IanForbes

Probably a bit late, butI'd say go because of the rain & the air's clearing, if not cleared.

It rained in MHS Wed night & on Friday heavily in Mae Chaem.

I came back from MHS on Thursday

Thanks for your imput, David. Too many people just don't get off the well known routes. There is lots to explore even on a rental scooter. Just take your time and leave the speed demons to their own reckless pace.

Just cuz Im Canadiun don meen I aint bin round des establishments..

The only place they wouldn't let me in was the second floor of the Grosvenor pub in Stockbridge and that was reserved for members of the Houghtan Club

My beautiful young wife contributes the same annual amount to the household as I do..........

Most of the money is spent, with pleasure, bringing up our two wonderful children

Don't worry there is nothing wrong in paying for sex......at the moment I don't have the inclination that's all, then as I say never enjoyed sex with plastic coating....I enjoy loving and being loved, and I am very very proud of my beautiful hard working young wife.....

And that is exactly what most of us who were previously married, wanted. I have no regrets with either of my two marriages and wouldn't trade those experiences for anything. I would call both of the marriages a success. However, sometime things change despite your best efforts. Anyone in a marriage like 473Geo's should be thankful and happy. Unfortunately, nothing is certain in life and you have to make the best of it when things not go as planned. I was going to say "wrong" but that is not always the case. Sometimes what first appears as a disaster can turn out to be a blessing in disguise.

I can say with some degree of pride that in all my previous relationships none ended in nastiness. I am still on good terms with all the women I've known who are still around. Some are married or in relationships with friends of mine and we all get along. I hold no animosity with anyone who hasn't intentionally done me harm.

Moral of the story, racists are all over the place, some people are just downright stupid. Keyword is "some". So it's not as bad as it seems, you can choose your friends and dismiss your enemies. You don't need to be friends with everybody, as well as not everybody has to friends with you. So get over it and move on, but make sure you still treat people the same way you want them to treat you.

Oh so true. Why care what others think? They might be idiots. Just make sure your OWN slate is clean in how you treat others.

There's been an interesting array of replies to the OP's topic. And, with a few exceptions, there is a degree of truth to all the replies depending on the situation. There are no hard and fast rules when it comes to relationships. There is every conceivable situation possible. The only people who are flat out wrong are the ones who say that there is ONLY one way.

Thailand is a great place to meet women, and the chances go upwards increasingly when you learn the language. But, learning Thai when your native language is English, is a slow, difficult process. That wouldn't fit into the OP's holiday plans. Thai women are no different than women everywhere... they would prefer an attractive man similar to their own age, and one who has a bit of money to spend on them. However, the smart Thai women have learned that young attractive foreigners do not stay around long enough to be a potential long term partner... so the women often go for second best.. some older guy who has a little jingle and wants to settle down.

You are flat out wrong. Thai females who actively looking to approach foreigners, do it with one intention in mind, get connected with a man who has money.

Some of them do it more explicitly, the ones you call prostitutes, others do it less explicitly, but still, for the same reason.

And of course there are shades of gray in between, but love and money is a VERY strong reason for the thai female to look for a foreign male.

Everyone who believes otherwise, are disillusioned.

You are replying to the WRONG quote. I was referring to the comment that all women working in bars are prostitutes. That is flat out wrong... they aren't. Depending on the bar, a good portion of the women are working the "trade"... BUT NOT ALL OF THEM!

Yes, the actual working girls are there for the money. And, in countries where the majority of women are poor, the clever women have learned not to offer their services for free to randy, irresponsible Thai boys who offer nothing for the future, and prefer to pick and choose between a wide array of foreign men.

As predicted by many, they have split up and she of course got to keep the house. He's got a new thai 'girlfriend' more his age and is happier with this, Mee is living with a 'boyfriend' more her age.

Nothing is ever certain in life and if you get a few good years then maybe it was worth it. I've certainly seen far worse scenarios amongst friends in Canada.

@Sam - it can be arranged

@Smokie - be careful what you wish for, some members are very good at hate mail

That has happened so many times to me that sort of expect it and seldom know the cause.

Wherever you go, there you are. So, those miserable gits with nothing to do but complain would be doing precisely the same thing back home.

