The Grumpiest Ex-pat In Bangkok

[CarlBkk]

Just a little story, which is continuing each and every day. If the person I'm talking about is on this board I welcome his reasons.

Emporium, Friday morning 10am, food floor, Oriental coffee/cake shop. I went in there for breakfast, all seating is on stools in the window and there were only 2 other customers in there and plenty of seating. Ordered my food, sat at the stool and read the paper. 10 mins later I head some raised voice behind me in a "complaining" sort of way, then this guy in shorts/shirt, 50ish, blonde/grey hair, glasses grabs another paper and slams it down next to me. He slams his phones down and mumbles. I was staring him by this point wondering why someone can be so dam_n unpleasant to staff and in front of people at that time in the morning, and if he had glanced up I would have asked him why he was having such a bad day.

Anyway, out of the corner of my eye I noticed that he sharply and quickly pushed my bag further towards me when he had the space for 4 seatings. Soon after the waitress brought his food and again he did some Italianesque gesticulating and mumbling, which I couldn't hear. But I could hear him on the phone (again speaking fairly rudely in Thai then English). This was a businessman who had the manners of a chav.

I stayed for an hour and assumed this guy might have just lost a big contract/been cheated on/got locked out of his condo or something equally as bad. Oh no. As I went to pay he quickly summoned another waitress and again fairly loudly gesticulated towards my plates, but not quite loudly enough for me to hear from the counter. All waitresses looked uncomfortable with this guy and I was in two minds whether to go up to him to ask him why he was taking it out on people.

Then came the reason: he liked to sit in my spot every day. Yes, that's it. He was absolutely devasted and blatantly rude because he was a businessman regular and I was in his regular seat, so he was mad at the girls for not reserving it..and mad at me (or any other) that would be ONE seat further up than himself that day.

I had to laugh in both disbelief and suppessed anger at hearing this, at which point he STILL didn't turn around or make any eye contact. Maybe he was too important. The amazing this is, there is no way he would have acted like this at home...he would be hated wherever he went and probably banned. Embarrassingly for me, I think he's English.

On Monday it happened again. Got there 10am for their superb breakfast and coffee. A middle-aged ex pat couple were in the middle seats and so I sat in "his" place which was in the corner next to them.

Sure enough, just 2 minutes later I head a commotion behind and the women next to me turn around and then asked me why he was so upset. He made his feelings quite clear by loudly stating to all around him that "that place was reserved" before slamming down his paper and storming out before anyone could comment. The couple were amazed when I told them the story.

One hour later I was still there and sure enough he came back with his little gf/wife. As soon as he saw me he went mad again with the nearest waitress saying that he'd told her 4 times to keep that place reserved for him. The security guard came into vision. At this point I called him to come over and talk to me about it instead of the staff but he stormed off again.

I called the waitress over to apologise for HIS rudeness but said that I would be sitting wherever I wanted. She took it in good humour and said it nearly happens every day with this workaholic guy that likes his own way.

A repeat performance again this morning. He had called the manager beforehand to lay out his breakfast in "his" spot before he arrived. When I got there I chose to sit there and the staff were very amused to move his food.

5 mins later I heard him say "I give up with you!" loudly to the manageress before stomping off quickly.

10 mins later he telephoned the cafe from downstairs and asked the manageress to go down and speak to him! She came to warn me that she will be saying that she can prepare his breakfast but cannot prevent other customers sitting in that seat, and that I chose to sit there. She was worried that he may come up and argue with me...to which I asked her to tell him to come and see me.

10 mins later she came up without him and told me that he was going to complain to Oriental Hotel top brass that he was a 5-year regular and that he wanted that place reserved for him every morning and lunch (including weekends), so the manageress (very polite girl) was worried. She said he didn't wish to talk to me, but only to the staff and they should set the rules. I sense a coward.

No matter how long it takes he waits at another cafe downstairs and comes up get his place, which is most likely what he did when I left at 11am.

Yes, I'm winding him up. He is one of the rudest most openly aggressive expats I've met here and he's a bully. I will be asking him to complain to me if he has a problem with where I'm sitting, but at the moment there are only two ways he'll be able to reserve a stool in the corner: get there before it opens, or offer some explanation to me and an apology to the staff with some admittance that a stool in a cafe cannot be reserved for a morning coffee customer.

I just felt like telling this and maybe someone has met this guy, or maybe some want to. It's the windowed cafe next door to Piri Piri on 4th floor. In front of the till there are stools at the window. Go and sit there in the corner next to the coffee machine and participate in some entertainment you may normally see on a stereotyped TV comedy sketch. He may soon realise it's game over for the stool reservation plan.

[highlander76]

What a d!ckhead I hate folk like that if someone spoke to my staff in Scotland like that he or she would be shown the door and told to f!ck off.

[Rango]

i learned my lessons about poking grumpy bears a while ago....but it can be irresistable fun indeed!

