Thai G/f Moving In With Me In Bkk

[ZenTraveler]

I am an American who moved to Bangkok a month ago. I have a studio (one room) 30 sq m. apartment on late Sukhumvit. My Thai girlfriend graduates from her Uni in the Bangkok outskirts in two weeks and then will be moving in with me. Wondering if there was any advice or things I should know in advance for this transition.

She tends to be a little messy with her belongings and wants to cook for me which isn't allowed in the apartments. I haven't read ''Thailand Fever'' yet and we're still working on the American English/Thai language barrier. She has studied English for many years and her B.A. is in English. She is trying to obtain a job as a Flight Attendant as she is taking weekend courses at a FA School. She doesn't live off of me financially and we're splitting the rent.

Thanks for any advice!

Zen.

Edited February 19, 2009 by ZenTraveler

[samuibeachcomber]

I am an American who moved to Bangkok a month ago. I have a studio (one room) 30 sq m. apartment on late Sukhumvit. My Thai girlfriend graduates from her Uni in the Bangkok outskirts in two weeks and then will be moving in with me. Wondering if there was any advice or things I should know in advance for this transition.

She tends to be a little messy with her belongings and wants to cook for me which isn't allowed in the apartments. I haven't read ''Thailand Fever'' yet and we're still working on the American English/Thai language barrier. She has studied English for many years and her B.A. is in English. She is trying to obtain a job as a Flight Attendant as she is taking weekend courses at a FA School. She doesn't live off of me financially and we're splitting the rent.

Thanks for any advice!

Zen.

well for starters 30 sq.m. is too small for 2 people,you'll end up going crazy,so get a bigger place.

[MJo]

Average influx of "stuff" will be around 100 liters per week. Works up to one m3 for every 3 months or so. If you can live with that and need the money go ahead. Also not to mention the need to watch 3 hrs of thai soap from tv on saturday nights overlapping with football

Also expect trouble from the building management if cooking is not allowed since there will be small gas bottle with burner in no time. There is two options for it. Out in the balcony / laundry room or next to your bed for convenience when preparing breakfast.

Trust me on this, i've been there myself

[jtp]

I am an American who moved to Bangkok a month ago. I have a studio (one room) 30 sq m. apartment on late Sukhumvit. My Thai girlfriend graduates from her Uni in the Bangkok outskirts in two weeks and then will be moving in with me. Wondering if there was any advice or things I should know in advance for this transition.

She tends to be a little messy with her belongings and wants to cook for me which isn't allowed in the apartments. I haven't read ''Thailand Fever'' yet and we're still working on the American English/Thai language barrier. She has studied English for many years and her B.A. is in English. She is trying to obtain a job as a Flight Attendant as she is taking weekend courses at a FA School. She doesn't live off of me financially and we're splitting the rent.

Thanks for any advice!

Zen.

well for starters 30 sq.m. is too small for 2 people,you'll end up going crazy,so get a bigger place.

Ditto! Best advice you will get all day.It is impossible to live without SOME personal space(For both of you).Only other thing that comes to mind is don't sweat the small things,there will be plenty of times you don't understand her,and vice versa.(Regardless of her English studies)Book yourself in for some language courses(If you haven't already).Sounds like you may have got yourself a good one,my sister in law was senior management for Thai airways for many years.Best of luck.

[Scott]

Just make sure you stay on top of things.

[neverdie]

RUN NOW, while you can!

[jtp]

RUN NOW, while you can!

[DP25]

Be prepared to do a runner and abandon the apartment if you want to break up with her.

[neverdie]

Be prepared to do a runner and abandon the apartment if you want to break up with her.

Theres been so many a story here in LOS about this type of thing. Most people start off with that ole "Naa, it won't happen to me" type of attitude.

By the end of it they are wishing they lived in fort knox with armed security personnel.

[kurnell]

Disable the Thai drama TV channel

[t.s]

would suggest you continue paying the same rent you were and put her contribution towards finding a larger space.

[ZenTraveler]

Disable the Thai drama TV channel

Here's the most amazing part.... I don't have a television in my apartment! Wild, isn't it! You have to pay extra for that each month and I didn't opt too. There are televisions in each of the two restaurants on the first floor and the main lobby also has a television. The other night when she was over and we returned she wanted to sit in the lobby for awhile and watch television. I got my laptop and brought it down to sit with her but the wifi wasn't working so she agreed to go back to the room with me instead of sitting there by herself to watch television.

[a2396]

I hope you have known her for a reasonable time and you know she is stable and trustworthy. I once shared an apt with a Thai girl once & she took off with all the stuff one morning, while I was gone. I am also surprised you may have communication problems, if she is a uni grad with an English major. They are the one catagory of Thai, who usually have a reasonable command of Englsih. One room apt also pretty tight for two on al full-time basis. Good luck.

[Explorer]

RUN NOW, while you can!

Agree

[Sabum]

I hope you have known her for a reasonable time and you know she is stable and trustworthy. I once shared an apt with a Thai girl once & she took off with all the stuff one morning, while I was gone. I am also surprised you may have communication problems, if she is a uni grad with an English major. They are the one catagory of Thai, who usually have a reasonable command of Englsih. One room apt also pretty tight for two on al full-time basis. Good luck.

