Help! Getting Married

[meme]

Sorry for being self-indulgent but I have some questions and I really appreciate what you ladies (married or not) have to say.

So I am getting married soon. Twice! (gulp!)In Thailand for the Thai family and in Canada for the Canada peeps.

I was wondering if there was anything I needed to know specifically about the legalities of marrying a Thai (we plan to live in thailand)? For example I noticed that on Mearkat's thread she says she had to legally change her name to her husbands(which will bring me to question #2 in just a second), or if my (future) children have my husband's last name and I don't would that cause any problems. I would just like to be informed so if someone has a link or something to pass along about the legalities of it all that would be great.

Second, I have just finished reading the thread re: changing your last name. But I still can't decide!!!!!! My issue is that I would love to take my hsuband's last name out of respect for him. However my grandfather (paternal) is a holocost survivor. He was in Aushwitz for 4 years. He was the only memeber of my family to survive. So I am very proud and attached to my last name. Now I know only I can make this decision, and I know in the grand scheme of things it is only a name, but again I just appreciate what you have to say. If I hyphenated our names my last name would be 20 letters!!! So not really an option. Also seeing as our lives will be full of visas to Canada and the US (my dad's home) would having a different last name make any of this difficult??

And finally (for now anyway!) Any survival tips?? the Thai wedding is going to be hard core moo bann(sp??), up to 1000 people may come it will start so early and end late, outside, under tents... Luckily I have about 15 people coming from home ( which could be hella stressful in itself) to be there and it will be a great and amazing experience.... but just thought if any of you married gals had the same thing maybe you had some tips.

Okay there it is for now...

Meme AKA: bridezilla

[The Dan Sai Kid]

I'm not a member of the fairer sex, but I did get married in LOS.

My major regret was not learning enough of the local wedding customs and when the day came I was sort of prodded from place to place. Had I made the effort to learn more about what the activities where I would have enjoyed the day a lot more. I really regret now that I didn't do this.

good luck

[MiG16]

Meme

congrats once again!! you have no idea how refreshing it is to read threads with happy news and positive attitude. so thankyou for sharing your wonderful news with us

after reading your post above, it made me realise Im actually pretty useless at any of them so in terms of answering the questions I will leave the ladies with more sensible useful advice to answer, or those with specific knowledge on the legality/visa /entry aspects.

not much of an idea about the village wedding either...but in general I think it will be full of fun, lots of food, and depending...perhaps some that will stay all afternoon into the night drinking lots and lots your main job is to look pretty will there be religious ceremony in the morning?

again, best wishes...congrats.....and will check this thread for more updates from you in the future

[meme]

I'm not a member of the fairer sex, but I did get married in LOS.

My major regret was not learning enough of the local wedding customs and when the day came I was sort of prodded from place to place. Had I made the effort to learn more about what the activities where I would have enjoyed the day a lot more. I really regret now that I didn't do this.

good luck

Thanks Dan Sai, that is great advice. A Thai friend of ours who can speak english is going to sit down with me and my family pre wedding to explain what will happen. great tip, cheers!!

[meme]

Meme

congrats once again!! you have no idea how refreshing it is to read threads with happy news and positive attitude. so thankyou for sharing your wonderful news with us

after reading your post above, it made me realise Im actually pretty useless at any of them so in terms of answering the questions I will leave the ladies with more sensible useful advice to answer, or those with specific knowledge on the legality/visa /entry aspects.

not much of an idea about the village wedding either...but in general I think it will be full of fun, lots of food, and depending...perhaps some that will stay all afternoon into the night drinking lots and lots your main job is to look pretty will there be religious ceremony in the morning?

again, best wishes...congrats.....and will check this thread for more updates from you in the future

MIG! Useless! Never!!

thanks for all the good wishes!! yes we are going to have a religious ceremony in the morning and we will go to the temple the day after as well (I think).

Looking pretty...Check!

Edited February 28, 2007 by meme

[The Dan Sai Kid]

further to that - you might want to have a walk-through, talk about where you have to sit/stand etc. Part of my ceremony was leading a group down the road and into someones house - it is very hard to lead a group when you are not sure of what is going on!

[Shola]

Hi Meme, congrats! Although welcome to the world of Thai in-laws!

I havn't actually done the ceremony thing as yet, only signed, hopefully we'll get round to it one day! Although I'm giving birth to our first in May and plan to use hubby's surname on the birth certificate, I still use my name in my passport but always use my married name for other stuff, never have any probs.

