fatter than harry

I guess it was in the wrong place at the wrong time, the OP did sound like a bit of a freak, at least it was an exciting afternoon - worth the entrance money.

Very well put tutsi, about time too.

If you think you've spotted him, please post a photo in here.

Palmer:

Most of TV is turning a bit crappy, a dammn shame but understandable. I suppose as the site gets more popular the natural progression would be crap posts from idiots. I've lost count of the trolls and the trolls of trolls and the trolls of trolls of trolls.

Harry Palmer's incessant bar girl onslaught is as amusing as a punch in the face on a cold day, I liken him to the teletubbies on the BBC, dumming down the place, wait, maybe he's more like Noel Edmonds house party, whatever, no one seems to mind too much bar me and a few others - <deleted> it.

I've never heard anyone complain that Stephen Hawking is no good at football!

Hot off the press!!

New Leeds Signings

Last week Leeds United unveiled a raft of new players to bolster a team weakened by the departure of the entire first team.......

Stephen Hawking - midfield, "The thinking footballer" was named club captain.

Billy Bremner - LUFC director said "In this age of political correctness and multi-culturalism, being dead should not be allowed to stand in the way of a long and fruitful career."

Giant Haystacks - Goalie, "We were looking for an imposing prescence in the nets, someone to really fill the space between the posts."

Arthur Scargill - Centre Forward, "We are informed that Arthur is the best striker in the business."

Buttershaw u-12's (girls) - Defence, "Well they can't let in more goals than last years shower did."

Sadly the new Leeds squad were soundly beaten in a friendly match vs. a Seacroft Veterans 11 yesterday. The team seem to be struggling to ge to grips with Captain Hawkings new 4 - 4 - quark - quantum underspace - 1 formation, especially Brian Deane who accidently arrived at Dunfermline, dressed as a donkey.

You're a fraud Palmer, five gives you ten that you're an epically fat loner, sitting in a flat in Halifax sucking at Englands dole teat. The closest you've ever been to Thailand is through hot Asian teenz, that would be where the resentment emanates maybe?

I'll ask you again shitlips, what's the weather like in the UK?

My first secretary was called Muay - I kept calling her Moi, which is Thai for pubes, she used to hammer me for it and by the time I'd mastered the pronounciation she was leaving to start uni.

Her replacement was called Tawat.

Frying pan / fire.

And of course it could just be that the airport guy couldn't read very well - 'departed' and 'deported' - there's only a very small difference - one small 'a' for man, but a bloody great 'O' for farang-kind

Quote of the day! - In my book.

This is one of those low grade threads Bronco was on about, right?

Palmer - write about something else or get off the Thailand forum you England based, bar girl fixated spammer.

I'm not obsessive compulsive but I'd say Jack Nicholson in 'As good as it gets'

[squares keyboard to be symetrical with desk, touches each ear thrice, flicks nose, stands up, sits down, stands up, turns lightswitch on and off three times]

[presses 'enter']

Interesting that this article appeared the day after the 1am article....

Huge jump in tourist arrivals

PHUKET: The number of visitors arriving at Phuket International Airport in the year to date is up by 27% on the figure for the same period last year, astonishing and delighting tourism bosses.

The Tourism Authority of Thailand (TAT) Phuket office had predicted that the number of passengers – foreign and Thai – arriving in Phuket would increase by 10% this year compared with 2003. But instead, arrivals have risen by 27%.

Napasorn Kakai, the Deputy Director of Phuket TAT office, told the Gazette, “For the green [low] season, we successfully focused on tourists from Asia and the Middle East. We arranged roadshows and invited them to travel to Phuket.

“We have many charter flights that come to Phuket from the Middle East because people there want to experience the rain.”

K. Napasorn added that Phuket had become more popular as a “short haul” destination for people in Asia, partly b ecause of terrorist attacks elsewhere in the world.

Visitor numbers could be boosted still further if an Australian Airlines Boeing 767 charter flight between Sydney and Phuket, which is being tested this month, becomes a regular feature of the green season.

However, said K. Napasorn, not all the passengers who arrived at Phuket airport actually spent their vacations on the island – some went direct to other destinations such as Khao Lak or Krabi.

Government figures (which are counted by budget year – October 1 to September 30, rather than TAT figures which are counted by calendar year) show that between October 1 last year and August 31 this year, 4.17 million passengers passed through Phuket International Airport, a rise of 30.41% compared with the same period in the previous 12 months.

The number of flights to and from Phuket during the same period also increased, by 21.89%, to 27,392.

No comparative fi gures were given on the average tourist’s length of stay and spending habits in Phuket nor, indeed, on how many “quality visitors” were among the arrivals.

Brought to you by:

The Phuket Gazette

19:38 local time (GMT +7)

No mention of SARS last year, nothing to do with the hotels in Phuket being on the ball for this year's low, ahem, green season, after learning to give their rooms away during SARS to create cashflow....

Strange that.

Zulu

QUOTE (The Gentleman Scamp @ Thu 2004-09-23, 15:44:46)

They go to live in Dublin with their step family.  

But like me Murphy's, aam not bitter....

Quality, medicinebox, sheer quality.

Ok, how do I get a quote in a quote box?

Go to that person's post and click on the quote box in the top right (next to report)

You can take the shit out of the hole, but you can't take the hole out of the shit.....or something like that, I've always thought the colourful night time in Patong just about balances out the lack of paving stones / sewage disposal / tailors.

The Sussex Police's security plan for the Labour party

conference next week is codenamed Operation Otter.

You can't go wrong with Jiva.

