At What Age Would You Take Your Kids Out To Bars?

[GuestHouse]

Unfortunatly GH me and alot of people used to respect your opinion but in this thread and a couple of others you have shown your true self. Not that I expect you to care.

You're right I don't.

[duratanium]

Seeing many teenagers drinking on street corners, in parks and other places, I made a decision to take my teenage son to the pub with me on Sunday afternoons in an effort to show him there was nothing magical or mysterious about alcohol and drinking.

Now he is 25 years old and rarely drinks at all.

As with drugs, as parents we were happy to allow him to attend all the drug related classes at school for the same reason.

On a trip to Amsterdam I also took him round the in famous Red Light District when he was in his early teens.

No topic was off limits as he grew up and I feel he has turned out to be a well adjusted person.

So to me, to allow a child of any age to go to a bar / pub with sensible adult supervision is not a bad thing. I am of the belief that if you try to hide these things from children it makes them more curious and that leads them to want to experiment.

As an aside, many people in European countries allow their children to be exposed to alcohol when eating out or at home. I have seen many give their children small amounts of alcohol - often wine - with no obvious bad results. To me much of the problem is down to kids / teenagers thinking that because something is Taboo that they should do it for that reason.

[matcube]

It's so funny that the simple original Chanchao question -which, BTW, very few of us have answered, as Gummy pointed out- sparkled such a life debate in this -usually quite sober- forum.

Just to add my two cents, albeit out of topic (or, if you want, one of the subtopics that has been discussed within the main topic), I can't quite find a convincing reason for sending the children to bed at - say - 7PM, rather than - say - 10PM. If no school, of course. What we call "7" will be called "8" when there is daylight saving time, or will be called 10 for people that live 3 time zones from you. If they go to sleep at 7 they get up at - say - 6 AM, if they go at 10 they will get up at 9AM. If you are horrified by those numbers, just change the time in the children's room's watch, and you will be all set.

I am not saying that I am absolutely in favor of sending them to sleep late, I just can't find a logical reason why one should be against it. As long as it is according to a routine, and regular time every day.... what am I missing?

[sorry Chanchao for "stealing" the topic, but I am not the first one... Should I actually start a separate thread on "bedtime for children" and leave this one with the (still rather little) statistics about ages to let children go to bars?]

matcube

[GuestHouse]

As an aside, many people in European countries allow their children to be exposed to alcohol when eating out or at home. I have seen many give their children small amounts of alcohol - often wine - with no obvious bad results. To me much of the problem is down to kids / teenagers thinking that because something is Taboo that they should do it for that reason.

I agree entirely and that is why my aproach to this issue follows the European model.

Importantly, alcohol may be enjoyed in very many different contexts other than in bars, part of family meals is the obvious and relavent example - The issue I see is controlling the experience of our children to ensure that they grow to appreciate alcohol in a more textured and broader sense.

[MsFigure]

<br />It's so funny that the simple original Chanchao question -which, BTW, very few of us have answered, as Gummy pointed out- sparkled such a life debate in this -usually quite sober- forum. <br /><br />Just to add my two cents, albeit out of topic (or, if you want, one of the subtopics that has been discussed within the main topic), I can't quite find a convincing reason for sending the children to bed at - say - 7PM, rather than - say - 10PM. If no school, of course. What we call "7" will be called "8" when there is daylight saving time, or will be called 10 for people that live 3 time zones from you. If they go to sleep at 7 they get up at - say - 6 AM, if they go at 10 they will get up at 9AM. If you are horrified by those numbers, just change the time in the children's room's watch, and you will be all set.<br /><br />I am not saying that I am absolutely in favor of sending them to sleep late, I just can't find a logical reason why one should be against it. As long as it is according to a routine, and regular time every day.... what am I missing?<br /><br />[sorry Chanchao for "stealing" the topic, but I am not the first one... Should I actually start a separate thread on "bedtime for children" and leave this one with the (still rather little) statistics about ages to let children go to bars?]<br /><br />matcube<br /><br />

<br /><br /><br />

You want a good reason for sending the kids early? How about the fact that it gives the childs' parents a chance to spend some quiet/ relaxing time together - WITHOUT ANY interruptions or distractions. Just the two of them

Di

[chanchao]

> You want a good reason for sending the kids early? How about the fact that it gives the childs'

> parents a chance to spend some quiet/ relaxing time together - WITHOUT ANY interruptions

> or distractions. Just the two of them

That's where the Mother in Law or the maid comes in.