All I can say for the ceremony is keep 'wying' away even if your arms feel like they're gonna drop off and keep smiling even if you feel your face cracking and your'll be a hit! Goes for any Thai family do really!

Good luck and let us know how it all goes!

[meme]

Hi Meme, congrats! Although welcome to the world of Thai in-laws!

I havn't actually done the ceremony thing as yet, only signed, hopefully we'll get round to it one day! Although I'm giving birth to our first in May and plan to use hubby's surname on the birth certificate, I still use my name in my passport but always use my married name for other stuff, never have any probs.

All I can say for the ceremony is keep 'wying' away even if your arms feel like they're gonna drop off and keep smiling even if you feel your face cracking and your'll be a hit! Goes for any Thai family do really!

Good luck and let us know how it all goes!

Yes wying and smiling...I have started training 100 wais a day!!!

I am lucky, his family is really great however I do worry about the pregnancy pressure that will come my way once we are married!! speaking of which a big congrats to you!!!

So do you just mean that in Thailand if someone asks you your name or if you are signing something you use his name but legally you did not change it?

[Shola]

Hi Meme, congrats! Although welcome to the world of Thai in-laws!

I havn't actually done the ceremony thing as yet, only signed, hopefully we'll get round to it one day! Although I'm giving birth to our first in May and plan to use hubby's surname on the birth certificate, I still use my name in my passport but always use my married name for other stuff, never have any probs.

All I can say for the ceremony is keep 'wying' away even if your arms feel like they're gonna drop off and keep smiling even if you feel your face cracking and your'll be a hit! Goes for any Thai family do really!

Good luck and let us know how it all goes!

Yes wying and smiling...I have started training 100 wais a day!!!

I am lucky, his family is really great however I do worry about the pregnancy pressure that will come my way once we are married!! speaking of which a big congrats to you!!!

So do you just mean that in Thailand if someone asks you your name or if you are signing something you use his name but legally you did not change it?

No, legally I havn't changed my name but I could've easily got my new passport in my married name by showing the marriage cert, I use my married name for memberships and discount cards.

I never had the pregnancy pressure of, oh quick give us a grandkid! But I have always been told that we will have a suay/Law maak kid becuase of the half Thai/farang thing, so I'm under total pressure to pop out a mini movie star looking bub in May!! There are even family members who think the kid will have blue eyes like me, which I'm sure is geneticaly impossible!! Argh, the pressure to produce cute offspring!

[bina]

boo and sbk put it best: relax and they do everything (just keep hubby away from the booze as much as possible.) we went no alcohol (some beer arrived) in the morning ceremony. i was awakened at 4:00 a.m. and whisked off to a make up lady. then the old grannies chose my wedding outfit (had two different options of basic thai suit, not traditional issan thai as we have no money so did with what we have). at 9:00 am the ceremony was finished.

the people who came to the ceremony wore whatever they found that morning to put on (my daughter's comment). we didnt have monks (no money) so went to wat day before. all the in laws borrowed equipment from the muu baan and the wat. the flowers were bought. the food was prepared all night by little old ladies and uncles. a pig was slaughtered. the puu yai baan attended. two different little old men (very important old men i guess) did the blabla bla part and then the marks on the forehead and the start of the water pouring ceremony.

we were told 'stand up' . we stood. we were told 'sit down' we sat. etc.

my daughter photo'd and video'd us and one brother also did the foto stills. children talked and women gossiped all during the ceremony. we didnt do the evening disco type thing. no money.

oh, forgot. MIL counted out the money we received. we paid MIL back for food stuff, wat stuff, etc. we gave some to big brother. we gave some to wat. we used the rest for the trip to bangkok to do the godawful paperwork that israelis have to do to get married to a thai. (not as easy or fast as u europeans and americans).

i am divorced so there was no sinsot thing. i had received a 1 baht necklace the previous year as an engagement thing so husband gave me a small thai gold necklace for the wedding and we traded wedding bands (in israel a requirement for the woman). we did that part jewish style (ring on forefinger and then moved to ring finger later. thais thought that was wierd but 'tam jai'.)

people who see our photos think we look amazingly relaxed and joyful. we were.

in the amphur i was asked if my country requires that i change my name to my husband's name. no. so i kept my name for easiness sake since i have three kids with my last name. i may hypenate it so that in thailand i wont have problems.

