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Posted

What is wrong with crying?? It's natural it even helps your body get rid of toxins and it also helps you out in the long run reduced stress levels

when i was with my wife last in the hotel we were staying at in bangkok i saw her crying i couldn't help it either it's natural then we went to don muang so i could wait with her for her flight then mine afterwards we cried a little bit at the airport

Posted

Just in addition.

I was talking to a taxi driver last time in LOS. He told me about a falang he knew for years. This taxi driver's English was good. He said this falang guy used to visit LOS regular and had known him for 5 years. Everytime the falang was heading to LOS he would call the driver ahead, and he would be there every time.

Until he last dropped him off at the airport. He said the falang was crying like a baby all the way to the Airport because his TG had found the BBD (bigger better deal). He told me this was a big no no in Thailand.

The next time the farang called him to pick him up at the Airport, the driver told me he said he was up country visiting family. He said the same on the farangs return journey.

I once went to see my mam at home one night. I found her sitting alone crying in the kitchen. 40yrs in an unhappy marridge and still standing by my dad.

When she saw me come in she literally ran to the bathroom to pull herself together. She was actually embarrased that I saw her cry. Maybe it's because she's old school and geordie. Maybe she's macho, whatever, but I was impressed at her strength and composure. And believe me, her life with that bastard has been torture.

Posted

Thanks for that post I really like the bit about your mum at the end reminds me of my own mother sounds like they where chipped from the same block of stone. I have just found these forums and I must say some interesting reading.

cheers

scopra

Posted
I also believe that Thailand makes a farang more emotional than he would be back home in certain situations...

... this could be true of anywhere in the world when you're away from your 'home' country for an extended period, but believe me, we all go through hard times in life - it's character building stuff. You might feel a little rough and overcome with emotion right now but this is inevitable when you try to shape your life rather than letting it be something that just happens to you. I think you're doing the right thing and when things seem all too much just remember the people who trudge through life avoiding hard choices, not feeling emotion and are effectively just going through the motions, (I can see plenty of the them right here in the U.K but I'm outta here soon enough) - this is not a life lived to the full. Yours could be :o ......

Posted
What is wrong with crying??  It's natural   it even helps your body get rid of toxins and it also helps you out in the long run  reduced stress levels

when i was with my wife last   in the hotel we were staying at in bangkok  i saw her crying   i couldn't help it either   it's natural   then we went to don muang so i could wait with her for her flight then mine afterwards   we cried a little bit at the airport

But, the operative term here is "In Private".

My wife very seldom cries - last time I saw her do it was when Princess Diana died.

For myself, I too had real moist eyes when seeing the World Trade Center disaster but my wife was unaware of my condition.

Posted

i broke down and cried infront of my thai gf because the night before i had done the unthinkable with the dirtiest skank in the khao san area. i couldn't speak or look my girl in the eye so everything came out in tears. i never told her that after we had a fight that night i did things to some minger that you wouldn't do to a farm animal :o

so i cried it was pathetic we moved on

we moved on quite abit we are getting engaged soon so she obviously isn't bothered about my sissy self loathing.

i also shed a few tears at the airport too when i left bkk only because me and my future fiancee bumped into a girl who i knew before her! in fact she was the reason why we had been fighting that fateful night(old jealousy) it could have been really messy but things turned out fine some how. i managed to convince my highly irrational gf that it was purely coincidence that she was at the airport same time as me. she thought i intended to meet them both at the kfc! i cried in sheer frustration and sadness that our relationship could end like this.i didn't need this extra stress just 1 hour before my flight home, it was bloody awful having to leave thailand like that...

Posted
I also believe that Thailand makes a farang more emotional than he would be back home in certain situations...

... this could be true of anywhere in the world when you're away from your 'home' country for an extended period, but believe me, we all go through hard times in life - it's character building stuff. You might feel a little rough and overcome with emotion right now but this is inevitable when you try to shape your life rather than letting it be something that just happens to you. I think you're doing the right thing and when things seem all too much just remember the people who trudge through life avoiding hard choices, not feeling emotion and are effectively just going through the motions, (I can see plenty of the them right here in the U.K but I'm outta here soon enough) - this is not a life lived to the full. Yours could be :o ......

Point brilliantly made.

Cheers Mango. :D

Posted

When my little piranha fish gets really really angry at me, she stomps her feet and her eyes start to leak. I can't help myself..she looks so funny that I just piss myself laughing.Then she starts laughing at me.It must look bloody funny :o

Posted
Yes i have cried in front of a girl before, but im not telling you any more than that.

