dave9988

Long story but I have been talking to this checkout girl at my local 7-11. We always joke around and sometimes if its not busy

there i will buy a beer and we will sit there and talk about everything under the sun. She looks 20ish, stunning looks, lek and real nice

personality.

SO we were talking the other day and she was complaining she only makes 8,000 baht a month working graveyard shift 60-70

hours a week. So very jokingly i said "be my girl and and i take care you". She thought for a minute and says "OK".

So i laughed it off thinking she was just joking as we always do.

I go in today and she corners me by the beer cooler and says "When u make me girl you?". Again i just laughed but she said "no laugh i

no joke you". I look down at her and the bad wheels in my head turning. Then i said to myself no she is just joking so i said "I dont believe." She comes over close and holds my hand and says seriously "me no joke". Then the bad wheels in my head start

spinning wildly and i almost dropped 2 big bottles of singha on the floor. We talked more and I said let me think about.

Well should i

A) go for it

start shopping at Family Mart

C) start shopping at my local Wat

D) Become a Monk

E) Move to Koh Lan and sell trinkets on the beach

F) Get on the Dr Phil show

G) Double my Meds

Thai girls are so shy. Judging by your name, I would wager money that part or all of this is fabricated.

1. 7/11 is never quiet regardless of time of day, so it would be very weird and uncommon for a farang to sit around drinking beer and joking with the cashier. The rest of the staff is doing what?

2. 20ish girls dont work in 711 really, and if they do, you can bet your ass they are not attractive.

3. Again, Thai girls are shy and her grabbing your hand and cornering you sounds unrealistic.

4. If you spend all this time hitting on her why are you so scared and shocked now when she says she is interested in you?

5. Post your photo, it will give us a good laugh I am sure, regardless if its a true story or not.

6. Jeez, on the internet every farang has a stunning girl friend and gik lined up, and then in real life all I see is The Swamp Thing's step-sister walking around with Mr. Beer Lao Tank Top.

I don't have a luk krung but have plenty of luk krung friends. Some balanced, some not. IMO those who will have issues are the ones who aren't able to identify with both or either cultural backgrounds that they have, almost existing in a limbo state. It's worse when there's a broken home type situation thrown in. YMMV.

One reason I wouldn't put my kids to an International School.

the other reason probably being that you are cheap.

So, it seems as tho the OP isn't so concerned with Thai male-female relationships but rather looking for advice on how to cheat on his partner and not get caught?

If so, why not just say so? Why the need to bring in the usual derogatory generalizations about Thai men and women?

sorry, but i thought that was exactly what i was doing? were my intentions not clear to anyone else?

where was i being derogatory to Thai people?

Yes, I am making very good money. I think that is one of the reasons that I feel entitled to it. I also feel like if I were to stop desiring to sleep with other women, than I would have less ambition to make money, as you apply.

edit: never mind heng, you answered my question above.

You have to lie so the other person will feel better (right speech). It is part of the culture.

Yeah, but an alpha male should not have to lie. I do not want to. I would much prefer to say, here is how I feel, if you really love me you should stay with me.

BUT... That is why I asked about "Thai Culture"... Perhaps, the game must be played differently. Perhaps, I should just do the sweet talk and compulsive lying thing.

I am undecided thus far.

Go to Central, and ask them where the pants department is.

I suppose so.

Its not the easiest thing in the world. As in, I actually care about this person. I know that this will hurt this person. I know that I would not want the same for my daughter from her husband... But at the end of the day, I still want what I want.

its actually about picking the type of partner, and the vast majority of such girls are not available to us foreigners, with very few exceptions. The kind of parents who bring up the kind of girls who would accept these kind of things are not the kind of parents who would normally allow, encourage or accept their daughter to date a foreigner.

can you be more specific?

i thought this type of "accepting" is fairly common throughout the various social classes here.

I do agree though that it seems farang often end up with more 'Western' minded girls, or at least, the parameters of the relationship tend to get established with a weak male pimp hand.