[November Rain]

meme,

Congratulations!! No advice, as I've never been married here, but I hope you & hubby have a long and blissfully happy life together.

[sbk]

Actually, Shola, an English friend of mine has had a lovely daughter with his Thai wife, dark brown hair, white white skin and dark blue eyes! Very lovely.

As for the wedding, it is the groom's responsibility to take care of most things, and you won't have to walk anywhere as DS kid did because it is the groom who proceeds to the bride's house.

You are a braver woman than I, when faced with a wedding of over 1000 people I wimped out and opted for the amphur marriage. I changed my name but only because my husband has a nice, short, easily pronounced name and my maiden name is difficult for Thais to pronounce when correctly and when pronounced incorrectly sounds like a particularly nasty kind of ghost

Shola, I don't think you can have a wedding ceremony after you've already been living together, but you can do a "tambon" at the wat.

[wolfmanjack]

There are even family members who think the kid will have blue eyes like me, which I'm sure is geneticaly impossible!! Argh, the pressure to produce cute offspring!

The blue eyes is not genetically impossible. In Puerto Rico the Taino Indians have dark skin, black hair and many have Ice blue eyes. The look is amazing.

For the wedding I agree with the advice of learning about the ceremony before hand. I was another that was led from place to place and told what to do at the time. There may be other physical things you need to practice. I was almost dead from sitting on my legs in a kneeling position while 500 people tied strings around our wrists and gave us their blessing.

[meme]

Thanks to you all.

Luckily I have been to a lot of these types of weddings in his village and other villages so I know what goes on during the party part, although I just had to come and eat at the other ones, this is going to be like 12 hours . Yes I am happy to be leaving it all up to them( particularly the killing of the cows and pigs!)! The religious ceremony I have not seen in person so I will need to be filled in on that. He says there will not be a procession or the tied stirngs but maybe this is b/c he is from the south. He says getting all the stings tied on at your wedding is a nothern tradition.

Shola, yes, we always get the talk about how cute our babies will be, even his big manly friends are asking if they can take care of our baby. Kids are not in the plan anytime soon but everytime my bf sees a baby I get the look, as if to say, that he is 30 and his clock is ticking!!! yeah yeah I know I know!

So I wonder why mearkat was told by the amphur that she had to change her name to her husbands before she could get a divorce?? I like the idea of taking his name un-officialy.

So thanks again!

[Bellatrix]

Second, I have just finished reading the thread re: changing your last name. But I still can't decide!!!!!! My issue is that I would love to take my hsuband's last name out of respect for him. However my grandfather (paternal) is a holocost survivor. He was in Aushwitz for 4 years. He was the only memeber of my family to survive. So I am very proud and attached to my last name.

Congratulations!

I am actually in the same boat (well, I'm not getting married, but my paternal grandparents were also the only members of their family to survive the holocaust and as such I feel the same way about the surname, even though there are lots of boys in the family, thank goodness, so it's not really my responsibility). Do you have many male family members? Have they had children? Perhaps you could consider using your surname as your children's middle names? If you teach them about your family history they may feel inclined to do the same for their children one day... just a thought...

[mearkat75]

hi have just read your mail,yes im still unsure why i was told i have to change my name to my husbands before they will give me a divorce! i have my maiden name on the marriage cert and never changed to his name,my passport is my maiden name,so why not! anyone know!

have a great time at your wedding,thai weddings are funny[mine was]

i still talk to my soon to be ex about how much fun it was

ended up thai dancing with the grannys!

all the best

[sbk]

Thanks to you all.

Luckily I have been to a lot of these types of weddings in his village and other villages so I know what goes on during the party part, although I just had to come and eat at the other ones, this is going to be like 12 hours . Yes I am happy to be leaving it all up to them( particularly the killing of the cows and pigs!)! The religious ceremony I have not seen in person so I will need to be filled in on that. He says there will not be a procession or the tied stirngs but maybe this is b/c he is from the south. He says getting all the stings tied on at your wedding is a nothern tradition.

Shola, yes, we always get the talk about how cute our babies will be, even his big manly friends are asking if they can take care of our baby. Kids are not in the plan anytime soon but everytime my bf sees a baby I get the look, as if to say, that he is 30 and his clock is ticking!!! yeah yeah I know I know!

