DeDanan Posted May 9, 2004 Share Posted May 9, 2004 I have 2 children from my first marrage Girl age 15 and Boy age 8. I have joint custody of the kids i have them 3 days one week and 4 days the next. My ex lives in the same town with her new partiner. We are on good tearms. Problem: My daughter in particular is not at all impressed with my Thai girlfriend, i do not think it is personal to her, but the fact that she is Thai ( her mother may have had some influence in her view) My TG was here for 3 months on a holiday visa and is now back in LOS and i am trying to arrange a longer visa for her. There was no hostility from my daughter to my gf but there was no welcome for her either. she treated her with indifference and regularly ignored her. This caused problems between me and my daughter. i love both my daughter and gf i would like any advice or help you can offer on how to deal with this. Have a Happy... DeDanan Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Basher Posted May 9, 2004 Share Posted May 9, 2004 Sorry mate 15 year old girls are a completely Alien species even to themselves You will just have to ride out the storm and wait. Maybe you GF can do the old shopping bit and get into her fashion sense, but it is all down to the moody little beast herself. Ride it out and pretend you don't mind if she likes her or not Sensitive basher Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GuestHouse Posted May 9, 2004 Share Posted May 9, 2004 Now here is a curious reversal. If you ask for advice on marrying a Thai woman you will be told, somewhere down the line, that you marry the woman, you marry her family, and that you will have to work around that and accommodate that. So now you marry the woman she has to fit in with your family too. Your daughter is still a child and at a very difficult part of her childhood, she probably feels betrayed, she may well see something you can't see, and yes her mother might have said something to her, so too might your Thai GF. You are going to have to talk to your daughter and work this out. Starting with the assumption that she is an alient beast or is wrong to have feelings about her father's choice of partener is not going to help. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Polo Posted May 9, 2004 Share Posted May 9, 2004 Is your GF only 3 years older than your daughter? Get a woman from your own country, your own age, your daughter is probably embarassed, her friends will all be talking about you................ Get an old fat white woman, your daughter will like her, and it would look better in your local area Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dr_Pat_Pong Posted May 9, 2004 Share Posted May 9, 2004 Is your GF only 3 years older than your daughter?Get a woman from your own country, your own age, your daughter is probably embarassed, her friends will all be talking about you................ Get an old fat white woman, your daughter will like her, and it would look better in your local area The moral crusader is still at work. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jimbo Posted May 9, 2004 Share Posted May 9, 2004 A good friend of mine got divorced and now has a new gf who is european. His kids dont like her and ignore her. The reason why your daughter ignores your gf might not have anything to do with her nationality but more about the fact that you have a new woman in your life. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tuky Posted May 9, 2004 Share Posted May 9, 2004 DeDanan, firstly do not worry about what some people say. Polo does not live in the world we all know. secondly, just be honest and show your daughter that you will listen to her. she will have to come around in her own time and in her own way, you cannot push your TGF on her. thirdly, good luck mate. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dr_Pat_Pong Posted May 9, 2004 Share Posted May 9, 2004 DeDanan, firstly do not worry about what some people say. Polo does not live in the world we all know.secondly, just be honest and show your daughter that you will listen to her. she will have to come around in her own time and in her own way, you cannot push your TGF on her. thirdly, good luck mate. What world does Polo live in Leith ? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tuky Posted May 9, 2004 Share Posted May 9, 2004 DeDanan, firstly do not worry about what some people say. Polo does not live in the world we all know.secondly, just be honest and show your daughter that you will listen to her. she will have to come around in her own time and in her own way, you cannot push your TGF on her. thirdly, good luck mate. What world does Polo live in Leith ? It seems to be a perfect world Doc, while the rest of us live in a tainted one full of bars and working ladies. Hi Polo Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nat Posted May 9, 2004 Share Posted May 9, 2004 Hi DeDanan, Divorce is very stressful for children and it takes time for them to adjust. In regards to your daughter, apart from going through adolescence (which is difficult enough), she could be experiencing various other emotions to the present situation. I don’t necessarily believe your daughter’s behaviour is due to your girlfriend being Thai, but more to a new woman in her father’s life. Girls in particular have more difficulty with this situation than boys. This is due to numerous reasons, such as loyalty conflict (loyalty to mother), another woman possibly replacing her mother or worse another woman taking the daughter’s place in the father’s heart etc. This may sound ridiculous as you love your daughter and you know how much she means to you, however if your daughter feels insecure it’s not as easy for her to see this. Reassuring your daughter is probably one of the best things you can do and she’ll eventually adjust to the change. Remember all this is a new transition for your children and it just takes time. Really wish you and your family all the best. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
