Insult To Esarn Ladies

[chiang mai]

In all fairness, the OP's claims are not totally without justification. I spent time in the villages of Issan many years ago and the young people there learn from what they see. In one such village of about thirty houses, all were very poor except one twenty something year old who lived with her Thai husband in a brand new western style house - she drove a new pickup and always had money. Her farang (other) husband visited from Sweden four times a year and made plans for when he would retire - at such times the Thai husband would take a holiday. Everyone knew about the arrangement and when asked what they wanted to do in the future the young girls would point to the house I say, I want a farang too. Walk through the market in Buriram and listen to all the old women sellers state loudly how so and so must have been to Pattaya to find herself a farang and soon she'll have a house.

Not right but not all wrong, it's the way it is in the villages and with little education to reinforce morals, who can say otherwise.

[NovaBlue05]

Applying our western morals and perspectives to our expectations of those raised in the Issan culture is sometimes a bit risky

[Thaicoon]

In all fairness, the OP's claims are not totally without justification. I spent time in the villages of Issan many years ago and the young people there learn from what they see. In one such village of about thirty houses, all were very poor except one twenty something year old who lived with her Thai husband in a brand new western style house - she drove a new pickup and always had money. Her farang (other) husband visited from Sweden four times a year and made plans for when he would retire - at such times the Thai husband would take a holiday. Everyone knew about the arrangement and when asked what they wanted to do in the future the young girls would point to the house I say, I want a farang too. Walk through the market in Buriram and listen to all the old women sellers state loudly how so and so must have been to Pattaya to find herself a farang and soon she'll have a house.

Not right but not all wrong, it's the way it is in the villages and with little education to reinforce morals, who can say otherwise.

Quite true, but just a percentage, there are Two Girls in Wifes village known for there scams they have even told me a few tales, the one got married to a Belgium guy, took him for a ride, he lost everything, i actually told him beware, also i told him she had 2 thai boyfriends on the go, he took the huff and tried to do a dirty trick on me, ending up me whacking him over the head with a bamboo table, we fell out, the other girl, 34 years old, she met a ferang in Pattaya, brought him up to the village, he built her a shop and bungalow, then she said goodbye he lost eerything, the best with this girl, she has done the same thing, moved another ferang in, met in Pattaya, he has bought her a new 4x4, only known each other 3 months, there is another chap living in the Bungalow, a thai who she has told the ferang that it is her brother, it's her Thai Boyfriend, all living togeather, the trouble is you cannot warn these guys, tried this before and come unstuck, these two were both in there 60s retired and come to Thailand for the first time.

I have to point out that these Two girls have worked the Bars for a number of years, so know every scam in the book, this is the sort that give Esarn girls a bad name and reputation, even some of the villagers are disgusted, i know the wifes family are.

My 16 year old Daughter arrives in Thailand on Monday, with her 17 year old ferang Boyfriend, my Daughter is Thai, who has lived in the UK since the age of 6 and go's to private school, i know for sure some people will think the same of her, found a ferang in Bangkok or Pattaya, that is the way it is with some people, sad.

[dkstoney]

Who cares what he thinks? Me thinks I couldn't care less.

[jonniebkk]

From reading his admittedly one-sided account, it seems to me that those two were meant for each other. I don't understand why they didn't have a long and happy relationship

[grapetable]

There are some hard hearts on this forum and fortunately some softer ones.............he is angry and speaks as such, his real ire is for her not Essan girls........he acknowledges one is his best friend. His problem, if we can call it that, was to have rose-coloured glasses and didnt 'see' until it was too late..........fear only conquers love (iin most cases anyway). How many of 'you' thought rationally, logically and in a calculated clinical manner when in-love? Few Im sure.

He is in a hard and difficult place..........some compassion please............you might be next!

[jonniebkk]

There are some hard hearts on this forum...he is in a hard and difficult place..........some compassion please............you might be next!

First the op needs to have some respect for himself...the "love of his life" kicks him around repeatedly...treating him worse than a soi dog and all he can keep saying is things to the affect of "I love her forever no matter how she treats me."

This is someone (a grown man no less) we are supposed to feel sorry for?

[Jeff1]

Interesting. The first and in many cases, sole opinion of many posters is that this guy is a looser who had it coming. My natural instinct here would be to post just the opposite;

That **** is evil and I hope her house burns down.

