Age And Weight

[birdbirdbat]

Why don't you see old, overweight western women with young Thai men?

Or do you? I haven't seen any yet.

Most of the Thai men /western women I know are closer to the same age and size.

Do Thai men have the same attitude as Thai women about age and weight? That seeming to be with many Thai woman, that if he is farang, he is rich and therefore looks don't matter?

just wondering.....

[Lordfoul]

I have seen Young overweight western women with Thai men that look to be similar age. I have seen Old not overweight western woman with young Thai men.

I really havent seen many old overweight woman in thailand at all .. Maybe I am not going to the right places .

/SM

[Nat]

I really havent seen many old overweight woman in thailand at all

That’s cause they’re all in the west.....happily content with their old overweight husband

Seriously though am curious what is considered “old” and “overweight”, as am aware perceptions vary regarding such things and are often biased due to personal experiences, such as the beached (not spelt beeched for those who aren’t sure ) whale phenomenon .

Have seen a few western women/thai men relationships (of varying shapes and sizes ) and the only odd thing about them is their rarity.

[sbk]

Hard one for me to answer as well, I live on the island of the perpetually young .

All of the farang women/thai men couples I have seen except for one have been roughly the same age, and this is over a period of 15 years. And yes, a few of the girls have been overweight but hardly on the same scale as many of the truly obese farang men you sometimes see with Thai girls.

[Aranya]

Could it also be that western women are less inclined to move and settle down in say, Thailand?

[Bluecat]

Why don't you see old, overweight western women with young Thai men?

First, does it happen anywhere else in the world?

Not fair I know but this is the way it is, so far.

Anyway, a few days back, I was in Lotus supermarket and I saw a quite overweight blonde girl of about 40 years old with a 30+ Thai guy.

This is not common but it happens.

[p1p]

A Thai friend of mine with a western wife had to move back to Thailand from the UK. His wife came with him but she ran back to London after six months and sued for divorce. She could not take the climate, food or general ambiance of Bangkok.

Perhaps this is one reason why there is such a minority of such relationships.

[Dickie]

This Suffolk girl I got to know went to Thailand, met this truly tall Thai bloke (around 6' !!) and brought him back to England. She's a little overweight but they look about the same age. They have a successful Thai restaurant in Ipswich and they're bringing over more Thai girls to work the place. Soon won't need to go to Thailand to grab a honey!

[Polly]

I think in general, women are a bit more concerned about what is appropriate. Also women don't need the ego boost that men seem to by having a girl young enough to be a daughter or even granddaughter. I would also say, women need a bit more than good sex in a partner.

[Tornado]

I think in general, women are a bit more concerned about what is appropriate. Also women don't need the ego boost that men seem to by having a girl young enough to be a daughter or even granddaughter. I would also say, women need a bit more than good sex in a partner.

Dear me

[Boo]

I know tornado, I think to a degree Polly is right about women having a different view of what is appropriate, it has always been ok for a guy to be with a younger women but the other way around has always been slightly taboo. I think that perception is changing a bit though & maybe in another 100 years no one will care

[john b good]

I have seen Young overweight western women with Thai men that look to be similar age. I have seen Old not overweight western woman with young Thai men.

I really havent seen many old overweight woman in thailand at all .. Maybe I am not going to the right places .

/SM

I have heard it said that there are many "gigolos" here in the realm and that many caucasian females do come here for a good old fashioned seeing to.

Likewise I know of one or two caucasian females who come to Thailand for a bit of the old "two girl stuff" as well.

Perhaps it's just me but I can accept that (as in the second para) more that I can handle this boys back door stuff.

Maybe I should try it, perhaps there is something there that I might find appealing.

I don't however think that I am quite ready just yet.

[konangrit]

Do Thai men have the same attitude as Thai women about age and weight? That seeming to be with many Thai woman, that if he is farang, he is rich and therefore looks don't matter?

I don't think this is solely a Thai thing. Rich men in all countries seem to have good looking young partners regardless of their own age/looks. Take a look in the passenger seat of the next Ferrari you see, I doubt you will see a woman of comparable age to the driver

[Boo]

Very true konangrit, a lot of women associate money with power & power can be very attractive. Also, to most women, once she knows the true heart of a person, how they look becomes very unimportant. As they saying goes, beauty is in the eye of the beholder.

[Bluecat]

Also, to most women, once she knows the true heart of a person, how they look becomes very unimportant.

True Boo.

But how do they know the true heart in the first place?

A bit of imagination I guess, and money, and looks,...

[Nat]

it has always been ok for a guy to be with a younger women but the other way around has always been slightly taboo. I think that perception is changing a bit though & maybe in another 100 years no one will care

Joan Collins was always famous for being with younger men, but her kind were rare - however the times are changing awfully fast. Demi Moore and Cameron Diaz have both made headlines over this issue, but the most controversial has been Germaine Greer esp with her recent book "The Beautiful Boy" Regardless of gender, there's nothing wrong in admiring something beautiful (just as long as it's legal)

[cathyy]

Yes, Nat, but as a good friend of mine once said "I could take one to bed, and have fun for a few hours, but after that what could we talk about?" Men want sex. Women want a relationship. Sweet young things are, admittedly, prime for sex. No argument. But young men are simply too immature for women 40 or more. There is nothing in common to form the basis of a relationship.

