A Simple Filling? Not in This Town, Mates!

[SoCal1990]

A lighthearted fable and the latest satirical chapter in the saga of the legendary bob smith.

 

Righty-o, lads, I was hoping for a fresh start after the tragic barber shop massacre earlier this morning, so I figured I’d sort out a small tooth filling that was festering in order to finally get my afternoon back on track. Nice, simple taking-care-of-bob day, right mates? No drama. Just in, out, smile, and choppers fully restored.

 

But no. Not in this town.

 

See, while I was in Spain, I popped into a dentist for a routine cleaning, and the bloke spotted a little cavity. “Nothing urgent,” he said. “Can wait until you’re back in Thailand,” he assured me. So, like a responsible man, I put it off. No rush, right?

 

Fast forward to today. I stroll into this fancy dental clinic that I've passed by many times on Soi 69. It's got plush chairs, marble floors, jazz music playing softly in the background. Top-tier establishment, innit? No dodgy back-alley operations for bob the baller. No, no, no, no-way, mates. I'm feeling good. Feeling responsible that I'm going to get this sorted proper now.

 

Dentist lady has me in the chair, tilted so far back that the coins start falling out of my Gucci jeans, takes one look under the theatre lights and says, “Before we fill it, let’s do an X-ray to see how deep it is, ok khun bob?” "Fair enough" I say. "Why not? Up to you na khrub."

 

Then comes the bad news.

 

My ‘tiny’ cavity? Not tiny. Not even close. The thing had gone full minging rogue. As septic as a back soi street drain during monsoon season. The root was dead. Tooth was beyond saving. And now, unless I wanted a flesh-eating infection crawling into my jawbone, the whole thing had to come out today.

 

Before I can protest, she’s jabbing me with Novocaine like she’s trying to put down a suffering rhino. I lose count after the fifth injection. My tongue goes numb and hangs out of my mouth. My left ear starts tingling. I’m drooling like a Labrador in the hot sun.

 

Then she gets to work.

 

Now, I don’t know if you’ve ever had a tooth pulled in the hub of dentistry, but let me tell you, it is not a dignified experience. She’s yanking, twisting, grunting, the whole shebang. I think she may have even farted once. At one point, I think she even puts a knee on my chest for extra leverage. Then suddenly, I hear a loud, sickening crack as the tooth finally gives up the ghost and it's out.

 

And just like that, I’m down one molar.

 

After paying the 55,700 baht bill, I’m now outside the clinic, on the street, half my face paralyzed, drooling like a giraffe with heatstroke, a kilo of cotton stuffed in my cheek like a prize pig at a county fair, can't control my mouth, looking like I’ve had a stroke on half my face, absolutely starving because I haven’t eaten in six and a half hours. Next, I stumble into 7-Eleven, thinking I’ll grab a premium, triple ham and cheese toasty, only to remember the dentist’s parting words:

 

“No solid food for a week while it heals, neh khun bob.”

 

A week. Bloody hell!

 

So now, I’m on an all-liquid diet. Rice porridge, banana milkshakes, miso soup so thin you could drink it through a straw. The lady at the smoothie stand is now my new best friend and soon I'm to become king of the soy milk diet. Meanwhile, all I can think about is a nice plate of fish and chips with extra Lea & Perrins, something I won’t be chomping down anytime soon.

 

So, lads, that’s me for the next seven days, face half-dangling, living on pre-chewed baby food, and wondering how a simple filling turned into this big-bob mess.

 

Ever had your teeth betray you like this? Any tips on how to survive this hellish, soft-food prison?

 

Lost my appetite and a molar,

bob. 

[Ben Zioner]

41 minutes ago, SoCal1990 said:

think she may have even farted once

U got farts on your mind these days.. How is the sex?

[Ben Zioner]

42 minutes ago, SoCal1990 said:

At one point, I think she even puts a knee on my chest for extra leverage.

She didn't wear a miniskirt and no undies, did she?