Different storkes, different folks. Some of us came to Thailand in our 50's, shunned the naughty nightlife scene and headed straight for the 'real Thailand' where we avoided scum like this and had time to wise up. Some of us came to Thailand in our 30's and headed straight for Soi 4 to get wasted and pick up a few girls. The guys in the later category are naturaly more likely to get stung by a *** like this and the warning signs such as *tatoos, good pool player, dripping in gold* are only evident to those of us who know the score with this place and have been here a while.

So this guy didnt know the score. That dosent make him a looser. An idiot. A gullible numpty who asked for it. It just makes him newbie who didnt know any better. With this, we can only guess.

With her, she is a scum bag evil *** who played him from the start and rinsed him for all he was worth, before threataning to have him murdered. Of this, we are sure.

So lets be clear on something here. This guy seems like a nice enough fella. The girl is an evil ***

One thing that always bothers me about many of my fellow ex-pats...... The satisfaction that many seasoned long timers have when hearing storys like this. There is a massive case of 'son nam naa' amongst many ferang that have been here a while, when learning of some poor guy who got rinsed by a whore. Its almost like "Ha, I have been here ages. I know better than you. You silly fool - your just a newbie ferang".

I have never been stung, ripped off or rinsed by any Thai - male or female. It will never happen. But when i hear of it happening to some guy who just stepped off the plane, my gut reaction, as aposed to many of you, is 'poor bloke, what a shame. Evil ****, hope she rots'.

Dosed.

Something tells me you maybe the loser in question, you are venomous enough to be the guy for sure.

I usually have sympathy for guys who get screwed over. I however have absolutely no pity for a nobber who puts others on websites and viciously attacks their families. The guy talks about Karma etc. <deleted> hypocrite.

Nope. Its not me. I have been posting on Thai Visa for close to 5 years. I have assumed this new user name as i wanted to post on the health forum about a mild case of nob rot that I have. I cant remember my sodding password for my 'other' account and havent been arsed to request a new password here.

I guess I am venomous with my view on this. It riles me. It pisses me off. One of the contibuting reasons why i feel so riled about this kind of thing owes to the typical responses that guys like this recieve.... 'He had it coming'.... 'Left his brain at the airport'.... 'Should have known better'. Whenever I read or hear a story such as this, it always seems to be the poor sods fault. Conversley, the girl who destroys the life of whichever guy in question, is a harmless little isarn chick who is simply looking out for her fammily.

Cant we call a spade a spade here? She took him to the cleaners. She rinsed him blind. When she sensed the money was running out and there was nothing else to blag, she insisted that the guy went back home to work in the states, and send money back to her monthly. When he refused, she closed the whole thing off and started screaming at him at every given chance. When he went back to the village to check out the house, she told him she would kill him if he didnt leave the village.

He goes on to say that he was followed out of the village by a guy on a bike, who he assumed was her brother. Brother? Boyfriend, more likely.

Sure, he could have been a heck of a lot sharper. I see nothing wrong in setteling down with a bar girl - providing you give it years before you so much as even hint at building houses, marraige, retiring etc. Stepping off the plane and rushing into something like that with a bar girl is, as i said, not too sharp. But he did nothing wrong in doing so - thats my point. On paper at least, it was a nice thing the guy did. He built her a house. He tried to provide a future for her. He wanted to take care of her. However off the ball the guy might have been, he was just trying to be nice. She, on the other hand, was an out and out evil bitch.

Obviously, im assuming his account is true here.

Its strange actualy that i do feel so strongly about this kind of thing. As i have said before, genuinely i have never even come close to getting stung in Thailand. This shouldnt bother me so much. There is just something about it that irks me. I have seen it so many times and it just.... irks me. Dont get me wrong, there are plenty of negatives to Thailand that i accept - there is always a compromise, wherever you choose to live. I accept the good and bad in Thailand and i feel that the good greatly outweighs the bad. I shrug stuff off. But this - well, its just my pet hate, thats all.

I should point out that while i feel this guy deserves sympathy and not ridicule, i think he does read as a little.... twisted. The notion that 99.999% of Isarn women are evil scammers and especialy the 'black magic' thing creeped me out. Thats just plain strange.