taxexile Posted May 9, 2004 Share Posted May 9, 2004 What world does Polo live in Leith ? he lives in that world where the sun dont shine. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bluecat Posted May 9, 2004 Share Posted May 9, 2004 Get an old fat white woman, Giving us some hints about the reasons of your frustration (understatment,...), Polo? you cannot push your TGF on herOr any GF for that matter. White, yellow, red, old, young, smart, stupid,...It does not matter: Divorce is very stressful for children and it takes time for them to adjust. In regards to your daughter, apart from going through adolescence (which is difficult enough), she could be experiencing various other emotions to the present situation. I don’t necessarily believe your daughter’s behaviour is due to your girlfriend being Thai, but more to a new woman in her father’s life. Girls in particular have more difficulty with this situation than boys. This is due to numerous reasons, such as loyalty conflict (loyalty to mother), another woman possibly replacing her mother or worse another woman taking the daughter’s place in the father’s heart etc. This may sound ridiculous as you love your daughter and you know how much she means to you, however if your daughter feels insecure it’s not as easy for her to see this. Reassuring your daughter is probably one of the best things you can do and she’ll eventually adjust to the change. Remember all this is a new transition for your children and it just takes time. Time heals all wounds,... My best wishes. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MartinB Posted May 9, 2004 Share Posted May 9, 2004 I am in the same boat. My 17-year-old son couldn’t give monkeys if my girlfriend was from Mars. My 8 year old thinks my Thai girlfriend is my soul mate and they get on just fine. My 15 year old paranoid, schizophrenic, hormone, gushing loving freaky daughter is a different story. She is aware that this women could become daddies new wife and therefore jeopardize any chance of a reconciliation with mummy……………..doesn’t matter how bad things were in the old marriage kids always dream about parents getting back with each other. Just take each day and don’t say anything that you live to regret later. By the time she’s 18 she’ll have her belly button pieced and living with some loser. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bluecat Posted May 9, 2004 Share Posted May 9, 2004 By the time she’s 18 she’ll have her belly button pierced and living with some loser. How come you know my daughter (only half a joke)? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TRIPxCORE Posted May 9, 2004 Share Posted May 9, 2004 I think you should ask that lady who has a radio show in the US about relationships, marriage, and kids. What is her name?..............Dr. Laura Schlesinger. Her whole show is full of people asking questions exactly like yours. Good Luck Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TizMe Posted May 9, 2004 Share Posted May 9, 2004 Is your GF only 3 years older than your daughter?Get a woman from your own country, your own age, your daughter is probably embarassed, her friends will all be talking about you................ Get an old fat white woman, your daughter will like her, and it would look better in your local area Polo, Your friends are coming for you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dkstoney Posted May 9, 2004 Share Posted May 9, 2004 GOD!!! Just talk to her. Ask how she feels about your GF. Ask why. Help her to see the truth of life. Mom's doing her thing and dad's doing his. Life is not a fairy tale or primetime sitcom. If she's unhappy with your GF then maybe she needs to break the routine of custody and be with mom for a while until she can find the courage or whatever to face the situation in your household according to her own will. Good luck. Strive for truth and honesty. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ThaiPauly Posted May 9, 2004 Share Posted May 9, 2004 A good friend of mine got divorced and now has a new gf who is european. His kids dont like her and ignore her. The reason why your daughter ignores your gf might not have anything to do with her nationality but more about the fact that you have a new woman in your life. Very true, they see it as the final nail in the coffin of yoyr marriage, even though you are divorced your daughter will always have thought there would be a chance that you would get back together so things could be "the same as they were" Do as you please, she will get used to it, you have your life to lead and enjoy and its half way through, her's on the other hand is just begining, don't back down it will all be forgotten soon enough, when she gets over the initial shock it will be OK. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
morphic Posted May 9, 2004 Share Posted May 9, 2004 Is your GF only 3 years older than your daughter?Get a woman from your own country, your own age, your daughter is probably embarassed, her friends will all be talking about you................ Get an old fat white woman, your daughter will like her, and it would look better in your local area I spent ages searching for a fat mid-40's white slapper. cigarrette taped to her mouth, huge floppy bazookas, face full of oozing adult acne half concealed by the cheapest makeup, and evil temper, who would nag and carp about me contributing to the housework after my long day at work. But I just never made the grade needed for one of those. I advertised, begged, and humiliated myself, but in the end I had to plump for a beautiful, intelligent, sweet natured creature from a foreign country. Oh, how shamed I am by being such a dissappointment to my fellow countrymen. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Khun Larry Posted May 9, 2004 Share Posted May 9, 2004 My TG was here for 3 months on a holiday visa and is now back in LOS and i am trying to arrange a longer visa for her. What country are you in? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Khun Larry Posted May 9, 2004 Share Posted May 9, 2004 Get an old fat white woman, your daughter will like her, and it would look better in your local area I wish there were more fat white women in Thailand. I am so tired of the beautiful skinny young babes. Where can a guy meet a nice fat old cow around here? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