[Ben Zioner]

43 minutes ago, SoCal1990 said:

After paying the 55,700 baht bill,

U got one of those "same day implants"?

[Lacessit]

News flash for the OP - Bob is back, flush with bitcoin, hoping to woo his readers back from you.

 

He claims he is having sex with three ladies  tonight, would you like to share what happened to your willy when you attempted the same?

[save the frogs]

43 minutes ago, Lacessit said:

News flash for the OP - Bob is back,

Yes, Bob is back. So OP might be out of a job.

 

[steven100]

you really need to get a hobby 

[blaze master]

3 minutes ago, steven100 said:

you really need to get a hobby 

 

And an imagination. This is trash writing

 

[steven100]

1 minute ago, blaze master said:

 

And an imagination. This is trash writing

 

I only read the first sentence and that was enough for me .... 

I'm not wasting my life reading that junk....    haha 

[blaze master]

1 minute ago, steven100 said:

I only read the first sentence and that was enough for me .... 

I'm not wasting my life reading that junk....    haha 

 

I hear you. Brain rot.  At least bob had some swagger. 

[steven100]

2 hours ago, SoCal1990 said:

A lighthearted fable and the latest satirical chapter in the saga of the legendary bob smith.

 

Righty-o, lads, I was hoping for a fresh start after the tragic barber shop massacre earlier this morning, so I figured I’d sort out a small tooth filling that was festering in order to finally get my afternoon back on track. Nice, simple taking-care-of-bob day, right mates? No drama. Just in, out, smile, and choppers fully restored.

 

But no. Not in this town.

 

See, while I was in Spain, I popped into a dentist for a routine cleaning, and the bloke spotted a little cavity. “Nothing urgent,” he said. “Can wait until you’re back in Thailand,” he assured me. So, like a responsible man, I put it off. No rush, right?

 

Fast forward to today. I stroll into this fancy dental clinic that I've passed by many times on Soi 69. It's got plush chairs, marble floors, jazz music playing softly in the background. Top-tier establishment, innit? No dodgy back-alley operations for bob the baller. No, no, no, no-way, mates. I'm feeling good. Feeling responsible that I'm going to get this sorted proper now.

 

Dentist lady has me in the chair, tilted so far back that the coins start falling out of my Gucci jeans, takes one look under the theatre lights and says, “Before we fill it, let’s do an X-ray to see how deep it is, ok khun bob?” "Fair enough" I say. "Why not? Up to you na khrub."

 

Then comes the bad news.

 

My ‘tiny’ cavity? Not tiny. Not even close. The thing had gone full minging rogue. As septic as a back soi street drain during monsoon season. The root was dead. Tooth was beyond saving. And now, unless I wanted a flesh-eating infection crawling into my jawbone, the whole thing had to come out today.

 

Before I can protest, she’s jabbing me with Novocaine like she’s trying to put down a suffering rhino. I lose count after the fifth injection. My tongue goes numb and hangs out of my mouth. My left ear starts tingling. I’m drooling like a Labrador in the hot sun.

 

Then she gets to work.

 

Now, I don’t know if you’ve ever had a tooth pulled in the hub of dentistry, but let me tell you, it is not a dignified experience. She’s yanking, twisting, grunting, the whole shebang. I think she may have even farted once. At one point, I think she even puts a knee on my chest for extra leverage. Then suddenly, I hear a loud, sickening crack as the tooth finally gives up the ghost and it's out.

 

And just like that, I’m down one molar.

 

After paying the 55,700 baht bill, I’m now outside the clinic, on the street, half my face paralyzed, drooling like a giraffe with heatstroke, a kilo of cotton stuffed in my cheek like a prize pig at a county fair, can't control my mouth, looking like I’ve had a stroke on half my face, absolutely starving because I haven’t eaten in six and a half hours. Next, I stumble into 7-Eleven, thinking I’ll grab a premium, triple ham and cheese toasty, only to remember the dentist’s parting words:

 

“No solid food for a week while it heals, neh khun bob.”

 

A week. Bloody hell!

