Friends Or Acquaintances?

[snowflake]

Yes, I do know that I am not the most sociable person around here but how many friends do you have here in Thailand. Do not think about acquaintances as most of the people I know are...

How many friends do you think that you have?

and how many of your "friends" are acquaintances?

I think I have about 3 foreign friends here, the rest is just people that I know... I do have a few more Thai friends but lets not talk about them...

I was told by one of my best, if not the best friend I have here that I was just an acquaintance. It did not hurt but I started thinking, how many friends do I have after six years here???

(I am not out for many new friends because I am not lonely)

[Chris78]

I think you can pretty much have as many friends as you want if you're willing to put the time and motivation into it. If you're happy with only a few good friends then that's up to you.

Perhaps the longer you spend here, seeing people come and go so frequently, the less motivated you are to put effort into long term friendships. To form a friendship you have to make an emotional investment in another person. If the person is going to leave after a year or less then the investment you make may not be worth it.

That's what I reckon....Interesting topic, and a little out of the ordinary.

[markwhite]

Yes, I do know that I am not the most sociable person around here but how many friends do you have here in Thailand.

After two years, but only 6 months settled in one place, there is one farang I consider a good friend who's now on Koh Pha Ngan so we see each other occasionally. There's an old schoolfriend in Bangkok I kept in touch with when I first got here but that's fizzled out, and a couple who live on Koh Pha Ngan who I'd say are acquaintances.

This isn't new for me - in the UK I probably had 3 or 4 real close friends who I never fell out with and always enjoyed seeing, and loads of work colleagues, drinking buddies and friends of friends who I would knock about with, but without considering them to be true friends.

I suppose it's where you draw the line though. Some people might consider anyone they've spent more than 10 minutes with to be a friend. My true friends are those I'd drop everything to help if they needed me, and who would probably do the same if I needed them.

[Daylene]

I suppose it's where you draw the line though. Some people might consider anyone they've spent more than 10 minutes with to be a friend. My true friends are those I'd drop everything to help if they needed me, and who would probably do the same if I needed them.

True that. I'm glad I've got a couple of people here in NST that I can rely on and vice-versa. Coz a lot of the foreign people here come and go every year. And besides when you are in a foreign country and you meet people especially from your own country, you seem to have more heart in accepting them as friends and hang out with them often, eventhough you wouldn't be hangin out with them that much if you were in your own country.

[PhilHarries]

I suppose it's where you draw the line though. Some people might consider anyone they've spent more than 10 minutes with to be a friend. My true friends are those I'd drop everything to help if they needed me, and who would probably do the same if I needed them.

True that. I'm glad I've got a couple of people here in NST that I can rely on and vice-versa. Coz a lot of the foreign people here come and go every year. And besides when you are in a foreign country and you meet people especially from your own country, you seem to have more heart in accepting them as friends and hang out with them often, eventhough you wouldn't be hangin out with them that much if you were in your own country.

I think that just about sums it up. Apart from the few here on TV who are going for or have obtained PR status or better we are all just transient entities. Here today but a change in the rules or another coup and we'll be gone tomorrow. Despite the assertions of some we all tend to gravitate towards people of our own nationality or culture even on an occasional basis. We need to find a kindred spirit who sympathises with our grievances and can join in with our jokes.

Plus, of course, the whole world is becoming more fluid with respect to personal mobility A. few generations back in the UK it was not uncommon for a person to be born, live their whole life and die in the same village. People used to leave school, get a job and work their whole life for the same company often taking their holiday the same time each year at the same resort.

[sbk]

Interesting topic snowflake and one I find very applicable to myself. Of all the foreigners who lived on this island when I first came 19 years ago, only one is left besides myself. I think Chris put it well, after investing myself emotionally in people who came and then left, I am far more hesitant to put the emotional energy into developing friendships with people who will, given the odds, not be here in a few years.

So, loads of acquaintances, very few true friends, with the term friend being defined as someone I would feel able to pour my heart out to in times of trouble or who I would help or would help me when in need.

[cm-happy]

when it comes to friendship, QUALITY IS MORE IMPORTANT THAN QUANTITY!

[VTR1000]

when it comes to friendship, QUALITY IS MORE IMPORTANT THAN QUANTITY!

Yup, very true indeed!

[snowflake]

So VTR1000, what does it take to be your friend?

I am still heartbroken...

[South]

Snowflake - seems like you take too many things to seriously!

[snowflake]

South, I dont take to many things that seriously. But this one struck a nerve, since I have spent a few years with VTR. What did I do to get off his friend list??? Just want to know..

I AM USUALLY NOT SERIOUS

[South]

South, I dont take to many things that seriously. But this one struck a nerve, since I have spent a few years with VTR. What did I do to get off his friend list??? Just want to know..

I AM USUALLY NOT SERIOUS

Aquaintances will be there trying to bail you out. A real friend will be there, stood next to you saying, "We really <deleted> up this time." Tis why aquaintances are way better, true friends are few and far between.

Edited January 30, 2008 by South

[Seizhin]

I've been in Thailand for, nearly 5 years.

I've met a few acquaintance (excluding co-workers & Customers), but none can be considered friends.

It's not about sincerity or something, but rather, it's attitude/habit difference.

I dont go clubbing or stuff at night, and I'm starting to wonder if that's why I've been having a few sincere friends in Thailand.