Im not saying i am warmed to this guy - jesus he is not even the kind of guy i would want to have a beer with - im just saying, you know.... do we have to write guys like this off as complete tossers, without even commenting on the fact that the woman is a cheap evil swine?

Sorry old, wise, hands. I agree have to agree with Dosed here.

[blue eyes]

He allowed himself to be suckered in by her, in his own words.This story could be about anyone and anything.If you do not keep your wits about you, you will be taken advantage of.Always remember that someone will always want to take from you, what you have.Always THINK is this best for me?If not walk, no RUN away!!!!!!!!I hope he moves on with his life in a positive way.

[Jamie]

"I was in love the second day. So we made plans." How many times did this guy get kicked in the gonads (metaphorically speaking of course) before he learned? Yet he seems to be quite the expert on Isaan ladies.

[LucMee]

It always pains me to read these stories by these poor schmucks who fly in with dreams and fantasies that are unreasonable to begin with. And while I try not to generalize... It seems like the vast majority of these guys get bit hard and deep enough very early in these "relationships" that they ought to be awakened to the realities of the situation way, way before they loose their shirts.

As usual... The OP makes lots of statements that indicate that he's a bit simpleminded from the git go... It sounds like girlfriend tried to keep him at arms length early on and that he just kept charging ahead... I expect that she ultimately figured... "What the heck?... I might as well get what he seems so determined to give away before someone else does."

"

Then he takes abuse and keeps crawling on his belly... He wasn't opportunity knocking.... He was kicking the door in! Reads to me like she sure gave him ample opportunity to to skedaddle well before he got to the point of transferring money and shipping goods. It seems like he was running away from something in the states...

I've known lots and lots of Issan women and almost married one before I ended up with a Chaing Mai girl... In Fact... My Issan lady couldn't have kids and insisted that I marry the younger lady... Then she stayed on as my mia noi for over seven years... Real Monster ...Huh?

Granted... There are some sly ones... and even more opportunistic ones... But I can't say that I've run into the "Evil Witches" that this guy is yowping about.

When I lived in BKK... I fixed up lots of guys w/ B/G's ... A few of those hook ups are going on 20 years... With Issan girls no less!

Over the years... My standard advice to friends who've gotten divorced and wanted to run over and get themselves a sweet little thing has been...

"If you think with the little head... Any woman anywhere is capable of burning you to the ground."

And before anyone gets any idea that it's been all roses and sunshine from my little Chaing Mai flower... After 22 years together and over 10 years in the states... She's assimilated into just as big of a pain in the ass as any of her american or european sisters... She's just aging a little better.

Edited March 17, 2008 by LucMee

[Jeff1]

Good post LucMee. I also agree. In the PC world he would be called... special.

[clausewitz]

The thing is if he had fallen for a tattooed prostitute anywhere in the world the same thing is likley to happen. However, for whatever reason, some farang seem to think Thai whores aren't really whores: they then figure they can be the knight in shining armour, save the poor damsel and win her eternal love.

Anyway the more stories like this that are put on the web the more men that will think twice before losing their life savings.

[micksterbs]

The thing is if he had fallen for a tattooed prostitute anywhere in the world the same thing is likley to happen. However, for whatever reason, some farang seem to think Thai whores aren't really whores: they then figure they can be the knight in shining armour, save the poor damsel and win her eternal love.

Anyway the more stories like this that are put on the web the more men that will think twice before losing their life savings.

I wouldn't hold your breath, clausewitz. There seems to be a plentiful supply of chaps like this. Some people are just born this way; they practically have VICTIM tattooed on their forehead. No, I'm not hard-hearted but just read through the story again, slowly. He just seemed to throw all caution to the winds along with his money. As a few posters have mentioned, he seemed to be pretty keen to get away from his life back home. Perhaps there's another "evil witch" there, 'eh?

[Gary A]

The worst part is if you try to tell one of these idiots to be careful, you will get the "My girl is different comment". They don't want to hear that they COULD be making a mistake.

