Thief In Our Family

[ozzydom]

Well,some good news at last, the coppers came back yesterday,and had another talk with the useless piece of humanity known as my stepson..

Seems they had been doing a bit of checking up on him and did not like what they found, the upshot was that they had a prison truck going to Bangkok yesterday and advised him to accept their offer of a free ride out of this area. Whoopee ! he took it, I just hope its for a very long time .

The really sad thing about this episode is that I have learned how some Thai families keep things in house and that ,after all this time I am still regarded as an outsider.

I learned from one of stepsons former friends that my favorite dog which dissappeared about 3 years ago was in fact killed and eaten by stepson and his drunken mates, I take that as true because his former friend was one of them but has since given up drinking and now has a responsible job. It transpires that the family knew about this and kept it from me ,instead letting me spend weeks driving the highways and byways looking for her.

This whole episode has left me pretty gutted and a lot of soul searching is going on as to whether I can remain in this situation.

[Dave the Dude]

Well,some good news at last, the coppers came back yesterday,and had another talk with the useless piece of humanity known as my stepson..

Seems they had been doing a bit of checking up on him and did not like what they found, the upshot was that they had a prison truck going to Bangkok yesterday and advised him to accept their offer of a free ride out of this area. Whoopee ! he took it, I just hope its for a very long time .

The really sad thing about this episode is that I have learned how some Thai families keep things in house and that ,after all this time I am still regarded as an outsider.

I learned from one of stepsons former friends that my favorite dog which dissappeared about 3 years ago was in fact killed and eaten by stepson and his drunken mates, I take that as true because his former friend was one of them but has since given up drinking and now has a responsible job. It transpires that the family knew about this and kept it from me ,instead letting me spend weeks driving the highways and byways looking for her.

This whole episode has left me pretty gutted and a lot of soul searching is going on as to whether I can remain in this situation.

Hi Oz

Glad you have a bit of restbite, but we both know he will be back when the and talking about Sh!t, I think it was best you did'nt know his bunch ATE your pet. I would have gone Ballistic. I would'nt blame the family, I am sure they had your interests at heart.

I know what you mean about being an outsider, but I just remember that if LOS was the same as my (Your) homeland, would you have settled here, I would'nt have.

We enter the Kingdom as Aliens and go out the same way. Enjoy the time you have.

Chock Dee

Dave

Edited August 30, 2008 by Dave the Dude

[HYENA]

I had a similar situation;about a 13 year old stealing. I noticed a few small things missing. I originally thought he'd be too shy when I came in person (I knew about him prior). He has jealousy issues; mother dumped him at grandma's/fathers/TGF's house (TGF has apartment in BKK now also) so he substitutes TGF as his mother since father is incapable of parenting. Kid is emotionally is a 7 year old (bad one) Any smaller being who gets more attention than him gets his wrath.

He bought some booze with stolen money one night, came home drunk, smashed the baby's toys, some of the few family belongings, slapped the baby, kicked the dog. He got a few good slaps and had to sleep outside that night and forgiveness the next day. Bottom line is; I don't come first and I am well aware of it so I have to play their system best I can.

I'd tried to buddy up to the kid and motivate him with some work for cash but he's busy reacting, being a huge pain every moment TGF is not paying attention to him (jealous of me, likely). I'm returning for the official marriage ceremony in several months but this time with a friend (who will be scouting for a gf/wife). I told TGF I need to warn him (he's got nice camera equipment...) she is begging I not tell him (save face/reputation). I told her better safe than sorry. If brat steals from him, he's outta there for sure (maybe it's not a bad thing for later). Problem I tell her is; no one seems to be the parent and he continues to do heinous things completely unchecked and I "thought" their family had more credibility?

I have hinted there are other families willing to do a little work on their side in exchange for having the 1 in 10,000 chance of being lifted out of poverty all the other good things that would come from the marriage (but maybe they don't think the same)?

