Viper Posted June 9, 2004 Share Posted June 9, 2004 It may sound like another one of them sad thai relationship. Me? Naaa!! Anyhow i'll run it to you like this......Ive been visiting thailand for the la st 6 years on off every 6 months. Ive played around and heard the stories. Lived on Samui 1 year, lived in Pattaya for more, now have a large amount of land, and just finished building my first house. Im now on the way to building a small watersport business on the beach of Baan Krut near Chumphon, alone with an internet cafe. Ok that sound cool you say. Well my intensions really were to settle down and get married have kids etc etc. Im 36 that's what i really want in life right now. So i met a thai girl 3 years ago, she was a bar girl but only for 4 months when i met her. She'd had a complicated and hard life by the sounds of it, and i helplessly fell in love with her, which is pretty unusual for me because i concider myself quite hardened. So it led to lots of affection, time together, travelling thailand etc, and when i was home in uk for 6 months many phone calls, messages, etc etc. Well it turns out she is seeing another man from Sweden the same time as me, this i new about for 2 years, and decided i would put up with it for a while and maybe he would back down. Well this year my gf was pregnant and things started to go pear shape. She was going out late at night meeting old friends getting drunk and using me for a taxi service. I had to carry her to the truck one night while she threw up and wet her knickers. I took her to the hospital that night to get checked up. Thats when i realised that the child was mine after speaking to the doctor. We got home she slept for 2 days, then the phone rang and it was him. She spoke openly this time, i got angry and took the phone from her and argued with this Swedish guy for ages. It wasnt long before he was in thailand, and they both schemed together to secretly meet. I expected this and worked it all out for myself what was going on. What i did not expect was her to flash of to Sweden with a 1 year permit and where she still resides now. I called her yesterday, she tells me she had a baby girls born 3 days ago, and all is well. She tells me the baby is mine but she will not tell me what she is saying to her Swedish bf. Im more than 100% sure the kid is mine. But what can i do now? The baby is Swedish nationality and has a thai mother who doesnt care about who the father is i gather. Can anyone advise me here? I'de really like to see my daughter and if possible take custardy. I dont think she is a good mother because she gave her last child away. She told me she will give me time with her, but how can i trust her now. I dont really care to much about her now but i do care about the wellfare of my child. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nam Kao Posted June 9, 2004 Share Posted June 9, 2004 Play with a cobra (BG) and you'll soon be bit Go find a decent girl upcountry, Thai Thai - no Thai Chinese and start over again G/L Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
stroll Posted June 9, 2004 Share Posted June 9, 2004 Your English is pretty bad for a Brit!? You've let her play you for a fool long enough, consider it to be the other guy's women and baby, and move on, hard as it may be, at least you haven't lost out materially yet. You've hurt yourself enough letting it go this far, and it won't get better, but worse. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sandy Posted June 9, 2004 Share Posted June 9, 2004 Im not sure how it works where you're at. But if u can get some proof that she isn't a good mother and neglecting her child, then u can easily take her to court. And for sure try to get custody of your child. By the way u describe her, offer her some monthly child support, she might even hand over the baby to you. It's obvious she wants to party and do what ever she wants, but she won't be able to do all that with a kid. Probably why she gave the 1st one up. I really hope u could get custody of her. Keep us posted. Man, girls like that really gets me POed. I have a little girl, no matter what gender, i could never let her go. Even if I'm not with the baby's father or not, but i couldnt stand not letting them both see eachother. She wouldn't have that child if it wasnt for u. I would like to smack some senses into her. Tell her to GROW UP and take RESPONSIBILTY!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sbk Posted June 9, 2004 Share Posted June 9, 2004 I think you would find yourself in a big battle if the swedish guy wants to keep the kid, if he thinks she is his. DNA testing at the very least. All this and long distance as well. I understand your feelings but perhaps you need to talk to the Swedish boyfriend yourself, maybe you can work something out with him, prove to him the child is yours. Then deal with the ex-gf, present her with a 'fait accompli" (done deal), and perhaps she will accede to giving you custody, even if only part time. As an afterthought, one big point against you would be if she has listed the swedish guy as the father on the baby's birth certificate. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GuestHouse Posted June 9, 2004 Share Posted June 9, 2004 She'll be back as soon as she clicks the idea that this baby (who's ever it is) is a line into your bank account. I would be extremely careful if I were you, if she turns up again get good legal advice on your rights (including DNA Testing). Write down the dates that she was with you and when she left, so you don't have to fumble for information later. And realise that if you do go for custody you are going to have to go for her jugular, so no taking her back or letting her stay with you when she eventuall does turn up. If she stays in Sweden then just forget her and the child - she was f@cking the Swede, she was probably f@cking a few others too, Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OxfordWill Posted June 9, 2004 Share Posted June 9, 2004 Play with a cobra (BG) and you'll soon be bit Go find a decent girl upcountry, Thai Thai - no Thai Chinese and start over again G/L There is nothing wrong with the Thai-Chinese! No stereotyping please! Good luck mate - but think about the kid. Obviously it's a bad situation as a child should be with her mother. If you cannot yourself, or with the aide of a thai speaking friend, get the mother to see some sense, you will need to consider what the daughter will think when she is older. Will she resent you for leaving her? You can be sure the mother will expect you to pay up if finances for her get bad. She will use the daughter against you if she is of a bad mindset. Sort it out now, just because it's easier out of sight at the minute definitely does not mean it will not one day explode. Do what you have to do, and do it now. There are support groups for single parents in the UK, I don't know numbers but you shouldn't have a hard time finding one. p.s. Even if you're sure, get a dna test done to determine if you are the father. You'll need it later and it could be expensive to delay the courts should they require you to have one after any proceedings begin. I hope you don't have to get into the courts though, frankly. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dr_Pat_Pong Posted June 9, 2004 Share Posted June 9, 2004 The mother and child are in Sweden. Way out of reach. Unless you spend a real fortune on lawyers, there's no prospects of any legal action that has any prospects of a win. Get on with your life. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OxfordWill Posted June 9, 2004 Share Posted June 9, 2004 Having been responsible for bringing this kid into the world, if it is yours, some might argue you have a responsibility to ensure for the childs safety, in the least. A mother who has 'given away' (quote) a child before, may not be 'safe'. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Felt 35 Posted June 10, 2004 Share Posted June 10, 2004 Save your self a miserable future. Forget she, forget the baby and hide or leave Thailand if she ever come back after you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Yohan Posted June 10, 2004 Share Posted June 10, 2004 Play with a cobra (BG) and you'll soon be bitGo find a decent girl upcountry, Thai Thai - no Thai Chinese and start over again I think, this is a good advice.... You really had a relationship with a bad woman. First of all, you need a decent girl and calm down.....continue with your life, do NOT concentrate on the past Start over again (Thai or Chinese or whoever is not relevant) Then prepare for a long legal battle, I think, it is so long and complicated, that you can do that only as a 'side-job' along with your daily life..... I wonder, what the Swedish man will do, and if he is happy with his wonderful girl... And it is NOT SURE, that you are really the father of this child - HOW DO YOU KNOW? This must be checked out first of all. Try to contact this man, and tell him all, what you know about her.... and Contact your former girl friend and tell her straight, you want the child...... If she gave already one child away, she will do so with another child ... If this fails, it will be a very long legal battle.... I am worried... This will cost you money and you need a lawyer in Sweden to take care about that. ---- The point is however, what will you win with that.... you will have to pay support money for the child, and the child will still stay with the mother..... Felt 35 Posted on Thu 2004-06-10, 09:15:52 Save your self a miserable future. Forget she, forget the baby and hide or leave Thailand if she ever come back after you. A good and reasonable advice. Think twice, before you do anything about this matter.... Johann Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
maerim Posted June 10, 2004 Share Posted June 10, 2004 building a small watersport business Now this sounds much more interesting, I am sure you will be deluged with customers. Not exactly my cup of tea but there is no accounting for taste. Good luck and make sure the floors are watertight. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bar/GfreeZONE Posted June 10, 2004 Share Posted June 10, 2004 Bar Girl (Prostitute) sorry about your predicament mate but your choice. Why a prostitute? bet the other guy has more money than you. Scandi's will take on anything, 3 days and they buy them the world. Move on and forget, you live here so find a decent girl and leave the Bar trash alone, they are for idiots and stupid old farts. It never stops Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
stroll Posted June 10, 2004 Share Posted June 10, 2004 Judging by your new name , you are posting from outside Thailand now, erco? Don't seem to make it beyond 3 posts at the time, though. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Khun Larry Posted June 10, 2004 Share Posted June 10, 2004 Try to contact this man, and tell him all, what you know about her....and Contact your former girl friend and tell her straight, you want the child...... If she gave already one child away, she will do so with another child ... Maybe she is not your daughter. Try to confirm. You may be better off just waiting and not let on your interest in the child. Thai girls in farangland often do not last long. Time will change something. Try to keep in touch with the Swede and wait for better circumstances. Ignore her. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NedKelly Posted June 10, 2004 Share Posted June 10, 2004 Get legal advice !! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mai Pai Posted June 10, 2004 Share Posted June 10, 2004 Sorry for the bad luck, guy. Big investment in time and money. Hope the others go better for you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