So I wonder why mearkat was told by the amphur that she had to change her name to her husbands before she could get a divorce?? I like the idea of taking his name un-officialy.

So thanks again!

I don't understand mearkat's problem either. If a woman is no longer required to take her husband's name when they get married why should she be required to take it when they get divorced? Crazy.

Anyway, where is your husband from in the South? Here in Surat, there is still a procession and string tying in the morning (as well as hand washing, and the water splashing on the heads thing).

[bina]

sbk, i lived with husband before marriage but still did the ceremony;

the string tying and water pouring and blablabla was all combined at one sitting. we were given huge red royal style chairs to sit on with low table to keep hands parked int eh wai position. the flower arrangements were positioned so the water would spill into the flowers; i also had to dance with all the grannies. my husband danced one small issaan number with me and then ran away to sit with the guys again.

my dress was a thai style suit in apricot; dont bother with shoes u are barefoot anyway.

my hair was pinned up and sprayed with huge amounts of hairspray which took forever to wash out afterwards in the waterbucket style shower, and we put a few pink roses in them. the makeup lady didnt know how to do my face (white skin, fuzzy brown hair, jewish nose) so she went for 'natural' and some awful pink /red lipstick. i ddint really care. (second marriage, as long as husband was happy with what he saw, the rest is b..s..). the rings were my idea; (let the visa people here see my photo of him putting the ring on finger and then me putting on his finger) and he wears his even though he works physical work as do i, but he really counts the necklace as the 'marriage symbol'.

all the little old ladies wished me a good pregnancy etc (ha ha, i'm 44 dont think that will work so quick or if i even want that)...

i speak thai but some of the chanting was in khmer and or pali.

[meme]

Thanks to you all.

Luckily I have been to a lot of these types of weddings in his village and other villages so I know what goes on during the party part, although I just had to come and eat at the other ones, this is going to be like 12 hours . Yes I am happy to be leaving it all up to them( particularly the killing of the cows and pigs!)! The religious ceremony I have not seen in person so I will need to be filled in on that. He says there will not be a procession or the tied stirngs but maybe this is b/c he is from the south. He says getting all the stings tied on at your wedding is a nothern tradition.

Shola, yes, we always get the talk about how cute our babies will be, even his big manly friends are asking if they can take care of our baby. Kids are not in the plan anytime soon but everytime my bf sees a baby I get the look, as if to say, that he is 30 and his clock is ticking!!! yeah yeah I know I know!

So I wonder why mearkat was told by the amphur that she had to change her name to her husbands before she could get a divorce?? I like the idea of taking his name un-officialy.

So thanks again!

I don't understand mearkat's problem either. If a woman is no longer required to take her husband's name when they get married why should she be required to take it when they get divorced? Crazy.

Anyway, where is your husband from in the South? Here in Surat, there is still a procession and string tying in the morning (as well as hand washing, and the water splashing on the heads thing).

OK I got some clarification from him. He says that the reason they don't do the procession is that the main road of the village is too busy with cars so it has just been faded out I guess. He is from Trang (anyone want to come to wedding in Trang in July?? bring all your drunk rubber tree farmer friends!!!) he says they (his family, friends, etc) just don't do the string tying. So I stand corrected. They do do the water thing. Oh and the best part I have to have to get up in front of all these people and sing karaoke..shudder....

Bellatrix: actully my father was the only son and then he only had one son so it all rests on him. I thought about the middle name thing but my last name is 10 letters and very hard to pronounce but yes that is an option.

[sbk]

But Bina, you didn't live with your husband in his village before the wedding. See, its all in the perception.

Yes, I suppose you can have a ceremony once you've been married and had a child but it would be considered suspect (at least here) and frankly, I 've never seen it done by people living here.

[chatette]

Meme, Enjoy the event! Most of the suggestions have been well covered in posts above, but you may want to learn your pali chants for the ceremony. We practiced ours on the (in those days) three hour shuffle (otherwise known as commute) to work and had it down pat when it came to the event. I found it personally satisfying to be able to participate in the ceremony beyond being an object in it, and won significant kudos with the extended in-laws at the event. I don't recall where we got the pali chants from (it was 10 yrs ago), but they were written in Thai and Latin-alphabets with translations so that we actually knew what we were chanting. You're lucky you now have the choice of changing or keeping your name. In those days, women had to change their name by law (one of the exceptionally intelligent parliamentary arguments on the subject was that first-relatives might end up marrying otherwise. D'oh). I continue to use my maiden name professionally, and that creates confusion from time to time. Given the choice, I would never have changed it, even tho my rather traditional husband likes people to see and hear we're married.