Ok, was this before or after your mother gave you a spanking? :o

Posted
For myself, I too had real moist eyes when seeing the World Trade Center disaster but my wife was unaware of my condition.

Naahh, I didn't cry when that happened - I was in midtown that day, like me, most everyone in the city was in total shock. Then Anger. Then whatever the next Stage of Loss is ( I forgot the levels..... Denial? Sadness? )

I rarely cry, but in the few instances when I do, it's for silly little things, like when I watch sad movies or ..Errrr.... some Animated(!) films ( Grave of the Fireflies - about two children surviving after the Hiroshima atomic explosion at the end of WW2 makes everyone shead a tear.. ).

But the last time I seriously cried, was when I found out that my girlfriend was cheating on me. And I was blubbering in front of all my friends at a New Years Party! :o

And that was not a good sight to see... :D

Posted
Anyway, back to the point - why is showing emotion such a... Taboo almost?

Incedentally, Ning and I are still in touch by phone roughly every other day and are getting along so so as friends - I care about her more than I miss her.

"treat 'em mean, keep 'em keen".

And why care about someone who's just dumped you???

Who said she dumped me? I find assumption very irksome... We never officicially finished.

BTW I think she's either on her way to U.K. or has lost her phone... I've been busy anyway. :o

Posted

When i read most of the postings on this thread, i silently think for myself:

"No one here can be over 20, and absolutely not growing out from mommy's arse yet".

-You gotto stand up for you're own choices in life, and tears dont do any good, if its the wrong choice.

-For those wery emotionel: just cry out, man.....but dont let me see it, i will hate you ever after.

-If you cant find any other way than to burst in tears.....try to keep it for you'rself....most ppl will dispise you for crying in public.

Posted
When i read most of the postings on this thread, i silently think for myself:

"No one here can be over 20, and absolutely not growing out from mommy's arse yet".

-You gotto stand up for you're own choices in life, and tears dont do any good, if its the wrong choice.

-For those wery emotionel: just cry out, man.....but dont let me see it, i will hate you ever after.

-If you cant find any other way than to burst in tears.....try to keep it for you'rself....most ppl will dispise you for crying in public.

Just wondering then...

Which is the real man?

The one who sits on the end of the bed with his head in his hands sobbing, or the one who bottles up the emotion until it explodes through his fists, puts the telly through the screen door and beats up the girlfriend/mother/wife to within an inch of her life?

Answer that, cause I'm not sure now after reading your post - you're obviously more wise an experienced than any of us who have posted thus far.

Posted

I say the following in all seriousness...

The rules of engagement when dealing with women folk (not meant to sound war like) are complex in the extreme. In fact, so complex are the rules that they have only ever once been bound into a single book throughout time. So large was this rule book, that it collapsed in on itself under the influence of gravity, forming what is now a black hole somewhere in the Andromeda galaxy. We have therefore little chance of ever understanding them.

I do know this, however... and that is that it's OK to cry in front of a good woman after you've spent years with her and it is for a good reason.

Pleading with her to stay is not a good reason. Better to help her pack and call her a taxi. This rule applies to Thai women, Falang women, African women, Chinese women, Polynesian women.......................................

Posted
Pleading with her to stay is not a good reason. Better to help her pack and call her a taxi. This rule applies to Thai women, Falang women, African women, Chinese women, Polynesian women.......................................

Hear Hear :o

Posted

One of the things I learned in Thailand: let things GO! Don't try to abide to something/body.

Nevertheless let tears go, too - but yes - there are some things you don't do in public here and even showing them in private might "puzzle" some...

Posted

Read a great book recently that offered an explanation as to the emotions.

I don’t necessarily agree/disagree, just though it was interesting. Possibly more relevant traditionally, but still significant.

“Thais are taught from a young age that one should strive to exercise restraint and maintain composure in stressful situations, avoiding extreme displays of emotion, whether one is angry, sad-or even happy. This value is called sam ruam, related to the Buddhist concept of moderation, “to travel the middle path.”

He suggested smiles substitute emotions. Thus the author offered an explanation for the many “smiles” hence,

“LOS”

1) Yim thang nam taa: The “I’m-so-happy-I’m-crying” smile.

2) Yim thak thaai: The polite smile for someone you barely know.

3) Yim cheun chom: The “I-admire-you” smile.

4) Fuen Yim: The stiff smile, aka the “I-should-laugh-at-the-joke-though-its-not-funny” smile.

5) Yim mee lessanani: The smile which masks something wicked in your mind.

6) Yim yaw: The teasing, or “I-told-you-so” smile.

