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Posted

Astrology: because millions of planets and stars have spent billions of years lining themselves up just to let people know that they'll "meet someone with nice eyes today."

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Posted

Isaac Newton told his publisher "I like big, huge tits!"

But they couldn't write that, so he reworded it "The greater the size of the masses, the greater the attractive force."

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Posted

How can people in front of me at a crowded pub never know what they want to drink when the barman asks them? I just don't get it.
I know what I want 2 hours after I get to work.

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