 

So now, I’m on an all-liquid diet. Rice porridge, banana milkshakes, miso soup so thin you could drink it through a straw. The lady at the smoothie stand is now my new best friend and soon I'm to become king of the soy milk diet. Meanwhile, all I can think about is a nice plate of fish and chips with extra Lea & Perrins, something I won’t be chomping down anytime soon.

 

So, lads, that’s me for the next seven days, face half-dangling, living on pre-chewed baby food, and wondering how a simple filling turned into this big-bob mess.

 

Ever had your teeth betray you like this? Any tips on how to survive this hellish, soft-food prison?

 

Lost my appetite and a molar,

bob. 

 

I'll wait until the movie comes out ... 

[EVENKEEL]

Bob's your uncle.

[Stocky]

1 hour ago, Lacessit said:

News flash for the OP - Bob is back, flush with bitcoin, hoping to woo his readers back from you.

There's rich Robert Smith, and then there's plain Two Bob Smith and his catalogue of errors

[Ralf001]

2 hours ago, SoCal1990 said:

7-Eleven, thinking I’ll grab a premium, triple ham and cheese toasty

 

 

 

When did they start selling those ?

[homeseeker]

Many dentists love to fleece their patients.....

[Yellowtail]

wind-up

[Dan O]

6 hours ago, SoCal1990 said:

A lighthearted fable and the latest satirical chapter in the saga of the legendary bob smith.

 

Righty-o, lads, I was hoping for a fresh start after the tragic barber shop massacre earlier this morning, so I figured I’d sort out a small tooth filling that was festering in order to finally get my afternoon back on track. Nice, simple taking-care-of-bob day, right mates? No drama. Just in, out, smile, and choppers fully restored.

 

But no. Not in this town.

 

See, while I was in Spain, I popped into a dentist for a routine cleaning, and the bloke spotted a little cavity. “Nothing urgent,” he said. “Can wait until you’re back in Thailand,” he assured me. So, like a responsible man, I put it off. No rush, right?

 

Fast forward to today. I stroll into this fancy dental clinic that I've passed by many times on Soi 69. It's got plush chairs, marble floors, jazz music playing softly in the background. Top-tier establishment, innit? No dodgy back-alley operations for bob the baller. No, no, no, no-way, mates. I'm feeling good. Feeling responsible that I'm going to get this sorted proper now.

 

Dentist lady has me in the chair, tilted so far back that the coins start falling out of my Gucci jeans, takes one look under the theatre lights and says, “Before we fill it, let’s do an X-ray to see how deep it is, ok khun bob?” "Fair enough" I say. "Why not? Up to you na khrub."

 

Then comes the bad news.

 

My ‘tiny’ cavity? Not tiny. Not even close. The thing had gone full minging rogue. As septic as a back soi street drain during monsoon season. The root was dead. Tooth was beyond saving. And now, unless I wanted a flesh-eating infection crawling into my jawbone, the whole thing had to come out today.

 

Before I can protest, she’s jabbing me with Novocaine like she’s trying to put down a suffering rhino. I lose count after the fifth injection. My tongue goes numb and hangs out of my mouth. My left ear starts tingling. I’m drooling like a Labrador in the hot sun.

 

Then she gets to work.

 

Now, I don’t know if you’ve ever had a tooth pulled in the hub of dentistry, but let me tell you, it is not a dignified experience. She’s yanking, twisting, grunting, the whole shebang. I think she may have even farted once. At one point, I think she even puts a knee on my chest for extra leverage. Then suddenly, I hear a loud, sickening crack as the tooth finally gives up the ghost and it's out.

 

And just like that, I’m down one molar.

 

After paying the 55,700 baht bill, I’m now outside the clinic, on the street, half my face paralyzed, drooling like a giraffe with heatstroke, a kilo of cotton stuffed in my cheek like a prize pig at a county fair, can't control my mouth, looking like I’ve had a stroke on half my face, absolutely starving because I haven’t eaten in six and a half hours. Next, I stumble into 7-Eleven, thinking I’ll grab a premium, triple ham and cheese toasty, only to remember the dentist’s parting words:

 

“No solid food for a week while it heals, neh khun bob.”