[Bellatrix]

Bellatrix: actully my father was the only son and then he only had one son so it all rests on him. I thought about the middle name thing but my last name is 10 letters and very hard to pronounce but yes that is an option.

That makes things a bit more difficult, but the good thing about middle names, is that in my experience, no-one ever uses them, so if it's hard to pronounce it won't matter that much. I got out easy, mine's only four letters. That's got to be the shortest Polish surname in the world, and it even has a vowel! hahahaha

[bina]

i am now stuck with ex husband's last name cause too lazy to change all passports id cards etc and for the kids it just makes a mess; dont even want to think about adding a thai last name to mine; try spelling yongkrathock in hebrew phonetics!! and my ex's last name isnt the real one since his hungarian jewish father changed the name in israel as did my father's father so really the names dont seem to matter too too much.

fortunately, when i introduce myself, i only use my first name since there are only about five of us in israel with this aramic name (aramic, not arabic its the american rabbi's fault, that) so everyone remembers me cause of the name. i sign with first name only etc.

and, as a bonus, my name sounds similar to banya in thai and the meaning is the same. hows that for lucky???

we didnt have to learn pali for the chants; a little old man with a white towel draped over his shoulder did the chants. we just smiled. constantly. i thought my face would fall off after awhile.

tried uploading some pics but they wont load?! the computer gets stuck. will try later.

side note: my first wedding in israel, my then husband tried three times to break the glass. each time the glass flew out from under his foot (wearing sandals, kibbutznik!) and almost killed someone in the crowd. i should have known then.......

this wedding went w/o a hitch, no expectations, no bridal jitters, no worries. i think the in laws skipped a lot of the major ceremony since we were lacking in time and money and i wasnt a 'virgin' so i wasnt kept in the house and my husband led to me thru different gates and i didnt have to wash his feet (!) but no one seemed to mind. they had a great time. we had a great time. we were made to kiss with me holding a 100 baht note rolled up in my mouth and i had to pass it over to anon and then the situation was reversed. (so we would have happiness and wealth). we have a great photo from that as some fat old lady scrunched us together to kiss and neither of us knew what we were supposed to be doing!! and my daughter did a great zoom in.

as a wedding gift, someone at my home enlarged that particular photo to poster size and it is now on the wall!! it looks a bit national geographic actually. ''native thai wedding ceremony in remote village" type thing.

bina

Edited March 2, 2007 by bina

[madcatlady]

I'm not a member of the fairer sex, but I did get married in LOS.

My major regret was not learning enough of the local wedding customs and when the day came I was sort of prodded from place to place. Had I made the effort to learn more about what the activities where I would have enjoyed the day a lot more. I really regret now that I didn't do this.

good luck

Thanks Dan Sai, that is great advice. A Thai friend of ours who can speak english is going to sit down with me and my family pre wedding to explain what will happen. great tip, cheers!!

Firstly, CONGRATULATIONS!

I got married to my Thai husband almost a year ago and the day seems like a bit of a blur now. We got married in his village at the temple where he had been a monk. His 'master' married us so it was a nice touch for all concerned. I can genuinely say that I had no idea exactly at what point we were married but a few minutes after leaving the temple my husband confirmed that we were actually now married! I kind of felt sad that there had been no exchange of vows, mainly because I wanted to hear my husband make lots of promises to me (!) but it was less stressful too. There was no-one in attendance from either of our families during the ceremony at the temple - just us and the monk so it seemed very intimate and private. A couple of my farang friends hovered near the entrance and took a couple of pictures. We received string bracelets from the monk and my husband poured holy water into a cup and poured it on the ground outside the temple - I've only a vague idea about what that was about. The monk intoned lots of prayers in Pali Sanskrit and I understood nothing. My hubby says that it was the usual well-wishes for life, health, wealth, prosperity, children etc. We didn't have to learn any Pali chants as it was all done for us. We had a relatively simple ceremony because we have a relatively simple family from a small village. I'm glad it wasn't more complicated as I think that it was tough enough to go through such an alien ceremony (I too am Jewish!) without any added pressure. But if I had to do it all over again I would have insisted that I was better informed in advance.

