Sin Sod

[Kf6vci]

I love the pinned post on sin sod and re-read it many times. Here is another post about sin sod: http://www.nationmultimedia.com/2007/02/08...nt_30026297.php

A wife's family can start lambasting the couple as liars, bringing up sin sod months after the wedding.

Some aspects of sin sod are still not completely clear, or I keep reading conflicting information. Approving parents are said not to give a hoot about how much it is. This is not true in some cases.

Another sticky point is how actual spending by the farang groom gets recognised - or not. Maybe he has paid off some loan shark loan the family was paying 5% every month for. And he may have spent a lot on the wedding.

Ad hoc, an old demand for say 1 million Baht might be renewed with the family lambasting the newly weds for failing to pay this amount which was never officially agreed upon anyhow.

Q: are the cultural difference in Isaan?

*******

All farangs should pay attention. this may very well turn out to be a walk on a razor's edge with the marriage on the line.

This might be unorthodox, but I plan a trip to the temple to have MIL swear to accepting a full and final sin sod.

*********

another issue might be when an aged parent is shamelessly freeloading while making a lot more than the newly weds. The feeling of a daughter having to pay for flights etc. might have no basis on need. Of course, mother being an old widow trying to get by on 670 Baht a month in a hut in Isaan would be a different case.

Need or no need, the very same issues might come up at some points and cash a dark shadow of Thai-Farang marriages.

[CroBiker]

Isan...strange people, even stranger customs.

Southern Thailand people consider them human subspecies, shame of entire country.

[astral]

You need to take a tough line about this.

After the marriage there should be no more talk about Sin Sod.

It was presented at the wedding ceremony and that is an end to it.

In my case I got the whole sum back later in the day.

The presentation of the money was a matter of "face".

Later there will be sick buffaloes but that is a different matter.

It is an accepted part of Thai life that children are expected to support

their parents.

[Wrong Turn]

You need to take a tough line about this.

After the marriage there should be no more talk about Sin Sod.

It was presented at the wedding ceremony and that is an end to it.

In my case I got the whole sum back later in the day.

The presentation of the money was a matter of "face".

Totally agree.

After the marriage the issue should be finished. And as astral notes, many sin sods are "throw back" sin sods, where the brides family can show the community, and then give it back to you the next day.

I wish money didn't have to be so prevalent in such matters.

[phitsanulokjon]

You need to take a tough line about this.

After the marriage there should be no more talk about Sin Sod.

It was presented at the wedding ceremony and that is an end to it.

In my case I got the whole sum back later in the day.

The presentation of the money was a matter of "face".

Later there will be sick buffaloes but that is a different matter.

It is an accepted part of Thai life that children are expected to support

their parents.

Agreed +1

My case was exactly the same - the money was there to follow tradition to the satisfaction of my wifes dads side of the family who came down from Nong Khai to P.lok for the wedding.

When they returned home 2 days later, my now mother-in-law gave it back to us. We even used some of it to have a lovely honeymoon in Malaysia and Singapore !!!

There has been no more mention and it is accepted that we do what we can to help the elder part of the family when possible and within reason. This is sometimes just as simple as paying for the monthly elec or water every so often.

[robbiecia]

For some people here the idea of sin sod is unacceptable................but for me it's ok

I will be marrying next year in to a decent middle class family in BKK

The parents will be expecting a sin sod...........that will be given back to us the same day

I will be paying most of the wedding costs...............and thats fine with me too

Taking the local culture in to consideration, i am more than happy to give the family some "face" for the day

[mizzi39]

I kindly explained to my in laws that the sin sod may be part of their culture, but it was not part of mine. There daughter was marrying a westerner, and not a Thai. Presented money for show, which was given back at the end of the day. and that was it. I paid for the wedding, which was a fraction of what it would have cost in the U.S.

I did give my in laws the gold (about 50,000 baht worth) for a show of gratitude, but it was not asked for nor was it expected. I have a great relationship with my (issan) in laws, and they have never asked me for anything. They were happy that their daughter was marrying someone who she was in love with, and that we are close in age.

Guess it blows the overgeneralized myth that "all Thais are out to exploit the rich falang". My in laws know that i am "working class", and far from rich.

Edited September 25, 2008 by mizzi39

[Gravelrash]

Isan...strange people, even stranger customs.