 

A week. Bloody hell!

 

So now, I’m on an all-liquid diet. Rice porridge, banana milkshakes, miso soup so thin you could drink it through a straw. The lady at the smoothie stand is now my new best friend and soon I'm to become king of the soy milk diet. Meanwhile, all I can think about is a nice plate of fish and chips with extra Lea & Perrins, something I won’t be chomping down anytime soon.

 

So, lads, that’s me for the next seven days, face half-dangling, living on pre-chewed baby food, and wondering how a simple filling turned into this big-bob mess.

 

Ever had your teeth betray you like this? Any tips on how to survive this hellish, soft-food prison?

 

Lost my appetite and a molar,

bob. 

It turned into a "big bob mess" because you over exaggerate or make up this crap just to make yourself seem important. Cant write a post without mentioning money and highly inflating the amounts. Oh poor bob

[sqwakvfr]

I have had 3 implants done in CNX.  Each required tooth extraction and yes soft foods and liquids are recomended for the first few days.  Bob, did you get an implant and crown?  The total for extraction, crown, 3D X Ray and zironia crown came to just 60,000 each time.  One of the implants had to taken out because it kept on bleeding and my face felt numb.  From time to time the same side  still feels numb even though the implant was redone.  Now i hestitate to pay for another implant because just like Bob I am not certain an implant was actually necessary.  Each and every time the dentist said "you need implant", "no other choice."  I went along because we are in the Land of Smiles and questionning the advice of a medial professional is not culuturally acceptable.  I have empathy for Bob. 

[Somjot]

Dear Bob,

as much as your story is entertaining, we both know it's partially if not totally made-up.

 

The question is how much time passed between the Spanish dentist telling you that the cavity in your tooth is not urgent and the day you walked into that clinic in Thailand.

 

So how much did you Fast forward?

Several months or even years?

 

No dentist will give you 5 injections In a row; he will always ask for the numbness after the first one and if it does not happen within 5 minutes, then and only then give you another one and if it's really necessary even a third one but that's it as there is a limit to how much you can inject in a certain area.

 

If you really got five of them, there is a high chance that it was you that farted, as with that amount it is inevitable that some of it gets into the bloodstream and turns other areas numb - in your case unfortunately the sphincter muscle.

 

There is absolutely no way that you paid 55.700 Baht,- for a tooth extraction.

 

Even in case of a complicated surgery with cutting the alveolar bone and removing the tooth piece by piece and done so in the most expensive hospitals in Thailand it would not cost even 10% of the price you named.

 

I know what I'm talking about. I am in the same profession like the lady, who tortured you, and by now for more than 35 years.

 

And as much as you are suffering from a very vivid fantasy my curse is my helper syndrome, which will benefit you right now.

 

this is no joke and nothing but a pure professional advice:

 

aside from alcohol and tobacco and physical activity there are some foods, that you should avoid at least a few days after your surgery:

 

coffee, tea and yes, dairy products so stop those milkshakes.

 

Most importantly, COOL that area. Take 2 small hand towels, put one on your cheek, where the tooth has been pulled out and the other one in your fridge and exchange them every 30 minutes.

 

Most patients underestimate but this is the best thing you can do to avoid a hamster face

 

Get well soon!

 

And by the way, it was most likely not your tooth, who betrayed you but rather you betrayed your tooth. Treat the remaining better by visiting the dentist in time.

 

Never forget. You have only one set of teeth for all your life. Sharks can grow teeth back -  we can't.

 

Before I forget it.

 

If the sign outside that dental clinic looked anything like that, it wasn`t one and there is a high chance, there might be another reason for that fart.

 

 

[HappyExpat57]

8 hours ago, steven100 said:

I only read the first sentence and that was enough for me .... 

I'm not wasting my life reading that junk....    haha 

But you commented at least twice (I'm not wasting any more of my time either).