That's pretty much it in a nutshell

As for myselt, I can always make a silk purse out of a sow's ear. Life is just too good to me... even with all the bumps along the way. It's like I can over dose on anything I want or choose to make happen. That ain't half bad for a guy who is in his 73rd year.

I always say you have two choices in life. You can CHOOSE to be happy or You can CHOOSE to be sad. It's up to you.

I spent some time in the Philippines about 12 years ago. The gals were accommodating and everyone spoke good English. The beaches were lovely, the hotel rooms, were inexpensive, the booze was very cheap, and cigarettes were almost given away. But, I neither smoke or drink very much. I had more bizarre experiences with women than I can even remember, and very little of it was instigated by myself. However, there were more scams and corruption than you could believe. Four aquaintances of mine were murdered in the two months I was there. And, I had to threaten to kill a few filipinos just to get myself out of a touchy situation... and I fully intended to carry out the threat. After that I decided that the Philppines were no longer for me... despite the excitment. I'd rather have Thailand any day.

I was/am a complainer, too, on occasion, but I have recently realized something that I need to say to be fair. One thing I really must admit I like about the Thais (as far as I have understood thus far) is that as long as I try to fit in and respect (and maybe even show interest) in Thai custom (all manner), they generally seem to be fairly accepting.

Just a quick example. I am fast. Very fast. Worked on Wall Street and lived in NYC. Move with purpose. I don't dawdle. Super independent. I'm also often serious and probably appear that way to most Thais. You get the picture. When I have taken this type of trait with me to various venues in Thailand, it simply doesn't work. Thais seem very much put off by it, and I often feel as though there is a collective effort by everyone around me to let it be known that it's not ideal. At first, I fought it. I thought my way was better (still think that most of the time). But, my wife has been coaching me. She told me to slow down, smile more; when people stare at me like they are watching an animal in the zoo, just smile gently at them; try to speak as much Thai as I can which isn't much; make a point to interact with people I see frequently (like street vendors), etc.

Under normal circumstances, I would not be interested in doing any of these things, but when I do them, my experience changes completely for the better. Thais seem to be rather simple in this regard. Just show interests and don't 'go against the grain', and they are cool (for the most part). I do not want to make this negative, but the other side is my experience in several places in the US where if you are different enough, you will NEVER be accepted even as a guest. As much as I love my country, I have to keep it real in this aspect.

So, all things considered, with respect to acceptance -- I'm not talking about being treated as a Thai, but rather I'm talking about being treated kindly and with respect (but certainly as a guest, in my case) -- the Thais do seem rather easy going.

Good post. I'm glad that you have learned the Thai way and see how it has benefited you in Thailand. It doesn't make sense to try pushing water uphill with a broom.

And, ExpatOilWorker made a good observation...

What I love the most about Thailand is freedom. The old saying about Your freedom ends where somebody's else's right begins is very flexible in Thailand.

Funny enough, Thailand has rules and laws for most things, but it is very loosely enforced. Just look how building codes, speed limits, entertainment laws are bend to make the most enjoyable for the majority.

I also enjoy the freedom i find in Thailand, providing I stay somewhat within the rules of the country.

I started a picture thread on that very topic about a year ago. Unfortunately, it was shut down. There is lots to love about Thailand if you have a little jingle in your pockets. However, if you are living on the bare minimum like most Thais that are trying to exist, then it ain't much fun. The reliable warm weather is one great feature when you compare it to North America or norhern Europe. There are hundreds of beaches that are second to none, and all it takes is to travel off the beaten path a short distance.

I like that I can walk into any bar or cafe and talk to strangers like I've known them for years. It's not hard to have a short term girl friend, or one that will stay with you for months. All it takes is a little bit of money and a pleasant personality. Confidence and a little humour goes a long way. The only problem is trying hard not to fall in love.

Certainly there are risks in Thailand, and more so if you decide to ride a motorbike on the poorly maintained roads and in the bizarre traffic, but a bit of danger is part of the excitement.

Do online dating - in bars and discos 90% will be working girls or gold diggers - respectable Thai girls either don't go to such places or only in groups and are not easily approachable.

On some occasions, girls are out to "get a falang", just to try. Can be the case in Bangkok with university girls going in herds to discos. Happened to me one time, memorable night. Just after the highest moment of the night, the girl laughed loud and exclaimed "Po farang!!!"

LOL.

