"1m Baht" Says Mama

[LisuLover]

I know Sin Sot is much discussed elsewhere, but I cannot find it here despite looking back a year or more. I am seeing a wonderful hill tribe woman, who is mid 20's, never married, no children, younger siblings, father lives away from home. I am British, 20 yrs older and solvent, but no millionaire. Marriage is being suggested and I wonder if anyone has a feel for local bride price. Any recent precedent? The first 'punt' from Mama is 7 figures!!

Also, how do I negotiate with Mama, she doesnt speak Thai, so I will need to find someone who speaks mountain language and English?

[britmaveric]

Run for the hills!!!! (dont stop either)

[Gary74]

I know Sin Sot is much discussed elsewhere, but I cannot find it here despite looking back a year or more. I am seeing a wonderful hill tribe woman, who is mid 20's, never married, no children, younger siblings, father lives away from home. I am British, 20 yrs older and solvent, but no millionaire. Marriage is being suggested and I wonder if anyone has a feel for local bride price. Any recent precedent? The first 'punt' from Mama is 7 figures!!

Also, how do I negotiate with Mama, she doesnt speak Thai, so I will need to find someone who speaks mountain language and English?

Thais always think that all farangs are rich and always try to ask rediculous amounts. Don't let her mama take adventage of you. 50K-100K is more then enough. Why do you want to marry a older women anyway?

[goski]

Nah, I think most Thais on for instance Jedyod Rd. think the opposite and even though some would believe that westerners are richer EVERYBODY don't ALWAYS think like that.

I won't throw myself in the sinsod discussion but forget about the price until you have discussed what percent of the money is actually given away and not for show.

[johnh101]

Tell the old chancer to foxtrot oscar.

[khunandy]

I know Sin Sot is much discussed elsewhere, but I cannot find it here despite looking back a year or more. I am seeing a wonderful hill tribe woman, who is mid 20's, never married, no children, younger siblings, father lives away from home. I am British, 20 yrs older and solvent, but no millionaire. Marriage is being suggested and I wonder if anyone has a feel for local bride price. Any recent precedent? The first 'punt' from Mama is 7 figures!!

Also, how do I negotiate with Mama, she doesnt speak Thai, so I will need to find someone who speaks mountain language and English?

Don't be negotiating with mama at all, talk about it with your GF and let her do the talking with mama. I have nothing against sin sot at all but alarm bells would ring immedietly if a future mother in law started that sort of caper.

Treat these sin sot talks as an indication of how your marriage will be, to quote seven figures off the bat indicates to me that she has no respect for you from the get go. Mid twenties daughter with a chance to marry a young solvent farang....she should be paying you!!!

Good luck and eyes open young fella

Andy

[lukamar]

I'll go along with 50-100 as well. if she is uneducated but gorgeous the low end. if she's well educated and gorgeous with university degree decent well paying job and speaks English well the top end. If she is a virgin maybe a bit more because of her great moral upbringing and values.

I didn't pay a dowry exactly but Pa ended up with our car somehow,LOL (we were moving back to canada anyway) maybe worth 120,000 max and i bought Ma some gold about 10,000. I might add Pa is well connected with the Military (He's retired) and the police in Phayao province and that's a definite plus and my wife is very well educated and worked in the Faculty of Medicine at Chiang Mai University Hospital.

For a cool million you may be able to wed Thaksin's daughter or some well healed society type with real strong family connections to the government or Military.

They will get the million out of you eventually so don't make a huge down payment up front.

Did you discuss the costs of the wedding parties..

[Theyreallrubbish]

I know Sin Sot is much discussed elsewhere, but I cannot find it here despite looking back a year or more. I am seeing a wonderful hill tribe woman, who is mid 20's, never married, no children, younger siblings, father lives away from home. I am British, 20 yrs older and solvent, but no millionaire. Marriage is being suggested and I wonder if anyone has a feel for local bride price. Any recent precedent? The first 'punt' from Mama is 7 figures!!

Also, how do I negotiate with Mama, she doesnt speak Thai, so I will need to find someone who speaks mountain language and English?

I agree with all the others. Mid 20s hilltribe woman is already worth very little in the local Thai market. She'd be looking at a nominal payment only if she could even find a local husband.

