fatter than harry

Funniest joke in weeks!

Good work!

Hes just been LC'd

Thats enough to bring any man to his knees, weeping like a broken child, raising his hands to the air and crying "WHY ME???"

He will be fine, eventually.

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ThaiVisa Quote of the day!

Thai AirAsia launches Phuket-Singapore service

PHUKET: Low-cost carrier Thai AirAsia, an associate carrier of Malaysian low-fare airline AirAsia, yesterday launched a daily, direct flight service between Phuket and Singapore, offering promotional fares as low as 1,200 baht for advanced ticket purchases made over the Internet.

Flight FD 3028 departs Phuket at 9:30 am and arrives in Singapore at 12:10 pm local time. The return leg, Flight FD 3029, departs Singapore at 12:45 pm and reaches Phuket at 1:20 pm.

Thai AirAsia CEO Tossapon Bijleveld announced the new service at a press conference at the Novotel Coralia Phuket.

He said the daily service was launched in response to increased customer demand, as the former twice-weekly flights were booked to almost 80% capacity.

K. Tossapon said the airline has also added an extra flight from Bangkok to Singapore, bringing the number of direct daily flights between the two capitals to three.

Curr ently, the Bangkok-Singapore route is operating at 40%-50% capacity, but K. Tossapon expects the new service and related promotions to increase the figure to 70%-80% within three weeks.

About 110,000 Singaporeans flew on AirAsia flights from February 16 to November 3, he said, adding that he expects bookings to increase by as much as 30% as a result of the expanded Phuket-Singapore service, which will increase AirAsia’s daily capacity between Thailand and Singapore to 4,144 seats.

Tickets for the flights range in cost from 1,200 to 3,500 baht, depending on the how far in advance tickets are bought.

Tourism Authority of Thailand Region 4 Director Suwalai Pinpradab said that with the new service, the total number of incoming flights to Phuket between November and March will increase 26% compared with the same period last high season.

“Last year only 40,000 Singaporeans came to Phuket. However, the availability of low-cost flights, coupled with TAT promotions, could turn Phuket into a popular weekend shopping destination for Singaporeans and Malaysians,” she said.

TAT will continue to market Phuket as a shopping, food, spa and health tourism destination, she said, adding that the agency plans to attract more women and well-heeled visitors from Indonesia.

K. Suwalai said that the overall number of tourists visiting Phuket, both foreign and domestic, was about 2 million people during the first half of 2004 – an increase of about 15% compared with the same period last year. She expects about 500,000 more arrivals by year end, with Germany, Taiwan and the UK expected to be the three top sources of foreign tourists, respectively.

Brought to you by:

The Phuket Gazette

14:17 local time (GMT +7)

You receive a letter from the whistle baron saying 'Dear khun farang, thank you for the inspiration behind my car park attendant whistle empire, attached is a cheque for 40 Million Thai Baht'

You cash the cheque and have a million bucks in your pocket, how would you spend it?

Hi Mate,

Normally you'd use the same company that registered your company, it's all part of the same process so they should offer the service. For the entire work permit process you should expect to pay around 20,000 baht, not including leaving the country expenses and other related costs.

I'm not expert so this is just rule of thumb!

Couple die in bike smash

CHALONG: An American visitor from Bangkok and her partner have died in a motorbike accident at Chalong.

Mary Susan Crosland, 52, and Cha Paen Anukul, also 52, were killed around 10 am on Tuesday, when the motorbike K. Cha was driving, with Ms Crosland riding behind, failed to take a curve near Chao Fa Thani village.

The couple lived in Bangkok and were visiting Phuket on holiday.

Pol Capt Wichan Suwannasit of Chalong Police Station told the Gazette both had died at the scene from broken necks.

Both bodies are at Wachira Phuket Hospital. Ms Crosland’s relatives are due in Phuket shortly to collect her body. Police are still trying to contact K. Cha’s family.

Brought to you by:

The Phuket Gazette

11:50 local time (GMT +7)

Meadish, you are a man of exqusite tastes.

Disarm - The Smashing Pumpkins

Disarm you with a smile

And cut you like you want me to

Cut that little child

Inside of me and such a part of you

Ooh, the years burn

I used to be a little boy

So old in my shoes

And what i choose is my choice

What's a boy supposed to do?

The killer in me is the killer in you

My love

I send this smile over to you

Disarm you with a smile

And leave you like they left me here

To wither in denial

The bitterness of one who's left alone

Ooh, the years burn

Ooh, the years burn, burn, burn

I used to be a little boy

So old in my shoes

And what I choose is my voice

What's a boy supposed to do?