[sickwaterbuffalo2]

hi there buriram expats ! i found that website from that american guy a while ago via google ! i myself married a lady from burriram last july ! ok i agree some of you might feel insulted by what he says about isaan ladys and its al to easy to say that every lady from isaan is no good ! i remember last summer after my wedding i had a drink with my wife in the bamboo bar and i still was wearing my wedding bands around my wrists when i started talking to some expats and they realy had a laugh at me when i told them that i didnt meet my wife in a bar somewhere in thailand ! most of them met theirs in a bar ! why are there so many storys on the net of so many farangs being ripped of by there isaan girls ! like driving with bulldozers trough the houses they just made after finding out she had a thai boyfriend on the side ! or when i go to an internet cafe in buriram i see many isaan ladys chatting with 5 farangs at a time on msn and i think the farangs on msn dont no about one and other and some of them are sending money to her ! or as my dutch expat friend told jokingly do you see al the nice houses being build here in buriram the girls are doing good bussines in the bars ! so barlady or not where did you guys meet your lady anyway ? because theres no such thing as a free lunch

[jonniebkk]

The thing is if he had fallen for a tattooed prostitute anywhere in the world the same thing is likley to happen. However, for whatever reason, some farang seem to think Thai whores aren't really whores: they then figure they can be the knight in shining armour, save the poor damsel and win her eternal love.

There seems to be a plentiful supply of chaps like this. Some people are just born this way; they practically have VICTIM tattooed on their forehead. He just seemed to throw all caution to the winds along with his money. As a few posters have mentioned, he seemed to be pretty keen to get away from his life back home.

Yes, the guy had a very serious case of White Night Syndrome...save the girl from her life of prostitution and degradation.

Very well put...I think he said he was on the rebound from a divorce in the States. Didn't sound like he had much...except for his musical instruments. I don't know what goes though these guy's heads (the big one)...how did he expect to support himself and his new family (let alone build a new house he kept writing about).

Edited March 18, 2008 by jonniebkk

[rick75]

Firstly i would like to say i am new here and what a great site you guys have, I need a little advice....I meet a girl in Bangkok a couple of months ago I am a foreign guy and meet this girl in a hotel i stayed at in Klongsan in bangkok, not a tourist area or hotel, so i feel pretty safe in the fact she is Ok, anyways ask her out to dinner and ended up spending a fair bit of time with her in the last few days before i left Bangkok, I am going back in the next couple of months and i suggested going up country to her home in Rattanaburi, I want to get out and see the real Thailand. So i have a few questions, I ask her if it is ok for us to stay at guest house etc, just because my Thai is not that great and it would make it a lot easier if I am not around her family the whole time, is this a rude question to ask? or should i stay with the family, are there actually any guest houses in rattanaburi and do you guys have any pointers on the do's and don'ts in relation to good manners around the family any help would be much appreciated. cheers Rick

[JMS]

hi there buriram expats ! i found that website from that american guy a while ago via google ! i myself married a lady from burriram last july ! ok i agree some of you might feel insulted by what he says about isaan ladys and its al to easy to say that every lady from isaan is no good ! i remember last summer after my wedding i had a drink with my wife in the bamboo bar and i still was wearing my wedding bands around my wrists when i started talking to some expats and they realy had a laugh at me when i told them that i didnt meet my wife in a bar somewhere in thailand ! most of them met theirs in a bar ! why are there so many storys on the net of so many farangs being ripped of by there isaan girls ! like driving with bulldozers trough the houses they just made after finding out she had a thai boyfriend on the side ! or when i go to an internet cafe in buriram i see many isaan ladys chatting with 5 farangs at a time on msn and i think the farangs on msn dont no about one and other and some of them are sending money to her ! or as my dutch expat friend told jokingly do you see al the nice houses being build here in buriram the girls are doing good bussines in the bars ! so barlady or not where did you guys meet your lady anyway ? because theres no such thing as a free lunch

I agree there is no free ride. Everybody has to pay if she is a bar girl or not. Why farangs get uptight about it I do not understand, you have old men with younger ladies so just open up your wallet that is what you are paying for.

[Gary74]

There are ruthless, money-grabbing opportunists no matter where you look. Single male Farang who go to hooker bars in Bangkok and Pattaya tend to come into contact with it more than most people as they are the more lucrative targets. It certainly is not unique to Isan or anywhere else.

Many men fall victim in this way because they have no idea about Thai culture. It's all about survival here and getting a farang husband will usually guarantee a financially secure future. Thais call it "Finding money', and opening your legs for relatively large amounts of the stuff is quite acceptable for some and seen as the ultimate sacrifice by their family.