No thy don't speak english well at all, they are taught very badly. However, it is very similar in Japan where many Japanese can read and write english very well but can barely speak it.

Op, really, hope things don't turn out ugly for you, sounds like a disaster in the making. Unless you've known this girl for years and neglected to mention?

[teacup]

I don’t try to be mean here

But due to recent explosion about ----all sorts of GF problems - threads,

Seriously just a question……….how old are most of you guys here anyway?……12?

[bkkjames]

I don’t try to be mean here

But due to recent explosion about ----all sorts of GF problems - threads,

Seriously just a question……….how old are most of you guys here anyway?……12?

isn't it past your bedtime in California dear?

[samuibeachcomber]

I don't try to be mean here

But due to recent explosion about ----all sorts of GF problems - threads,

Seriously just a question……….how old are most of you guys here anyway?……12?

come on teacup,we're all over 21,you know that,but what you dont know is we are all under 50 too.

[teacup]

I don’t try to be mean here

But due to recent explosion about ----all sorts of GF problems - threads,

Seriously just a question……….how old are most of you guys here anyway?……12?

isn't it past your bedtime in California dear?

still crunching on the project,.... just couldn't help when this type of thread keeps poping up every 2 secs

why such the concern ja?.........still feel unloved and forgotten?

[teacup]

I don't try to be mean here

But due to recent explosion about ----all sorts of GF problems - threads,

Seriously just a question……….how old are most of you guys here anyway?……12?

come on teacup,we're all over 21,you know that,but what you dont know is we are all under 50 too.

seem to me.....maturity doesn't come with age "for men", like a fine wine then huh

[bkkjames]

well-teacup, I think you will find that most of this thread basically says don't get such a small space with a few run for life comments in between.

if your goal is to come on here and defend the might thai female right to shack up with a farang, then I suggest you add something to the topic instead of name calling.

Perhaps there is a correlation between all the money grubbing female / gf / wives threads and something else going on in LOS (and I don't mean angeles), do you know what it might be?

[venturalaw]

I am an American who moved to Bangkok a month ago. I have a studio (one room) 30 sq m. apartment on late Sukhumvit. My Thai girlfriend graduates from her Uni in the Bangkok outskirts in two weeks and then will be moving in with me. Wondering if there was any advice or things I should know in advance for this transition.

She tends to be a little messy with her belongings and wants to cook for me which isn't allowed in the apartments. I haven't read ''Thailand Fever'' yet and we're still working on the American English/Thai language barrier. She has studied English for many years and her B.A. is in English. She is trying to obtain a job as a Flight Attendant as she is taking weekend courses at a FA School. She doesn't live off of me financially and we're splitting the rent.

I strongly suggest that you read 'Thailand Fever'. It's an interesting read and although some parts are culturally inaccurate for the Westerner (really over-broad to the point of being completely incorrect) I learned something about Thai thinking (I was going to say Thai logic, but that could be an considered an oxymoron).

I lived in a one-room place with the Thai woman I eventually married. She too can be messy - but when it is right, you adjust - actually she has adjusted much more than I have. In any event, for just the 2 of us, it was fine. We now have a house in Chiang Mai and a baby. It's been the best experience in my life.

Good luck to you.

[teacup]

well-teacup, I think you will find that most of this thread basically says don't get such a small space with a few run for life comments in between.

if your goal is to come on here and defend the might thai female right to shack up with a farang, then I suggest you add something to the topic instead of name calling.

Perhaps there is a correlation between all the money grubbing female / gf / wives threads and something else going on in LOS (and I don't mean angeles), do you know what it might be?

correlation?... yea- I know but rather not say it myself..........why don't you be the fall guy here then?

[bkkjames]

well-teacup, I think you will find that most of this thread basically says don't get such a small space with a few run for life comments in between.

if your goal is to come on here and defend the might thai female right to shack up with a farang, then I suggest you add something to the topic instead of name calling.

Perhaps there is a correlation between all the money grubbing female / gf / wives threads and something else going on in LOS (and I don't mean angeles), do you know what it might be?

correlation?... yea- I know but rather not say it myself..........why don't you be the fall guy here then?

mine was to do with the state of the economy and the affect it is having on couples, no idea what you are on about.

[teacup]

well-teacup, I think you will find that most of this thread basically says don't get such a small space with a few run for life comments in between.

if your goal is to come on here and defend the might thai female right to shack up with a farang, then I suggest you add something to the topic instead of name calling.

Perhaps there is a correlation between all the money grubbing female / gf / wives threads and something else going on in LOS (and I don't mean angeles), do you know what it might be?

correlation?... yea- I know but rather not say it myself..........why don't you be the fall guy here then?

mine was to do with the state of the economy and the affect it is having on couples, no idea what you are on about.

just everyday basic "common sense" which I assume it should come with maturity.........unless you're all underage here...hmm

[ZenTraveler]

I hope you have known her for a reasonable time and you know she is stable and trustworthy. I once shared an apt with a Thai girl once & she took off with all the stuff one morning, while I was gone. I am also surprised you may have communication problems, if she is a uni grad with an English major. They are the one catagory of Thai, who usually have a reasonable command of Englsih. One room apt also pretty tight for two on al full-time basis. Good luck.

