How to join in with Thai family when I don't speak Thai?

[233493_1469957364]

Need some advice.  I am 14 years in Thailand and make my living in the restaurant and bar business in Bkk. Amy my gf have been together 8 years and I couldn’t be luckier to have found such a sweetie. 

We have a condo in BKK, a house in Bang Saray – close enough, 2 hours to get to work 2 days per week. We are now building a home on the 26 rai of land we bought years ago near Amy’s family in Buriram.  Amy and I are private people and her family is very respectful of our space, but they are lovely people and will be my closest neighbors with no other farang in our village.

My question relates to communication with her family at weekend get togethers. Amy loves to cook with her mom and sisters and I’m happy to see her enjoy this time with her family. With Amy cooking and chatting with the girls, I have no one to help translate for me. 

This often leaves me with the men drinking beer and having some laughs. The problem is my Thai is very rudimentary, I cannot keep up with conversations especially after a few Leo’s. BUT I feel lost when it comes to conversation with them, It soon gets frustrating and frankly boring to sit there and have no idea what anyone is saying – I tend to look interested, and chuckle when they do, but cannot add much to the party. I usually make it through dinner and beers but call it an early evening to get away and relax.

How do you handle these situations? I don’t want to pull Amy away from the joy of being with the girls, chatting and cooking and bonding with family. But I have no idea how to fit in?

The obvious answer is learn to speak Thai (or better Khmer) which at 58 I have tried and not been able to memorize or retain much. And the Thais speak too fast in most cases for me to pick out the words I do understand.

Any one else in this situation? Need some help to understand how you cope with this issue and join in the fun with your local relatives and village friends?

Many thanks and kind regards,

Jeff

Edited November 20, 2017 by 233493_1469957364

[AlexRich]

I think you have answered your own question ... you have to make a concerted effort to learn the language. I’ve learned a little Thai and found it easier than I thought ... the key is setting aside time every day in a disciplined fashion and taking small steps ... we overestimate what we can do in the short term, but completely underestimate what can be done in the long term. Don’t try to remember ... just practice and over time you will grasp it without having to think. As you have a long term commitment to Thailand it makes sense. Good luck.

[tgeezer]

Naturally learn Thai but in the short term you are doing the right thing in getting away on your own. A perfect time to get the books out in fact.

I found that if you learn from primary school books you immediately have something in common with everyone you meet except English speakers.
G (ก) is the first letter of the 'alphabet' and just as in English you cant say a consonant without saying a vowel, B - bee C - see D - dee said with 'ee' in Thai the vowel used is อ (o') with every letter, even more simple than English.

Because there are several letters representing the same sounds, you can say that there are three ks three 'ข ค ฆ' for example, so in order to distinguish between letters with the same sound, a word is used to distinguish between them. Pee as in person, would be K as in kon (person) written in Thai ฅ คน, O as in Oxen ค ควาย (oxen) and b as in bell ฆ ระฆัง (bell)

I have had to use English which makes it confusing at first but there need be no more than brief use of English involved in learning Thai at all, whatever the picture looks like to you, that is what a ควาย is. There are 'stock' meanings but non English speakers don't know them.
Just bear with me a little longer.

Try the หน้า (naa) face, ที่หนึ่ง (neung) first = first page.
OK , go.
Let your wife read the ก ไก่ book for the sounds but be sure to write down the Thai.
ก เอ๋ย ก ไก่ เอ๋ย is a word of endearment, แม่เอ๋ย mother dear,
ก เอ๋ย ก ไก่ ออก (out) ไป(go) หา (find) กิน (eat). Comes with a picture chicken and chicks and a little story: คุ้ยเขี่ย (dig up)ตาม (follow the route of )ดิน (earth) กิน (you know this word) หนอน (worms) และ (and) แมลง (insects).
You might need to write something like this to help you remember bit give it up as soon as you are able. Go'oye Go gai, ook py ha gin kooeekia dtaam din gin non le maleng.

Sorry to go on but it is a little revision for me too.
I got into a big argument with a Thai long ago who insisted that I read หากิน as 'Working' , chicken goes out to work, I wouldn't argue the toss on that now, we all know what the chicken is doing. Ask the wife if ผู้หญิงออกไปหากิน and ผู้หญิงหากิน are the same girl.
Similarly คุ้ย means use the hands or feet to reveal it can also mean to reveal in the abstract sense a story for instance and it is similar to the word คุย to discuss or to research a story. เขี่ย is to use a stick or something to move something brush it aside perhaps, so คุ้ยเขี่ย is what the chicken is doing in the picture whatever that means to you. The chicken คุ้ยเขี่ย worms and we can คุ้ยเขี่ย an old story as well.
So finally after boring everybody to death, there is a lot of value in learning ก ไก่ because it adds to the number of fundemental words and uses of words to your vocabulary almost incidentally but more to the point, it puts you on common ground with Thai people.


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[Riojasue]

It’s not easy to just sit down regularly and “learn” Thai, but why don’t you and your GF try to speak more and more Thai on a daily basis. Our daughters husband is Thai and although they, until recently, lived in the UK they tried to speak Thai at home. At first my daughter just threw the odd Thai word into a sentence and gradually she got more and more fluent. This is without actually formally learning. She’s fluent now and hubster and I are now learning too. We just throw in the words we know. Some days it’s easy and others it seems impossible but it does get better.

I also think that a little “time out” after a few hours of continual Thai help too. Enjoy and keep smiling!

 

 

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