My take is that Thai guys just automatically lie without thinking about it. They say exactly what the girl wants to hear and they are both happy.

Seems not likely. First off, its very easy to check to see if someone is lying. There has to be a desire from the Thai lady to not care. Or to pretend not to care.

In most cases it also should be no problem where you are going, so why would it not be possible to tell your girlfriend? If you really have to be unfaithful or do stuff where you know it would matter to her or hurt her, then you should be either clever enough to never get caught or not be in that relationship in the first place. The latter would be the moral correct and better choice.

Yes. Obviously I am talking about those places. And yes, I don't want to have lie about it or sneak around or feel paranoid. Honestly, I would much prefer permission.

teach me, please somebody.

here is how it works with my lady.

Oh, hey, is it 9:30 already? I just remembered Dan wanted to get a drink.

Where?

The Peninsula Hotel.

Is his wife coming?

No, he just wanted it to be us.

Why?

I don't know.

Are you going to cheat on me?

Ah, No.

Why didn't you just meet Dan when you went out earlier today?

The bar does not open until night time.

Do you love me?

Yes.

I forgot what the bar looks like. Can you take a photo of it for me? And please get a cocktail napkin with the Hotel's name.

Why don't you trust me?

Should I trust you?

Yes.

...

My take is that Thai guys just automatically lie without thinking about it. They say exactly what the girl wants to hear and they are both happy.

Seems not likely. First off, its very easy to check to see if someone is lying. There has to be a desire from the Thai lady to not care. Or to pretend not to care.

Since I was 12 years old every girl I have been involved with would check up on me, have her friends pretend to be interested in me, spy on me, call me endlessly, etc. Come on dude, you can't really be saying that they are just getting tricked.

Can you be more specific? It seems to go against human nature for a woman to love a male so much that she naturally just stops asking him where he is going without her at night. Is this a natural progression in a Thai relationship? Is there some sort of breaking point where he just announces how its going be from now on? Thanks.

If I go out at night, my Thai significant other will ask where I am going. Do Thai males gf's and wife's do the same? Do they not answer? Do they lie about where they are going? Everyone always talks about how Thai males have multiple women and how Thai women accept this as a part of being in a relationship with a Thai male, but I have never gotten even the faintest hint from my lady that its ok or acceptable. I don't want to have to lie about where I am going or be paranoid of being caught. I really just want to know how Thai males handle it. I am not comfortable enough with any Thai males in real life to ask them directly. I really want to start taking advantage of this aspect of Thai culture but as farang I suppose I am lost at how it works. Do wife's and gf's really not ask where you are going at 9:30 pm or why your phone magically turns off for an hour and a half during this time?

And in regards to second wives and giks, that would take even more time away from your partner. How do you get away with it so to speak?

Thanks.

There are a lot of professional wrestling fans in this thread, I imagine.

And some of you are really living in another Thailand than I am. Go to Emporium or a higher class shopping mall and see much "touching of children" is going on --> None.

Pretty much brings one of my previous posts to the point: move around in Thailand in an urban environment and pretty nothing of original Thai culture and thought might be left and the place starts to resemble more and more any other boring city the world over.

This is not in every instance a bad thing, but the Thais with their endless try to 'save face' would have a natural inclination towards the manic political correctness prevalent in the west. It seems they have been successfully infected by now.

Its could be PC thing. It could also be an awareness of bacteria or a general heightened sense of manners. "Marketplace behavior", and thats copyrighted by the way all you blogers/Jonathon Head, is more likely to contain a more freewheeling life outlook in regards to social interaction. Is the "real Thailand" purchasing meat that sits out in the sun covered in flies? Surely, we must find a middle ground.

And some of you are really living in another Thailand than I am. Go to Emporium or a higher class shopping mall and see much "touching of children" is going on --> None.

I don't want to open this can of worms, but its pretty clear to me that young girls, and I am talking 7 year olds, are more sexualized in Asia than they are in the West. Most Westerners are turned off by children wearing makeup and playing adult and child beauty pageants. its been lambasted in several mainstream movies. In Thailand, its clearly more accepted. I dont know how many 10 year old Thai girls I have seen on those music shows in a mini skirt, cut off tank top and fake eye lashes.

