Jump to content

Recommended Posts

Posted

Excerpts from the diary of a dog:

8:00 am. Oh boy, dog food --- my favorite 9:30 am. Oh boy, a car ride --- my favorite 9:40 am. Oh boy, a walk --- my favorite 10:30 am. Oh boy another car ride --- my favorite 11:30 am. Oh boy, more dog food --- my favorite 12:00 pm.

Oh boy the kids --- my favorite 1:00 pm. Oh boy, the yard --- my favorite 4:00 pm. Oh boy, the kids again --- my favorite 5:00 pm. Oh boy, dog food again

--

my favorite 5:30 pm. Oh boy, Mom --- my favorite 6:00 pm. Oh boy, playing ball --- my favorite 8:30 pm. Oh boy, sleeping in my master's bed --- my favorite

Excerpts from the diary of a cat:

Day 283 of my captivity. My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects. They dine lavishly on fresh meat while I'm forced to eat dry cereal. I'm sustained by the hope of escape and the mild satisfaction I derive from ruining a few pieces of furniture.

Tomorrow I may eat another house plant. I attempted to kill my captors this morning by weaving through their walking feet. Nearly succeeded.

Must try this strategy at the top of the stairs. Seeking to disgust and repulse these vile oppressors, I once again induced myself to vomit on their favorite chair. Must try this on their bed. To display my diabolical disposition, I decapitated a mouse and deposited the headless body on their kitchen floor. They only cooed and condescended, patting my head and calling me a "strong little kitty." Hmm---- not working according to plan.

During a

gathering of their accomplices, they placed me in solitary confinement. I overheard that my confinement was due to my power of allergies. Must learn what this means and how to use it to my advantage.

I am convinced the other household captives are flunkies, perhaps snitches.

The dog is routinely released and seems naively happy to return. He, is no doubt, a half-wit. The bird speaks with the humans regularly. Must be an informant. I am certain he reports my every move. Due to his current placement in the metal cage, his safety is assured, but I can wait. It is only a matter of time.

The day of the dog. The day of the cat. One content, the other conniving.

One

at peace, the other at war. One grateful, the other grumpy. Same house.

Same

circumstances. Same master. Yet two entirely different attitudes.

Attitude really does make a difference.

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now
  • Recently Browsing   0 members

    • No registered users viewing this page.



×
×
  • Create New...