I can understand this guy's attitude because he has been hurt, big time, and the only people from this area he has had contact with have been involved in ripping him off. The guy is obviously naive and not so bright to allow his balls to do the thinking for him in that situation. In Thailand, a heavily tattooed girl in a bar is not going to be a librarian or a nurse.

I live in a small farming village in the north and I know of a number of 'ladies' who are getting monthly payments from many guys. One is driving around in a large new car, bought with the money she collects from seven foreign men, all back in their countries, working hard to send money back to 'their woman' in Thailand who they probably think is pining for their return to live happily ever after. The community, while generally looking down on her, think the guys involved are dam_n fools for being taken this way, but they consider all farang to be rich and able to afford it anyway. I know of girls who know they have HIV but still have unprotected sex with guys because they get more money for it that way. I'm sure the majority of bar girls are nice people, but many are extremely selfish, dishonest, scheming opportunists who will stop at nothing to get whatever is free for the stealing.

That said, they are few and far between. The vast majority of women anywhere in Thailand are modest, honest, moral people.

Those foreigners who have come here and found a bar girl to marry who is genuine and sincere are lucky, but we tend not to hear about them because there’s nothing to report. I know so many who have told me of their personal bad experiences because they come from a culture where 'I love you' means something quite different from the Thai interpretation.

The guys naivety is what got him to where he is now. Perhaps he will have learned some valuable lessons about the world he lives in.

I know what you're saying. Over the years I seen and heard some sad and tragic stories. But I always used my common senses and I never had any problems. I find Thai people in general to be the nicest people in the world but less so in tourist areas such as BKK, Phuket, Pattaya, Samui, etc.

Thailand attracts world's loneliest men and unfortunatelly, it clouds their judgement when it comes to common senses regarding relationships and business end of prostitution. Most marriages between Thais and farangs are between bar girls and their customers. I seen some marriages worked out very well and some turned tragic. Usually farang ending up with less money and property and occationally, their lives.

[Dave the Dude]

Thailand attracts world's loneliest men and unfortunately, it clouds their judgment when it comes to common senses regarding relationships and business end of prostitution.

Hi Gary

I agree with the above, but I also believe there are some incredibly gullible, stupid people 'out there' who sometimes deserve what the get (or lose).

Dave

[siamamerican]

This guy got screwed. Sure, it is a sad story and predictable, but some aren't capable of making the right choices when sex and love is involved. Reminding him of his deficiencies is not what he was hoping for when he made this post. He is angry and made some awful generalizations about Isaan women, but he is more than a little confused.

He needs to get out of LOS and start over in his home country. By his own admission, he is destitute and he isn't going to find what he wants until he gets his finances and sanity back. The chances of him finding the girl of his dreams is slim to none in LOS.

Until he takes control of his life, he isn't going to be successful in life. He has my sympathy, but he needs to find a purpose in life and work at making his dreams a reality. Flying to LOS and finding easy love is not the answer.

[stgrhe]

Most marriages between Thais and farangs are between bar girls and their customers.

Are you sure about that? I know quiet a few farangs who are married to a Thai, both here in Thailand and back in Sweden, and none of them are ex BG. Most of these ladies I know have in fact an academical education ranging from Bachelors to Post Graduates. So you would have to excuse me but I do not agree with that statement of yours.

Goran

[Mac0779]

Let's face it sh*t happens, this farang was a victem as soon as he got on the plane in the USA, the same would have happend if he had landed in the Phillipens, Japan, or the Outer Hebridies.

He must have had his commen sence gland removed at birth!

These girls work for a living, to make money, from stupid farangs, she was only doing what any girl/woman in that situation would do ie. fleece the farang and dump them.

I would say all due respect to the Issan girl for getting the target before a girl from Chang Mai or any outher part of the world!

All i can say to him is live with your mistake, and avoid doing the same again.

[MSingh]

The Guy gets no sympathy from me i'm afraid & at a guess, i'd say he has some severe mental issues also.

I think that's evident in the first 2 Paragraphs that he wrote.

Why oh why do people come to this country & think they are any different to anyone else IE Fall in Love with a Hooker & believe, really honestly believe, that they are " The one " & that the Hooker all of a sudden turns into Girlfriend material as if by magic ??

