White Girl And Thai Boyfriend

[mssabai]

While staying in international dormitory I observed what Asian male looking for

Women's body weight < men's body weight

Women's body height < men's body height

Age ???

Legend/symbol for "<" less than

The stinkiest room at that time was belong to Indian guy (must be the diet)

Wow you have totally got the Asian male wrapped up in a little stereotypical box with a bow on it.

What a meaningless and bigotted post.

[merck]

Not sure where all the cattiness came from in some of the female replies in this thread. Seemed a reasonable question to ask. Maybe because the first reply was somewhat negative, others followed suit...

[Changkok]

Sorry, but I always find that men and women who are attracted to people on the basis of race to be a bit shallow.

here here Garro. couldnt agree more with you on that one.

So am shallow because im only attracted to thai women?

I think thats very narrow minded :jerk:

[imjustagirl]

Sorry, but I always find that men and women who are attracted to people on the basis of race to be a bit shallow.

hmmm this made me think as i am guilty of saying this and don't consider myself shallow at all....i think perhaps if this question arises what i should say is i am most attracted to men of my own culture rather than 'race'....i certainly 100% would never discriminate an individual for the colour of their skin and have dated different races but they have all been raised in a western culture. I did try to date from the thai culture but found some of the differences too much to overcome and just find it easier to communicate and make a connection with someone similar to myself in values, language, humour and upbringing..... As was said its whats inside and i think sometimes i just don't get the eastern mentalities towards certain things.

i do agree with you garro and shall make a mental note not to flipantly make such a sweeping statement again for fear of being misunderstood!

[opebo]

I'd just like to add one observation - while we all know that Thai guy/farang girl relationships are quite rare, compared to Farang male/Thai girl relationships, has anyone else noticed that when you DO see Thai guys with farang girls, it is almost invariably a Southern Thai dude?

[Boo]

except when it's me & the other approx 10 thai man/western girl couples I know personally that aren't In fact of the 15 couples I know only 3 are from the south the other guys being from central provinces or Issan.

[Lozza]

You go Girlfriend...if that's what rocks your boat so be it, replies will only confuse you further to the point of never seeing anyone regardless of "race'... just a little piece of advice...please have a healthy Bank Account or you will not make it, the rules are applicable for Male/Female ( family support ) there would be a lot of SAD males out there if their Bank Accounts were not up to scratch...if you don't have the money honey???sorry, this is the Norm with most Asian/African cultures, it is a learning curve and only you can make a decision as to what is 'Right'/ Good luck and I hope all goes as you wish.

[sbk]

I don't know if its the "norm" or not but of the successful Thai man/western women relationships I know, almost all of them take place between two people of fairly equal status. In general, the successful long-term relationships I know of, the Thai man is not poor, earns his own living and has a decent social status among the Thai community.

I am sure there are many other relationships that don't follow this, but I don't know any personally.

[eek]

I'd just like to add one observation - while we all know that Thai guy/farang girl relationships are quite rare, compared to Farang male/Thai girl relationships, has anyone else noticed that when you DO see Thai guys with farang girls, it is almost invariably a Southern Thai dude?

Do you possibly mean when you visit the south, you see Western girls with Southern guys? For in that case it would be pretty normal when in a certain region you will most likely meet someone from that region. I live in the north and there are several Western women around with Thai partners (myself included), but im yet to see a woman with a Thai man who looks distinctly from the South.

[mssabai]

I'd just like to add one observation - while we all know that Thai guy/farang girl relationships are quite rare, compared to Farang male/Thai girl relationships, has anyone else noticed that when you DO see Thai guys with farang girls, it is almost invariably a Southern Thai dude?

Do you possibly mean when you visit the south, you see Western girls with Southern guys? For in that case it would be pretty normal when in a certain region you will most likely meet someone from that region. I live in the north and there are several Western women around with Thai partners (myself included), but im yet to see a woman with a Thai man who looks distinctly from the South.

Exactly. Nearly all of the couples I know are either southern lads or southern lads who work in the south. But I live in the south so that figures!

[oan]

i am a thai guy who is really into white girls....i live in thailand but i speak english quite well and i have a strong british accent. but the problem is i dont think i'm good looking, so i'm not confident to approach any of them. i dont know if they'll like me or not. i'm afraid that i will repulse them. please tell me what to do!! any tips (especially from any white girl)?

p.s. i got a scholarship to pursue my master's in UK and i really hope to find love with white girl there (or here in thailand)...

Edited December 5, 2008 by oan

[girlx]

try a dating site, thai visa is not the place.

[Goinghomesoon]

Sorry, but I always find that men and women who are attracted to people on the basis of race to be a bit shallow.

i do agree with you garro and shall make a mental note not to flipantly make such a sweeping statement again for fear of being misunderstood!