Southern Thailand people consider them human subspecies, shame of entire country.

That's a tad harsh don't you think?

[mizzi39]

Isan...strange people, even stranger customs.

Southern Thailand people consider them human subspecies, shame of entire country.

What a stupid ignoramus. What subspecies are you from? Oops am I flaming? So sorry. Guess it beats flaming a whole region of people.

[britmaveric]

Properly done its all for show - anything else is pure robbery.

[stephaniee]

I kindly explained to my in laws that the sin sod may be part of their culture, but it was not part of mine. There daughter was marrying a westerner, and not a Thai. Presented money for show, which was given back at the end of the day. and that was it. I paid for the wedding, which was a fraction of what it would have cost in the U.S.

I did give my in laws the gold (about 50,000 baht worth) for a show of gratitude, but it was not asked for nor was it expected. I have a great relationship with my (issan) in laws, and they have never asked me for anything. They were happy that their daughter was marrying someone who she was in love with, and that we are close in age.

Guess it blows the overgeneralized myth that "all Thais are out to exploit the rich falang". My in laws know that i am "working class", and far from rich.

50k baht? for an issarn poppa and momma? thats a fortune to themm!

guys say they dont pay but i bet they pay! YOU CAN TELL BY HOW THEY WRITE.

Edited September 25, 2008 by stephaniee

[yabaaaa]

Isan...strange people, even stranger customs.

Southern Thailand people consider them human subspecies, shame of entire country.

That's the problem with "southerners" no manners......... says my Isssaaaaaaaaaaaaan wife

[yabaaaa]

Isan...strange people, even stranger customs.

Southern Thailand people consider them human subspecies, shame of entire country.

What a stupid ignoramus. What subspecies are you from? Oops am I flaming? So sorry. Guess it beats flaming a whole region of people.

Its easier to marry one with no living parents from Issan like wot i did.

Edited September 25, 2008 by yabaaaa

[bravingbangkok]

Isan...strange people, even stranger customs.

Southern Thailand people consider them human subspecies, shame of entire country.

That's a tad harsh don't you think?

A tad ? that is a disgrace however I am sure he is merely passing on info that he has heard, I personally find the south to be very rude and a very very dodgy area of Thailand. Would and do not go there, I take my holidays in Malaysia if I want a beach.

[mrbojangles]

I never paid any Sin Sod to my wifes family but now I've had a little girl, i'm all for it.

Wonder how much i'll get for a gorgeous Luk Krueng. Whatever it is, i'm gonna triple the price if she marries a Farang

Edited September 25, 2008 by mrbojangles

[thaigene2]

It's simply a matter of showing your respect for the family. It's a matter of face for the family - you need to understand this. I agree with Astral and the others. After the marriage, that's the end of it, but not the end of the money saga. Bear in mind this isn't just farangs - but the richer Thai families who get this as well.

Showing compassion and understanding - but not an open wallet - will raise your 'face' a lot too. Show you are a leader, or you will be seen as a loser. It's a middle of the road thing..but you'll earn their respect and you should help when needed. There's no clear answer...but do not be a 'kwai'.

Edited September 25, 2008 by thaigene2

[mrbojangles]

It's simply a matter of showing your respect for the family. It's a matter of face for the family -

But it's not that simple Thaigene. This "tradition" isn't practised by all Thai families and can vary from region to region and even within villages. Just like in the UK where historically, many (but not all) parents of the bride paid for the majority of the wedding. Nowadays, that's more of a rarity and the costs can be split by the parents, or they don't even pay at all. Times change and Thailand is no different. Some will keep to old traditions and some don't.

Edited September 25, 2008 by mrbojangles

[CroBiker]

Isan...strange people, even stranger customs.

Southern Thailand people consider them human subspecies, shame of entire country.

What a stupid ignoramus. What subspecies are you from? Oops am I flaming? So sorry. Guess it beats flaming a whole region of people.

Don't shoot the messenger Einstein, I was just relaying what southerners say about them.

[Mossfinn]

I was just relaying what southerners say about them.

It may be what some might say, but certainly not all, at least not the one's I know.

