fatter than harry

I've been driving around Phuket for six months now with a dixie chicks cassette stuck in my stereo. I know that never has a band from the US had a more apt name for crusing the streets of Thailand, however I'm repeatedly frustrated in my efforts to change the tape as I can't find anything better here in Phuket - by better I mean original artists, not air brushed copies of Ellon Jon sings the Hitz.

I have to make a trip to Bangkok this weekend and am asking, nay pleading for any assistance in my search to replace the D. Chicks tape in my car - my god I'm having dreams about the song "Earl has to die!", and I find that when I go to use my bathroom I'm two stepping all the way there

Its so wrong. I need to know of any places I can get myself along to that sell cassettes with real music on them.

I know tapes are old hat but I think I've tried almost everywhere in Phuket with no luck, it's not like asking for 8 tracks or anything......<sniff>

Please help, cos I'm feeling the need to buy those snakeskin cowboy boots I see in the shop on my way home from work and that will be the end!

hmmmm, begs is right, kind of....

I understand the difference between government controlled drugs like cigarettes and alcohol and the uncontrolled drugs that are mentioned in the article.

I understand that smoking and drinking is bad for my health, yet I still partake. I understand that drug addiction is also bad and prolonged use is more harmful to your mental state than your physical one than maybe booze and fags, depending on what you've taken - but I do take drugs and frankly feel a better, more rounded person for the experience, I'm no monster, I've never sold anything to others. I'd classify my drug use as say, a holiday to Disneyland - nice once in a while, whilst I'd classify drug addiction as being employee at Disneyland, exisiting in a continuous its-a-small-world-afterall-living-H-ell.

Anyway, before I stray too far off the point, I have no sympathy for assertive drug dealers, if they are silly enough to deal in a country were the penalty is death then that is their problem and I assume they would have thought of that before say, applying to work for parcelforce.

However it appears I don't really have a point, so I'll just throw in my two pence worth anyway and see how we go

But she added that even though entertainment spots would close at 1am, the government should allow customers to stay and drink until 2am.

Its this which is causing confusion down our way, last night some bars in Phuket were not selling beer after 1am - ok they were really but not overtly although they are allowed to stay open until 2am.

It does make going out all the more entertaining, I just cant see many farangs hanging around between one and two with no alcohol to take the edge off Las Ketchup song

Mate, sell your house, put the money in your UK bank account, come and live here for a few months on your ATM card. Really, I've seen so many people lose their shirts and pants over here in start up business' that it's like I have a mental go go show going on in my mind - you wan ping pong? - enough!

Keep your capital in your trousers for a while.

Spy network to tackle road safety

PHUKET: A new road safety campaign aims to recruit volunteers from government

departments, schools, factories, transport operators, private companies and even

villages – a large proportion of the island’s population – to look out for and

report violations of traffic laws.

The scheme was launched last week by the newly-formed Phuket Land Transport

Security Center (PLTSC) under instructions from the Phuket Provincial

Administration Organization (OrBorJor).

The aim of the scheme, when fully implemented, will be to see school principals,

tuk-tuk drivers, company bosses, village headmen and others within the

community, government and the private sector monitoring their colleagues,

subordinates or neighbors, and reporting traffic offenses to the police.

Five categories of business or organization were identified by the PLTSC as

being expected to contribute to the government’s eyes and ears: government

offices and departments, including hospitals; academic institutions; private

companies; the transport industry, including tuk-tuk, songtaew and

motorcycle taxi operations; and local communities, including villages,

residential estates and open-air markets.

Among more specific proposals is one for a new checkpoint – closer to Sarasin

Bridge than the existing Tah Chat Chai police checkpoint – to catch motorists

speeding either from or to the mainland.

Places of learning must set aside specific “safe” areas for children to be

dropped off or collected from school. School or college principals, in addition

to keeping an eye on the roadcraft of their staff, are also expected to monitor

the behavior of parents and students on the road.

Similarly, staff at government offices and departments will monitor each other,

with the chief of any department having authority to sack staff who breach road

rules habitually, in addition to any penalty meted out under the law.

Dangerous driving through villages will be monitored and reported on by local

headmen while security guards posted at the entrances of residential estates on

the island will be expected to report similar infringements to the police.

Vehicle rental companies will be expected to check the credentials and skills of

would-be customers more thoroughly than at present.

Transport providers, including minibus operators, motorcycle taxi drivers and

vehicle rental companies are to be given training in Thai traffic regulations,

the only group for whom any training is prescribed in the plan.

Brought to you by:

The Phuket Gazette

bmanly is right

As far as I am concerned it is called blind "Nationalism". It is a kind of conditioning in believing you are the best and only the Thai knows best for Thai regardless of the facts. All countries have this blind Nationalism same as we had in Australia and probably still have.