[meadish_sweetball]

Yes, Nat, but as a good friend of mine once said "I could take one to bed, and have fun for a few hours, but after that what could we talk about?" Men want sex. Women want a relationship. Sweet young things are, admittedly, prime for sex. No argument. But young men are simply too immature for women 40 or more. There is nothing in common to form the basis of a relationship.

Well, I am a man, and while I might be turned on by thinking about sex with a younger woman, that is where it stays for me - I want someone I can talk to for anything more than a night too - and to tell you the truth, my experience of one-night-stands is mostly one of desperation and loneliness. The hunting part may be exciting and fulfilling, but the sex has always sucked compared to the heights you reach with a partner who you know well.

Since I am now lucky enough to have a fantastic girl who accidentally happens to be one year older than myself, and who is a beautiful person on the outside as well as the inside I do not worry so much.

Thai boys are very concerned with looks in my experience, just as preoccupied with it as Westerners, if not more. Also, the ideal that the man should be the older, more experienced party in the relationship tends to stick in my experience.

Some of my female friends who have spent a lot of time in Thailand complain that they do not find Thai men attractive. So maybe it is mutual in some cases?

Even though I have a Thai girlfriend myself, sadly my initial gut feeling is more positively to a Thai - farang couple where the woman is farang and the man Thai, than the other way around. Maybe because it is so uncommon, comparatively?

[cobra]

... Why don't you see old, overweight western women with young Thai men?

Are you insinuating old, overweight western men are cavorting with young Thai women ...

[sbk]

Thai boys are very concerned with looks in my experience, just as preoccupied with it as Westerners, if not more. Also, the ideal that the man should be the older, more experienced party in the relationship tends to stick in my experience.

Some of my female friends who have spent a lot of time in Thailand complain that they do not find Thai men attractive. So maybe it is mutual in some cases?

Even though I have a Thai girlfriend myself, sadly my initial gut feeling is more positively to a Thai - farang couple where the woman is farang and the man Thai, than the other way around. Maybe because it is so uncommon, comparatively?

Funny meadish, my husband and I have almost always encountered goodwill from other Thais concerning our relationship (once, of course, they comprehend that he is actually Thai). Of course, the fact that he is from Surat Thani and a fairly hefty build might deter anyone from making untoward comments

I think the girls who don't find Thai men attractive have been spending far too much time in the cities where alot of the guys are, to be frank, smallish. At least down south the men tend have larger builds than other parts of Thailand (better food?). My husband is quite a bit bigger than me. I taught English in Taiwan before coming here and although I found many men attractive, just couldn't get serious about a guy who had to wrap his belt around his waist twice Also, I would disagree, I think many Thai men find farang women attractive (it's the differences we all seem to enjoy) but are a bit afraid to approach (lack of english, fear of rejection).

And just to blow away some people's ideal version, I am two years older than my husband

[Nat]

Men want sex. Women want a relationship. Sweet young things are, admittedly, prime for sex. No argument. But young men are simply too immature for women 40 or more. There is nothing in common to form the basis of a relationship.

(Warning: long post, read at own peril)

Q. What's the difference between a 40 year-old man, and a 40 year-old woman?

A. A 40 year-old woman dreams of having children, a 40 year-old man dreams of dating them.

Scenario (quite common in some parts): Picture a single (either divorced or has been in a serious relationship) professional male in his 40’s, who is financially and emotionally secure. He has his hobbies and physically looks after himself. Also, all his needs (apart from the sexual ones) are met by himself, his family and friends. He goes out one evening and his eyes lock with a gorgeous stranger across the room – sparks fly and they meet (this is starting to sound like a trashy novel with Fabio on the cover ). The woman is half his age, but the attraction is mutual and they have a great night of guilt free sex and go their separate ways. Most people wouldn’t see anything wrong with this scenario, right? Now lets turn the tables, imagine instead of a 40 something year old man, this is a woman with a man half her age . She would probably be described as promiscuous or a cradle snatcher, whereas he’d be described as preferring “generationally differential relationships” .

Now instead of the young woman and older man (in the scenario) going their separate ways, after the night of passion, they agree to catch up again and start a relationship. There is a possibility that the woman would be considered a “gold digger” (just look at some of the other threads or the Anna Nicole Smith saga ) – however it would generally be acceptable in society. Some would even put it down to the Electra complex – a simple case of penis envy (well not if it’s a katoey ). Now lets turn the tables again, what if it was an oedipal relationship? The woman would probably be considered depraved, a sexual deviant and an air of desperation attributed to her for resorting to younger men – even perhaps that there must be something wrong with her for not being able to find someone her own age. Noticing a pattern – the stigma is quite sexist really (could possibly be attacked for that statement and labelled a feminazi ).