[Farma]

Excellent…. good on ya. These guys are all over the world. I love winding them up. I’m normally a nice guy, but for them…………

I ones I’ve encountered are usually ex military expats. They act as if they’re living in the colonial past and look down their noses at anyone or everyone.

They deserve everything they get.

[mrtoad]

Carl, you may have had an ET experience.

Jokes aside, I'd keep on going and make sure that I sat in the seat he thinks is his. The guy sounds like a complete tool.

[thaigene2]

Think you've answered your own question. He's an outcast. TIT scores another idiot - no wonder Thais have a bad impression of us. I'm tempted to say he's probably is a ThaiVisa patron..You're probably right!

[Andiamo]

You know what's gonna happen now doncha? There is gonna be a rush on for THAT seat every morning as soon as they open the doors to Emporium at 10am. I can just picture the scene now as TV Members make a beeline for that stool! Hilarious! .

Could be the next meeting place for a 'Thai Visa Members' breakfast!!!

[britmaveric]

You should make a map out and anyone who reads this thread should pop in at all times and take his reserved spot. What a wan*er!!!

[CarlBkk]

The guy is certainly no ex-army colonial type, just a middle aged middle class grump who seems to hate people and life, and makes it known.

I feel sorry for the staff in there, especially the assistant manager (a polite friendly woman) who has to grin and bear his outbursts and insults. He exclaimed that he'll contact Oriental Hotel top brass to complain about this and her if I am in that seat tomorrow morning.

Guess what.

I will be in that seat.

I would like to inform the manager's boss of this situation somehow before he does. I hope they don't bow to his "coffee and cake for 5 years regular, so entitled to VIP seating reservation" tactics.

[taxexile]

i now know where to go for breakfast next time in bkk and where to sit.

wonderful stuff. pure joy . cant wait.

[StateSix]

I wouldn't describe him as grumpy, more of a kn*bhead. You should hang around out of sight until you see him walk towards the seat then run and grab it before he can react. For extra childish fun start stretching and making loud, satisfied noises while winking at him. See if he has the balls to say anything to your face

Actually, grumpy expat being snotty to Thais lower in the hierarchy to him. Hmm, wonder if he is a regular poster here

[CarlBkk]

I forgot to say, this chap wants his place EVERY morning until lunchtime, including weekends. If he can't get it (after the outbursts) he does downstairs to the Salon cafe and comes up on a regular basis to get his seat. If unavailable, outburst. Repeated until he gets his seat.

It's easy to find and at 10am there are very few sit-in customers. But hey, I'm a new regular for a while! tee hee.

[mrtoad]

You should make a map out and anyone who reads this thread should pop in at all times and take his reserved spot. What a wan*er!!!

Excellent idea, I quite fancy popping down that way on Friday.

[taxexile]

Excellent idea, I quite fancy popping down that way on Friday.

fine , just so long as you dont take that seat , ive baggsed it.

[britmaveric]

I forgot to say, this chap wants his place EVERY morning until lunchtime, including weekends. If he can't get it (after the outbursts) he does downstairs to the Salon cafe and comes up on a regular basis to get his seat. If unavailable, outburst. Repeated until he gets his seat.

It's easy to find and at 10am there are very few sit-in customers. But hey, I'm a new regular for a while! tee hee.

Just tell manageress that lot of TV members will be in, so in fact most likely get more business and lose one W*nker!!! Just every 30min or so pass the seat off to the next TV member!! (this good be good fun)

[mrtoad]

Excellent idea, I quite fancy popping down that way on Friday.

fine , just so long as you dont take my seat.

Do you know who I am?

[mikethevigoman]

Spoilt when he was a child maybe,?. i HATE people like this, well done for winding the ignorant <deleted> up, how people can behave and not know ( or care ) like this is beyond me,. ugh,.and yes i too am ashamed to admit im English sometimes, only because of the behaviour of others though,.

[chickenslegs]

I feel sorry for the staff in there, especially the assistant manager (a polite friendly woman) who has to grin and bear his outbursts and insults. He exclaimed that he'll contact Oriental Hotel top brass to complain about this and her if I am in that seat tomorrow morning.

Spare a thought for the Asst Manager. She has to take his abuse and may be worried about the repercussions if he complains about her.

How about just sitting next to him tomorrow and telling him what a prat he is.

I'm sure the staff are spitting in his coffee etc. already.Not something I would usually approve of, but in this case....

[Andiamo]

I forgot to say, this chap wants his place EVERY morning until lunchtime, including weekends. If he can't get it (after the outbursts) he does downstairs to the Salon cafe and comes up on a regular basis to get his seat. If unavailable, outburst. Repeated until he gets his seat.

It's easy to find and at 10am there are very few sit-in customers. But hey, I'm a new regular for a while! tee hee.

