A ###### Fine Explanation

[Chris Lawrence]

The wife came home early and found her husband in their bedroom

making love to a very attractive young woman.

And was somewhat upset. "You are a disrespectful pig!" she cried.

"How dare you do this to me -- a faithful wife, the mother of your children !

I'm leaving you. I want a divorce straight away !"

And the husband replied "Hang on just a minute love,

so at least I can tell you what happened."

"Fine, go ahead," she sobbed,

" but they'll be the last words you'll say to me!"

And the husband began --

"Well, I was getting into the car to drive home and

this young lady here asked me for a lift. She looked so down and out and defenseless

that I took pity on her and let her into the car.

I noticed that she was very thin, not well dressed and very dirty.

She told me that she hadn't eaten for three days !

So, in my compassion, I brought her home and warmed up

the enchiladas I made for you last night, the ones you wouldn't eat

because you're afraid you'll put on weight. The poor thing devoured them in moments.

Since she needed a good clean up I suggested a shower,

and while she was doing that I noticed her clothes were dirty and full of holes so I threw them away.

Then, as she needed clothes, I gave her the designer jeans that you have had for a few years,

but don't use because you say they are too tight.

I also gave her the underwear that was your anniversary present,

which you don't use because I don't have good taste.

I found the sexy blouse my sister gave you for Christmas that you don't use just to annoy her,

and I also donated those boots you bought at the expensive boutique

and don't use because someone at work has a pair the same."

The husband took a quick breath and continued -

"She was so grateful for my understanding and help and as I walked her to the door

she turned to me with tears in her eyes and said,

" Please do you have anything else that your wife doesn't use?"