So...after the next petty theft, I apologized to TGF told the family I'd like to leave the following day, never to return to Roi Et again and I loved them all, but I just cannot sit and be picked off daily when nothing is done and it makes no sense sending money their way to complete dysfunction, as the theif will only benefit and continue to ensure they're the poorest in their neighborhood... Next morning, TGF summoned the police before I woke up and they had a talk with him (of course it didn't last) He pulled out the pity cards, cried and said he'd kill himself before jail, so next night he was back in the house like nothing happened (but I didn't forget).

I offered to pay for school, military school, but no takers (free school)??? They say he'd just run away and hitchhike back home (apparently they shipped him off before)! He'd rather steal and not work (I offered to pay to get off his ass)- he doesn't or help the family. I have a huge problem with the lazy attitude. These people are supposed to be poor but some don't want to work? So TGF has two family members living in BKK apartment ...one niece is working but the younger cousin "doesn't feel like it" (why work when I'm supporting everyone)? I keep telling her I've never seen poor people who don't want to work (she had a job lined up but the cousin chose to sleep and watch TV instead). She can't kick her out because the uncle sent her down to avoid boys (I see nothing but lack of parenting--geographical cures in place of parenting)?

Back to the countryside...Of course I was talked out of leaving immediately after the "appearance" of the police talk but I think next time I'll take care of this for good. Something like building a house or helping open a business with my hard earned money (I'm not rich) to help dysfunction and they're not willing to step up to the plate...it's a bad sign if they're incapable of bringing down the hammer on him. I dread returning but I will make it clear I have to bring up the concern about putting dowry into the betel nut bowl with the thief around so I won't do that...maybe it's better not to get married in their hometown or not marry at all? A lot can hinge on this and I need to know how bad it is; I just have to play my cards right and figure all of this out. Yes I love her...at the same time this kid pisses me off to no end and their unwillingness to do anything about it leaves me with no faith thinking more problems down the road. I'd be throwing money into a mudded rice paddy, as far as I'm concerned if they can't even stop their cash cow from being robbed...

Any suggestions what to do about this brat?

My plan when I return (I'll need some help) is to set him up, nipping this in the bud once and for all:

I leave a couple thousand (some in my unlocked bag, some in my friend's unlocked bag inside the room, door shut, go for a motorcycle ride...) wait for him to steal it, then we can sadly tell the family what happened at which point I can tell my friend (in front of them) how this happened many times before and effectively nothing nothing was done even when I offered free boarding school/military academy and sadly not enough consequences took place and maybe we (my friend and his likely match made girlfriend by TGF) can sadly announce we're leaving for BKK not to return. I'll remind them of last time and if a real stone solution doesn't come, I'll go (apologizing all the way). Think about it, having an active theif with no protection...good situation to leave.

I'll tell them how sad I am, as I expected far different behavior and consequences this time and remind them after the first theft they promised it would never happen again. I'm not buiding a house there for some kid to smash out the windows and steal everythign not bolted down. Too many other perfect matches and decent poor families who would appreciate it.

I had serious second thoughts when I saw the lack of action taken after the third theft (and I can't really hit the kid myself). Either he goes or I go. Appearances are BS...so I can appear to be happy, love them all and appreciate them all but my feet will take me away if he remains.

Edited August 30, 2008 by HYENA

[torrenova]

I truly sympathise with the posters who have this problem and are getting royally shafted by the Thais they support.

However, I see no way out of it except for the guys to leave permanently unless they have offspring of their own when the solution has to be to leave with the kid or wife and kid and start again somewhere else. Outside Thailand if necessary.

These maggots will never learn. They insist on using ways of punishment which only work partially when there are no westerners around. Then the punishments are hard and can be permanent. With some soft touch (as they see it) then they do nothing.

The problem is that it is nigh on impossible to withdraw all financial support save for food becaus even some of that will find its way into the hands of these parasites. The wife will wail and say sorry a thousand times but it is all crocodile tears.

Sorry but you just have to walk away.