One of the underlying basis for his popularity lies in the fact that he presided over a period when the economy was booming compared with the dark days of 1997-2000 when jobs were difficult to come by. In this regard, I don’t think Thailand is any different from the west.

I would imagine all our contries are the same, it's natural to blame outside influences for ones problems, for example I blamed Messers Heineken and Carlsberg for being late to work yesterday when it was in fact my own fault (in fact it was the fault of Miss Mekhong) - you see I'm doing it again.

I hate UBC with a passion that often frightens my dog and look forward to the day when I start my own cable company and wipe them off the face of the earth.

In this regard is it possible to order books and videos from the internet and to retrieve them from the post office in Thailand without having to pay large amounts for local taxes, customs duties, etc?

You're better off with UBC than the post office for logic, don't get me started on customs duties.....

I'd love for this to work, really I would but I just can't see it. The whole metered taxi thing is a great idea but it would be the end of the maniac tuk tuk drivers who can charge what they like and have been doing so for years.

I've met one or two nice ones in my time but they are definately in the minority, most tuk tuk drivers would cut off both their arms for one fat overinflated fare, I know thats quite hard to do and would mean a mess in their cab but it is the mentality and lets face it, it wouldn't harm their driving skills any.

My home was broken into twice a few years ago, the first time they stole Mamma Cups, mekong and cash, the second time they stole tins of tuna, vodka and cash.

So it was a bit like going out except I didn't get a hangover, on both occasions they left all my techy gear, bless 'em.

But then the euro guy (who was only wearing sluggoes -brief swimmers) stands against the wall and has a piss in broad daylight and in plane view of anyone who walked past.

Sluggoes are bad

I know a couple of girls who have gone to Singapore for a month and come back with up to half a million baht.

Bank robbers, right?

I'd take one up the Doolian before I'd part with 2,000 baht, unless I was on Karon seafront after 12, in which case I could probably get Dollianed and 1,800 in change

troll

VERB: Inflected forms: trolled, troll·ing, trolls

TRANSITIVE VERB: 1a. To fish for by trailing a baited line from behind a slowly moving boat. b. To fish in by trailing a baited line: troll the lake for bass. c. To trail (a baited line) in fishing.

2. Slang To patrol (an area) in search for someone or something: “[Criminals] troll bus stations for young runaways” (Pete Axthelm).

3. Music a. To sing in succession the parts of (a round, for example). b. To sing heartily: troll a carol.

4. To roll or revolve.

INTRANSITIVE VERB: 1. To fish by trailing a line, as from a moving boat.

2a. To wander about; ramble. b. Slang To patrol an area in search for someone or something.

3. Music To sing heartily or gaily.

4. To roll or spin around.

NOUN: 1a. The act of trolling for fish. b. A lure, such as a spoon or spinner, that is used for trolling.

2. Music A vocal composition in successive parts; a round.

ETYMOLOGY: Middle English trollen, to wander about, from Old French troller, of Germanic origin.

OTHER FORMS: troller —NOUN to either fish for cod, or rid the under parts of bridges of goat botherers.

Wow, you're spot on!

An Italian, a Scotsman and a Chinese fellow are hired at a construction

site. The foreman points out a huge pile of sand and says to the Italian

guy, "You're in charge of sweeping." To the Scotsman he says, "You're in

charge of shoveling." And to the Chinese guy, "You're in charge of

supplies."

He then says, "Now, I have to leave for a little while. I expect you guys to

make a big dent in that there pile."

So the foreman went away for a couple hours and when he returns, the pile of

sand is untouched. He asks the Italian, "Why didn't you sweep any of it?"

The Italian replies, "I no hava no broom. You saida to the Chinese a fella

that he awasa in a charge of supplies, but he hasa disappeared and I

nocouldafinda him nowhere."

Then the foreman turns to the Scotsman and says, And you, I thought I told

you to shovel this pile."

The Scotsman replies, "Aye, ye did lad, boot ah couldnay get meself a

shoovel. Ye left th' Chinese gadgie in chairge of supplies, boot ahcouldnay

fin' him either."

The foreman is really angry now and storms off toward the pile of sand to

look for the Chinese guy. Just then, the Chinese guy leaps out from behind

the pile of sand and yells "SUPPLIES"!!

Well that worked... quite the builders labourer aren't you Harry?

I spent the weekend off the worksite, eating kanom. And Zoid, by Kanom I mean boys.

Anyway, I'm an all new, non mean, unlean fighting machine.

Why dont you just also bend over while you're there next time or eat an entire doolian if they ask ?

You think its a good idea to bend over even if they don't ask? I just want to plan ahead.

I went to a fancy dress party the other night dressed as a snail, my friend asked me why I had a girl on my back, I told him that was Michelle.

Boom Boom