Anyway, partly because of your post I've made in known in my family that going to bed at 10pm is ridiculous, and I want to bring that back down. Going to bed at 10pm means that I have to get up to go to work before the baby even wakes up, that's just ridiculous. Yesterday was 9pm, I guess a good step on the way back to 8 or 8:30. When she goes to bed at 9pm she wakes up at exactly the right time to wake me up to go to work though, thus saving batteries for an alarm clock.

Back on topic, I was in a bar yesterday where it was the owner's birthday party. I've never seen so many kids in a relatively small bar. Regular customers brought their kid, the owner has a 1 year old, ex-staff brought their kids. I think there honestly were more kids in there than customers for a while. And the kids were dancing to the music, which was quite funny especially the 1 year old wanting to join in.

At that point it also became completely clear to me that I would not at all be at ease having my kid in there as well. (In the evening I mean, a busy time) Guys going to the washroom had to stagger past dancing 1, 3 and 5 year old kids. I wouldn't be comfortable with that. Though of course I don't MIND other people's kids being around, it's kind of fun. And gave me some ideas of things to let my kid do at home.

[chanchao]

[sorry Chanchao for "stealing" the topic, but I am not the first one... Should I actually start a separate thread on "bedtime for children" and leave this one with the (still rather little) statistics about ages to let children go to bars?]

Oh not at all, I think it's only natural for a discussion to expand and change. This 'stay on topic, stay on topic' in a squeeky stressed moderator's voice just feels a bit unnatural. Imagine having a discussion with your friends at the bar and the bar tender would come over urging you to stay on topic.

But yes, I was planning on a few more parenthood related topics, but those would be a bit more controversial ones. 'At what time does your kid go to bed' just doesn't get in the crowds I'm afraid. (Still they'd be very valid topics, where there's a possible difference between the Thai way of doing things and the current Western way)

Edited March 30, 2007 by chanchao

[Boo]

I don't know if the thai way of doing things for a lot of thai people is that different to the western way. The MIL makes both the neices go to bed at 8pm. They are 15 & 8 years old. Both these girls have to be up when the MIL is (6am) to sweep the house, help make rice & their lunch for the day & get ready & go to school. I don't see this being any different to western parents sending their kids to bed for a decent nights sleep. The MIL & old aunt also go the bed at around 9pm so it's not like they are doing it to have quality time away from the kids but it makes sense, if your kid has to get up for school then they need a good nights sleep & small kids need a lot of sleep.

IMO when they are younger I dont' see the need for too much structure or making them to go to be too early as they will wake up too early (but this is totally dependant on the parents own routine IMO) but once routine in the day comes in effect then nighttime routine needs to be established.

My niece (in UK) goes to be at 8.30pm every night she has school the next day but friday & saturday nights she can stay up until 10pm. She is 9 & this deviation from her routine doesn't affect her sleep pattern on school nights at all.

[MsFigure]

> You want a good reason for sending the kids early? How about the fact that it gives the childs'

> parents a chance to spend some quiet/ relaxing time together - WITHOUT ANY interruptions

> or distractions. Just the two of them

That's where the Mother in Law or the maid comes in.

Why should they come in to look after our child ? Once in a while it would be no problem to watch them, but not every night. That would mean that they would have to live with us. Ummm - No thanks, we like our privacy and that we are free to do what we want, when we want - in our home without having to worry about maids and inlaws popping up unexpectantly. Never know when we might want to walk around the house naked or go for a skinny dip at midnight

Just like our daughter has a routine which has our full attention during the day, my husband and I have one too that includes our evenings being "OUR" time together. We want our daughter to grow up remembering her childhood with thoughts of parents that are loving and happy towards each other, and this is our way of making sure that we don't forget about all the things that attracted us to each other BC (Before Children) and what still keeps us interested in each other now.

Di

[chanchao]

Aew.. Before I said an advantage of later bed times is to be able to spend more quality time with the kids. Then you say you don't want that because you want private time with your husband. (i.e. not spend time with the kids) and then you say that having a nanny or the MIL to actually spend time with the kid isn't good either?

I think you think too much.

BTW, my kid does like your avatar. Points at it and says 'mmmmmmaaaaaaaaaa?'. Of course she calls just about any animal 'dog' right now, but at least in your avatar's case she's correct.

[chanchao]

"No honey, it's NOT a dog, it's an 'AT-AT Imperial Walker'".

Next kid better be a boy.