Now, I have no idea if Thai men are a much of pedophiles, and I am not saying that, its just an observation.

But also like most parents you get a second sense when something's wrong - I knew without asking something was wrong by the look of the face of one of the shop assistants - I ran around the counter to find a Thai woman with a pair of scissors cutting a chunk out of our daughter's hair - I went F@cking berserk - took the scissors off her and cut a chunk of hair off her head that left her half bald.

Wow. Every post I read from yours, I can't imagine this happening. I can't imagine any person doing this in Thailand. And I am not saying you were wrong, although you probably were, but, wow, I have never seen anything like this before anywhere and especially not in Thailand. My mouth is on the floor.

Theres a difference in touching prepuberty girls and those that are post puberty! Its thai culture they are touchy people. Every time i go to a certain bar the wait staff touches me hoping to get a tip, little do they know i dont like them touching me and will avoid them if at all possible.

Isn't this an excerpt from "A Portrait of a Sex Tourist"?

I would never touch a child I was not already acquainted with, without first asking permission from the parent. And any unattractive female or male who i am not acquainted should do likewise.

What was her previous job, OP?

this guy should get a Special People's Pulitzer for internet posting.

You kids are so blind it makes me laugh.

They already let him skip bail once.

Now they are "trying" to bring him back.

Its all BS.

Here is where the current situation is totally different. Yes, I agree, they let him go before. But that was with the assumption he would behave like a "normal" exposed corrupt Thai ex-pol. Instead he morphs into the leader of a violent revolution. He didn't play the game the polite Thai way, so now the rules have changed. He is indeed an ENEMY OF THE STATE.

His party was still in power at that time, and up until last week his entire family was sipping chaa-dam at the Peninsula Hotel. I am sure it will be weeks before they'll be back. Interesting, how his wife and children get to stay in the country and why their assets have not been contested.

Oh, hey, UAE says it will deport Thaskin, but he left three hours ago! Ah, shucks! It'll only be so long before he realizes there is nowhere else for him to run (only 675 countries remaining).

There certainly ARE laws of nature that cannot be broken.

Human sense of justice is relative. Relatively strong states have relatively strong justice.

I don't see a reason to celebrate general lawlessness, the country can't function if people don't trust eachother because there's no sense of justice.

everything seems to be functioning to me.

You kids are so blind it makes me laugh.

They already let him skip bail once.

Now they are "trying" to bring him back.

Its all BS.

Can anyone explain the culture in Thailand of how children from first marriages seem to be not recognised or are not 'part of the family' of a new marriage?

I have a brother (American) who has children from his first marriage to a Thai woman. He has divorced and remarried another Thai woman. She and her family do not want him to have much, if anything to do with his first children. He hardly ever sees them even though they all live in Bangkok.

His second wife is now pregnant and he says that they do not intend for his first children and the baby to have contact. He says it is Thai culture and a 'sensitive' issue. He respects his wifes wishes and that of her family and so does not see his first children (although he supports them financially).

This is very difficult for us (his Western family) to accept and there have been big family arguments / discussions about this - his first children are already a part of our lives and have cousins who they see once a year. It means that we can never have a family gathering and invite ALL the family - we can never mention all the cousins / nieces /nephews / grandchildren in bonded terms....

Can anyone with knowledge of Asian culture explain if this is normal and indeed a 'sensitive' situation in Thailand? Are there any situations there of famous Thai couples who have children from previous marriages who are included in the second marriage? If so we can use this as an argument!

Thanks

Your brother is not wearing the pants in the second relationship, and I know that sounds corny. A better way to put it, is that his 2nd wife is a complete liar and is dictating the terms of the relationship and he is too big of a coward to stand up to her for it. Or perhaps he is just a jerk and is using this as an excuse to avoid seeing his first children because he does not want to. Atleast, he is taking care of them financially.

In no way is a cultural issue.

GL