That equates to generated clicks which is the obvious goal of a post like this.

[pgrahmm]

Clench a tea bag over the wound....Cuts the recovery time to less than half....

[newbee2022]

On 2/17/2025 at 4:15 PM, SoCal1990 said:

A lighthearted fable and the latest satirical chapter in the saga of the legendary bob smith.

 

Righty-o, lads, I was hoping for a fresh start after the tragic barber shop massacre earlier this morning, so I figured I’d sort out a small tooth filling that was festering in order to finally get my afternoon back on track. Nice, simple taking-care-of-bob day, right mates? No drama. Just in, out, smile, and choppers fully restored.

 

But no. Not in this town.

 

See, while I was in Spain, I popped into a dentist for a routine cleaning, and the bloke spotted a little cavity. “Nothing urgent,” he said. “Can wait until you’re back in Thailand,” he assured me. So, like a responsible man, I put it off. No rush, right?

 

Fast forward to today. I stroll into this fancy dental clinic that I've passed by many times on Soi 69. It's got plush chairs, marble floors, jazz music playing softly in the background. Top-tier establishment, innit? No dodgy back-alley operations for bob the baller. No, no, no, no-way, mates. I'm feeling good. Feeling responsible that I'm going to get this sorted proper now.

 

Dentist lady has me in the chair, tilted so far back that the coins start falling out of my Gucci jeans, takes one look under the theatre lights and says, “Before we fill it, let’s do an X-ray to see how deep it is, ok khun bob?” "Fair enough" I say. "Why not? Up to you na khrub."

 

Then comes the bad news.

 

My ‘tiny’ cavity? Not tiny. Not even close. The thing had gone full minging rogue. As septic as a back soi street drain during monsoon season. The root was dead. Tooth was beyond saving. And now, unless I wanted a flesh-eating infection crawling into my jawbone, the whole thing had to come out today.

 

Before I can protest, she’s jabbing me with Novocaine like she’s trying to put down a suffering rhino. I lose count after the fifth injection. My tongue goes numb and hangs out of my mouth. My left ear starts tingling. I’m drooling like a Labrador in the hot sun.

 

Then she gets to work.

 

Now, I don’t know if you’ve ever had a tooth pulled in the hub of dentistry, but let me tell you, it is not a dignified experience. She’s yanking, twisting, grunting, the whole shebang. I think she may have even farted once. At one point, I think she even puts a knee on my chest for extra leverage. Then suddenly, I hear a loud, sickening crack as the tooth finally gives up the ghost and it's out.

 

And just like that, I’m down one molar.

 

After paying the 55,700 baht bill, I’m now outside the clinic, on the street, half my face paralyzed, drooling like a giraffe with heatstroke, a kilo of cotton stuffed in my cheek like a prize pig at a county fair, can't control my mouth, looking like I’ve had a stroke on half my face, absolutely starving because I haven’t eaten in six and a half hours. Next, I stumble into 7-Eleven, thinking I’ll grab a premium, triple ham and cheese toasty, only to remember the dentist’s parting words:

 

“No solid food for a week while it heals, neh khun bob.”

 

A week. Bloody hell!

 

So now, I’m on an all-liquid diet. Rice porridge, banana milkshakes, miso soup so thin you could drink it through a straw. The lady at the smoothie stand is now my new best friend and soon I'm to become king of the soy milk diet. Meanwhile, all I can think about is a nice plate of fish and chips with extra Lea & Perrins, something I won’t be chomping down anytime soon.

 

So, lads, that’s me for the next seven days, face half-dangling, living on pre-chewed baby food, and wondering how a simple filling turned into this big-bob mess.

 

Ever had your teeth betray you like this? Any tips on how to survive this hellish, soft-food prison?

 

Lost my appetite and a molar,

bob. 

Boring,

Let AI help you

[Thingamabob]

On 2/17/2025 at 4:56 PM, Ben Zioner said:

U got farts on your mind these days.. How is the sex?

Usually can't have one without the other....

[PeterA]

You should be a writer. Too funny!