Hi,

 

My niece is in a relationship with what Thais refer to as a tom. Up until now I referred to 'her partner' then 'her fiance(e)' but they're getting married today. I'll be posting some pics for friends and family back home and I'm not sure how I should refer to them. Sorry if it sounds a daft question but I thought this would be a good place to get some advice. 

 

I'll check back later for replies as I'm off to join the ceremony now, thanks in advance.

Just use her name.

12 minutes ago, Blue Muton said:

I'm not sure how I should refer to them.

Nong Tom and Nong Dee.

5 minutes ago, BritManToo said:

Nong Tom and Nong Dee.

Sorry, I didn’t make it clear that I meant in English.

Wife.  As in "I now pronounce you wife and wife."

Edited January 9, 20224 yr by Oxx

Ask your niece

Ask your niece what she prefers or as stated already, simply use their names and skip the pronoun BS.

If you meant "tom" being a gay woman person as a husband she should refer to loosely as "fan" or more precise "Pua"... fan is a universal word to describe anything from a GF to a husband/wife, while the word Pua describes a husband...

Just now, Oxx said:

Wife.

But what if they are 'trans' and both identify as males, then it would be 'husband' ... ????

Interesting. Thought.as now as samse sex marriage in UK.. what does the vicar say  do you take this man./ Women as your husband../ wife to lawfully ect .. very confusing.... Thailand Okay of as can't understand what the monk says...

Edited January 9, 20224 yr by yeahbutif

1 hour ago, FritsSikkink said:

Ask your niece

She doesn't speak any English.

^^  Good Gawd mate, how hard can this be?  Then get someone who does speak English to ask your niece in Thai language what everyone wants to be called and that should sort it out for you.

Life partner

Well there is no legal same sex marriage in Thailand, so terms like fiancé/husband/wife are not necessary. I would continue referring to the niece's partner as her partner. When speaking directly to the partner I would use her name. If the partner's name is Lek, Daeng or Jit, then just call her that name. It's not expected for foreigners to get into all the complicated pee/nong/ah/nah/paw/mair/yai/boo prefixes.

2 hours ago, Blue Muton said:

She doesn't speak any English.

So why does it matter?

2 hours ago, bluebluewater said:

^^  Good Gawd mate, how hard can this be?  Then get someone who does speak English to ask your niece in Thai language what everyone wants to be called and that should sort it out for you.

I guess you missed this bit:

 

" I'll be posting some pics for friends and family back home and I'm not sure how I should refer to them."

50 minutes ago, grain said:

Well there is no legal same sex marriage in Thailand, so terms like fiancé/husband/wife are not necessary. I would continue referring to the niece's partner as her partner. When speaking directly to the partner I would use her name. If the partner's name is Lek, Daeng or Jit, then just call her that name. It's not expected for foreigners to get into all the complicated pee/nong/ah/nah/paw/mair/yai/boo prefixes.

Well yes, but there's de jure and de facto. I'm talking in terms of the latter. As they said they were engaged and today married that's good enough for me. I do use her name when talking here and the titles that you refer to, it is expected of me and I don't find it difficult or awkward. 

 

I was up at 3.00 this morning so was semi-comatose when I originally posted and used a poor choice of word in "address", so apologies for that, what I really meant was 'refer to', as in the sentence:

 

"I'll be posting some pics for friends and family back home and I'm not sure how I should refer to them."

A couple of unhelpful, troll posts have been removed.

 

I am not sure what is the best reference.  I suspect you would have to defer to their preferred terminology, however, when posting, perhaps just use something general like the 'happy couple', etc.