The Mrs Robinson phenomenon is growing in popularity. Empowerment is not only occurring in the workplace but also in the bedroom. So is it purely physical and sexual? Are women in their prime shagging virile young man just for the sake of it and the pleasure? Partly, but think there’s more to it. Apart from the ego boost one experiences (regardless of gender) from being fancied, especially by someone younger, there are also the fun and romantic aspects. A survey revealed the main reasons for dating were fun and companionship. We all have our criteria (which are relative) when searching for a partner, such as mutual interests, values, ideals, humour etc. So does this automatically exclude the younger male? Not necessarily, but obviously maturity and life experience are important factors, especially since women supposedly mature faster than men. However, I’m sure there are plenty of males in their twenties who would argue they’re just as mature as their 40 something year old counterparts – reminds me of a joke, “Why is psychoanalysis quicker for a man than a woman? Cause when it’s time to go back to his childhood he’s already there (sorry couldn’t help myself ).

Seriously though, if two individuals are attracted to each other and are on the same wavelength then should age matter (obviously of legal age)? It doesn’t seem to be much of an issue for a man to be with a younger woman, so why should it be one for a mature woman with a younger man? I do believe it is partly due to women’s perceived societal roles – of which indulging in the pleasures of young men is not one, tends to contradict the role of motherhood . The stigma is one which has been socially constructed, but is slowly being broken down - all I can say is “here’s to you Mr Robinson”.

[sbk]

Interesting post Nat, and more relevant than you might believe. I have a friend who is an attractive 40 year old single mother. She prefers to date younger guys (around 32-36) rather than men her own age or older. She says that men her own age and older are either looking for a mother for their own kids or have such serious relationship issues that they are more trouble than they are worth. I must also point out that she is, umm, shall we say a very active person (if she were still a child she would be labelled hyperactive. she wears me out, thats for sure!), most men her own age (and older and this includes her ex) just can't keep up with her pace of activity. She is a very fun and interesting person who has successfully started her own business. And she prefers younger men. Not half her age mind you (says anyone under 30 is just too young), but still goes out with men younger than herself. I don't think she has ever been criticised for this, but then neither does she look her age. But, to be honest, she doesn't really care what other people think anyway.

I would think, most successful older women who date younger men would be similar to my friend: Fun, active, outgoing and with a positive outlook on life. Also, most probably don't give a hoot for public opinion.

As for being labelled a "feminazi", I wouldn't stress too much about it, personally I think there a few posters who bandy that term around a little too freely and apply it to anyone who has an opinion differing from their own.

[hellohello]

I agree, Men are bigger down here. But I'm 6 feet tall so finding a taller one than me is doubtful.

I dont mind if my man is a bit smaller Im used to after all these years. But I dont wear my heels any more. Never figured out to walk in them anyway!

But I too, have never seen a lets say 50- 60- 70-ish Homer simpson-ish farang ladies here with any young looking Thai man. NEVER. Sorry Blue a 40ish woman and 30 ish man really isn't that age much of a difference at least not to me. Not that there's anything wrong with it -I just aint seen it.

You go SBK. I too, am older that mine by 4 years.... Doesn't bother us a bit!

[rainman]

I agree, Men are bigger down here. But I'm 6 feet tall so finding a taller one than me is doubtful.

Cough, i'm 6.2 Can you imagine how tough it was for me to find a tall (real) woman in Thailand?

[sbk]

I agree, Men are bigger down here. But I'm 6 feet tall so finding a taller one than me is doubtful.

Cough, i'm 6.2 Can you imagine how tough it was for me to find a tall (real) woman in Thailand?

Oh I don't know, my uncle was 6'4" and all 3 of his wives were under 5'3". I thought tall men often preferred short women?

[Dr. Jekyll]

Oh I don't know, my uncle was 6'4" and all 3 of his wives were under 5'3". I thought tall men often preferred short women?

I can at least see two other reasons:

Some of the very tall people, especially in the past, were a bit uncomfortable about their height, feeling "bad" about being too tall, hence by reaction, they were maybe associating themselves with "small" people.

Or most probably, you have (in Thailand) and sure had (in many places not that long ago) more choices with women under 5'3"

[hellohello]

Once I made it past 17 years old, I LOVED being tall!

I never minded dating men shorter than me. It's all the same laying down....

My love here in Thailand is probably only 5'8". I think he likes having a tall farang on his arm. Similar to the Thai ladies whom prefer a bigger Farang man.

Rainman in your picture you dont look 6'2"

Seriously, RM is your pretty lady tall for Thai standards?

[sbk]

Oh I don't know, my uncle was 6'4" and all 3 of his wives were under 5'3". I thought tall men often preferred short women?

I can at least see two other reasons:

Some of the very tall people, especially in the past, were a bit uncomfortable about their height, feeling "bad" about being too tall, hence by reaction, they were maybe associating themselves with "small" people.

Or most probably, you have (in Thailand) and sure had (in many places not that long ago) more choices with women under 5'3"

Sorry, my uncle found all his short wives in the US