I laughed when I read about the way the villagers dressed, as it was the same at our wedding, but my husband's village is relatively poor. My brother-in-law didn't bother to attend the ceremony as he was busy tending the cows and turned up at the last minute in his filthy work clothes to tie a string bracelet and hand over a money envelope.

We insisted on having rings and worked it into the ceremony back at his parent's house. His parents blessed the rings for us and handed them over so that we could exchange them. That was our way of including some Western culture in an otherwise Thai ceremony.

And we received plenty of bracelets from the villagers - my knees and back were aching from sitting in the same position for so long.

And I too was up at 4.30 a.m. being squeezed into an impossibly tight outfit with a traditional belt that gave me welts by the end of the day. At least the outfit was scarlet (my choice) and reasonably glamourous. My hair was backcombed and lacquered to within an inch of its life and I resembled a young Princess Anne! I refused to let them do my makeup as I didn't want to look like a painted doll.

But all said it was a great day. I wai-ed and smiled like a loon, chatted to everyone in dodgy Thai, had my first glass of Sangsom at 8.00 a.m. and generally had a lot of fun.

We registered the marriage about a week later at the relevant office in Chiang Mai and it was all sorted out in less than an hour. I particularly like the cheesy marriage certificate that's bordered with pink hearts!

On the subject of family names, I use my English name for all official things as I can't be bothered (and am too skint to pay the money) to change my passport. Generally, I am known by my Thai name here and my English name there. Saying that though, friends and family on both continents call me by my Thai name. I always keep a photocopy of my marriage certificate with me for silly things like picking up parcels from the post office so that they can reconcile my two names. I love my new surname as it has a very significant meaning in Thai but am still attached to my old name, having worn it for 36 years.

I think that I would include both names when naming any future offspring as I wouldn't want my kids to lose touch with their British roots.

I hope that you have a fabulous day and look forward to seeing photos posted up on this forum...

MCL

[meme]

I'm not a member of the fairer sex, but I did get married in LOS.

My major regret was not learning enough of the local wedding customs and when the day came I was sort of prodded from place to place. Had I made the effort to learn more about what the activities where I would have enjoyed the day a lot more. I really regret now that I didn't do this.

good luck

Thanks Dan Sai, that is great advice. A Thai friend of ours who can speak english is going to sit down with me and my family pre wedding to explain what will happen. great tip, cheers!!

Firstly, CONGRATULATIONS!

I got married to my Thai husband almost a year ago and the day seems like a bit of a blur now. We got married in his village at the temple where he had been a monk. His 'master' married us so it was a nice touch for all concerned. I can genuinely say that I had no idea exactly at what point we were married but a few minutes after leaving the temple my husband confirmed that we were actually now married! I kind of felt sad that there had been no exchange of vows, mainly because I wanted to hear my husband make lots of promises to me (!) but it was less stressful too. There was no-one in attendance from either of our families during the ceremony at the temple - just us and the monk so it seemed very intimate and private. A couple of my farang friends hovered near the entrance and took a couple of pictures. We received string bracelets from the monk and my husband poured holy water into a cup and poured it on the ground outside the temple - I've only a vague idea about what that was about. The monk intoned lots of prayers in Pali Sanskrit and I understood nothing. My hubby says that it was the usual well-wishes for life, health, wealth, prosperity, children etc. We didn't have to learn any Pali chants as it was all done for us. We had a relatively simple ceremony because we have a relatively simple family from a small village. I'm glad it wasn't more complicated as I think that it was tough enough to go through such an alien ceremony (I too am Jewish!) without any added pressure. But if I had to do it all over again I would have insisted that I was better informed in advance.

I laughed when I read about the way the villagers dressed, as it was the same at our wedding, but my husband's village is relatively poor. My brother-in-law didn't bother to attend the ceremony as he was busy tending the cows and turned up at the last minute in his filthy work clothes to tie a string bracelet and hand over a money envelope.

We insisted on having rings and worked it into the ceremony back at his parent's house. His parents blessed the rings for us and handed them over so that we could exchange them. That was our way of including some Western culture in an otherwise Thai ceremony.

And we received plenty of bracelets from the villagers - my knees and back were aching from sitting in the same position for so long.