The fact that she's asking such a totally ridiculous amount shows you are not being viewed as her daughter's husband that is joining the family but as a lottery ticket that she wants to cash in straight away before its lost. The pressure for money is only going to end when you leave or she leaves her family. There is not going to be a good ending to this.

Bad news for you I'm afraid and I'm sure you don't want to hear this, but in Asia you are marrying the family and this is a family you are taking a huge burden on board by marrying into.

My advice, again which you don't want to hear, is to realise that however wonderful your tilac might be she's unmarryable by you because of her family. Move on and at least you'll only have regrets rather than regrets AND a huge loss of money and a few wasted years of stress and hassle.

[BigSnake]

Seek a little help from a Thai(wise/good) friend, however from the lady that you discribe that you wish to marry, my humble opinion One Million baht is a Bargain.

[lukamar]

One thing I forgot to ask. Is she a Thai citizen? If not you may be in for a huge can of worms.

[soap]

One thing I forgot to ask. Is she a Thai citizen? If not you may be in for a huge can of worms.

100% correct lukamar

[ray23]

Why buy when rent is so cheap

[Pushit]

I know Sin Sot is much discussed elsewhere, but I cannot find it here despite looking back a year or more. I am seeing a wonderful hill tribe woman, who is mid 20's, never married, no children, younger siblings, father lives away from home. I am British, 20 yrs older and solvent, but no millionaire. Marriage is being suggested and I wonder if anyone has a feel for local bride price. Any recent precedent? The first 'punt' from Mama is 7 figures!!

Also, how do I negotiate with Mama, she doesnt speak Thai, so I will need to find someone who speaks mountain language and English?

Where do you intend to take this lady? have you checked if your home country will issue a visa for a hill tribe person?

[LaoPo]

Run for the hills!!!! (dont stop either)

But the OP says she's from a hill tribe, Brit...he'd better run to Bangkok.....

LaoPo

[lukamar]

We have been having a bit of fun at the OPs expense but there is a bit of truth in everyone's reply. Getting married to a Thai is definitely different than getting married to someone in our culture and can have some pitfalls if you are not ready for them.

I must admit i was lucky and my wife is her own person and although family oriented very seldom agrees to send them any money unless it's an emergency but her family is also not poor so that probably has a big bearing on it too. She paid for her own university along with scholarships so they can't hold that over her.

Just look into everything and put all your concerns on the table before you get married. If you don't want to send money every month lay it out right at the start - No money ever or you will only pay medical expensed up to X amount. Tell them you are not planning on building a house for them to move into, things like that. When we moved back to Canada my wife's parents moved into our house at our request, it's worked out well they even remodeled the bathroom and the front yard, at their cost.. The downside is we probably will not throw them out when we return but we know our stuff is safe in "our" bedroom which is locked...LOL

Think things through and make sure you look at it as a business arrangement rather than a heavenly love story, her family are looking at it that way.

[ajarnmark]

I mentioned in another post, and now mentioning again. I am 32, my gf is 21. She will graduate from a very renowned university soon. Her parents dont want a single baht, as long as her daughter is happy with me. We will live abroad, as I have already moved out of Thailand. I will give some money as show money but anyway, I will get it back much more than what I will give (my honey). She is fluent in English and an intelligent Thai-Chinese girl belong to a business family in Bangkok. I am her first bf and she is still virgin (I respect her decision a lot). Besides I am not a white guy (farang), but still considered as rich according to Thai standards.

As for OP, I just wonder why you are going to pay this much, as other posters say, run and dont look back etc. Listen to them and decide what your heart says. Nothing is more important than your own happiness, so if you are happy with the arrangement, I would say, go get it brother.

[LisuLover]

Well that's unwrapped the cotton wool I feel as though I have just spent an hour on one of those rickety little green buses in Bangkok. By the way, I said I was 20 yrs older, not younger And yes, she has a Thai passport. And no, we havent discussed the wedding party yet.

My feeling is that Mama is dominent and my gf is naive. I guess they are a family of jobing farm labourers, trying to make good. I went into their neighbour's timber and reed house/hut one night to find the family sitting on the earthen floor below a single smoke blackened lightbulb. A small fire filled the thatched roof with smoke. There was no chimney. It was stone age.

