a divorce lawyer. In the East, ie in Thailand, the addition of  a mia noy - or kik - would usually "fix" it.

3 hours ago, mikebike said:

I would consider getting a custom bicycle jersey or tshirt with "if unconscious take me to govt hospital" printed in Thai in very large type front and back. Future issues solved.

Or a placard hung on the front panier with words (I suggest in both Thai and English, one never knows, in case the ambulance happens to be run by foreigners, Singaporeans especially) to that effect, flanked by a couple of tiny flags one black/white stuck on each side. 

Just came back from a Songkran home visit with friends, a Thai couple and their daughter and her bf, to a village 25 kms out of Phrae. The young couple, daughter with bf, left after two days with their peers. Thanks to them I had a chance to go to the rapids in the Mae Yom national park nearby. Once the young people were gone, I was left to my own device. My thai friend the wife took the SUV out almost every day to go to class reunions, the husband left at home with me was content to lie down and be glued to his mobile, at least he doesn't smoke or drink. I think he was as happy as mum being away from the wife for a change. Asking him to go somewhere would get him to say that "it's too hot (are you crazy?) to step outside the house" and this is from someone who spends the rest of the year stuck in steamy (weather-wise that is) Bangkok.

To get something for breakfast, sweet sticky rice along with some bananas and fresh soy milk for example, I had to rely on the kindness of one of the sister in laws who goes every morning to the village market, which opens and closes between 4 and 5 am. To get some thing I can eat for dinner I had to jump for the chance to go to the evening market, which is in the retail area of the moo baan, 6 kms from the house, that is if the SUV gets back in time. The rest of the time I couldn't eat their homecooked meals, which has kapi (shrimp paste) in every dish, and this is served 3 times a day. Never in my life I would have thought I'd have to walk around scavenging fruits from the trees!

One time I took the whole gaggle of sisters/sis in laws, to a starbuck style coffee shop in town proper, and they turned it into their happy hour,  downing endless chang bottles along with plates of buffalo wings (or a local version of that). Soon I started drinking at home with the men as well (and the women also joined in as well), endless shots of homebrew whiskies (notoriously high in alcohol content), at least at these gatherings there is something barbecued or other that I can eat.

I think I'll die of boredom or starvation, whichever comes first, if I stay on longer - or my liver would just call it quit. A family drive somewhere - to the water reservoir for example, which happened once or twice during our 10 days visit - invariably had someone getting lost because they took a wrong turn, or were told to take a wrong turn. Then the whole convoy would simply halt and wait. That sure happened on the first day when we went to the rapids, but that was a bit further than their normal stomping grounds so at least I wouldn't blame it on their cluelessness at first. But soon I was glad that I didn't speak or understand much thai, amidst all that constant chatter; my ears were so thankful when all that died down at night, and I never thought that the sound of the gecko, "kack keh, kack keh" as if chiming the late night hours, could be so soothing.

The first day after we came back to Bangkok - I was singing the Marseillaise on the journey home - I made numerous trips to stock up my refrigerator that the reception downstairs in my building thought I was having a party! (Yes, with I, me and myself.) Today the husband asked me if I'm going back next year, that got him a painful jab in the ribs.

On 3/31/2017 at 3:53 PM, pogpog said:

We went to CM immigration today, at 10am, for a 30 day extension.

They were polite and very helpful. Out of there in less than an hour.

Well done!

And the cherry on top is their newly renovated bathroom in the basement. Definitely a notch above Motel 6's! I was there this afternoon couldn't believe my own eyes so I whipped out my phone and snapped a pic. What you don't see in the photo are the new electronic toilet seats (a saner and simplified version of the japanese shenanigans one has to put up with at Terminal 21; this one does the job with just two separate WASH and BIDET functions, though at some point if you go overboard they simply shrug "is tis what you want?" and merge into one big jet! might as well...) And what you don't hear from the photo is Bach played in the background, I thought I had died and gone to Immig heaven! I liked it so much that I used it before during and after my travails in the office upstairs. Definitely something to look forward to comes next year pilgrimage!

[Correction: this is at Chaeng Wattana , not CM. For some reason there is no quote button at the OP post so I couldn't quote from there.]

7 hours ago, Marc K said:

I really like this story. And yes it typifies what many of us have experienced in our lives. Personally I am glad you didn't get off the songthaew with him because you probably can conjure up a better ending in your imagination than what with high probability would have happened in reality. It's more tantalizing and titillating in your imagination. On the other hand, who knows for sure, we never know where certain Y's in the road might take us, do we.

Thanks Marc, for your kind words. Glad to be the first post that "broke you in" on this board, and welcome! Yeah, I do my best to cling on that "HIGH probability" that things usually don't happen the way we fantasize about. It's just the few percent that got away that are "killing me softly!" And at our/my age they're worth their weight in diamonds with each passing years.

On 3/26/2017 at 7:53 PM, tominbkk said:

 

You are a hopeless romantic, which is a good thing in my book, but I think Thailand is the wrong place to be for romantics.  Romance is not part of the Thai pysche, they are much more pragmatic.  Money or lust is primary, but when the libido is calmed and the fiddler is paid there ain't much left behind the curtain.  I found many more romantics in Latin America, in Asia, meh.