One thing that i will never understand is that for the vast majority of Farang Men would never even consider getting into anything even reminiscent of a Relationship with a Hooker in their Country of origin, so why on Earth do they when they come to Thailand, myself included ??

It's absolute madness & is asking for trouble..

Throw that in with 2 different Cultures that are lihht years apart & you have a recipe for absolute disaster & certainly not a basis for a relationship or Marraige, at least a happy one..

& no one should be offended by what that Guy wrote on that Website, anyone who makes a generalisation on that scale ( 99.999% like he said ) isn't worth taking seriously in my opinion..

Edited April 12, 2008 by MSingh

[siamamerican]

Where do all these men live that have been ripped off by Thai women? I’ve never met a person that had lost a substantial amount of cash. The fact that it is extremely difficult to own Thai assets protects most from losing too much. You can lose the house and Thai bank accounts, but your assets are outside of Thailand and safe.

My wife is becoming a US citizen next month, and half my assets are hers. Now, that is risky, but she is worth it. I assume those that lost their homes in Thailand new the risks they were taking and are just as upset as when they put it all on black and ball lands on red.

The odds of success for a lonely, newly divorced, financially challenged farang, who covets a young hot Thai wife aren’t so good.

[rgs2001uk]

Where do all these men live that have been ripped off by Thai women? I've never met a person that had lost a substantial amount of cash. The fact that it is extremely difficult to own Thai assets protects most from losing too much. You can lose the house and Thai bank accounts, but your assets are outside of Thailand and safe.

My wife is becoming a US citizen next month, and half my assets are hers. Now, that is risky, but she is worth it. I assume those that lost their homes in Thailand new the risks they were taking and are just as upset as when they put it all on black and ball lands on red.

The odds of success for a lonely, newly divorced, financially challenged farang, who covets a young hot Thai wife aren't so good.

my what a quaint notion, applying logic to illogical people.

agree 100% with your final statement, however its usually those who can least afford it, either financially or emotionally who get ripped off, such is their desperation to cling to the belief that their girl is indeed different.

as to where these losers live, they usually live overseas in some crap location where they cant get a woman, they holiday in thailand maybe twice a year for about 2 weeks at a time where they have to cram 6 months of living into 2 weeks before going back to their crap lives, they then fill in their time by crossing days off on a calendar and wishing their lives away to be back in thailand.

back where they live they invent stories to tell their friends, such as i met her in a library, where the <deleted> is there a library in pattaya?

never mind, jumbo jets full of them arriving every hour.

[siamamerican]

The Guy gets no sympathy from me i'm afraid & at a guess, i'd say he has some severe mental issues also.

Most would agree with the mental issues. You don't feel for those that are mentally challenged?

What I found interesting was that he might not of seen the risks. LOS attractsd his type and they are much more likely to lose in their home countries as well as LOS.

[siamamerican]

my what a quaint notion, applying logic to illogical people.

agree 100% with your final statement, however its usually those who can least afford it, either financially or emotionally who get ripped off, such is their desperation to cling to the belief that their girl is indeed different.

as to where these losers live, they usually live overseas in some crap location where they cant get a woman, they holiday in thailand maybe twice a year for about 2 weeks at a time where they have to cram 6 months of living into 2 weeks before going back to their crap lives, they then fill in their time by crossing days off on a calendar and wishing their lives away to be back in thailand.

back where they live they invent stories to tell their friends, such as i met her in a library, where the <deleted> is there a library in pattaya?

never mind, jumbo jets full of them arriving every hour.

I don't think all these people are "losers". Some might actually be logical in every aspect of their lifes, except realtiponships. I've always been able to date women and haven't had any realtionship disasters. Sure, I've been dumped and one of a college girlfriend slept around ( so did I) but the relationship opportunities have always been there. Some people have a more difficult time finding love and sexx.

Most of the time it all ends well for theose jumbo jets full of needy men and the BGs waiting to take their money. The fact that they keep coming says it all.

Edited April 12, 2008 by siamamerican

[rgs2001uk]

siamamerican,

heres a snippet copied from another post elsewhere.

It’s just that I’ll have put everything into moving to Thailand

any comment by me would of course be superfluous.