For me the attraction is in the nature of the girl. Yes she is 7 or 8 out of 10 attractive, but she also has a real enthusiasm for life and an innocence that would be hard to find in a city girl. The pleasure of seeing her face as she first set eyes on the Taj Mahal, the Eiffel Tower or Selfridges Department Store would be huge for me. She says that for mountain people, husband comes first, family comes second.

I welcome your views. I am preparing myself for another ride on the rickety green Bangkok bus.

[khunandy]

Well that's unwrapped the cotton wool I feel as though I have just spent an hour on one of those rickety little green buses in Bangkok. By the way, I said I was 20 yrs older, not younger And yes, she has a Thai passport. And no, we havent discussed the wedding party yet.

My feeling is that Mama is dominent and my gf is naive. I guess they are a family of jobing farm labourers, trying to make good. I went into their neighbour's timber and reed house/hut one night to find the family sitting on the earthen floor below a single smoke blackened lightbulb. A small fire filled the thatched roof with smoke. There was no chimney. It was stone age.

For me the attraction is in the nature of the girl. Yes she is 7 or 8 out of 10 attractive, but she also has a real enthusiasm for life and an innocence that would be hard to find in a city girl. The pleasure of seeing her face as she first set eyes on the Taj Mahal, the Eiffel Tower or Selfridges Department Store would be huge for me. She says that for mountain people, husband comes first, family comes second.

I welcome your views. I am preparing myself for another ride on the rickety green Bangkok bus.

Mate, you are young and life is ahead of you...why not just go for it and let the cards fall where they may, as long as you keep the old girl in check you might be in for the adventure of a lifetime.

Good luck

[lukamar]

My feeling is that Mama is dominent and my gf is naive.

For me the attraction is in the nature of the girl.

She says that for mountain people, husband comes first, family comes second.

I think you have pegged it that Ma is dominant, it's the case with all Thai families I think. My mother in law is a sweetheart but rules her kids like she's royalty. That's just the way it is in the North and northeast from what i see it's part of the culture. I can see where you find the attraction with an unspoiled beauty not having been tainted by the outside society, it's something primal but you also have to realize that that will change and so will she once she gets out of that environment. As long as you are ready to accept that change it's fine.

I have to say that my wife thinks i come first but family is a close second. I also said my wife had been on her own for a long time and was quite modern in her thinking when i met her otherwise i think that would be totally different. Still coming up to songkran She has told me not to give her the phone if any of them call you you can take out of that what you want.

You didn't say if you planned on staying in Thailand or return home once you were married. If you bought some property (or property they had) and built a simple small Thai house, put in you wife's name, you could allow your MiL to live there. You guys would still have the money and title but she would have the status of having a new house. Sometime it's not always as it seems in the LOS. Or by them an old truck or car that's status too. Face is everything.

[jfchandler]

1m baht sin sod for a hill tribe girl is CRAZY!!!!!!

Love is a fine thing. But the Mom is totally out of her mind.

Go down that road, and you'll get what you deserve.

[svenivan]

Interesting question!

As someone already said before, where are you going to live? In her village, somewhere else in Thailand or in England?

That is quite important.

And how long have you known this wonderful girl? Have you been travelling around with her? She has a Thai pasport, have you been abroad with her or has someone else been abroad with her?

Is she naive only when it comes to this question about sin sot or is she a naive girl?

I think you should talk to her and find out how she is thinking about this. If she thinks it should be 1 mill then .... hmm...

If not, maybe she is the one that can do the negotiations with the MIL.

I popped the question to my MIL before our wedding and she said, "up to you!" and she really ment it. And I talked to my wife and we found out a sum that we thought would make everyone happy. Then I gave my wife the money and said, " this is for our wedding, whatever you want to spend on clothes, smink, photos, food and booze is up to you, the rest is going to your mother!".

We had a good wedding but quite simple, no extras, quite low budget. My wife could not say that I was "kenyo" because she had free hands to plan it. In the end my MIL got more than 90% of the money I gave to my wife. Everyone happy!

By the way, I live 700 km from my wifes homevillage, that is not a bad idea!

I wish you all the best !