I'm guilty of that flippant statement too and have often proclaimed that I was only interested in Asian men. But the reality is that I have lived most of the last 15 years in Asia and therefore met - and was attracted to - far more Asian men than foreigners. I must remember not to generalise (smack, smack, naughty, naughty).

[garro]

Sorry, but I always find that men and women who are attracted to people on the basis of race to be a bit shallow.

i do agree with you garro and shall make a mental note not to flipantly make such a sweeping statement again for fear of being misunderstood!

I'm guilty of that flippant statement too and have often proclaimed that I was only interested in Asian men. But the reality is that I have lived most of the last 15 years in Asia and therefore met - and was attracted to - far more Asian men than foreigners. I must remember not to generalise (smack, smack, naughty, naughty).

More than 60% of the worlds population is Asian and the term covers a vast number of countries and cultures. All the way from Istanbul to Tokyo, from Bangladesh to Mongolia or Sri Lanka. The statement doesn't so much sound a bit naughty but more a bit silly.

Edited December 6, 2008 by garro

[Goinghomesoon]

Sorry, but I always find that men and women who are attracted to people on the basis of race to be a bit shallow.

i do agree with you garro and shall make a mental note not to flipantly make such a sweeping statement again for fear of being misunderstood!

I'm guilty of that flippant statement too and have often proclaimed that I was only interested in Asian men. But the reality is that I have lived most of the last 15 years in Asia and therefore met - and was attracted to - far more Asian men than foreigners. I must remember not to generalise (smack, smack, naughty, naughty).

More than 60% of the worlds population is Asian and the term covers a vast number of countries and cultures. All the way from Istanbul to Tokyo, from Bangladesh to Mongolia or Sri Lanka. The statement doesn't so much sound a bit naughty but more a bit silly.

True. To be honest when I lived in Cambodia I would only say that I liked Khmer men. When it really came down to it, I loved 1 Khmer man and we were together nearly 10 years. As I'm sure you know, strangers can be really nosy when they think your relationship is somehow different (or more exotic) than everyone else. But by tossing people a flippant comment you don't need to explain yourself.

[Pdaz]

Sorry, but I always find that men and women who are attracted to people on the basis of race to be a bit shallow.

Relieved to hear I'm not 'shallow' .... I usually select my girlfriends on the basis of how firm and pert their ass is.... race just doesn't come into it.....

[garro]

Sorry, but I always find that men and women who are attracted to people on the basis of race to be a bit shallow.

Relieved to hear I'm not 'shallow' .... I usually select my girlfriends on the basis of how firm and pert their ass is.... race just doesn't come into it.....

No, shallow is not the word that would be used in this case.

Your case is deserving of a different word.

[patklang]

I am afraid that I have just as much of a problem with people saying they "only" fancy Asian guys as when I hear white people saying they "only" fancy white people. I find it racist and also a little ignorant. What about what's inside? You cannot base a relationship purely on looks can you? Sure everyone has a type, but who can say they religiously stick to it? Wouldn't you think it was funny if your friend said she only dated people with red hair, or green eyes? I know that not everyone agrees with me, but this kind of phrase has always made me uncomfortable...

f course people can say they only like white skin,thats not racist.many types of black skin look like rino skin and not good to look at but that doesnt mean i am racist just prefer milky white beautiful skin.

btw it doesnt matter what skin they are as long as they are rich lol

[patklang]

i am a thai guy who is really into white girls....i live in thailand but i speak english quite well and i have a strong british accent. but the problem is i dont think i'm good looking, so i'm not confident to approach any of them. i dont know if they'll like me or not. i'm afraid that i will repulse them. please tell me what to do!! any tips (especially from any white girl)?

p.s. i got a scholarship to pursue my master's in UK and i really hope to find love with white girl there (or here in thailand)...

first post

TROOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOL

[lounger]

Shallow is a word is used by people being passed over for that reason. So a fat person says your shallow if you prefer slim people. As said before we are all different and rthat includes our tastes. I learned somewhere that we are interested in sight (visual),touch ( kinisthetic) or hearing ( aural). So if you like girls in uniform you are drawn to the visual aspect, If you prefer a cuddle then your kinisthetic. having these traits is not shallow any more than prefering the sour mango to the sweet one. generally opposites attract. This doesn't mean we want a partner with no common language or interests but having differences in a partner does help to break habits( the dredded rut), so the intravert gets out more the urbanite explores the countryside all because the partner suggests it

If you are Thai and you like white girls then you may have a cultural difference and you may find opposition, but give it a try. You wont know until you try.There must be about 200 million girls all different so dont be put off by a few bad experiences. Try learning the difference between say girls from Australia, America and England; they are very different.......But start soon before you lose the inquisitiveness...

[sbk]

all interesting points, but we are talking about western women interested in Thai guys, not the other way round.