Again, tommy I agree with you. Matter of fact, just recently so, it has dawned on me that I wouldn't be able to find "true love" with a thai guy - or "in Asia," as you put it - simply for reason quoted above. It's like barking up the wrong tree! So forget about having deep, meaningful conversation the kind we have with friends in the States, the "meeting of the souls" so to speak. I look at the farang husband/thai wive couples and rack my brains to think of what kind of pillow talk they might be having at night. I would find them sitting at food court after shopping upstairs at BigC, all eyes on the filled-to-the-brink shopping cart, and wonder is that all there is?

Part of the side-effects I'm still experiencing and which seems to be "psychedelic" (read psychotic) is that I still have to now and then pull myself away from a romantic fantasy that my mind left on its own device would try to pluck out of the songthaew episode; which is mind-warping in the same way of defining jealousy as "all the fun you THINK they had." Now I know what people mean when they say, "Pull yourself up." On the other hand I remember looking at myself in the mirror when I came home all haggard that fateful afternoon, and had to exclaim, "Ugh, you truly look like grandpa!" This bit of self-reflection surprisingly did a better job at calming me down than a fistful of Prozacs!

Incidentally I just rewatched "My Fair Lady" last night. Poor Eliza, falling in love with an old "confirmed bachelor!" She got her heart broken when it was plain to see that personally he didn't care one wit about her. Broke her heart a second time when she made a return visit to Covent Garden and came to the realization that you can't go home again. The professor himself went through a similar emotional melt down when he returned home and got a taste of what it felt like when someone had walked out of your life.

However his was not heartbreak, it's desolation alright that lacks the romantic element. He would suffer more I think simply because his ego was too big. Eliza would do alright, being the pragmatic kind - which was what had led her to seek his help at the first place. Funny that Shaw conceded that "what really happened" afterward was that she married Freddy and opened a flower shop funded by Col. Pickering. [And if you pressed him further, I bet Shaw would reveal, under bated breath, that Prof. Higgins sold his house and eloped with the colonel to India, with his mom's blessing. Wow, "wouldn't it be lovely?"] 

Sorry for yapping away on what seems unrelated topic. But truly what got me through the last few evenings was rewatching old romantic favorites while munching on heavily buttered popcorn. Of course you can guess which of these characters I identified myself with most in this instance? The one who sang "On the soi where you live..."

11 hours ago, tominbkk said:

You only live once, age is just a number (legal and consensual issues aside).   Be a little shameless, wink back!  Have a rough quickie and if he's after your money well decide if he's worth it or not.  Maybe he likes being with daddy, who cares?

 

Lots of moralistic guys on this board.  

Well, I wouldn't call my friends here moralistic...Let's just say they're a pragmatic bunch, after all they're the ones who pulled me up from the ditch! So I listened to the consensus to look at the numbers and calculate the odds which I have to admit is pretty high against the possibilities of "true" love, and learned to live with that. However, I agree with you, Tommy: Have a rough quickie, let's call it "Last Tango in BKK," since for guys my age, anything we do or happens to us at this stage in our lives seem to be the last-to-last call. All the more we need to be "a little shameless" because truly what is happening to us might just have enough time to happen once but not once more.

Again the old idiom rings true, about rather to have loved and lost than not at all, that's what makes life worth living! Thats what was killing me, to have not grabbed the chance for one quickie with the handsome young one, to go through the courtship of love while it's still blind, to do the peacock dances, the romantic rendezvous, the honeymoon by the seaside, on and on - all the while telling myself "I have worked hard for this and damnit, I deserve it!" And if likely to find out that oh yeah, the romance does come with a price tag, then it would be time like you said to consider making the purchase (come to think of it, it doesn't really make much difference at this point... A bittersweet romance, ahhhh, the memory of which will make you smile when you expire your last breath: Priceless!)

By not taking that chance, I have yanked myself back empty-handed to everyday life reality: the bus stop with a thousand faces, the traffic jam, the empty soi... There's no sweet, no romance - only that that reality now tastes a bit bitter, because a door has shut behind you. You know that there won't be anyone coming along anytime soon to sit opposite you on the songthaew and make you feel like Cinderella riding in that golden carriage. However you just keep looking.

Final update - the State refund came on the 17th (3 days after filing); Federal the 24th (a week after filing). Courtesy of TaxAct, totally free of charge!

On 2/26/2017 at 9:14 AM, robertthebruce said:

 

 

The story is told in three parts with three separate actors, the final actor, who is actually or was an Olympic Medalist, was excellent...

 

He actually looked like. 50 Cent the singer....., Thug like appearance, but Excellent part he played, I loved the film......

 

Kind of Sad....., the hardships of being Black and Gay.....

Dear Bob,
The moment you hear a comparison of Hacksaw Bridge to Moonlight, you know that it's time to fold it (this topic) right? I'm sure you know what I mean. For me the one ( actually two big) pieces of PC tokenism of the show was when the Directing and Score awards go to LA LA Land, instead of _________  (again I'm sure you can fill in the blank here, hint: just one word with 2 syllables.)

Now that I've put in my two cents, you can close the thread. And treat yourself to another viewing of Moonlight, I assure you'll be delighted and got your time much better spent (than threading the topic here.)

ps - Btw, when I hear about "hard-hitting movies for adults," Liam Neeson comes (or shall I say, sprints) to mind. I wonder the next Taken movie is number 5 or 50 in the series? For the moment, I think Kong the skull island would do (the hard-hitting) for now, if not then Logan. And can you explain why a movie is generally "more interesting" if based on a true story? I never got that....