That being said, p4p in Thailand is not the same as back home. Some of the working girls make very sweet and good companions, Just remember to keep your wits.

Or forget any advice and just use every occasion to go out, and you shall find what you seek.

<flame removed> 100% of the girls in bars are working girls thats where they work for christ sake

where do you get the 90% from are the other 10% there to study religion

You are flat out wrong. It shows how little you know about Thailand. I know at least 15 women who work in bars in the supposed raunchy part of Chiang Mai that DO NOT go with customers. And, it is men like you that give Thailand a bad name for treating all women like hookers.

Lets move this on over to the Pub.

Ah, It was getting more replies and more funny ones in the motoring section.

As I've never used a dating site anywhere I can't answer your question with any degree of of reliability. However, I have a number of friends who use dating sites on a regular basis. Their experiences have been mixed. I've always just let life happen and always seem to wind up a winner. But then, I am fairly open and talk with anyone and everyone. I can quickly pick up on who is interested and who isn't. I show some friendly interest and leave it up to the woman after that. A smile, a joke and having confidence has always seemed to work for me.

xthAi76s brings some valid points to the discussion, but I sure would hate to try and pronounce his/her name.

Thais are taught as children that anything an adult says is the gospel truth. That continues right through school. With that type of education it curbs creative thinking, but it makes for a happy family unit. They can be conned and manipulated by their elders and leaders in society. They become pawns in a game of feudalism. Feudalism has been going on for centuries. That is how the ancient kings kept their peasants under control, and religious orders such as the Vatican kept the public in the dark of what was really going on. The ancient Stonehenge was just a big clock and it's actual use was kept hidden by those that wanted to keep the knowledge for themselves. Those with more knowledge than others have always been held in higher esteem and given added benefits. It is always been a game of power and who holds the most of it. Leaders in EVERY country want to keep their population stupid so they are easily manipulated. The internet has been the bane of the modern leaders in every country. That is why North Korea basically banned it. They don't WANT to let their populace know what is happening in the rest of the world. There are some similarities in Thailand that we are not allowed to talk about.

Why settle for one when you can have several? Of course, if you are desperate for a family and an end to single life freedom then go for it. Who cares what it costs. Once you are married then the great sex you're presently having is pretty much over anyway.

Good point and it could be purchased at a fraction of the costs at almost any corner.

yep great passion with your tool encased in plastic.....wow.....gotta say I really do prefer sex without the sensation numbing protection, but if you are looking for cheaper, and fully wrapped up protected sex every time.......yep go for short time...I guess over the years you can get used to it

It's all in somewhat of a balance. In my case I only use "protection" with one of my three ladies. The others are taking the pill and I'm their only lover. But, I was just pointing out that a man's ardour wains after several years with the same partner. And, if your partner is not interested in sex then it's hard to maintain any interest yourself. I'm speaking from personal experiences as well as heart to heart talks with male friends. I know at least a dozen men married for over 10 years that have sex only about once a month or less. When your wife has put on 30 or 40 pounds and is no longer the beauty you once knew it's hard to get too interested when she peels off her clothing and puts on a flanel gown before getting into bed. I look around at my friends wives, and not one appeals to me. And, even the women of any age that I see wandering through the super market, I can't say I would take one in 50 to bed with me... even if they were interested... which they aren't.

Like I've said several times, marriage is mostly for people who want to raise a family together. I've done that and now would prefer to be single. Life is what you make of it, but you have to understand that things DO change over time. What you knew for certain in your 30s is seldom what you believe in your 60s.

Glad the mods have allowed us to have a little fun here as well as the more serious answers. Some people don't have the ability to tell which is which.

There is one thing that happens when you stay a member here for a while. Eventually, you get to see the REAL person under the mask. And, one's perception of Thailand changes after a while. However, it's still a persons personal attitude towards life that usually shows in their replies to various topics. There's almost always two valid points of view to every topic.

What happens in Pattaya (plus 3 more tourist places) does not reflect on foreigner behaviour in the majority of Thailand.

I doubt if there are even a dozen foreigners living in my province (Nan), let alone louts treating Thai women badly.

If you choose to live in a sewer, then you can expect to encounter rats.