medicinebox Posted June 10, 2004 Share Posted June 10, 2004 Go back to the bar she used to work and shag all her mates. They hate that. Then when the Viking kicks her out, and she comes back to Thailand, she will lose face in her bar. Easy! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Yohan Posted June 10, 2004 Share Posted June 10, 2004 Im not sure how it works where you're at. But if u can get some proof that she isn't a good mother and neglecting her child, then u can easily take her to court. And for sure try to get custody of your child. What a nonsense! You cannot take her easily to court! This is about the legal situation in the EU, including Sweden First of all you have to proof, that you are the father - if yes, you will have to pay child support money and you will not get your child if no, you will get a lawsuit because of liable in return. Then you have to proof, that she is treating the child badly if yes, the child will be given temporarly to foster parents in Sweden, and if the mistreatment is not too bad, she will get the child back again. if no, you will get the next lawsuit because of liable. Then you have to proof, that she is repeatly mistreating the child, result above written situation will be the same for several times, it might take years. If the mistreatment is bad, and her marriage with the other broken up, and the child in custody with foster parents then you have to proof, that you have a firm family life, preferable with children with your wife, then MAYBE you might get permission to bring up your child in your home in Thailand. Mai Pai Posted on Thu 2004-06-10, 20:28:15 Sorry for the bad luck, guy. Big investment in time and money. Hope the others go better for you. NedKelly Posted on Thu 2004-06-10, 16:50:04 Get legal advice !! Nothing to add! Johann Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
350torana Posted June 10, 2004 Share Posted June 10, 2004 Sorry to hear about the situation. It is easy for some here to say just walk away and forget your daughter. If she is really yours you have a moral right to be part of her life, unfortuantly..not sure about legal rights. It would make me mad as ###### to have my daughter calling someone other guy dad Good luck Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pnustedt Posted June 10, 2004 Share Posted June 10, 2004 You better move on! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dfwbkk Posted June 10, 2004 Share Posted June 10, 2004 Im more than 100% sure the kid is mine. Will, how do you know this? You don't take her word for it do you? 40 weeks from conception is the standard (forget 9 months...) I do feel for you, but your situation is almost unsolvable. As others have suggested, I would recommend getting to her through the current BF - do you have contact info/location etc for him/them? This site will assist you in finding their phone number (providing you have some info about him). Fornamn= given name, efternamn = family name, postort=postal city. http://privatpersoner.eniro.se/ I would go through any obstacle myself to get my child back (we got 2 with another on it's way) but once again, since the child is born in Sweden with a Swedish nationality I think your only avenue is going through the guy... /// DFW Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sandy Posted June 10, 2004 Share Posted June 10, 2004 dfwbkk Posted on Thu 2004-06-10, 20:34:24 Will, how do you know this? You don't take her word for it do you?40 weeks from conception is the standard (forget 9 months...) He's right, get a DNA/Paternity Test ASAP!!! Speaking from experience, some girls can be wrong on their first day of menstraul period, and if shes off a little, it will throw off the conceive date. So, you will never know, until it's proven. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mai_ra_bu_cheu Posted June 10, 2004 Share Posted June 10, 2004 There is nothing wrong with the Thai-Chinese! No stereotyping please! mmmm, I would love to do a survey on all non Thai-Chinese people living here, to see what they think about this. I know what all my farang friends think and what all the Thais I know think. Then again what is a real Thai? I know decent Thai/Chinese people, but they are a minority. I can't help stereotyping. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nam Kao Posted June 10, 2004 Share Posted June 10, 2004 >>>>There is nothing wrong with the Thai-Chinese! No stereotyping please! TRUST ME ON THIS ONE Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Khun Larry Posted June 10, 2004 Share Posted June 10, 2004 I can't help stereotyping. I agree sterotyping is the way to go. I was told Chineese-Thai are the best. Go figure. There is just no truth in sterotyping anymore Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dfwbkk Posted June 10, 2004 Share Posted June 10, 2004 I can't help stereotyping. I agree sterotyping is the way to go. I was told Chineese-Thai are the best. Go figure. There is just no truth in sterotyping anymore I hate all stereotypers!! /// DFW Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mai_ra_bu_cheu Posted June 10, 2004 Share Posted June 10, 2004 I was told Chineese-Thai are the best. Go figure.Best what? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ka12345 Posted June 10, 2004 Share Posted June 10, 2004 If you know what town she lives in, you can always contact the local social services (socialkontor). They are usually happy to deal with this type of things and like to get involved in anything there they can control peoples lives. If she have anything shady in her background they will be more than happy to drag her in the dirt etc and they will probably know all the legal ways to screw with her in SE. Just be careful so they don't decide to take the kid in their custody and adopt her away. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mai_ra_bu_cheu Posted June 10, 2004 Share Posted June 10, 2004 And who told you? Don't listen and believe all you are told. Observe and come to you own conclusion. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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