natee1 Posted May 9, 2004 Share Posted May 9, 2004 "Get an old fat white woman" Go for it, Polo!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tutsiwarrior Posted May 9, 2004 Share Posted May 9, 2004 coddling of surly teenagers usually results in a disruption of character development down the line... simply buy some duct tape and purchase a cattle prod and find a suitable place where screams are muffled... Dad (in a loud hectoring voice): Phillipa, ZAP do you like daddy's thai girlfriend? Zap Zap... Philippa: YES (sob)...YES... Dad: How much do you like daddy's new girl friend? ZAP ZAP ZAP Phillipa: I LOVE HER Daddy...mummy is wicked...mummy must die Daddy... Your daughter shall commend the above activity when she is old enough to appreciate the result as an understanding but firm adult later with her own children Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dr_Pat_Pong Posted May 9, 2004 Share Posted May 9, 2004 "Get an old fat white woman"Go for it, Polo!!! He's really pissed. The description fits the fugly Missus Polo and that'd even miff a saint. Poor old Polo. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Yohan Posted May 10, 2004 Share Posted May 10, 2004 Your daughter is not a child, but a young woman. Best is for you, to keep good relationship with both, your daughter and your Thai girl friend... When talking with one of your ladies, then do not mention anything, which might be a discussion point between the both women....it is not your business..... Catfight is for women.... and if you are unlucky, they might become good friends and both getting angry on you, considering you as the root of the problem for both of them. Better find for your daughter a well-off Thai businessman for marriage. Age of consent for marriage in the European Union - if parents and daughter agree - is, as far as I know, 14 years. If parents disagree, 16 years...... A good early marriage will solve all disputes.... You keep your Thai girl friend and your daughter has a husband and has still her father.... By the way, you might be elegible for some dowry, happy father! Wishing all of you best luck for the future.... Johann Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
maerim Posted May 10, 2004 Share Posted May 10, 2004 What world does Polo live in Leith ? An erudite writes. Leith is not a world but a port in Edinburgh Scotland. However Polo would soon find out the quality of the dental treatment there though if he spouted off there the same way he does on here. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
natee1 Posted May 10, 2004 Share Posted May 10, 2004 Age of consent for marriage in the European Union - if parents and daughter agree - is, as far as I know, 14 years. If parents disagree, 16 years......By the way, you might be elegible for some dowry, happy father! Wishing all of you best luck for the future.... Johann 1. Is this right? Sounds very young to me? 2. If he marries his Thai Gf, he will have to give her mother a dowry, it is always the man who has to pay... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Yohan Posted May 10, 2004 Share Posted May 10, 2004 Age of consent for marriage in the European Union - if parents and daughter agree - is, as far as I know, 14 years. If parents disagree, 16 years......By the way, you might be elegible for some dowry, happy father! Wishing all of you best luck for the future.... Johann 1. Is this right? Sounds very young to me? 2. If he marries his Thai Gf, he will have to give her mother a dowry, it is always the man who has to pay... Yes, if there is written agreement by both parents, and by the daughter too, the age of censens for marriage is 14 in the European Union (in Austria for sure), otherwise, if the parents refuse, it is 16. In Japan, I am not sure, I think, it is 15.... In Thailand, I do not know now, but among Thai nationals it was 13, but maybe this changed a while ago.... I was talking about the dowry, he and his Thai girl friend will take from the rich Thai businessman, who will marry his daughter.... And for himself, better not to marry his Thai girl friend, just read the thread on this forum about divorce in the UK by applying equal laws for wife and man Johann Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Richard W Posted May 10, 2004 Share Posted May 10, 2004 Age of consent for marriage in the European Union - if parents and daughter agree - is, as far as I know, 14 years. If parents disagree, 16 years...... The EU has little to no say over marriage laws. They're not even the same in England and Scotland (we don't even agree over the sex of people!). In England the relevant ages are 16 and 18. A spouse under the age of 16 cannot be brought in to the UK by virtue of marriage (unless there's some exemption under family permits), for sexual intercourse with a female under 16 is a criminal offence in England. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
appleman_thai Posted May 10, 2004 Share Posted May 10, 2004 I doubt if your daughter is acting like she is becuase your GF is from Thailand..... i think you may be over reacting on that part. However, she is probably more upset about you HAVING a GF in the first place........ My old man is a widow (62) and just got remarried to a lady 56 (both farang).... but that didnt make it any easier to see my old man with a new girl!!...... Of course, im chuffed for him to be happy but at the same time its also a bit weird watching your old man holding hands(etc) with someone other than my Mother!... So i say - talk to your daughter...............openly and ask her how she feels about you have a GF - but DONT focus on the Thai part....... we are all Gods children (and before you religious bashers come jumping down on me - that isnt a religious saying - just a catchphrase from Ireland!)..... as I am guessing DeDanan is from Ireland.............. am i right? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
.png.3b3332cc2256ad0edbc2fe9404feeef0.png)
Recommended Posts
Create an account or sign in to comment
You need to be a member in order to leave a comment
Create an account
Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!
Register a new accountSign in
Already have an account? Sign in here.
Sign In Now