Just tell manageress that lot of TV members will be in, so in fact most likely get more business and lose one W*nker!!! Just every 30min or so pass the seat off to the next TV member!! (this good be good fun)

This could become like a cult. That seat is gonna be the hallowed turf! An the Oriental is gonna be the busiest it's ever been at 10am - all the TVers complaining cos they want THAT seat!

I'm often in Emporium Tower so may also pop over and elbow some of youse off da seat! Look out! YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED!

[boiledegg]

The guy you are talking about is famous and can be seen after 1.40 on the following link -

http://youtube.com/watch?v=Pay0ryj6vFQ

Classic Oz for those that remember this.

[Carib]

mmmm, i have seen something like that, but it was about a parkingspot. They both started coming earlier each day, just for that one spot.

We had a vote, and put the name of the one we thought who was " in title" to that spot, on a sign and put it there in the grass border.

You should have seen it, really. The " wrong" guy showed up first, and pulled out the sign and threw it away.

We put it back in the evening, and the next day the same thing happened.

The day after, the " right " guy parked there first, and it was the first time he saw the sign. He was smiles all over.

The other guy showed up up, noticed the sign, got out of the car, pulled it out of the ground an smacked it on top of the other guy`s car.

That was it!! They had a nice fight and absolutely had to be stopped, they would have killed each other.

We also had to come earlier every day, but we started to take turns, and used a video camera so we could show the others. ( yes i know, like kids)

With te company christmas party ' someone" ( no not me) gave them both a copy of the fight, and the both thought that the "other " one was playing santa.

It started all over again, but with being nasty to each other on each and every occasion possible. Talk about grown ups... ( forgetting our part here, hahaha)

[thaigene2]

You know what's gonna happen now doncha? There is gonna be a rush on for THAT seat every morning as soon as they open the doors to Emporium at 10am. I can just picture the scene now as TV Members make a beeline for that stool! Hilarious! .

Could be the next meeting place for a 'Thai Visa Members' breakfast!!!

Yes!

[toptuan]

If he can't get it (after the outbursts) he does downstairs to the Salon cafe...

So, anyone know where his favorite seat is down there, too?

[retirednavyman]

Excellent…. good on ya. These guys are all over the world. I love winding them up. I’m normally a nice guy, but for them…………

I ones I’ve encountered are usually ex military expats. They act as if they’re living in the colonial past and look down their noses at anyone or everyone.

They deserve everything they get.

I'm not only ex-military but retired military (from the US Navy) and i take issue with that stereotypical statement. I've always treated foreign nationals with respect and dignity. Don't lump ex-military expats into one group, it shows ignorance and narrow-mindedness

Regards

[CarlBkk]

If he can't get it (after the outbursts) he does downstairs to the Salon cafe...

So, anyone know where his favorite seat is down there, too?

Nope, I only found out that he resorts to a seat down there today. If you check out Oriental Cafe at 9.50 you will see the staff have placed a plate of quiche at his place. They gladly move it if you want to sit there. I will be there at that time and if anyone wants to join me and fill the 5 seats along the window next to me and await his arrival, you are welcome to. I'll be the blonde guy, medium height, early 30s. You will honestly be amazed at the guaranteed performance, more than I can describe in words on here. Besides, I need someone to take my place at weekends when I won't be there.

The assistant manageress (forgot her name) is a little worried about him complaining, so if anyone knows who to contact at the Oriental I'll put in a good word for her and let them know she's doing a good job as it is.

[burman]

I say you don't take his seat next time, but take the seat next to it.

When he comes in, he is happy and gets his seat. The mangeress is also happy because she's not getting stressed out by 'two little boys fighting over a seat in class' which she doesn't need or deserve.

And you can ask him why he is obsessed with getting that seat everyday. Maybe he's a really nice guy.

I wholeheartedly admit that I would probably also be playing the childish game.

But I'd like to think I'd try the alternative as well.

[surface]

This sounds too good to miss. I'm thinking I should make a video, register grumpyinthailand.com, and profit!

[mahtin]

Move over road rage, now we have TV Musical Chairs rage.

You know you people are going to give this guy an apoplectic fit, don't you?

Yeah, thought so

[CarlBkk]

Interesting stance Burman and I could try it, but when I think about it on the first time (Friday) I and my wife happened to be sitting in the middle seats quite innocently (the only people in the cafe!!) leaving "his" end seat free. As it was so close he still got mad and then slammed his stuff down the other side of me. It took a while before we realised that we had made him mad.

Every little mannerism I've noticed with this guy from his body language talking to the staff, the needless pushing away of my bag to the telephone manner he used in English and Thai while working ensured me that this is no nice guy.

If it wasn't me sitting in this area it would be someone else, as the staff said it's a regular occurance (with their tolerant smiles). I do actually feel a bit guilty for causing them a little more indirect abuse than they normally have with this guy though.

[burman]

If it wasn't me sitting in this area it would be someone else

Fair point. And you are saving those customers from a similar fate, almost providing a service in fact by taking the heat.

Enjoy guilt free knowing you looked at the alternative.