BTW, you can pornalize any website, works really well on CNN

http://www.pornolize.com/

Is Thai Visa fighting against the new social order crackdown?

See for yourselves:

http://www.pornolize.com/pornolize4?lang=e...036%26act%3Didx

Whatever happened to Jeepz? He was always a good read.

Jiva - Excellent, everything a family hotel should be, brand new, great staff, clean, funky rooms, loads of pools - but expensive

Peach Hill - rough as old nails, ran by nazis, evil creatures in their swamp of a pool, rattan mats as beds, lions in their wardrobes - cheaper than the jiva though.

You get what you pay for.

Just kidding about the Peach hill, it's not that bad, but nowhere near as cool as Jiva kata.

Crush, if I may step up to the plate for old hairy plummer - I think you'll find he was dissing farangs (quote plum regarding farangs: exploiters of young women) and wasn't dissing Thai people (quote plum regarding Thai's: these lovely thai girls)

Carry on.

You're welcome to PM me for info.

I was having a smoke last night and when I put the cigarette to my lips my whole hand fuzzed out! I jumped into the shower to cool my jets after the scare and my nipples and testicles were completely fuzzed out too! Completely freaked by this I put a gun to my temple only to find my temple had fuzzed out also! I collapsed to the floor to the sound of the scorpions whistling, looped, for everrrrrrr.

Then I realised it was just a bad UBC dream.

Last week I dreamed of Marti pellow....it was my first wet wet wet dream.

I'll get me coat.

Taken from National Lampoon:

All the #####'s are <deleted>'s

BATMAN sits perched on a gothic tower in a thunderstorm, hunched next to gargoyle as rain drips off cowl. Behind him lightning slices through blackness, incandescent. He stares up at a dark cloud-harbored sky, where the batsignal floats as if on water.

BATMAN: [thinking] "If this is about the Joker again -- I swear..."

BATMAN sails through COMMISIONER GORDON’S open window and stands, cape encompassing body like a robe, eyes glowing as a huge looming shadow dancing on the walls of the office. He turns and faces the Commisioner.

BATMAN: "Don’t even ###### say it. This is SO the ###### Joker again, isn’t it?"

COMMISSIONER GORDON: [embarrassed, looking at feet] "Well..."

BATMAN: [tossing hands in the air] "My ###### Christ, I knew it! You RETARD! how hard is it to keep this nut locked up? My God, do you even bother locking the doors? Here, watch—"

He crosses to front door of office, slams door loudly, makes big show of locking it.

"That’s how you lock a ###### door! [clutching temples] My Jesus, I don’t believe this shit. In the ###### rain on a Sunday, no less. The Rams are playing the Vikings as we speak. You know that, right? You’re aware that, if I had a choice, I would RATHER stay at home watching the Rams play the Vikings, instead of RUNNING AFTER A LUNATIC IN MY ###### UNDERWEAR, YOU ######... IMBRED... RETARD?"

Long pause as Batman collapses on couch.

COMMISSIONER GORDER: "I just upholstered that with leather, actually. The... the rain and all—"

BATMAN gives COMMISSIONER a long hard stare, who doesn’t say anything more.

BATMAN: [lighting up a cigarette] "How did it happen this time? Fake moustache? Did he tell you he had to step out for smokes or something? ###### me."

GORDON: "Actually, he disguised himself in janitor’s clothes... and... um well, just..." [feeling Batman’s hot stare on him] "...just walked out the front door, to be honest."

BATMAN: [taking long haul on cigarette] "Here’s an idea. No, I’ve got an idea, for real here, listen up. How about you don’t let any janitorial staff leave the building..." [he pauses to see he still has Commissioner’s full attention] "...who have BRIGHT GREEN ###### HAIR AND CHALK WHITE SKIN!"

Commisioner Gorden cringes.

BATMAN: [getting up and pacing] "Honestly, sometimes I think you morons think this is funny or something, me chasing after this reject week after week after week. Do you have any idea how much a suit like this chafes in the rain? Oh, and by the way, he’s psychotic, you know that, yeah? I go to nab the guy last week, at the—"

COMMISSIONER GORDON: "—abandoned carnival—"

BATMAN: "—abandoned carnival, thank you, THERE’S a shock, by the way — I’m a detective, you know, I deserve better than this. The ###### Hardy Boys get tougher cases than this. Anyway — I’m at the abandoned carnival, and naturally this mental-head’s made me chase him through all sorts of ######ed shit — big pools of liquid Smylex gas, this big gang of guys dressed like fetish clowns, that was weird — and I finally get to him, right, and he starts telling me jokes. Jokes! I mean, what the ######? Did he think I’d laugh? Ten seconds ago he’s pitching clown knives out of his cane at my ###### forehead, and now it’s evening at the improv and I’m supposed to be all appreciative and clapping."

GORDON: "That’s pretty odd, yeah."

BATMAN: "Oh, did you think so? That’s funny, I don’t remember seeing you there. No, for some reason I only see you AFTER I arrest these lunatics, isn’t that funny? Yeah, that’s odd. Anyway…" [big sigh] "######ity ###### ###### ######. Okay, I’m off to the abandoned amusement park for the ten millionth time. This should be interesting. I hope he’s wearing pants this time. Shit, remember last June? I couldn’t even cuff him I was so grossed out."

GORDON: "Mmmm."

BATMAN: "######. Okay, I’m going. ######."

Batman’s cape swirls, enveloping all light in the room as he moves, spectre-like to the window frame, leaping out of it, becoming invisible in the rain and low-flying clouds.

BATMAN: "######."

Mouse, you are my favourite poster. You did some very admirable work regarding the thing that we can't talk about, much respect.