And I too was up at 4.30 a.m. being squeezed into an impossibly tight outfit with a traditional belt that gave me welts by the end of the day. At least the outfit was scarlet (my choice) and reasonably glamourous. My hair was backcombed and lacquered to within an inch of its life and I resembled a young Princess Anne! I refused to let them do my makeup as I didn't want to look like a painted doll.

But all said it was a great day. I wai-ed and smiled like a loon, chatted to everyone in dodgy Thai, had my first glass of Sangsom at 8.00 a.m. and generally had a lot of fun.

We registered the marriage about a week later at the relevant office in Chiang Mai and it was all sorted out in less than an hour. I particularly like the cheesy marriage certificate that's bordered with pink hearts!

On the subject of family names, I use my English name for all official things as I can't be bothered (and am too skint to pay the money) to change my passport. Generally, I am known by my Thai name here and my English name there. Saying that though, friends and family on both continents call me by my Thai name. I always keep a photocopy of my marriage certificate with me for silly things like picking up parcels from the post office so that they can reconcile my two names. I love my new surname as it has a very significant meaning in Thai but am still attached to my old name, having worn it for 36 years.

I think that I would include both names when naming any future offspring as I wouldn't want my kids to lose touch with their British roots.

I hope that you have a fabulous day and look forward to seeing photos posted up on this forum...

MCL

Thanks MCL!! I think that I am really liking the idea of taking soon to be hubby's surname as you and shola have. Having a copy of your marriage certificate on you is a good idea.

Cheers.

[Boo]

I took my husbands name as soon as we were offically married at the amphur. I still use my maiden name at work just becuase I worked there for 4 years prior to marrying so everyone knows me under that name but everything else is my married name.

I don't see a big deal in changing it as for me personally, I want us & our children to carry the same name. My mum has been divorced for well over 20 years but kept her married name as me & my sister had it & I feel the same way.

Our son, due in May, is going to be called Jackson as that was my maiden name & as I am one of 2 girls we thought it would be a nice gesture. Besides we both like the name & it shortens well to Sonny which is easy for thai people to pronounce but at the end of the day I don't thik it is going to matter that much. The getting married bit is the big gesture, the name change is a sub note IMO

Congratulations meme. Have a great day.

[meme]

I took my husbands name as soon as we were offically married at the amphur. I still use my maiden name at work just becuase I worked there for 4 years prior to marrying so everyone knows me under that name but everything else is my married name.

I don't see a big deal in changing it as for me personally, I want us & our children to carry the same name. My mum has been divorced for well over 20 years but kept her married name as me & my sister had it & I feel the same way.

Our son, due in May, is going to be called Jackson as that was my maiden name & as I am one of 2 girls we thought it would be a nice gesture. Besides we both like the name & it shortens well to Sonny which is easy for thai people to pronounce but at the end of the day I don't thik it is going to matter that much. The getting married bit is the big gesture, the name change is a sub note IMO

Congratulations meme. Have a great day.

Thanks Boo!

I love the name Jackson, Jack and Sonny, great choice and congrats to both of you! My last name is 10 letters and ends with ski so it would be a pretty weird as a first or second name as suggested. I do want to have the same last name as my children but actully my mother who has also divorced for well over 20 years changed her back to her maiden name as did my dad's new wife b/c neither of them could handle having to spell our crazy last name.. But in the end you are right its the getting married that is the big gesture.

Cheers.

[meme]

So thanks to you all I think I have sorted out the name thing.. now how about legalities? Just making sure there is nothing weird like you are required to wear a pa toon (sp?? the women's sarong thing) or something like that . Is there a link to somewhere that explains the legalities of marrying a Thai. Soon to be hubby says he doesnt think there is anything special I need to know but just checking.

[sbk]

Makes visa extensions easier

[hellohello]

Hey Meme!

Congratts-- So happy for you.

Got married here last year- its lasted 15 hours! Since it was high season and lots of farang attending (about 30) we did a little bit of both. We skipped the one in my home country.

We did Thai style in the morning with 10 monks till noon (a full 8 course Thai meal with lots of sangsom)- then a farang buffet and island boat trips mid-day ( to cool off - sober up) and later when the full moon came up we invited the chowley's (sea gypsy's) for traditional dancing around the fire pit.

Hubby was kind to build the monks a high enough platform so we didn't have to kneel for 2 hours and we could sit in low chairs.

Kept my name for now- just too lazy to get everything sorted. BTW I live near Trang- Best of Luck!

HH