Good Luck

Moss

[mizzi39]

I kindly explained to my in laws that the sin sod may be part of their culture, but it was not part of mine. There daughter was marrying a westerner, and not a Thai. Presented money for show, which was given back at the end of the day. and that was it. I paid for the wedding, which was a fraction of what it would have cost in the U.S.

I did give my in laws the gold (about 50,000 baht worth) for a show of gratitude, but it was not asked for nor was it expected. I have a great relationship with my (issan) in laws, and they have never asked me for anything. They were happy that their daughter was marrying someone who she was in love with, and that we are close in age.

Guess it blows the overgeneralized myth that "all Thais are out to exploit the rich falang". My in laws know that i am "working class", and far from rich.

50k baht? for an issarn poppa and momma? thats a fortune to themm!

guys say they dont pay but i bet they pay! YOU CAN TELL BY HOW THEY WRITE.

Oh please trailer trash Troll, you're just learning to write!

Edited September 26, 2008 by mizzi39

[chrisspursbkk1]

For me as a westerner its very simple, from where i from its a custom for the father of the bride to pay for the wedding, from where my wife's from (Thailand) its a custom for the groom to pay sin sod, as its a western Thai marriage we should meet in the middle to respect each others customs. This way we all save face.

[Livinginexile]

I never paid any Sin Sod to my wifes family but now I've had a little girl, i'm all for it.

Wonder how much i'll get for a gorgeous Luk Krueng. Whatever it is, i'm gonna triple the price if she marries a Farang

Well done mate.

I'm sure there are plenty of idiots out there that will pay you a fortune.

[Livinginexile]

For me as a westerner its very simple, from where i from its a custom for the father of the bride to pay for the wedding, from where my wife's from (Thailand) its a custom for the groom to pay sin sod, as its a western Thai marriage we should meet in the middle to respect each others customs. This way we all save face.

He paid

[Bangyai]

If you break the Thai word into its two parts 'sin ' 'sod' you end up with a literal translation of ' cost of sticking into the hole ' . I think originaly, this was the bride price you paid for a virgin. Presumably if the er....hole in question had already been the target of a previous sticking in attempt, the bride price would have diminished accordingly. Worth pointing out to future in laws if you have the bottle. I know Thai guys will generaly have to pay more for a site that has not been prospected before

[CroBiker]

If you break the Thai word into its two parts 'sin ' 'sod' you end up with a literal translation of ' cost of sticking into the hole ' . I think originaly, this was the bride price you paid for a virgin. Presumably if the er....hole in question had already been the target of a previous sticking in attempt, the bride price would have diminished accordingly. Worth pointing out to future in laws if you have the bottle. I know Thai guys will generaly have to pay more for a site that has not been prospected before

Bangyai, thanks for making me laugh...the funniest thing, what you said is most likely true.

[Soutpeel]

It's simply a matter of showing your respect for the family. It's a matter of face for the family - you need to understand this. I agree with Astral and the others. After the marriage, that's the end of it, but not the end of the money saga. Bear in mind this isn't just farangs - but the richer Thai families who get this as well.

Showing compassion and understanding - but not an open wallet - will raise your 'face' a lot too. Show you are a leader, or you will be seen as a loser. It's a middle of the road thing..but you'll earn their respect and you should help when needed. There's no clear answer...but do not be a 'kwai'.

Very clear answer to me....absolute <deleted>

[Mossfinn]

Wonder how much i'll get for a gorgeous Luk Krueng. Whatever it is, i'm gonna triple the price if she marries a Farang

Can I start the negotiations now? My boy is no farang mind, he is Thai/Irish not a drop of Farang in him.

Good Luck

Moss

[britmaveric]

Irish Moss? Does that mean the young lad is red faced like most micks except thai? Mind you dare say sun ain't good for him either.... however will love his pints of Guinness.

Perhaps you and jangles should chat things over. (start payments now)

[mrbojangles]

Wonder how much i'll get for a gorgeous Luk Krueng. Whatever it is, i'm gonna triple the price if she marries a Farang

Can I start the negotiations now? My boy is no farang mind, he is Thai/Irish not a drop of Farang in him.

In that case Moss, 6m Baht, 1 potato field (about 2 acres) and three pints of Guiness. I've lowered the price especially for you

[mrbojangles]

Perhaps you and jangles should chat things over. (start payments now)

He did try and palm me off with his house before Brit but with the current credit crunch, i prefer money