I agree with you, but Pattaya and places like it are all many foreigners see in Thailand. Yes, I have spent some time in Nan and I can't recall seeing another farang during the time I was there. Of course, I spent most of my time riding my bike in the lovely hills to the north east. I've never seen so much construction in what seemed to be a deserted city. More than a few of us commented on it. I'm always treated with respect in the small villages and cities away from tourist centers.

Why settle for one when you can have several? Of course, if you are desperate for a family and an end to single life freedom then go for it. Who cares what it costs. Once you are married then the great sex you're presently having is pretty much over anyway.

I don't know how wise it is to tell me story, but here we go ..........

Was a farmer in Oxfordshire, working the family farm all my life, hard work and not much reward. Wife decided the life was too hard, so she divorced me, was awarded the family farm by the divorce judge (300 years down the drain), then promptly sold it. I was left living in a farm workers caravan on a pals farm aged 50+, no future for me. Depression set in and my pal decided to lift my spirits with a holiday in Pattaya.

Off we went, he was out doing the Pattaya thing every night, I sat in a bar and just chatted to the girls (some of them spoke really good English). Anyway, after a while I was getting quite friendly with a girl (not as a customer, too traumatized by the divorce and loss of my farm for sex with anyone). This girl finds out I was a farmer in the UK (arable mostly corn and wheat) and says her older sister has a farm up north and was recently widowed. Farm going to rack and ruin, other guys in the village asking for 'favours' in return for helping her on the farm, etc.

So entirely on impulse, we both get on a coach to visit the sister, 25 rai farm the previously husband grew corn, husband (previous farm owner) was earning extra cash building a bridge, fell off the scaffolding and died. The older sister (late 20s) needed a new husband to run the farm, a bit of cash to repay a debt on the farm and someone for company. She spoke no English, I spoke no Thai, everything arranged/interpreted by the bar girl sister. A week later we were sharing a bed, a few weeks later we were married, now we share a life and family.

I now have new children, a new wife (half the age and one third the weight of my former UK wife), and a new family farm (well it can never be my farm, but it can be my childrens family farm)

Working a farm in Thailand is so much less hard work than working a farm in the UK, no regulations or forms to fill out, the weather is so much nicer, and the workload is so much less. Of course almost all the work is done by hand, but I sort of like that.

Four years on

I speak bad Thai, she speaks good English.

Farm is producing great corn again (harvest in the next 2-3 weeks)

Last year the headman assigned us 50 rai of forest to develop, after the monsoon I will have to make a start

Thailand is a great country, with great opportunities for an aging western man.

Touching story, Tommo. Thank you for that.

It was a fishing buddy who talked me into coming to Thailand 15 years ago. I thank him for that every single day. My two exwives did me a favour by leaving. I've never been happier, but I haven't cut ties to Canada, and I can go back and forth as I choose.

This was before 59 squadron flattened it and put in an airfield

No they didn't. Those truly are the hills above the Little Bighorn River behind me.

Here are more modern photos...

I was down fishing the trout stream while George was above fighting the indians.

What our kerryk says is true to a point, but it still depends.

All is fine providing these farangs that suddenly decide to park themselves in Thailand can adapt to Thai culture and ways of the people, keep within the laws and do not expect a yes massah approach from the Thais.

Unfortunately from my experience and what I have witnessed over the years many seem unable to follow these golden rules and often end up in conflicts with they’re Thai neighbors or having to frequently peer over their shoulders because they are contravening one law or another.

Not a big problem in moderation but as more and more of the West’s less wealthier citizens begin pouring into the country, believing that they are onto a good thing because their mates have told them it is cheap, more relaxed and more able to keep a low profile here, then their activities begin to attract the attentions of the Thai authorities and can bring in tighter Immigration restrictions onto all of us.

I have no problems with those who abide by the laws, rules and regulations but unfortunately many here I consider as suspect and shady, so these sudden influxes of farangs into the provinces is not a good thing in my opinion and certainly not beneficial for the ex-pats that are already here.

A very nice post from the OP.

What does Beetlejuice's reply have to do with the topic? - nothing

Why do some posters have to keep introducing meaningless diatribe aimed at nobody in particular.

I disagree. Beetlejuice's reply was well thought out and true. Many western louts come to Thailand and give other tourists a bad name. They treat the women working in bars and cafes like pieces of meat, and the backlash is the women treat the sexpats like a sucker that should be fleeced. It's a two way street.