The killer in me is the killer in you

My love

I send this smile over to you

The killer in me is the killer in you

Send this smile over to you

The killer in me is the killer in you

Send this smile over to you

The killer in me is the killer in you

Send this smile over to you

The IamMaiC Show

It's time to play the music

It's time to light the lights

t's time to meet IamMaiC on the IamMaiC Show tonight.

It's time to put on makeup

It's time to dress up right

It's time to raise the curtain on the IamMaiC Show tonight.

Why do we always come here

I guess we'll never know

It's like a kind of torture

To have to watch the show

And now let's get things started

Why don't you get things started

It's time to get things started

On the most sensational inspirational celebrational IamMaiCtational

This is what we call the IamMaiC Show!

(Gonzo blows his trumpet)

Breathe between posting fellows. Breathe!

Where is that 'ignore member' control panel?

I inherited an ambulance from my dad, he'd converted it into a camper van with shower, double bed, toilet, cooker....very cosy. I took it along with a world of mind alterants on a one man surfing trip around Cornwall - best thing was driving in the cab with the door slid open (on runners, see?) I'm easily pleased. Was my best holiday ever.

Best place I've been? A toss up between Tijuana in Mexico or Angeles City in the Phillipines.

I was having lunch yesterday with a friend, we were in a restaurant and the election was on the tv, there were the usual spattering of nationalities around the room all watching for the fabled Ohio result to come in, one of the American guys watching, who'd been laughing and joking with all of us for the duration of my luncheon suddenly shouted out "That'll teach you F####g Europeans! F##k you all you buncha f##king whinney pansies, we saved your f###ing asssses in WWII.... he went on and on in quite a jaw dropping display.

One English guy got up and left calling him a 'tubby wan#er' whilst I was trying not to choke on my lettuce Anyway, not sure what this means but it was a disturbing and unprovoked scene that just highlighted the fact that people are strange and politics should be best kept to oneself.

Also read this: http://www.dld.go.th/inform/imexen.html

For details on IMPORT , EXPORT AND TRANSIT Of Animals and their products into the kingdom Of Thailand

I've always drank my urine, never knew one was supposed to rub it on, will try rubbing next time.

I've asked my friend to PM you with details.

I know what you mean, it happens on most beaches along the west coast, my guess is it's tiny pieces of jellyfish that have got broken up in the coral and surf, it's mildly uncomfortable, urine is the best thing for it.

"Why oh why do people take this crap"

Andaman Beach Suites is ok, hotel is a bit old but good enough location for the beach, make sure you're getting a good rate and I doubt you'll be dissapointed.

That's three sentences.

I don't like becoming a little more hard hearted day by day.

I saw a dog get run over when I first arrived here and it affected me for weeks, I saw a dog get run over last week and I was like "Whoah, don't get blood on the car!"

Sad.

Hey RC! Is your cow kissing me?.....I quite like it.

You sure it wasn't 'a dessert', a blamanche incident could explain the drowned donkey.

I've sampled the Marching powder ,too much in fact,  ruinous stuff , but at the time you believe that you're the king of the free world. I think I'm one of those people who have to try things to understand them , I wish I wasn't , but  that's life.

3 things I never wish to understand/try  would be

1.Heroine

2.Gay sex

3.A Year in Belgium.

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Classic! If I could add;

4. A Michael Bolton concert

I need some advice on what could be a life changing decision.

I've suspected for some time now that my wife has been having an affair. The usual signs. Phone rings, I answer, someone hangs up.

She started going out 'with the girls' a lot recently although when I ask which girls it is always "Just some friends from work, you don't know them". I always look out for her taxi coming home but she always walks down the drive although I can hear a car setting off. As if she has got out of the car round the corner. Why? Is it not a taxi?

I once picked her mobile up just to see what time it was and she went beserk and screamed that I should never touch her phone again and why was I checking up on her.

Anyway, I have never approached the subject with my wife. I think deep down I just didn't want to know the truth but last night she went out again and I decided to check on her.

I decided I was going to hide behind my car which would give me a view of the whole street so I could see which car she gets out of. It was whilst crouched behind my car that I noticed rust around my rear wheel arch.

Should I take it into a body repair shop or should I buy some stuff from Halfords and try to repair it myself?

The road is called 'Hasip' I think, the hilltop hotel is up there - great views of Patong. The Kata/Karon end is the part that will link up with the eventual road to Chalong I reckon, but don't quote me on that.

I went to the outback last night and the service was terrible, the head waiter was quite frankly the rudest man I've ever met, when we arrived he was licking his fingers and smoothing down his eyebrows in the foyer mirror, he kept saying "You're a tiger, you're a tiger, grrrrrrrrrrrrr, who loves ya baby" once he'd realised we'd caught him he busied himself by pretending to straighten up the magazines and ignoring our requests to be seated.

On a brighter note, the chicken wings were awesome.