7) Yim yae-yae: The “I-know-things-look-pretty-bad-but-there’s-no-point-in-crying-over-spilled-milk” smile.

8) Yim sao: The sad smile.

9) Yim haeng: The dry smile, also known as the “I-know-I-owe-you-the-money-but-I-son’t-have-it” smile.

10) Yim thak thaan: The “I-disagree-with-you” smile, aka “You-can-go-ahead-and-purpose-it-but-your-idea-is-no-good” smile.

11) Yim cheua-cheuan: The “I-am-the-winner” smile, given to a loosing competitor.

12) Yim soo: The “smile-in-the-face-of-an-impossible-struggle” smile.

13) Yim mai awk: The “I’m trying-to-smile-but-can’t” smile.

Good luck, deciphering!

Posted
Better to help her pack and call her a taxi.

My only problem with this is that I wouldn't want her getting upset in the taxi once I she was out of my sight, thinking/believing that I no longer gave a toss about her.

The old, I'd rather be upset/hurt than upset/hurt sombody.

I'm a sucker for that one, me. :o

Posted
Better to help her pack and call her a taxi.

My only problem with this is that I wouldn't want her getting upset in the taxi once I she was out of my sight, thinking/believing that I no longer gave a toss about her.

The old, I'd rather be upset/hurt than upset/hurt sombody.

I'm a sucker for that one, me. :o

Hear that guys (and learn :D ) he's so sweet! or are you just pretending to be nice?

Posted
Read a great book... the author offered an explanation for the many “smiles” ...

Which smile means: "I hope you never come the way I used to make you come, you scheming, lying little bitch" ? :o

Posted

Wow Scamp, surprised at you, and the rest of you that think restraining a girl, even to the point of bruising is somehow acceptable. I don't think you are a bad guy from your other posts, but this type of action in America will get you thrown in the can in a hurry. Have no idea about you European leftists, and where you draw your lines. :D

Scamp, you seem to have a lot of problems (work, cash, future doubts, etc.) Think it far more intelligent to direct your energies to getting your life in order (whatever that means to you), than being in a relationship right now. Can't help but think that relations with the other sex will be better, when you feel better/more in control of your present and future.

So much for my dime store advice Scamp. Do what you want.

PS- Nothing wrong with crying, but usually best if done in private, and always best if you are crying out of joy or sadness for someone else, than your sorry self. :o

Posted
Wow Scamp, surprised at you, and the rest of you that think restraining a girl, even to the point of bruising is somehow acceptable. (EDIT) Have no idea about you European leftists, and where you draw your lines. :o

...this from someone who is too laid back for his own good - I know I would never hit a woman, I always thought this but once a long term girlfriend clearly decided to put this to the test by incessantly winding me up and nagging for a good two hours - we're talking non-stop here - when I resorted to the trusty friend of just simply not replying to her goading any longer then she lost it and flew at me ( I still have scars from her nails on my neck). Now, if I hadn't restrained her (no bruising btw) I don't like to think what sort of state my body would have been in afterwards. The summary? Now I really know I would never hit a woman, but restraint WAS necessary....

This from a european who isn't overly leftist but, then, isn't American either :D

Posted

Damnaam, if you read the initial post, like I did, then you will see that he restrained her from leaving, and out of anger. This is quite a different matter, and why no one thought it odd or wrong is quite beyond me.

Don't think I understand? Several years ago an ex came at me with a butcher knife. Went in about 1/4 of an inch before I was able to catch her wrist, and restrain her. When the cops finally showed up, they told me that if I were to press charges on her, she was going to press on me for the bruises on her wrist, and I could wait in jail for a judge to sort it out.

Believe me, I not only understand the difference, but even the ramifications of protecting oneself. :o

PS- It's said that crazy chicks are the best in bed. Must admit, that is why I didn't show her the door earlier. :D

Posted
Believe me, I not only understand the difference, but even the ramifications of protecting oneself. :D

PS- It's said that crazy chicks are the best in bed. Must admit, that is why I didn't show her the door earlier. :D

Believe me, I not only understand the difference, but even the ramifications of protecting oneself. :D

I believe you :D That'll teach me to forget the original post...

Crazy chicks best in bed eh? I'll go with that. only problem is when they get out of bed, unless they're already in a bad mood upon waking.... :o

Posted
Believe me, I not only understand the difference, but even the ramifications of protecting oneself.  :D

Tell that to my mate who got his ass whooped in the club by a 90kg girl boxer.

Actually his ass was whooped before he could land one. That's if he had decided to fight back. I waited till he stopped moving, and she was tired, before I intervined...

He's only wee as well, 65kg. Heheheh PMSL :o:D

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