Although I am sure your points are just as relevant if you substitute the word "girls" for "men" (cause lets face it, most women are not interested in boys )

[mssabai]

i am a thai guy who is really into white girls....i live in thailand but i speak english quite well and i have a strong british accent. but the problem is i dont think i'm good looking, so i'm not confident to approach any of them. i dont know if they'll like me or not. i'm afraid that i will repulse them. please tell me what to do!! any tips (especially from any white girl)?

p.s. i got a scholarship to pursue my master's in UK and i really hope to find love with white girl there (or here in thailand)...

first post

TROOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOL

Kept meaning to post that too. Blatently.

[JemJem]

More than 60% of the worlds population is Asian and the term covers a vast number of countries and cultures. All the way from Istanbul to Tokyo, from Bangladesh to Mongolia or Sri Lanka. The statement doesn't so much sound a bit naughty but more a bit silly.

Sorry but Istanbul, or rather Constantinople, (I actually prefer this former name of this city...sounds cool...hehehe) can hardly be described as Asian. It is definitely more European than Asian.

Coming back to the post of OP and the comments here, I can understand why some folks find it shallow that she likes to go for only Asian guys but I can also understand her in that this is her preference. I don't think she is someone who is racist/bigoted. I hope she is not so, anyway.

Jem

Edited December 12, 2008 by JemJem

[mssabai]

Just with regards to Istanbul - they do class it as Asia. Well half of it. It is the only city to span two continents. 90% of Turkey is in Asia.

[sbk]

JemJem, long time no see, glad to have you back

As for the whole accusation of shallowness or whatever. Lets face it, we all have preferences in appearance. I always liked blond guys with blue eyes (how funny is that?) until I met and fell in love with my husband. But, I also never limited myself to blond guys, just tended to find them more attractive.

Now, I can appreciate good looking guys of all different appearances. Just looking of course

[mssabai]

I agree with you sbk. I too used to have a thing for blondes but I never said that I am "only attracted to blondes". Kind of limits your options. Also it is possible to fall in love with someone who initially you may not have even found that physically attractive.

[eek]

I think if you say you are only attracted to one type of person, it can come over as extreme, but, i totally agree about being attracted in particular to a certain 'type'. Ive always been generally more drawn towards dark haired and dark featured men. In saying that my ex of 8 years had mid brown hair and green/brown eyes. I will confess that ever since I was young girl and first saw Asian men on TV, I was entriqued by their different appearance to what was around me. But, I was also entriqued by other "different" backgrounds/appearances too. Although I didnt come to Thailand to meet a man (I came to take time over a difficult break-up and had no desire to meet a man), after I began to feel more open about another relationship, the idea of meeting a man from a different cultural background with an "exotic" appearance appealed to me. I confess that I was probably more open to the idea of dating a Thai man than a western man, maybe because i wanted to experience the difference, or because i am developing a love for Thailand so wanted to feel somehow more a part of it, im really not sure though. Maybe that also makes me sound shallow. But, in my defence, I wasnt closed off to meeting a man from any place, as long as he seemed interesting to know. Just that I did happen to meet an interesting Thai man. Ultimately, in the end, it comes down to compatibility with me, not appearances.

Edited December 14, 2008 by eek

[bina]

ive always liked asian type facial and body features(less body hair, different type of skin, scent); my ex however was tall, blond/redish, strong, and big boned with yellow eyes... now he has his yemenite ideal that he had always joked about wanting(dark thick black wavy hair, high cheekbones, tall, slenderish) and i got mine: thai... but short, rather chubbyish, high cheekbones, dark skin, etc and a good strong heart. my very first real boyfriend was bangkok thai, and i dated koreans chinese and even a crazy malaysian (just dates)all of whom lved in my area in the states.... and have actually always preferred dark/coffee coloured skinned men, short like me with full lips.

although a guy with green/hazel eyes and a good scent would have been good also...

bina

israel

[eek]

Funny to me when you mention the body hair thing. Today I was in a queue at Laos Immigration with a lot of western men in front of me. When my eyes lowered out of tiredness they fell upon a lot of very hairy limbs. Im not used to that anymore, and was really surprised at how hairy some men can be!

[Dissolution]

How is it that these seemingly incomprehensible Thai dudes meet up with white chicks, but for the life of me, I don't actually ever meet or even see any. (Probably 'cos wrong country. )

I'm probably hanging about in the wrong places.

As to the OP:

Well, as many others have mentioned, could be a difference in culture. As you probably may not understand Asian cultures and values, we don't really understand yours either. I guess it all comes down to mutual understanding and communication. If both sides really want to me it work, be it a friendship or a more intimate relationship, then I guess you'll both have to meet somewhere in the middle. Compromise might be the word for the day.

Don't like him putting you off for work or whatever? Feeling neglected and not getting enough attention? Give him a call, meet up with him, whatever. Talk about it. See what he has to say. Discuss.

Good luck!