I have known her since March of last year (almost a year now) and we've been dating since beginning of September (almost 7 months). She is truthworthy and I have met her main friends and her family twice. I don't have anything worth taking aside from my laptop and digi.

It seems that people who go to college for English here in Thailand don't really know a lot of English. I talk to her friends, all in the same English faculty and she has to translate for me with them all. She has studied English longer than her friends, prior to college, but English here seems to be standard or international without any understanding of American humor, metaphors, innuendos, analogies, figure of speech, etc. Such as I can't have a philosophical debate with her or use wisdom or quotes when talking to her... which greatly lessons what I say since that is how I speak usually.

[samuibeachcomber]

I hope you have known her for a reasonable time and you know she is stable and trustworthy. I once shared an apt with a Thai girl once & she took off with all the stuff one morning, while I was gone. I am also surprised you may have communication problems, if she is a uni grad with an English major. They are the one catagory of Thai, who usually have a reasonable command of Englsih. One room apt also pretty tight for two on al full-time basis. Good luck.

I have known her since March of last year (almost a year now) and we've been dating since beginning of September (almost 7 months). She is truthworthy and I have met her main friends and her family twice. I don't have anything worth taking aside from my laptop and digi.

It seems that people who go to college for English here in Thailand don't really know a lot of English. I talk to her friends, all in the same English faculty and she has to translate for me with them all. She has studied English longer than her friends, prior to college, but English here seems to be standard or international without any understanding of American humor, metaphors, innuendos, analogies, figure of speech, etc. Such as I can't have a philosophical debate with her or use wisdom or quotes when talking to her... which greatly lessons what I say since that is how I speak usually.

well i dont understand american humour either,and english is my native tongue its a bit much to expect your g/f to understand metaphors,analogies etc...........give her a break eh!

[ZenTraveler]

well-teacup, I think you will find that most of this thread basically says don't get such a small space with a few run for life comments in between.

if your goal is to come on here and defend the might thai female right to shack up with a farang, then I suggest you add something to the topic instead of name calling.

Perhaps there is a correlation between all the money grubbing female / gf / wives threads and something else going on in LOS (and I don't mean angeles), do you know what it might be?

@teacup @bkkjames @samuibeachcomber

I am 27 yro and from American culture. My g/f, whom I have known almost a year and been dating for about 7 months, is 22 and Thai from a middle class family, Thai Uni educated, her parent's are teachers and brother a doctor. Because of cultural differences and me coming from a Westernized country to a third world country - it is only a fair question to pose. My g/f is not money hungry or untrustworthy and neither is her family.

As for the other threads that you speak of... I did not start this thread based upon other threads or other people's opinions, views, preconceptions, or ideals. Please view each thread as unique onto itself when originating from different forum members.

Thank you for all who have responded thus far. I will be purchasing a copy of "Thailand Fever" in the future. Continued discuss is welcomed and appreciated.

Peace,

Zen.

[ZenTraveler]

but English here seems to be standard or international without any understanding of American humor, metaphors, innuendos, analogies, figure of speech, etc.

well i dont understand american humour either,and english is my native tongue its a bit much to expect your g/f to understand metaphors,analogies etc...........give her a break eh!

As seen above, I never stated that I "expected her to understand American humor". I simply stated observations made by myself from personal interactions with English speaking Thai University students. Again, I am new to this country so I am learning about the culture, education system, society, relationships,et centra. Including what kind of English people learn in higher education. Some people in other countries learn a great deal about American culture, slang, humor, et centra from watching American television.

Every interaction is a learning experience. Isn't it an adventure, then, to meet someone new.

Cheers.

[bkkjames]

well-teacup, I think you will find that most of this thread basically says don't get such a small space with a few run for life comments in between.

if your goal is to come on here and defend the might thai female right to shack up with a farang, then I suggest you add something to the topic instead of name calling.

Perhaps there is a correlation between all the money grubbing female / gf / wives threads and something else going on in LOS (and I don't mean angeles), do you know what it might be?

@teacup @bkkjames @samuibeachcomber

I am 27 yro and from American culture. My g/f, whom I have known almost a year and been dating for about 7 months, is 22 and Thai from a middle class family, Thai Uni educated, her parent's are teachers and brother a doctor. Because of cultural differences and me coming from a Westernized country to a third world country - it is only a fair question to pose. My g/f is not money hungry or untrustworthy and neither is her family.

As for the other threads that you speak of... I did not start this thread based upon other threads or other people's opinions, views, preconceptions, or ideals. Please view each thread as unique onto itself when originating from different forum members.

Thank you for all who have responded thus far. I will be purchasing a copy of "Thailand Fever" in the future. Continued discuss is welcomed and appreciated.

Peace,

Zen.

mate i am in agreement with you and hence why i took our little teacup to task, your question is legite. my only question is whether or not her parents know of your living arrangements? My experience (not unsimilar to yours, her background) was that she was not allowed to stay overnight - of course that changed once we got married.